Nice work 

If anything, and as ruthless as he can be once he's chosen a course, Thomas is one of the few truly compassionate characters in your story. That alongside his male condition, his henchman role, and conflicting past make him quite a unique protagonist in your world. I also wonder if there isn't a twist about him in fact knowing where his sister was from the beginning ?  For my part, I enjoyed this chapter quite a lot in terms of scenario, as it was rich in dilemmas for Thomas and Octavia, featured some nice tension with Harkon's hide and see sequence, and as said earlier some compassion towards an character no one would've felt obligated towards. Hence an underdog who could use some redemption after having lost the game of power at the Queen's court. Your blood tattoos/textures, but also bruises and burns also enforced the result, with the lighting and even adjusted poses deepening the immersion. Some of Octavia's dialogues felt a bit uninspired at the start though, but the special font for Harkon's revealed form was on the contrary a great idea. Plus there even was a quite brutal fight, which did justice to Thomas' skills. Excellent chapter overall ! ?

« I remember once you telling me hanging out with Thomas would be a bad idea, as he would very drink all the blood of human gals.

                 I see that wasn't true. Plus now he's got three gals around him instead of one, uh.

                 I very thank you for that non expert advice, Mr Native.  »

Alright Alter, I have to admit, that this chapter left me with a great many questions. Usually I can follow the reasons, that motivate your characters, fairly well. But (mostly) Thomas' actions/reactions here were somewhat baffling to me. For example:

- Why does Thomas look so scared in this one?

I know, this is right after Octavia told him, that the queen asked for her personally, but why does he care so much all of a sudden? He knows, that servants get killed all the time, yet here he goes so far, as to defy the queen, in order to help her. And that, right after he reveived a very stern warning himself. Why? I am aware that he is compassionate in comparison to other vampires, but unless his own punishment was like the proverbial straw that broke the camels back, I can't see, why his dedication to the queen would falter now, out of all possible times. The only VERY speculative reason, that I could come up with, is, that Octavia reminded him of his sister in some way. However, since there was no indication of that during their first meeting, I find it not very plausible myself.

Next in line would be Lenora. I realize that she is desperate and that the poison might have clouded her judgement, but going to Thomas was certainly a great risk to take. Unless she knew something, that we don't, it was like potentially walking staight back into the torture chamber, since Thomas is a known agent of the queen. Plus, how did she know, where Thomas' room was in the first place? She was brought to the palace as a prisoner and had spent her time in the dungeon, right?

Her acting like a frightend child while hiding under the bed was just perfect, though. It really gave a good impression, of how scary Hakon is supposed to be. ( Unlike the vanilla Skyrim one.)

Speaking of that leads me back to Thomas: What on earth made him think, that it was a good idea, to give Hakon attitude like that? As far as he knows, Isabella and the good Duke are working together at the moment. Even their children got recently engaged. Yet here he is, p*ssing into Hakon's blood-chalice as much as he possibly can. Is he really angry enough, to abandon all reason and caution? Plus, H.'s restraint during the scene was unexpected too. I was kinda waiting for him to, at the very least, slam Thomas into the nearest wall for his insolence. Like what the late Vasil did a while ago. Sure, doing so may have annoyed the queen somewhat, but Hakon is not really known for his patience and calm temper. Right?

Thomas' attacking the other vampire seemed quite risky too. I would have understood it more, if he would have finished the other guy off. Then there would have only been a pile of ash left. But like this? Why would the now one-armed vampire not tell anyone what had happend? Was his defeat too shameful or something? And why would Thomas count on that?

Lastly, Thomas stated, that they would go to a villa, that the queen herself gifted to him. So, she surely knows about it. Why would that place not be the one, where the queen's or Hakon's men check first for the escaped countess? Who's history with Thomas is well known after all.

To be clear: I enjoyed this chapter. Quite alot actually. But still: I can not remember a single part of this story, that left me with as many questions as this one. Sooo... Things certainly remain interesting and I am very much looking forward to the next entry.?

p.s. Afterthought: Unless, of course, Lenora did not really escape. And the whole thing was a little test, dreamt up by the queen, the duchess and/or (possibly) Hakon to test Thomas' loyalty. Like: Lenora was offered clemency, if she agreed, to test Thomas on behalf of the queen. And with her very survival at stake here, why would she not accept such an offer?

That would, at the very least, explain, how Lenora got out of the dungeon, found her way to Thomas' room and why Hakon did not react violent to Thomas' attitude. Assuming he is in on this (hypothetical) scheme. If so, than T. most likely failed that test by now. And will very soon be persona non grata within the queen's realm. While having a backstabbing Lenora sitting right next to him...

1 hour ago, Jay-Omms said:

Nice work 

Thanks!

1 hour ago, Tirloque said:

If anything, and as ruthless as he can be once he's chosen a course, Thomas is one of the few truly compassionate characters in your story. That alongside his male condition, his henchman role, and conflicting past make him quite a unique protagonist in your world.

Thanks!

1 hour ago, Tirloque said:

I also wonder if there isn't a twist about him in fact knowing where his sister was from the beginning ? 

Yes, the Queen told him and this may be relevant .

1 hour ago, Tirloque said:

For my part, I enjoyed this chapter quite a lot in terms of scenario, as it was rich in dilemmas for Thomas and Octavia, featured some nice tension with Harkon's hide and see sequence, and as said earlier some compassion towards an character no one would've felt obligated towards. Hence an underdog who could use some redemption after having lost the game of power at the Queen's court.

Never really thought of him as a compassioned character, but we actually see him helping and protecting other, weaker characters here. Thanks. Time to tear him down a bit once again in the next entries.

1 hour ago, Tirloque said:

« I remember once you telling me hanging out with Thomas would be a bad idea, as he would very drink all the blood of human gals.

                 I see that wasn't true. Plus now he's got three gals around him instead of one, uh.

                 I very thank you for that non expert advice, Mr Native.  »

 

Let's see what's going to happen next, he's not back in Skyrim yet  .

1 hour ago, HM1919 said:

Alright Alter, I have to admit, that this chapter left me with a great many questions. Usually I can follow the reasons, that motivate your characters, fairly well. But (mostly) Thomas' actions/reactions here were somewhat baffling to me. For example:

- Why does Thomas look so scared in this one?

If you remember the last entry (or the quick reminder) he was left boiling in the sun. He drank some of Octavia's blood, but it wasn't enough yet to completely heal the wound.

Also I like the idea of him looking scared in this entry as it reflects his mental state with all the shit happening to him in the last entries. 

1 hour ago, HM1919 said:

I know, this is right after Octavia told him, that the queen asked for her personally, but why does he care so much all of a sudden? He knows, that servants get killed all the time, yet here he goes so far, as to defy the queen, in order to help her. And that, right after he reveived a very stern warning himself. Why? I am aware that he is compassionate in comparison to other vampires, but unless his own punishment was like the proverbial straw that broke the camels back, I can't see, why his dedication to the queen would falter now, out of all possible times. The only VERY speculative reason, that I could come up with, is, that Octavia reminded him of his sister in some way. However, since there was no indication of that during their first meeting, I find it not very plausible myself.

 

Next in line would be Lenora. I realize that she is desperate and that the poison might have clouded her judgement, but going to Thomas was certainly a great risk to take. Unless she knew something, that we don't, it was like potentially walking staight back into the torture chamber, since Thomas is a known agent of the queen. Plus, how did she know, where Thomas' room was in the first place? She was brought to the palace as a prisoner and had spent her time in the dungeon, right?

Her acting like a frightend child while hiding under the bed was just perfect, though. It really gave a good impression, of how scary Hakon is supposed to be. ( Unlike the vanilla Skyrim one.)

 

Speaking of that leads me back to Thomas: What on earth made him think, that it was a good idea, to give Hakon attitude like that? As far as he knows, Isabella and the good duke are working together at the moment. Even their children got recently engaged. Yet here he is, p*ssing into Hakons blood-chalice as much as he possibly can. Is he really angry enough here, to abandon all reason and caution? Plus, H.'s restraint during the scene was unexpected too. I was kinda waiting for him to, at the very least, slam Thomas into the nearest wall for his insolence. Like what the late Vasil did a while ago. Sure, doing so may have annoyed the queen somewhat, but Hakon is not really known for his patience and calm temper. Right?

 

Thomas' attacking the other vampire seemed quite risky too. I would have understood it more, if he would have finished the other guy off. Then there would have only been a pile of ash left. But like this? Why would the now one-armed vampire not tell anyone what had happend? Was his defeat too shameful or something? And why would Thomas count on that?

Lastly, Thomas stated, that they would go to a villa, that the queen herself gifted to him. So, she surely knows about it. Why would that place not be the one, where the queen's or Hakon's men check first for the escaped countess? Who's history with Thomas is well known after all.

 

To be clear: I enjoyed this chapter. Quite alot actually. But still: I can not remember a single part of this story, that left me with as many questions as this one. Sooo... Things certainly remain interesting and I am very much looking forward to the next entry.?

 

Ok, so in order to understand his position you need to remember what happened to him, Lenora and Vasil as a consequence of Lenora's murder plot. She has been chopped to pieces at the end of chapter 10 was tortured with lasting damages (for vampire standards with silver in her veins now).

Vasil was murdered because it benefited the queen more then killing Lenora even though his guilt did not justify killing him and Thomas himself was made to fight the duel that could have been his death sending a message to the rest of the assembled vampires not to cross the queen. He was then ordered to the queens room, boiled in the sun, just to make a point and show him his place. 
Effectively the governing system is ruled by the "big three" (Queen Isabella, the Duchess and Harkon as they are the only pure bloods left in the realm).
The system is in many ways unjust and in some regards tyrannical and essentially the right of the mighty.  
Of course he understand this, the system/rules of the vampire world are not new for him. He's about as old as Nora, he knows and understands how the world works and usually enforces the queens will.
However he has been on the receiving end for the last entries and was clearly put in his place.
Now after all of this characters could react in different ways to this. One could be extra obedient and submissive, which is what you probably had in mind. Trying not to treat on anyone's feet and keep your head down. 
Lenora for example shows some of this behavior (more on this in future entries).
Or characters could oppose the system and essentially rebel against it/disobey it's rules wherever possible. In reality people are usually somewhere in the middle leaning more towards one side or the other. Thomas in this entry is pretty much working against it and helping characters that suffer/suffered from the injustice.

Yes, you are right he was not supposed to tell Octavia not to enter the queen's bedroom and usually he wouldn't care, but she just helped him out of kindness so repaying her and helping her feels natural. Especially since Thomas always showed a sympathetic approach to human servants (in Nora's castle for example). 

Helping Lenora goes by a similar logic, she is off far worse then him and somehow managed to escape Harkon. He could now just betray her saving his own skin or stand up against the oppression (Harkon) helping her. Even though he has many reason to dislike her (he's in this mess because of her) he stands up to Harkon. It was also shown in the beginning that Thomas and Lenora still have some sort of trust in their relationship with him being the only one coming to her cell before her scheduled execution to say goodbye. 
So yes, it was risky and brave but imo not unreasonable to oppose Harkon.

The last guy coming after them is a problem. Killing him would be the smart choice to avoid repercussions after helping Lenora, but killing him would also be wrong/ a crime so he'd be just as unjust as Harkon or Isabella.
So there is no good solution and he just leaves him wounded on the floor. The arm itself is no problem it'll regrow with enough blood, Lenora also regrow her lower body. 

What happens next, we have to see, but the villa is not what you think it is and Harkon/the Duchess would be the one's tracking Lenora down and they may not know about the place. Lastly the way these vampire parties/orgies go, nobody will be sober for the next nights and they are still in the middle of the assembly so there is enough chaos to use and vanish.

I was waiting for Harkon to toss the bed across the room, or through Thomas hehe. Figuring he would have smelled Lenora under the bed, or at least in the room. Enanced senses and all.  But it was still well done, love your interpretation of Harkon.

Unless he was putting on a show of course....

R

4 hours ago, Alter Native said:

Ok, so in order to understand his position you need to remember what happened to him, Lenora and Vasil as a consequence of Lenora's murder plot. She has been chopped to pieces at the end of chapter 10 was tortured with lasting damages (for vampire standards with silver in her veins now).

Vasil was murdered because it benefited the queen more then killing Lenora even though his guilt did not justify killing him and Thomas himself was made to fight the duel that could have been his death sending a message to the rest of the assembled vampires not to cross the queen. He was then ordered to the queens room, boiled in the sun, just to make a point and show him his place. 
Effectively the governing system is ruled by the "big three" (Queen Isabella, the Duchess and Harkon as they are the only pure bloods left in the realm).
The system is in many ways unjust and in some regards tyrannical and essentially the right of the mighty.  
Of course he understand this, the system/rules of the vampire world are not new for him. He's about as old as Nora, he knows and understands how the world works and usually enforces the queens will.
However he has been on the receiving end for the last entries and was clearly put in his place.
Now after all of this characters could react in different ways to this. One could be extra obedient and submissive, which is what you probably had in mind. Trying not to treat on anyone's feet and keep your head down. 
Lenora for example shows some of this behavior (more on this in future entries).
Or characters could oppose the system and essentially rebel against it/disobey it's rules wherever possible. In reality people are usually somewhere in the middle leaning more towards one side or the other. Thomas in this entry is pretty much working against it and helping characters that suffer/suffered from the injustice.

Yes, you are right he was not supposed to tell Octavia not to enter the queen's bedroom and usually he wouldn't care, but she just helped him out of kindness so repaying her and helping her feels natural. Especially since Thomas always showed a sympathetic approach to human servants (in Nora's castle for example). 

Helping Lenora goes by a similar logic, she is off far worse then him and somehow managed to escape Harkon. He could now just betray her saving his own skin or stand up against the oppression (Harkon) helping her. Even though he has many reason to dislike her (he's in this mess because of her) he stands up to Harkon. It was also shown in the beginning that Thomas and Lenora still have some sort of trust in their relationship with him being the only one coming to her cell before her scheduled execution to say goodbye. 
So yes, it was risky and brave but imo not unreasonable to oppose Harkon.

The last guy coming after them is a problem. Killing him would be the smart choice to avoid repercussions after helping Lenora, but killing him would also be wrong/ a crime so he'd be just as unjust as Harkon or Isabella.
So there is no good solution and he just leaves him wounded on the floor. The arm itself is no problem it'll regrow with enough blood, Lenora also regrow her lower body. 

What happens next, we have to see, but the villa is not what you think it is and Harkon/the Duchess would be the one's tracking Lenora down and they may not know about the place. Lastly the way these vampire parties/orgies go, nobody will be sober for the next nights and they are still in the middle of the assembly so there is enough chaos to use and vanish.

Thank you for the VERY detailed reply. Much appreciated.

I suppose I had some wrong ideas about Thomas. I figured, that, after centuries of service, it would be quite unlikely for him, to side with someone he basically just met. Like Octavia. Against the queen, no less. Regardless of any single act of kindness. If he would have known her for a while, and then would have gotten punished, like he did, then I could have understood it better. As it was, it felt abit sudden. Not impossible, but sudden.

And as far as Hakon is concerned: I can believe, that Thomas would defy him in this situation. I just would have imagined, that he would not make it so obvious. Like: Just remind H., how stupid it would be of Lenora, to come to him of all people. And skip the part, were he basically tells H. to "fetch his own damn escaped prisoners if he wants to ravage them again."

The random vampire dude... I think, I figured Thomas would be hardend enough to do it. To kill the dude, even though it would be murder. And thow this murder atop the pile of things, he has done, that he isn't proud of. I mean, he is risking everything here. So leaving a loose end like this... Risky.

Finally: Now I am really curious, what that villa is going to be.?

p.s. Almost forgot the picture question: I initially figured, that the scared face was Thomas' reaction to being told by Octavia, that the queen had ordered her, to come to her chambers. Since Thomas knows, what would likely happen in there, I expected, that he might react with anger. Because of the injustice. But fear? That's what I could not explain. If his face is ment to reflect his overall mental state rather than just his reaction to Octavia's words, then Ok. I can understand that.

Yay! I finally got to comment on the same day as the entry is posted and not 3 weeks later! ?

On one hand it really does feel like Thomas is showing compassion in these last few chapters (both for Lenora and for Octavia) yet I can't help but wonder how soon will poor Octavia become a snack for a pair of hungry vampires (not necessarily for this duo, but there are bound to be other children of the night in Thomas' villa)  ?.  I noticed a rather touching, but a bit confusing scene with Octavia holding Lenora's hand.  Was that meant to show that the girl feels sorry for the vampire or have those two built a sort of rapport over the time while Lenora was imprisoned?

Loved the fight and how bad*ss Thomas is. Such an interesting contrast for him all in the same chapter : protects two women and at the same time cuts off another vampire's arm (and that's considering that Thomas is probably still pretty weakened from his earlier fight and exposure to sunlight).

The font that you picked for Harkon's dialogue is absolutely awesome! That whole sequence, along with just seeing his words felt really suspenseful. And the fact that he was in his vampire lord form added just the right amount of terror for the scene.

By the way, just curious, was Octavia called over to the queen because her and the Duchess needed the blood to fight off their own sunlight exposure? Or was there something else involved? After all, Octavia was the one assigned to attend to Thomas at the very beginning, and she was also very curious about Lenora and seemed quite well-informed. ?

Wonderful chapter overall. Beautiful and atmospheric, as always.

Thank you for sharing your work with us! ?

Hooray! This is an amazing record, Alternative! Bloody and brutal fight, I'm wondering how they made the effect of a severed hand (separeted mesh?), and all these surrounding vampires, I literally heard him hiss at Octavia! Amazing!

P.S.: And I'm fascinated how Vampire Lords manage to undo their dicks when they do not need one

On 6/5/2022 at 3:58 PM, RamasesII said:

I was waiting for Harkon to toss the bed across the room, or through Thomas hehe. Figuring he would have smelled Lenora under the bed, or at least in the room. Enanced senses and all.  But it was still well done, love your interpretation of Harkon.

 

Unless he was putting on a show of course....

 

R

Yeah technically he could have sensed her with his vampire senses, however it just makes for better, relatable stories when vampires show a bit more human like behavior and don't have godlike senses to listen to every conversation in the building. 

On 6/5/2022 at 5:09 PM, HM1919 said:

Thank you for the VERY detailed reply. Much appreciated.

I suppose I had some wrong ideas about Thomas. I figured, that, after centuries of service, it would be quite unlikely for him, to side with someone he basically just met. Like Octavia. Against the queen, no less. Regardless of any single act of kindness. If he would have known her for a while, and then would have gotten punished, like he did, then I could have understood it better. As it was, it felt abit sudden. Not impossible, but sudden.

As I said it was not really a decision for Ocatavia but against the system that just beat him over and over again. 

On 6/5/2022 at 5:09 PM, HM1919 said:

And as far as Hakon is concerned: I can believe, that Thomas would defy him in this situation. I just would have imagined, that he would not make it so obvious. Like: Just remind H., how stupid it would be of Lenora, to come to him of all people. And skip the part, were he basically tells H. to "fetch his own damn escaped prisoners if he wants to ravage them again."

 

p.s. Almost forgot the picture question: I initially figured, that the scared face was Thomas' reaction to being told by Octavia, that the queen had ordered her, to come to her chambers. Since Thomas knows, what would likely happen in there, I expected, that he might react with anger. Because of the injustice. But fear? That's what I could not explain. If his face is ment to reflect his overall mental state rather than just his reaction to Octavia's words, then Ok. I can understand that.

May explanation was refering to the burns and wounds on his face. The expressions in Skyrim are fairly hard to get right, especially for men. And Thomas in particular is even more emotionless in his expressions.

On 6/6/2022 at 1:59 AM, Devianna said:

On one hand it really does feel like Thomas is showing compassion in these last few chapters (both for Lenora and for Octavia) yet I can't help but wonder how soon will poor Octavia become a snack for a pair of hungry vampires (not necessarily for this duo, but there are bound to be other children of the night in Thomas' villa)  ?.

We haven't seen the last of Octavia 

On 6/6/2022 at 1:59 AM, Devianna said:

I noticed a rather touching, but a bit confusing scene with Octavia holding Lenora's hand.  Was that meant to show that the girl feels sorry for the vampire or have those two built a sort of rapport over the time while Lenora was imprisoned?

As shown in the second entry of this chapter Octavia is fairly new to this whole servant, vampire thing and she behaves with a lot of naivety. She saw Lenora was suffering and scared, so why not show some sympathy?

On 6/6/2022 at 1:59 AM, Devianna said:

By the way, just curious, was Octavia called over to the queen because her and the Duchess needed the blood to fight off their own sunlight exposure? Or was there something else involved?

Basically heal some wounds and give them some blood, cause they are vampires after all  

On 6/6/2022 at 1:59 AM, Devianna said:

After all, Octavia was the one assigned to attend to Thomas at the very beginning, and she was also very curious about Lenora and seemed quite well-informed. ?

She's also a fairly low ranking, new servant so it makes sense to not eat up your best servants. If she was to be executed that would be a typical job for Thomas. (Doing things the queen is not legally allowed to do, but does them anyways.)

On 6/6/2022 at 1:59 AM, Devianna said:

Wonderful chapter overall. Beautiful and atmospheric, as always.

Thank you for sharing your work with us! ?

Thank you very much!

9 hours ago, Crw said:

Hooray! This is an amazing record, Alternative! Bloody and brutal fight, I'm wondering how they made the effect of a severed hand (separeted mesh?), and all these surrounding vampires, I literally heard him hiss at Octavia! Amazing!

P.S.: And I'm fascinated how Vampire Lords manage to undo their dicks when they do not need one

  Reveal hidden contents

 

Thanks!

I was just to lazy to put some dick on him, especially since there are no flaccid versions for vampire lords.

Besides that the scene is farily serious and I didn't want to create any misconceptions about his intentions. 

39 minutes ago, Alter Native said:

Besides that the scene is farily serious and I didn't want to create any misconceptions about his intentions. 

Yeh, it would be pretty ambiguous if he was looking for her with a boner

Great epsiode!

I like this twist of events, not expected this going to happen after all off the things  

I just seculating in my mind: This action from Thomas, must have some consiquencies on him.

If Harkon find out he helped the escape... probably quen isabbelle not too happy to...  this tunr of events.

I feel bead for Thomas i think he's expected life time shortened a great deal, whit this actions. 

I just specualting and chearing  trying figure out what come next...

Wie dieser super Vampire-Lord Harkon in seiner ganzen gruseligen Pracht durch das Zimmer stampft und sein "Spielzeug" sucht -> einfach köstlich

ich habe echt einen Lachkrampf bekommen

danke für diese Slapstick-Einlage

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