Fascinating and visually very beautiful entry.
The flashback part was very sensual, and cruel. And in the endbastard got what he deserved.
Oh, did Nora have a tattoo? 0.о

This was very sad story, but it was good to know some dramatic part of Nora's past. Compliments for good story telling, effects, poses and everything. It was like watching the movie.

20 minutes ago, Crw said:

Fascinating and visually very beautiful entry.
The flashback part was very sensual, and cruel. And in the endbastard got what he deserved.
Oh, did Nora have a tattoo? 0.о

Thanks! I'm not sure I'd call the flashback sensual, but I think I got what you mean  

The tattoo is something she had when growing up in that cave, turned by her father. As I wanted to show that this entry takes place recently after she got turned (within 1-2 years) I decided to give her that drawing again. 

That was the idea, that this is some kind of drawing she copied from a wall in that cave, not really a tattoo that stays forever. It's unlikely though that she was able to paint her own back, so there are some logic gaps... 

Also red haired Nora's tattoo at her belly etc. vanished, I didn't like them anymore, but I didn't want to have her be reborn in blood just to get rid of these tattoo's so they went aways silently. 

14 minutes ago, EvalovesEP said:

This was very sad story, but it was good to know some dramatic part of Nora's past. Compliments for good story telling, effects, poses and everything. It was like watching the movie.

Thank you Eva! I like that little sub story as well, it is kind of a sharp contrast to her luxuries and glamorous life in the main story. It may give you the feeling that she deserved all of this a bit more. 

27 minutes ago, Alter Native said:

Thank you Eva! I like that little sub story as well, it is kind of a sharp contrast to her luxuries and glamorous life in the main story. It may give you the feeling that she deserved all of this a bit more. 

 

 

> I forgot to say that the vampire in sewer pissed me off very much. He didn't want to share a blood with her but he fucked her to satisfy his sexual need. God damn selfish vampire. ?

I sympathized with her regardless of her evil character. We all have dark parts in our past. Some more, some less and we all deserve "justice"

Excellent (and brutal) flashback. Getting to know more of Nora's past helps to understand her current behavior and worldview.  The sequence with the skeever while Nora was being used is absolutely brilliant - there was so much pain and self-loathing and hopelessness in it.

I don't think the romantic build-up was too short. The vampires in your world tend to be more on an impulsive side, so if something feels right they just go for it.  Plus since Nora and Thomas are immortal, they'll have plenty of time to develop their relationship. ?

That being said, I'm a sucker for romantic stories and I'm really looking forward to seeing how this part of the plot unfolds. ?

As always, thank you for sharing your fabulous work with us. ?

"Good enough to get away with" i'm sorry what?! that was really Good! any way it's really nice to see a more vulnerable side to Nora!

Great work Alter Native!

1 hour ago, EvalovesEP said:

> I forgot to say that the vampire in sewer pissed me off very much. He didn't want to share a blood with her but he fucked her to satisfy his sexual need. God damn selfish vampire. ?

I sympathized with her regardless of her evil character. We all have dark parts in our past. Some more, some less and we all deserve "justice"

That's what I was trying to achieve you feel sympathy for an objectify bad person, that was just moments ago about to kill another person. 

1 hour ago, Devianna said:

Excellent (and brutal) flashback. Getting to know more of Nora's past helps to understand her current behavior and worldview.  The sequence with the skeever while Nora was being used is absolutely brilliant - there was so much pain and self-loathing and hopelessness in it.

Thank you! The scene was meant to show exactly that, with focus on her and her emotional state, it wasn't meant to be sexy or anything.

1 hour ago, Devianna said:

I don't think the romantic build-up was too short. The vampires in your world tend to be more on an impulsive side, so if something feels right they just go for it.  Plus since Nora and Thomas are immortal, they'll have plenty of time to develop their relationship. ?

I just think it takes more time to develop an actual romance... there is a difference (especially in my vampire world) to have sex with oneanother and to develop a lasting relationship. But I'm glad the romance comes of as believable an honest.

1 hour ago, Devianna said:

That being said, I'm a sucker for romantic stories and I'm really looking forward to seeing how this part of the plot unfolds. ?

 

As always, thank you for sharing your fabulous work with us. ?

 

Well Thomas is here to stay. Their relationship development won't be the main focus for the upcoming chapters, but there'll definitely be some development over the next chapters. 

20 minutes ago, xGHoSTx said:

"Good enough to get away with" i'm sorry what?! that was really Good! any way it's really nice to see a more vulnerable side to Nora!

Great work Alter Native!

Thank you!

But think about it, in the story they met like a couple of days ago, when Nora had her big party. Three days later they fall in love and two days later they are a couple...

I'm not talking about anything sexual here that doesn't need time, but developing actual romantic feeling does take some (or at least a lot more) time. But thanks, I'm glad people buy their romance.

1 hour ago, Devianna said:

Excellent (and brutal) flashback. Getting to know more of Nora's past helps to understand her current behavior and worldview.  The sequence with the skeever while Nora was being used is absolutely brilliant - there was so much pain and self-loathing and hopelessness in it.

 

I don't think the romantic build-up was too short. The vampires in your world tend to be more on an impulsive side, so if something feels right they just go for it.  Plus since Nora and Thomas are immortal, they'll have plenty of time to develop their relationship. ?

 

That being said, I'm a sucker for romantic stories and I'm really looking forward to seeing how this part of the plot unfolds. ?

 

As always, thank you for sharing your fabulous work with us. ?

 

> I like your comments very much. I wish my English is good as yours so I can express myself better. I just want to compliment your way of thinking and commenting.

Plus, I'm sickly romantic and love nice romantic stories with sex, of course

1 hour ago, EvalovesEP said:

> I like your comments very much. I wish my English is good as yours so I can express myself better. I just want to compliment your way of thinking and commenting.

Plus, I'm sickly romantic and love nice romantic stories with sex, of course

Thank you for your kind words, Eva. The main compliments should go to Alter Native, of course, for creating such wonderful stories that all of us wish to comment on them. ?

P.S. Your English is very good. You shouldn't worry about it. LL is an international community and for many of us here English isn't the first language to begin with (it's my 3d, actually ?).

Wow, I totally dug, hopeless, pathetic Nora! That was great!

Bout damn time Thomas  "came" came to his senses as well ?

Great episode!

That's gooood meng dats really gooood...        What's this uh?

12 hours ago, EvalovesEP said:

> I like your comments very much. I wish my English is good as yours so I can express myself better. I just want to compliment your way of thinking and commenting.

Plus, I'm sickly romantic and love nice romantic stories with sex, of course

Agreed!  @Devianna writes some of the best comments, with a lot of good points and thoughts  . 

3 hours ago, WANOBI12 said:

Wow, I totally dug, hopeless, pathetic Nora! That was great!

Bout damn time Thomas  "came" came to his senses as well ?

Great episode!

Initially I had this as entry 4 but I felt like their relationship needed a bit more time so I added the last entry (Nr. 4) a bit later with the fighting and the talking...

Thanks Wanobi

3 hours ago, Jayomms said:

That's gooood meng dats really gooood...        What's this uh?

She spinning her web here? Is Mephala watching?

Oh....she is....umm.... This situation with Tomas reminds me of how she pulled Eric in away from his wife.....Devious. 

I think she is sincerely happy, but was cleverly making use of the fact that even century old vampires don't know how to react to a crying women.  

Awesome chapter Alter

Now I want to work on more Mileena!

This was a really powerful entry. The emotion with Nora and Eran in the sewers was intense. It's always so interesting to see that side of Nora's past, I love it! Great work!

5 hours ago, Agent Tex said:

Awesome chapter Alter

 

Now I want to work on more Mileena!

Thanks!

Looking forward to see more of Mileena.

18 minutes ago, Collygon said:

This was a really powerful entry. The emotion with Nora and Eran in the sewers was intense. It's always so interesting to see that side of Nora's past, I love it! Great work!

Thanks!  I like the entry as well, it's a bit different then my typical entries, especially due to the emotional part. Glad I could convey what I had in m with that entry. 

Very well done. regardless of her evilness I still felt sorry for Nora. That fucking vampire who used her deserve castration.

Great entry at several levels : first the photography is always as good, and though some sewers textures suffered a bit from close-ups, globally the work on composition, blood and lighting is excellent. Also the ambiance of young vampires being thrown into the world, aimlessly, deprived of education and exposed to manipulation by third-rate ferals was excellently rendered. The sordid aspect of her unlife, hunted and mistreated really makes the reader empathize with Nora... And so did Thomas apparently. Good job !

Malicia : « That's what you get for not being neat and pretty : stinky guys, yes ! Now that she grooms like an expert, she gets the cutest boys around.  »

23 hours ago, Alter Native said:

Well Thomas is here to stay.

Malicia : « That's very good. Though his shirt doesn't needs to stay too, no.  »

9 hours ago, Alter Native said:

Agreed!  @Devianna writes some of the best comments, with a lot of good points and thoughts  .

+1 We were discussing about her with Resdayn ; she's a good reader and often makes quite exact points, with a good degree of insight. 

2 hours ago, Elf Prince said:

Very well done. regardless of her evilness I still felt sorry for Nora. That fucking vampire who used her deserve castration.

Malicia : « You're very right : only bad people deserve have their pee-pees .

6 hours ago, Elf Prince said:

Very well done. regardless of her evilness I still felt sorry for Nora. That fucking vampire who used her deserve castration.

Well... in the end, when he died he protected Nora and saved her life (willing or unwilling). We don't see this directly, but Nora tells us.

3 hours ago, Tirloque said:

Great entry at several levels : first the photography is always as good, and though some sewers textures suffered a bit from close-ups, globally the work on composition, blood and lighting is excellent. Also the ambiance of young vampires being thrown into the world, aimlessly, deprived of education and exposed to manipulation by third-rate ferals was excellently rendered. The sordid aspect of her unlife, hunted and mistreated really makes the reader empathize with Nora... And so did Thomas apparently. Good job !

Thank you very much!

Technically Eran is not a feral, but a lost neonate similar to Nora with a bit more experience in his new dead undead life. 

3 hours ago, Tirloque said:

Malicia : « That's very good. Though his shirt doesn't needs to stay too, no.  »

What I answered to that on the last entry . Also you haven't seen both sides of the coin (yet).

21 hours ago, Tirloque said:

Great entry at several levels : first the photography is always as good, and though some sewers textures suffered a bit from close-ups, globally the work on composition, blood and lighting is excellent. Also the ambiance of young vampires being thrown into the world, aimlessly, deprived of education and exposed to manipulation by third-rate ferals was excellently rendered. The sordid aspect of her unlife, hunted and mistreated really makes the reader empathize with Nora... And so did Thomas apparently. Good job !

 

Malicia : « That's what you get for not being neat and pretty : stinky guys, yes ! Now that she grooms like an expert, she gets the cutest boys around.  »

Malicia : « That's very good. Though his shirt doesn't needs to stay too, no.  »

+1 We were discussing about her with Resdayn ; she's a good reader and often makes quite exact points, with a good degree of insight. 

Malicia : « You're very right : only bad people deserve have their pee-pees .

               

 

 

               

  Reveal hidden contents

»

 

Eva says she has one pair of big scissors for you .

I really liked the flashback part of her early days of vampirism, that was really well done.

Great work ?