Hey, it's me, Destana.  After a year of making the Thieves' Guild great, learning to play Lute better, slaying dragons, raiding forts and 'persuading' them to join the Stormcloaks, attending magic college and having Damien, my son (with a couple months off before and a week off after for me), Ulfric and the gang were ready to raid Solitude.  I decided I would leave Damien with Iona and Sanguine.  He didn't want to get involved this time.  Something about meddling in the affairs of mortals far too much.  (Honestly, I think he was getting bored of Skyrim).

 

So I brought the regular crew:  Inigo, Sofia, Vilja and Shirley.  I want to say it was an epic battle.  It was, of course.  Ultimately, General Tullius fell like so many of his men before him.  It all came down to him and his main guard.  When she said she would fight to the last breath, I had been behind her and slit her throat before the boys could lay into her.  Then Tullius. 

Ulfric nodded to me, "Do you want to do the honors?"

Part of me thought there might have been too much killing these past few months, but I was still on my high horse about doing whatever I wanted. 

"Do it.  I want a clean death," Tullius said, "The harshness of Skyrim has a way of carving a man down to his true self."

"Damn.  This man speaks truth," I said back.

I took out a dagger and stabbed him.  

We walked out into the courtyard and presented the General's body to the amassed people, including Jarl Elisif the Fair.

Galmar shouted, "I present to you, Ulfric Stormcloak, hero of the people, liberator and High King of Skyrim!
"I am indeed Ulfric Stormcloak, and at my side the woman we know as Stormblade, and the world knows as the Dragonborn," Ulfric said.

"Velvet Acid Talos," I muttered, but I held my tongue because I didn't want to interrupt his speech.
"And indeed, there are many that call us heroes. But it is all of you who are the true heroes! It was you who fought a dying Empire who sunk its claws into our land, trying to drag us down with it.  It was you who fought the Thalmor and their puppets who would have us deny our gods and our heritage. It was you who fought your kin who didn't understand our cause, who weren't willing to pay the price of our freedom. But more than that, it was you who fought for Skyrim, for our right to fight our own battles... to return to our glory and traditions, to determine our own future!" Ulfric continued, "And it is for these reasons that I cannot accept the mantle of 'High King.' Not until the Moot declares that title should adorn my shoulders will I accept it.

"I would swear my fealty to you, Jarl Ulfric!" Elisif shouted back.

"You, of course, will remain Jarl of Solitude," Ulfric reponded.  He paused, then continued, "A great darkness is growing, and soon we will be called to fight it, on these shores or abroad.  The Aldmeri Dominion may have defeated the Empire, but it has not...defeated... Skyrim!"  He walked over to us as the crowd cheered.

"I told you not to call me Dragonborn.  It's a silly legend," I said.

"Even so, Stormblade, it's our legend," Galmar said.

"So when are you going to be High King?  What does it take for the moot to meet?" 

"Now, I wait," Ulfric replied.

"Smart call, Ulfric," Galmar nodded, "Letting Elisir keep her life.  You will be High King some day."

"Damn, it was nice having you on this one, Ulfric.  Your shouts are almost as good as mine," I smirked.

"Because you're dragonborn, you cheater," Ulfric replied, "Took me ten years to learn Unrelenting Force."

I chuckled, "Maybe you should join my team in the field someday.  Maybe it's combat experience that made me so damn good."

Ulfric and Galmar laughed.  I counted up my dragon souls in my head.  Nine.  I only have basic shouts though, as I hadn't looked for any more word walls. 

We retired to Windhelm.  I hung out at the Palace of Kings for a few hours, reveling with the Stormcloaks and my group.  But it was a sad revel this day.  I knew this campaign was at an end.  They would stay here, though some would scatter to occupy the holds and keep them from falling back into Imperial rule, and I had my own business to conduct.  Of course, I had one more night with Ulfric for the road, as I knew it might be a while until I saw him again.  I'm strange like that.  I think I like having sex with important and exotic people.  Part of me says it's because of the novelty.  Part of me has a roll of parchment in my pocket and I'm checking off important men (and women) as they come along.

 

I returned to Riften, to find Sanguine on one of his 'business trips.'  I cuddled my baby through the night.  In the morning, I gathered together my group.

Sitting at the table in Honeyside, I said, "You guys.  This last year has been awesome.  And we never thought of a name for our group."

"How about the Dragon..."

"Don't you say it too, Sofia," I growled.

Inigo added, "Fusrodorians!"

"The Fighting Mongooses," Vilja said.

"How about the Stormblade Sentry?" Sofia asked.

"Damn.  For once you said something smart, Sofia.  Okay.  I'll allow it," I said.

"Thanks... hey wait!" She started.

I tossed a fat sack of coins on the table, "This is your final paycheck."

"But why?  You need us!" Sofia said.  Sofia was kind of annoying, and she never shut up.  But she was good in a fight, and really good looking, so I let it slide most of the time.

"I definitely don't.  But I WILL miss you," I replied, "There's no reason for me to roll around with a huge company for the time being.  I promise I'll come call on you again someday."

"You know, we never did my quest," Vilja said.

"Stick around.  I'll pay you to look after Damien.  I promise I will help you with it someday," I smiled.  To be honest, Vilja and I had never really connected.  Maybe it was her vacant eyes and responses that made no godsdamn sense.  

"I will see you again, friend, I know it.  I'll be hanging out in the Riften prison," Inigo said.

"Again with the prison.  You know I'm thane here.  And Whiterun.  We have more than enough money to buy the vacant house in Whiterun and put you up there."

Shirley nodded, "I expected this day would come.  Especially with your new baby.  You deserve a vacation." 

Shirley had always been like a grandma to me.  And extremely durable to boot.

I said goodbye to them and they all went their separate ways.  I told Sanguine later that I'd be going it alone for a little while.  He was okay with that, which I figured.  He always seemed to be the last one in combat.  Immortality has it's drawbacks too I guess.  Though, maybe he'd just revive in Oblivion?

"You know, you're right.  Although we might not see each other again if I die," he explained when I asked him, "It can take days.  Or decades.  Or centuries."

 

Vacation?  Fat chance.  But I was still thinking about where I would go and what I would do.  The Dark Brotherhood didn't seem like they needed me for now.  The Thieves' Guild was great again and they seemed not to need me anymore (all I had left to do at this point was to turn in the Skeleton Key, which I was considering because I'm such a nice person).  I could investigate the Orb for the mages...  Ultimately I decided to do a couple of low-impact jobs to get myself back in the solo-adventuring mood.  I would need to modify my fighting style if I was going to go it alone.  

 

I thought on my skills, and my fallbacks were utter mastery of archery, stealth and lockpicking and my mid-level skill at pickpocketing, one-handed weapons, light armor and shields.  But now I was a mage too.  Illusion was probably my best skill, being good enough to bend minds and make myself invisible (adept+). My destruction was adept at best.  Allies don't like you blowing them up with your enemies.  Conjuration: adept at best, as I usually had enough real meat shields to tank for me.  Restoration was fairly high, seeing as how I spent a lot of time patching up allies.  Alteration was a side skill, and I only had enough for mild conveniences.  And enchanting... what the heck is enchanting?  I'd never spent much time on any of the crafting professions for the same reason Vikings never learned to farm - I usually take such things from my enemies.

 

The first thing I did was explore the tunnels around the Ragged Flagon.  Seemed like a light warmup now that I was... let's say 'unburdened' by pregnancy.  Mostly rats and stray vampires.  I kept my distance and burned/shot them from afar.  But what intrigued me was the reports of ghosts I'd heard about when I first started here.  I delved deeper into the tunnels and found that there were actually ghosts down there.  I made them double dead.  There was a sword there I snagged - Dawnfang.  So I finally got a replacement for Dragon's Oath.

 

Then as I was reading my quest log in the Flagon later that evening, I noticed I have a note about some bandits stealing the Armor of the Crusaders.  I went to get it and blew them up.  Amateurs don't deserve such nice armor.  Let me tell you, it looks hideous on me.  I kept the body piece, with the Nightingale Gloves and Boots.  Helmet?  Are there invisible helmets anywhere?  I went with a Circlet of Archery or Destruction for now.  

 

Then I returned the Skeleton Key.  I returned to my baby and did things mothers do with their babies.  In the morning, I returned to the Flagon.  Brynjolf said he wanted to see me, now that I finally returned it.

"So you've finally decided to return the thing that was cursing us to begin with," Brynjolf smirked as I approached.

"Nocturnal and I had an arrangement," I said, which may or may not have been a lie.  I mean, I did pray to her sometimes when I was about to steal things, and I kept praying to her to tell her I was going to return it when the guild reached this point.  And now I'd fulfilled my end of the bargain.

Brynjolf continued, "Well, my friend... the time's come to make it official. It's time to become our Guild Master. Don't worry, I promise this will be short and sweet. If you'll just meet us in the center of the cistern room, we can begin."

I walked to the center of the cistern and all the many members of the guild surrounded me.  The inner circle, Vex, Delvin, Karliah and Brynjolf were in the inner ring, with everyone else in the outer ring.

Brynjolf started, "Look, I've never been good at these things, so I'm just going to keep it short. Being Guild Master means more than just getting a cut of all the loot, it's about being a leader and keeping this rabble in order. With that in mind, I propose that the position of Guild Master should be yours. Delvin?"
"Agreed."
"Vex?"
"Sure, why not," she replied.
"Karliah?" Brynjolf continued.
"Absolutely."
"Everyone is in agreement, so all I can do now is name you Guild Master and wish you good fortune and long life," Brynjolf smiled.  He handed me a key and a necklace while Tonilia stepped up to hand me Guild Master's armor, "And..."

"And?"

"And we have a little treat set up for you," he continued.

"Treat?" I smiled, not sure if they were about to all knife me in the back or give me a chest of gold.

But when all of them started to take their clothes off, it became clear what was going on.

"You're the cumdump, right?" Vex snickered.

"One last go-around before we have to call you boss," Delvin smiled at me.  

I instinctively pulled my armor off, "You know that position is still going to be okay by me, right?"

That was a long day.  I don't know if you know this, but because of my 'vigorous' recruitment (and of course, a lot by some of the higher ups) the guild has over thirty members.  And they all got their turn.  Afterward, I felt like I needed a bath, possibly a Skooma, and a priest.  I retired to Honeysideto snuggle up with Sanguine after a thorough scrubbing.  And... it'd been a few days since I'd seen him so we had sex too.  But in the morning.  With all that, I took a few days before I went adventuring again.  I talked to Brynjolf and we decided he was going to be the front man.  I was more the planning guy who collected earnings.  I think I'd stolen everything possible from Skyrim - at this point the Ragged Flagon was much less ragged, and was lit up with opulence, with fence shops like a black market.  Though, it was still in the sewers.

 

Speaking of priests, I decided I would go get Mara's blessing after that display.  You can't be too careful.  Maybe go figure out what is with the Dibellan Priestesses at some point.  I walked into the church to find nobody there, so I sat and waited, realizing I'd gotten up early in the morning.  

"Ah, greetings Thane," Dinya smiled, tidying up around the shrine.

"What's that altar there?"

"He calls himself Dudestia.  A small, cult following.  Apparently, not one of the big divines.  More like a friend of Mara, I guess," Dinya said, "Have you met our new priests?"

I shook my head.

"One of them is from Nyhus, along the Cyrodiil border.  Have you ever been to Cyrodiil?"

I shook my head again, "Can't say I have.  I've been thinking about getting away for a while.  I certainly have the money to take a trip to Cyrodiil, or Elswyer.  Maybe just a jaunt to Bruma."

"What about Hammerfell?" She asked, turning to me.

"Hmm..." I thought, "Maybe someday.  But there's not really anything for me there now."

I looked up at the sun, and down at my now leaking boobs.

"Blah.  Time to nurse again.  Damien's probably up by now.  Sorry, gotta go," I stood and walked towards the door.

"Beautiful motherhood," she said, "I look forward to our next meeting."

I opened the door.

"Oh, and congratulations!" Dinya said as I was leaving.  

I froze, then turned around.  She didn't know I was Thieves' Guild Master.  She probably didn't know I was one of the leaders of the Stormcloak rebellion.  I mean... I had Damien nearly a month ago.  Maybe it was that?

"Congratulations for what?" I asked finally.

"Oh, you don't know?" She asked.

I blinked, "I must be in some kind of deja vu level of Oblivion.  Is this really happening again?"

Dinya blinked, "It seems as though it is.  You're pregnant again."

"...Shut up.  You're not serious,"  I'm sure my face contorted into something that looked like rage, but then I calmed and turned to look at her.

I walked back over, "Okay.  Okay.  Could you do the test, and just like before..."

"You want to know who the father is?" Dinya asked.

".....Yes," I said, a little embarrassed, though I don't really know why.

She closed her eyes, and focused for a few seconds, "Ulfric Stormcloak."

I pursed my lips, stood, and started to walk out.  I turned back towards her, said nothing, then walked out.  

"Congratulations!" Maramal emerged from the back just in time to shout.  I guess he'd been eavesdropping.

"Shut the fuck..." The door slammed that'd been shutting behind me.  I took a deep breath.  I wondered how Sanguine was going to take this.  I imagined, probably alright.  One of the byproducts of so much debauchery was children.

I walked in to Honeyside and sat at the dining table.  Sanguine emerged from whatever he'd been doing downstairs and handed me Damien, which I popped on my boob.

"Hey, can I tell you something disturbing and somewhat incriminating?"

"Dear, you are a criminal.  And I assure you I cannot be disturbed," he sat down opposite me.

"I'm pregnant again," I said.

"I figured it'd happen sooner or later, because we never use protection.  So damning," he chuckled.

"It's not yours," I said.

He looked at me silently for a few seconds, then he smiled again, "I was just pausing so you'd get the worst anxiety about my answer."

He laughed, "I also figured that would happen too."

"Not mad, are you?"

He took my hands, "We both entered into this knowing the other wasn't going to be exclusive.  Why the hell would I be mad?  Would it surprise you to know I've fucked probably over a million people in my time?"

"Just how old are you, anyway?"

"I dunno.  What is time, even?  If you want to get technical, I'm et'Ada, a spirit who has been around since the beginning. I vaguely remember the First Era, the Merethic, Dawn and before.  Though understanding and reality wasn't what it now is," Sanguine replied.

"That's a very cerebral answer," I smiled.  I knew he wouldn't be mad.  It did make me feel small, though.  I always knew I was merely a blip in the infinity of his immortality.  This made me sad.  But, after I thought about it, it made me feel a little happier.  The most beautiful flower only blooms for a short time.  

"Hey, you asked," he smiled, "Are you going to be just as rough on yourself during this pregnancy as the last time?"

"I think," I started, "I'm going to check out what's going on with Helgen.  But that's it.  I'll keep attending classes and getting better with magic."

"Say, dear," Sanguine said.

"Yes?"

"This might sound out of left field."

"What is it?"

"Do you want to adopt a child?"

"Well... why?"  

"There's a young girl down at Honorhall that's been there since adoptions started.  I walk around town sometimes and I notice her, looking sad.  Almost all the original orphans from when you murdered that old crone have already been adopted.  What do you think?"

"I think..." I was going to say he doesn't always think his decisions through.  But then instead I said, "Alright, sure.  Iona, think you can take care of another couple kids?"

Iona stepped in, "I am your sword AND your shield."

Sanguine and I looked at each other.  Crippling social anxiety makes her say random phrases?

"I think, also, we should find a bigger house," Sanguine put his feet up on the table.

I nodded, taking a couple of Skyrim Guidebooks off the shelves and flipping through them on the table.

"Says here there's a plot available in northern Skyrim," I said, "That's right next to that abandoned shack the Dark Brotherhood kidnapped me in.  Could provide easy access when I start working with them again."

"What hold?" Sanguine asked.

"Ugh," I cringed, "Solitude.  I HATE Solitude.  But the location is so good.  It's right next to the Sea of Ghosts.  And we can design it.  Ugh... Solitude.  I guess I'll work on that.  But that will be all for this pregnancy.  Maybe if I figure out a better telekinesis spell I can help build it without moving a muscle."

Sanguine laughed.  I guess I was going to Solitude to do some more 'public service.'  But first I would stop off in Windhelm to break the news to Ulfric.  I technically could marry two people, due to the new Tenets of Dudestia, but I didn't really want to marry Ulfric.  Our relationship was more casual than that.  We were friends; war buddies.  The sex was convenient.  

 

When I arrived, he was brooding on his throne, and I was thinking on what I would say.  It'd only been weeks since I saw him, and he seemed not to have made a single move; politically or otherwise, but it seemed like it'd been a while for me.  I stood in the doorway, thinking about what was going to happen.