Hey, it's me, Destana.  After my second trip to Solitude, I felt like I could take on all of Nirn.  I figured I could scope out Windhelm, do a smaller amount of crime, and go back to Riften and finally get somewhere with the Thieves' Guild.

 

I cut straight through the wilderness, as is my way.  You know, nature is beautiful.  The peace.  The solitude.  Miles away from civilization.  Nobody to tell you you're wrong.  Nobody can find you.  I remember being on a cliff in a forest somewhere outside of Windhelm when a hand appeared on my shoulder.

"I've been looking for you," the man said.

"Talos!" I shouted as an expletive, turning and putting my hands on my weapons, "Who are you?  How did you find me?!"

"Got something I'm supposed to deliver - your hands only," the man said.

"How the..." I stood there puzzled, "Are you a bounty hunter?"

"I just told you I'm a courier," he mumbled, "Let's see here..." 

"I've got a letter and a lot of gold. Something about it being your inheritance? Oh, and... sorry for your loss," he handed over the letter.

 

I took it.  While he walked away, I stared at him, at the letter, and back to him.

"....What??" I said to myself.

I ripped open the letter. 

It read, 'Destana, by order of Jarl Balgruuf the Greater it is with great regret we inform you of Octava San's death.  The deceased bequeathed unto you a measure of inheritance in the amount of 250 gold pieces....'  Blah blah blah, I trailed off as I read.

"But how in the hell did this courier find me, and know who I was.  And why would my former owner bequeath such a large amount of gold to me?"  I said out loud.  I was a nobody.  Clearly the Courier was a master tracker and real hunters and guards could learn something from him.  Also, it was nice that Octava gave me this money.  I looked at it in my hand.  Being an adventurer, it was logical she had a will.  I felt myself wondering if she had a family, or a home, or someone to love.  Why throw your life away in a life like this?  I mean, I'm doing it, even now that I have a place to live.  So, I can't really say much about it.

 

I walked down the road a few more miles, nearly there now.  Coming to the top of another hill, I found an Orc standing there.

"You... you a bandit or something?" I asked.  Damn, I probably should've snuck up on him or shot him with an arrow or something.

"I am waiting for a good death."

"I can respect that, I guess.  What do you mean by a good death?"

"If I just laid down and died, it wouldn't please Malacath."

"Okay,"  I smiled a little.  I immediately liked this guy, "I can understand the want to die honorably.  Maybe I can help you.  Give you your good death."

"We shall see," he smiled.

"Before that though, want to feel the touch of a woman one more time?" I smiled big now.

His eyebrow raised a little, "Why not.  You're pretty good looking."

"Only pretty?"

He chuckled.  It was easy.  Immediate alchemy between us.  We smiled at each other, taking off our clothes quickly.  He picked me up and held onto me as he thrusted.  I felt like I needed rehabilitation from my experiences with prison and slavery.  And that was it.  Good sex.  Good love.  We redressed.

"Now how do you want to do this?" I smiled as I drew my sword and dagger.

"Help!" A woman screamed nearby, down the hill.  We rushed toward the commotion.  Two bears, baring down on a traveling wench and her bodyguard.  The 'old' orc rushed in first, me switching to my bow.  As he fought out in front I lodged arrow after arrow in the bears.  I was amazed at how much punishment he could take.  We finished off the bears. 

"Thank you.  You saved our lives," the wench said, continuing on her journey.

 

I squinted at the orc.  Had he not let his life be taken because he wanted to protect us?  Was he just too much of a badass to be taken down by a few measly bears?  He was slowly walking up the hill now while the ladies walked down.  I approached the Orc silently, stabbing him in the back.  Sorry, I never said I was honorable.  He fought bears and sabre cats recently, he was slashed up as hell.  Seemed pretty good to me.  He fell to the ground.  I stabbed his sword in the dirt.  I wonder if Orcs have any sort of rules for being buried to make it to the afterlife?

 

I continued toward my goal, finally reaching the gates of Windhelm after a couple days of travel.  I immediately found two nords accosting a dunmer as the sun set.  Accusing her of being an imperial spy.  

Not really my problem.  First thing, my job.  I pulled the massive tome that was my rapidly filling quest log and book of maps from my backpack and slammed it down on a stone outcropping.  I always wondered if carrying this thing was going to give me back pain later in life, but I assumed my big boobs just offset the difference, altogether giving me strong meaty legs.  My target:  Stands-In-Shallows.  Steal a ring from him.  Okay, sure.  I looked at the map of Windhelm, and it made sense that he would be at the Argonian Assemblage, that name being distinctly Argonian.  I walked down to the docks.  Passing through the seedy part of town where all the non-Nords lived, I started to wonder if all Skyrim was just as cruel as Solitude.  Maybe the Jailer made his rounds here too.  I took out a big, thick quill and scribbled on the first page of my quest log "Kill the fucking Jailer."  Then I closed it again.  I went through the motions, as always.  Go in the door.  Sneak.  Walk up behind target.  Take thing out of pocket.  Be tempted by other stuff in pockets.  Today, decided not to press my luck.  Now that job is done, look around for anything valuable.  This time I didn't find anything.  Nothing worth taking.  These people must be really bad off.  

 

I decided to stroll around, even though it was getting late.  Beside a locked shop I spied an interesting sign, 'Pit Fighters Guild.'  Interested in more ways to make money, and finding it one of the few places not closed in these parts, I stepped in and down a set of stairs.

A man rested against the doorway, one of his eyes white after having been slashed through or somehow destroyed from some old war or battle, "Come here to mock us or do you want to fight in the pits?"

I shrugged, "Why not.  Does it pay?"

"Of course.  Talk to Sirollus."

Inside the few members of the pit fighting guild were training with dummies, shooting archery targets, some were sleeping or having a late evening meal.

I turned the corner to find an imperial sitting at a desk, "Come to join the last vestiges of the paladins?"

I nodded.

"Very well.  Talk to Gerich when you're ready to fight," he pointed to the man who'd greeted me at the door.

I turned and there he was.  

"No fights scheduled at the moment.  I'm going to sleep," Gerich said.  When I turned I realized everybody had gotten in their beds and was now asleep.  I squinted.  These people make this so easy.  Even Sirollus was now fast asleep after only a couple minutes.  I looked at the full coin purse on the table where he'd addressed me originally.  'Hmmm...' I thought, 'the people here don't seem to be doing too well.'  I decided against what I was thinking.

 

I walked out.  Maybe they'll be more lively next time I stop by.  I turned to find a beggar (maybe a little older than me, not old or haggard) named Angrenor.

"Here," I reached out my hand, "Have a septim."

"Oh thank you," he responded.  You know, there's a real problem in this province.  On that cold night, I thought to myself one day I may be in a position to do something about it.  But not that day.  From there I wandered around for a bit.  Happy to be out of the gray quarter with all the muck and sadness, I went about picking locks and stealing valuables.  This time, without any kind of contract.  I just like stealing.  Not from the gray quarter people of course, from the other side of town.  After not getting caught yet again for a couple hours, I found myself on a bridge.

A child said, "Then it's true.  Aventus Aretino is performing the Black Sacrament to summon the Dark Brotherhood?"

Idesi, a dunmer woman responded, "Nonsense.  He's doing no such thing."

"Then I'll invite him out to play," the kid said.

I didn't approach.  I didn't even listen to their conversation further.  Rather, I decided this was a good time to look into the nearby house. 

Again, barely locked.

"Sweet mother, sweet mother..." A child's voice came from within.

I remember some of the kids in my neighborhood playing such games, wishing death on some of the more nasty adults.  I stepped inside to find... in shock, the child had actually drawn a huge symbol on the ground, had a human skeleton and ... was that meat human?  Where does a child get -

"Finally!  I knew you'd come!" 

"Uhh..." I smiled weakly.

"Now that you're here, you can fulfill the contract!"

"Contract?"

"My mother, she died.  I was at the orphanage in Riften.  I want you to kill that horrible matron.  Grelod the Kind.  She's cruel and evil."

"Uhh... sure kid," I smiled again weakly, backing slowly out the door.  As soon as I shut the door behind me I thought about it.  Why would I kill the matron of an orphanage.  Surely, this kid was exaggerating.  Probably a spoiled child by the look of his house.  The Dark Brotherhood is bad news.  But are they real?  I was never really sure about that.  Best not tempt fate.  And I only usually murder if I have a good reason.

 

Having had enough of robbing for the day, I decided I would go to the Gnisis Cornerclub.  Unfortunately, this didn't seem to actually be an Inn, so I went to Candlehearth Hall instead.  Realizing I still had the Lute in my pack, I said to the bar wench, "I'd like to play here."

"Sure," she said.  I strummed a little bit on rhythm and people loved it.  People got dancing.  They gave me a few coins, and a free room.  So, I guess I'm a bard now.  I'll need to actually practice as I travel and get better at this.  Not the worst sidejob I've had.  And, because I was a little lonely, I made a friend in the Hall.  'Friend' is a little strong.  Acquaintance who I let put his penis in me is more apt. 

 

In the morning, I went back to the Pit Fighter's Guild, who now had a fight for me in Windhelm.  I signed up, practicing my stealth and fighting tactics until it was time.  Later that morning, I stepped out onto a small, shabby arena with nary a soul watching me.  It wasn't too hard.  I had to kill a skeever; which I've been doing since I took that exterminator job back in Hammerfell, a wolf; who'd I'd killed a couple of in the wild.  But then, a troll.  I did my usual dance, crouching behind an object, waited for him to come out and I stabbed him with my sword and dagger combo.  The Dragon's Oath burned him a little, but this one hit back!  He slugged me in my side with his fists and I backed off.  This would be harder than the basic animals.  I took a swing and backed off when he swung back.  This tactic worked a few times and I figured I'd have this in the bag before long.  Then I noticed his wounds were closing - quickly.  I sighed, taking out my bow as I strafed him around a couple things.  When he finally closed the distance again I laid into him with sword and dagger, thinking I would overcome his regeneration with swift damage.    Finally I got the upper hand and I sliced him across the belly, spilling his intestines on the ground.  He dropped, and I sighed in relief, feeling pretty hurt at this point.  I casted the basic healing spell I'd learned from perusing random books as we walked back to the Pit Fighter's HQ, then collected my winnings.

 

"50 gold?  Really?" I sighed.  If this is how honest people make their living count me out.  I almost died.  I walked out of there right away.  This would not entice me again until I was waaaay better at combat.  

 

Lastly, I walked up to the Hall of Kings.  The guards didn't have any problem with me walking right in.  Maybe 'adventurers like me' were often seen walking through these doors.  Or maybe the stories that Ulfric shouted High King Torygg to death were true and he didn't need a big guard retinue.  A long hall opened before me.  Ulfric Stormcloak sat on a throne, flanked by his steward and a warrior in a wolf hood, Galmar.  They stared at each other, like they'd just finished a heated discussion about tactics, or politics, or somesuch meaningful banter.  As I approached, Ulfric said, "You're a brave one, approaching a Jarl uninvited.  What do you want?"

I cleared my throat.  I wasn't always the confident person I am now about speaking with high ranking people.  After all, I'd spent some time in dungeons because of people like him, "I came here to join your cause.  I don't like the Empire.  I hate the Thalmor."

"Why would a Redguard want to fight with Nords?" Galmar asked.

"See, that's what gives me pause.  I'm not just a 'Redguard.'  My name is Destana.  I live in Skyrim, for the time being anyway.  I like Nords.  They're a proud warrior people.  I think you have a huge untapped resource in your lands of the Dunmer, Bosmer, Redguards, and everybody else who'd want to live in a free Skyrim.  Or, at the very least, hate the Thalmor and want to kill the lot of them.  I'm one of Talos' biggest fans and I want to see him worshipped, so if you'll have me, I would fight for you."

A smirk crept onto Ulfric's face, "Destana, eh?  Galmar.  Test her.  I want this one in our ranks, but she's got to show us more than convincing words."

Galmar muttered something about 'Imperial spies,' then he said, "Alright.  Take these.  Go to Serpentstone Isle.  Kill an Ice Wraith."

I squinted at him as I took the frost resist potions, "Do all your recruits have to do jobs like this?"

"Just you," Galmar chuckled.

"Right," I said, "I'll do it."  And I stormed out of there.

 

Of course, I definitely was in no shape to make that journey yet.  I would go back to Riften and build up my skills for a while with more Thief work. 

 

"Oi, Vex, you know whatever happened to that cheeky new recruit we sent on all those crazy jobs?" Delvin asked.

"Well, I've pretty much given up on the lass doing the beehive job.  Need to find someone else willing to do it.  Vex?" Brynjolf kicked his feet up on the table.

"No way.  Tried it once.  Not going again," Vex shook her head, "You think maybe we were too hard on her?"

Delvin blinked, "I don't think I've even seen you show any such compassion."

And then I approached the table they were all sitting around next to the bar at the Ragged Flagon.  I set down gold, jewels, precious objects on the table between them.

"Wow," Brynjolf grinned.  All the thieves guild in the flagon gathered around.

"You owe me 200 gold," Tonilia said to Vex as she approached, "She came back."

"I didn't do all the jobs.  But I did most of them.  Also, I need a fence," I said, pulling the Imperial Dragon Cuirass over my head and laying it in front of Tonilia, as well as the Gauntlets, Boots, and all the random things I'd stolen.  I'd left myself naked above the waist, but I didn't care.

"Talos!  This is a king's ransom!  Where did you steal it from?" Brynjolf asked.

"All over," I replied.

"Oi, are those scars new?" Delvin asked.

"Yes," I said, "Also, could I get another set of Thieves' Guild armor?"

Tonilia smirked, "It's going to take me a couple of days to fence all this.  If you don't mind waiting, I can get you a new set of armor in the meantime."

I nodded, sliding those clothes on that I'd stolen from the farmer, "I'm going to sleep for... a few days."

I walked to the small bunkroom and immediately collapsed on the bed to the right.  It was midday, but I slept all the way until the next morning.  I went and got my armor from Tonilia and went back to bed for another day.

 

The night of the third day, I was awoken by the sounds of conjuration magic.  I flipped in the bed to look at him, a man standing over my bed in bound armor and greatsword.  

"You here for me?" I shouted, hands on weapons.  I'd slept with them at my side, remembering the mentions of bounty hunters.

"Pay your fine or come with me to jail," the bounty hunter said.

"How did you find me?"

"If you can't tell, I'm a spellcaster.  A simple locate spell," he showed a toothy grin, "And I followed the smell."

I would need to look into learning more about magic later.  The first thing I did was leap from the bed, pulling my weapons with me and dart into the next room.  I ran down the hall and into the flagon where, as it was midday, a half a dozen thieves were relaxing around the bar and tables.

The quick ones could see my astonishment as I drew my bow and rounded.  The hunter hadn't immediately gave chase.  Instead, I heard more sounds of conjuration.  Arius the bounty clearer, Vex, Delvin and Tonilia were on their feet at once, drawing weapons (the barmaid merely stood, perplexed).  Three bounty hunters and entire guild of thieves met at the crossroads by the door to the Cistern.  I could already hear their weapons clashing.  I drew an arrow and shot into the fray, then a couple more, but it proved hard to hit my targets as they dodged and thrusted at their opponents.  I decided to drop the bow and charge into the fray.  

Brynjolf and Ra'skaar (the new fence) emerged from the other bunkroom, flanking and then dividing the bounty hunter boss from his two companions.  I crouched, bided my time and as soon as Delvin and Vex had hunter 2 occupied I came up behind him and jammed sword and dagger into his back, lifting him off the ground a little.  His bound armor vanished and he fell to the ground.  Soon Galathiel the face changer stepped in to support Tonilia and Vekel with magic as they continued their fight with hunter 3.  This one wasn't going to let me get the drop on him, but at the point it was six on one.  He got a staggering blow off on Vekel, knocking him down, but the group's continued onslaught brought him down.  Vekel and Tonilia embraced as their opponent's armor vanished and he crumpled.

 

Finally I joined the defenders (Brynjolf and Ra'skaar) in the big bunkroom along with Methridel, a woman I'd never seen before.  Ra'skaar fell to the ground as we entered and Bryn looked pretty bad.  (Seriously, who are these guys?)  I took out my bow and shot the hunter a couple times while Methridel fought, and he seemed to be casting a quick restoration spell to heal himself, but soon the rest of the thieves poured into the room, dogpiling on the bounty hunter and eviscerating him.  

 

I sat on the floor against a wall as we all caught our breath.  It took a dozen people to beat those guys.  After a second I realized I'd been hyperventilating about the prospect of going back to prison.

"I would be toast without you guys," I said finally.

"Mess with a guild member, mess with us all," Delvin nodded, "Curse be damned."

Brynjolf helped me up, "All eyes are on you, lass.  Best get to that job."

There was a great cheer and they all walked back towards the flagon to get hammered.  I checked the packs of the now naked hunters.  Blah, probably all conjured stuff.

"Wow," I said, pulling Stalhrim and Ebony Arrows, hundreds of gold and for some reason, about thirty pounds of sweet treats out of their packs, as well as some decent spell tomes.

 

I sighed in relief.  For certain, this was the point when I decided it was Thieves' Guild for life.  Next:  Goldenglow Estate and Whiterun!