Hey, it's me.  Destana.  Ever had a life-changing experience that basically told you to keep doing what you're doing but gave you a purpose?  I had that last time.  I would go find a way to contact Sanguine again in the future, but for now, it was time to return to the guild.

 

I walked through the gates and to the Bee and Barb.  Maven accepted the papers, but it didn't give us a lead as to who was trying to buy the meadery.  My reward: an Orcish Dagger of Freezing.  I grinned.  This would pair well with Dragon's Oath on my main hand.  Fire and Ice.  I went through the front entrance to the sewers to the flagon.

 

"You!  Stop right there!" A man shouted.  

"Uh what?"

"Pay us a toll or get gutted!" Another man brandished an axe.  

"I'm with the guild," I said, realizing I'd been going through the grave or the grate by the stables every time I came through here except for the first time.  The bridge was now raised and these men were threatening me, "You guys were so nice a couple months ago when I came through here."

"Oh, it's you," they put their weapons away, "Want us to lower the bridge?"

"It's okay.  I'll go through the graveyard," I backtracked up to the city again, and immediately got plugged by an arrow.  

"What the..." I reflexively crouched behind the railing.  I looked over to who had been shooting me.  Dawnguard?

"I'm not a vampire!" I shouted, but the man said nothing, reloading what I realized was a crossbow.  I peered over to the guards, who seemed to be either not paying attention or waiting to see how this played out.  I dashed for the graveyard and slammed the gate behind me.  

I narrowed my eyes, "No, I'm not going to take this."  

I turned and opened the gate, shot at him with an Elven Bow and arrow combination.  When he fired back, I'd swung the gate closed again.

"You're a bitch!" I shouted, "Shouldn't have attacked me!" I swung the gate open again and let loose another arrow, then shut it as he fired back.  Finally, he went around the other side and shot at me from behind.  I used terrain to my advantage to get close to him, took out my fire and ice combo while he took out his waraxe.  I used a death by a thousand cuts strategy as he tired himself out only doing power attacks until he showed signs that his poise was running out, then I moved in and double-slashed him across the chest.  I searched his person.  

"I wonder why this is a thing...?" I found no note on him, or anything strange.  Maybe he thought I was a vamp or something?  Well, anyway, free crossbow, and some steel bolts.  Having never seen anyone carrying either of these, I knew I'd have to save them.

 

Anyway... I went down the graveyard entrance and took a much needed nap (accommodating as he was, Sanguine's realm wasn't all that comfortable).  

When I walked out to the bar in the flagon, it was after midnight.  I fenced some things with Tonilia (who was up unusually late) and then decided I would poke around.  I went into the large bunkroom, thinking I might find Brynjolf in here, though when I got there I realized he was probably sleeping in the Cistern - if he was sleeping.  Only one person was actually asleep here. Vex.  I walked over to her.  

 

I bit my lip.  I was thinking about the cockamamie job she and Delvin put me through.  I scratched my chin as I looked on her.  What would Sanguine do(WWSD)?  Spread debauchery.  I gently pulled her pants off and went down, trying to pleasure her into not wanting to resist before she fully woke up.  By the time her eyes were open, she was moaning, it was dark, and she didn't seem to mind it.  Once we got into it we both pulled our clothes off and I flipped over and rubbed mine against hers.  When we both finished, she said, "I was going to teach you this one anyway.  Seducing women and stealing from them while they're occupied."  She laid back down and passed out.  Had she realized I'd stolen her Guild Master Boots off the floor when I sped out of there?  She never mentioned it again, so, I guess not?  I'm the one getting my feet wet and my hands dirty all the time.  

 

I went over to the cistern then.  Mercer accepted the news with a bit of anger, and then told me next I would be going to Solitude to shake down the guy who he thinks is responsible.  Ugh... Solitude.  I headed over to the bar in the flagon to accept all Vex and Delvin's quests again, this time it seemed free from funny business.  

"Oi," Delvin said, pointing to the seat across from him, "Want to practice your seduction skills?"  

I sat, "What do you mean?"

"When you're sucking a man's cock, he'll be hard-pressed to notice you're taking his coinpurse.  If you handle the coinpurse correctly that is."

I smirked, "Been talking to Vex?"

"Always," he sneered back, "You had a go with her, how about me?"

"Alright," I said.  I led him to the bunkroom and gave him a blowjob.  He complimented me on my skills.  When we came back to the bar, though, I blinked.  Half the people had paired off and were having sex now.  Vekel and Vex, Ethelinda (the barmaid) and Dirge, Tonilia and Arius.  Sanguine, was this your doing?  I smiled.  When Vex came up from fucking she said to me, "So, how about it?"

"How... about what?" I asked, puzzled.

"I heard you wanted to be the guild's cumdump."

I nearly immediately said no.  Then I opened my mouth and said, "Yes, I want to be the cumdump for the guild.  Let all the members or associates fuck me."

"Well, I guess that's possible.  If you know what you're getting into," she smiled, "You just go on your next mission and when you get back, I'll have let everyone know."

I blinked.  I... didn't mean to say that.  But I felt almost like it was the only thing I *could've* said.  Strangely, I didn't correct her.  I just turned around, bought some food and drink from still naked Vekel, fenced the rest of my goods with Tonilia (I often have to split this up because I am kindof a kleptomanic packrat), shelled out more than a thousand gold to Arius (Ugh, just take the money) to clear my bounty from Solitude, then climbed out the grate by the stables.  

 

I tried not to think about what I had just done.

 

When I arrived in Solitude, I decided not to waste time and went right to my target.  He was sitting in an alcove, away from prying eyes.

"Let me guess, by your smell you're from the guild," Gulum-Ei said.

"I'm here about Goldenglow," I said.

"Don't know what you're talking about," he said.

"You can drop the act, Gulum Ei," I said.

"Oh, wait... did you say Goldenglow Estate? My apologies. I'm sorry to say I know very little about that... bee farm, was it?" He asked.

"You acted as a broker for its new owner."

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. I can't be expected to remember every deal I handle."

"Identify the buyer and we'll forget what we know," I said.

"No way.  I'm keeping my hands clean," he replied.  Dammit.

"Give me the buyer's name or I'll kill you," I gritted my teeth.

"Hasn't Mercer Frey taught you people anything? You kill me and your only contact with the East Empire Company vanishes. That's not smart for business."

Talos' bones!  Either I need more training in persuasion or this guy isn't going to budge.  I sighed.  My jaw is getting tired.

I leaned forward, letting my breasts dangle even in the Thieves' Guild armor and rubbed the front of his trousers with my hand, "Nobody needs to know what you told me."

"I'm not telling you..." He groaned a little as I took the dick out of his trousers and started to lick it.

I was quick, and we weren't seen.  When I was done he said, "Well now that I'm satisfied, I bid you good day."  He stood and started to walk off.  I swallowed the load, my face contorting with rage.  I put my hands on my weapons, but a little voice in my head said, 'If you kill him, you won't get anywhere.'

I nodded to the voice, realizing I could just follow him.  I took a deep breath and crept out at a safe distance.

 

I followed to the East Empire Warehouse, which I expected.  I wasn't sure if he knew he was being followed, but this just got a lot harder.  As he went deeper into the Warehouse, I noted they seemed to have a lot of guards.  I climbed up onto a platform as I watched Gulum-Ei, and when he passed by a guard passed by the other way.  I waited a minute, then dropped and slit that one's throat.  Hey, danger in the line of duty.  If you're put off by random murder, then there's plenty more where that came from.  I crept forward, walking up stairs to the side (to check if there were guards watching from up above) and I found a sleeping loft.  One guy asleep.  Well, it had taken me all day and half the night to get here so it was night-time again.  I crept past him to find a man sitting at a table, counting money with his back to me.  I walked forward to knock him out and he got up, drawing a sword.  Damn.  Well, I slashed him a couple times and like a noble he went down, but I hadn't killed him.  So I bound and gagged him.  I reached into the chest next to him to find... 8000 gold!!  One wonders where I would put all this.  And on his person was another 2000 gold. Infact, the chest seemed to be holding much more than I could carry so I looked for the most valuable and/or useful things and swiped them.  And... I guess I would call this a consolation prize, I got on top of him and fucked him.  Then I tied him so tight he'd need help to escape.   I crept past the sleeping man again and shot another guard with my bow and one of my best arrows.  He closed the distance and I jumped out from behind a small ship and daggered him in the back.  

 

I got the last guard in a similar way to the first one, then followed the trail into Deepwater Grotto.  As I entered, two men were talking - Bandits, rather than the guards I'd encountered before.  Was I even going the right way?  Why would the East Empire Company employ bandits?  Maybe not as wholesome as they might seem.  And I like that in my mind, I was justified in what I was doing.  I drew an arrow and shot the little guy, an Archer.  A second arrow to his head sent him dead in the water.  But the other guy was nearly at me now.  Some kind of bandit champion, he bowled me over with a greatsword.  I got up, found myself fighting and losing against this brute Orc.  After only a few swipes he knocked me off my feet again, stripping the weapons from my hands and then stripping my trousers.  I fought the urge to yell as he got on top of me and thrust into me.  But knew if there was a chance of me moving forward I'd need to let him get what he wanted.

"You're a fool and I'm going to kill you," I whispered as he fucked me from behind.  

When he was done several minutes later, he sheathed his sword and put back on his armor, going to pick his companion out of the water.  Delvin and Vex, you have taught me well, though this tactic is my own.  I snuck over to him, still naked with my dagger in hand, and jumped on his shoulders, digging dagger into his throat.  He collapsed into the water.  If he was alive before, now he was also drowned.  Gritting my teeth, I redressed and pressed on.  I found two paths: a bridge and a path of spider webs.  I used Flames to burn my way through, and got the giant spider inside with an arrow.  On the other side, I ripped through the web with my sword and stabbed a bandit woman in the back.  Her partner, a man, came at me with a sword, but found himself wanting against my superior skill (hah, right.  If only they could all go that way.) and went down easy.

 

Next segment.  Somehow I slipped up because the whole group heard me coming and drew weapons.  I noted that the archer was going out to the bridge adjacent to get a better shot at me and not approach.  Smart.  I hid around an outcropping and waited for the warrior, a barely clothed woman to turn the corner.  When she did, I slashed her up with a combo from two weapons.  She turned and ran, and I fired an arrow in her back.  I turned to find a Dog swimming to shore next to me (obviously the archer's pet) and plugged him as well.  Then I turned to the archer, who'd already hit me once.  We played the strafe game as he walked back across the bridge, we trading bowshots back and forth.  We each got a good shot or two in and as he rounded a stone pillar, eyes still on me he set off a log trap and it swung into his chest, pulverizing him and he fell into the water, dead. 

"My gods," I said.  As I looted, I realized it wasn't just me that'd killed the dog.  He'd also hit a bear trap as he came onto shore.  I laughed out loud.  Somebody is looking out for me.

 

And the final bit I found a stone plateau on the right with a small boat in the water.  There was a stone pillar and deep behind the pillar was a set of cages, supplies, and Gulum-Ei.  Three guards.  I hid behind the face of the plateau for the first guard to come out, then stabbed him in the back, dumping him in the water.  The second guard was far enough away he didn't hear, but when he came towards me I broke my stealth because he was a friggin ghost.  We fought, but the went down in seconds.  Not a very good ghost.  Now he's double dead, I guess?  What do you pay a ghost in, ghost money?  The third one was an archer.  I jumped up onto the plateau and snuck behind the huge shelves full of loot and plugged him with arrows.  When he finally was able to figure out where I was, I already had three arrows in him and the fourth took him down.  This was a good day (well, except that one, but I don't think about that). 

 

I strode up to Gulum-Ei, "Give me the deed.  I'll decide if I'm going to kill you in a minute."

"No need to be hasty!" He forked it over, "It's Karliah who's doing all this.  I didn't even know it was her until after she'd already set the plan in motion."

"Who?"

"He really hasn't told you anything, has he?" Gulum-Ei said, "She's the one who got the former guildmaster killed."

"Alright," I silently wondered why they weren't giving me the full story.

"So you gonna let me live?" He asked.

"Sure.  But next time a lady sucks your dick, be more forthcoming," I said through gritted teeth.

I looted everything of value, then walked out and traveled back to Riften.  Too many of these trips across the whole of Skyrim were leaving me dog tired.  I slept again, this time it seemed like for a day and a half.  

When I got up, I felt terrible.  It was about sunset again.  I figured maybe I would take a stroll around Riften, like a normal person rather than the murderhobo I was.  I thought maybe I would go to the shrine and get a blessing and it might cure my ailment, but I found myself at the entrance to the Honorhall Orphanage.  And I couldn't remember I was asked to do something here.  I figured I'd go inside.  Children could be fun.  It might ease my feelings.

 

As I stepped in and stood in the doorway, I could hear an old woman talking to the children.  

"None of you will be adopted, you worthless wretches.  You'll always be here.  Get used to it.  Now go to bed!" She said.  I peered around the corner.  Grelod the Kind, she was named.  And now I remembered.  That kid in Windhelm wanted me to kill this woman.  Gods, she kept talking.  She was horrible, berating them.  Telling them they were worthless.  But she took care of them.  Why?  Maybe... funded by the Jarl?

 

Oh my gods, the idea was already in my head.  I was already thinking about how to kill her.  As I looked upon them, I noticed a younger woman who seemed to be consoling them and helping them as they went to bed.  She was the *real* kind one here.  Maybe I didn't need to kill the old woman.  Maybe I could use some magic and scare her into being a better person.  I... didn't really know a lot of magic, and that seemed like it would backfire.  Maybe I could give her a savage beating.  But, still, brittle bones.  I sighed.  Okay.  I would wait until she went to bed.  Then I would feed her poison.  Something to keep her from suffering.  Gods, I put my hands on my face, I was really going to do this.  

 

I waited a few minutes for all the little eyes to shut, then I quietly crept to the backroom, like a Saturnalia elf bringing presents in the form of murder.  I shut the door behind me and went through my pack.  Aversion to Frost, Aversion to Shock, Weak Stamina.  Dammit.  I pulled out my sword.  In for a silver, in for a septim.  This was going to get messy.  I stabbed her cleanly and swiftly and she let out a groan.  I darted to the cubby with her desk.  Just as I expected, the children hadn't been asleep after all.  They rushed in.  Dammit.  Fuck.  I don't know why I did this.  I looked at my pack again.  Limited Invisibility.  That would work.  I drank it and snuck past them, closing the door behind me, and sprinted out the front door.  Aventus, it is your lucky day my friend. 

 

I couldn't tell you what on that day compelled me to do that, but I was still feeling sick, so I walked to the temple of Mara.  I got the blessing, and I still felt like garbage.  I sat down at a pew for a few minutes.  

 

"Oh, congratulations!" A dunmer woman said.  Dinya Balu.  She was the wife of the head priest, and a priestess of mara.

"Excuse me?" I asked, "Are you mocking me?  I feel like shit."

"No, no.  Are you telling me you don't know?  And you came here just by coincidence?" Dinya asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, praise Mara!  A miracle!  You're pregnant!"

".... what?" I asked.  I imagine I didn't have an ounce of happiness about my face.

"I mean, if it's unwanted, we have things to take care of that," Dinya said, "Discreetly."

I shook my head, "No."  I sat there for a moment.  Puzzled that I'd messed up mentally tracking my cycle, and not sure what to do.

"Tell me," I turned to her again, "Are you able to tell who the father is?"

Dinya blinked.  Then she smiled again, not trying to judge, I'd wager, "Simple."  

She concentrated a few seconds, then she tilted her head, "I'm not sure how to tell you this..."

"Tell me what?"

"No, really, I mean, I don't know what to tell you," Dinya replied, "It's as if the father... doesn't want me to know.  What kind of man possesses that kind of oddly specific power?"

For the first time in this conversation, I smiled, "I know who."  It made sense.  He fucked me probably twenty times while I was there for only a couple days.  And maybe supernatural sperm does whatever the fuck it wants.  Maybe it can wait around until I'm fertile.  Maybe it can just get things started without my body even being at the right phase.  Who knows.  I stood, hungry grin on my face.

"Where are you off to?" Dinya asked.

"To find the father and tell him the good news," I said, then I turned, "Hey.  I need a Necklace of Mara."

"Amulet of Mara, and of course," Maramal said, trading the septims for the necklace, "Should we expect you back here within a few days?"

"...Maybe," I said back, smiling as I walked out.

Dinya blinked again, waving, maybe realizing that this was not your garden-variety happiness.  

As I suited back up in my traveling clothes I racked my brain about something that'd long laid dormant in my quest log that seemed to be screaming at me now.  I flipped through the tome to find, 'A Night to Remember.'  To explain myself, I had a quirky way of logging each event that happened with a memorable title until I saw something through to completion.  A Night to Remember was the time when I just joined the Thieves Guild and I woke up in the Temple of Dibella after a night of drinking.  And at once, I experienced a brain blast.  Sam Guivenne!  He had the same damned face as Sanguine and the name sounded the goddamn same!  I got on a carriage to Markarth, to travel by horse to Rorikstead (I was stacked enough now I could buy 20 horses), the place I'd been blabbing about when I woke up from my night of revelry with Sam.  

 

I'm going to show my cleverness now and sweep that bastard off his feet.