Hey, it's me, Destana.  Ongoing recount of some of the more interesting stories from my travels in Skyrim.  I showed up to Riften to try and join the Thieves' Guild on a friend's suggestion.

 

"Halt!" The first gate guard said.  He looked at his buddy, though I couldn't tell his expression through the helmet.

"Yes?"  I asked.

"Dressed rather shabbily, aren't you?  Are you some kind of prisoner or something?" He asked.

"No.  Just poor.  Trying to get into the city.  Let me in?" I asked.

"Nah.  Go around to the back gate.  We can't be seen letting in just anyone."

I raised an eyebrow, "Okay."  I said.  I would later learn they made a few jokes, then immediately asked to 'take a pee break.'

So I went around back.  No problems here.  Two more gate guards, and another guard approaching me rapidly.  It was hard to tell who these guys were under their dumb-looking helms.

"Good morning!" I shouted nervously.

"Halt!" 

"Of course..." I sighed.

"I need to do a full body search.  To..." The third guard started, "Make sure you don't have any contraband."

I pursed my lips, "That makes sense.  Although... where would I hide it?"  On the bright side, though, I had managed to get inside the city.

I remember being led to the Riften dungeons.  I walked past a opulently dressed man... and a blue catman who seemed to be talking to himself (I decided to steer clear).  

The guard patted me down quickly.  He asked me to turn around, patting me down again.  I remember hearing the sounds of booted feet entering the room while it was happening.  At the time it didn't really mean anything to me.  

"I'm going you to undress," the guard smirked, well I assume he did anyway.  Still couldn't see his face.

I blinked, "Look, I'm not carrying anything.  If you want a look..." 

Gods, feeling really horny right now...

"...I guess I don't mind," I finished.  I pulled off my brown burlap sack looking shirt and turned to find about five guards just lounging about the room.  

"Is this a show now?" I smiled, "How much do I get to charge?"

They laughed raucously, one of them shouting, "Tell you what.  Entry into the city."

"Meh," I shrugged, then covered up my boobs as bargaining chips, "Tell me where the Thieves' Guild does business.  Then it's a deal."

"Ohoho!" One of the others shouted, "You a thief?  Am I going to have to arrest you later?"

"Just an aspiring one.  How bou tit?" I chuckled.

The guard doing the searching pulled at the rope around my pants, letting them fall.  He pulled a hand away from my boob and cupped it gently, "Everyone gets a touch.  THEN it's a deal."

Surprisingly, they weren't giant jerks about it.  They got to put their hands on me and didn't push it any further.  I did say something in there about being repeat customers (not that I'm a prostitute, just that maybe we could be better friends after I get established).  

 

They sent me to talk to Maul.  

"Are you Maul?" I asked, the man leaning against a pillar near the front gate.

"Yeah, who're you?"

(SL Arousal message: Destana arousal level 99)

I didn't say anything for a few seconds.  I could barely focus.  "Want a blowjob?" I spat.

"Uh... sure?" He replied.

"Over there," I pointed to a place out of sight, around the corner.

"I really shouldn't.  I'm on watch for Maven."

"Where is she?" I asked, "Also, who is she?"

"She's back at the manor right now.  She's..." I put my finger on his lips. 

"She's not here, though," I replied, "How about just around the corner behind those barrels where you can see out, but nobody can see me?"

See, I'm smart AND persuasive.

"Ehh... ok," he acquiesced. 

I knelt, "Go ahead and say what you were going to say.  I'll be down here."  And then I started.  You might think I'm pretty loose.  But, I mean, a girl has to find something to do while she's on a ship for months at a time.  Men have needs.  And so do I.  Speaking of which, I decided I would help myself to my own hand down the front of my sack pants.

"What's your name by the way?" 

"Mmmf... Destana."

"Nice to meet you," he replied, "She's kind of a kingpin around here."

"So I'm interested in the Thieves' Guild," I said, then returned to what I was doing.  I know how to use my hands while I talk.  

"You should... talk to Brynjolf," he groaned, emptying on my face and chest.  A few seconds and I was done with myself.  That was easy.  

"Thanks dude," I stood, "Maybe we can do this again sometime."  

"Uh... yeah," Maul said, dazed.

It was then that I decided I would wash my face before I found Brynjolf.  

When I found him, he set me on a simple task:  plant a ring.  I want to say it was a funny story, but honestly, it went off without a hitch.  I've been accused of having really fast hands, even before I got any training.  Next, he told me to find him in the Ratway for more jobs.  I followed the guards' suggestions and went into the sewer in the most conspicuous 'stay away, there's a ghost' note, and wound up in the Ragged Flagon.  By this time it was around midnight and I decided I would take what scratch I had and get a bite and take a nap.  Nobody seemed to want to interact with me unless I had somebody vouch for me, which I was working on, but I was able to get what I needed.  

The next morning I found Brynjolf in the Cistern and he gave me his spiel.  Three jobs.  The funny thing is - I barely remember doing those jobs.  Just that they worked out pretty easily.  I smashed the man's pottery to intimidate him.  The innkeeper is threatened with information from her friend.  Haelga at the bunkhouse just payed up right away.  Maybe I was a little heavy handed when I smashed the dude's thing.  But it got the point across!

Anyway, back to the guild.  I turned in and Tonilia gave me armor.  (Thank the gods.  I threw the sack cloth into a random chest in the guild).  Brynjolf introduced me to Mercer, and I was welcome in the guild.  With a paycheck!

Now, it was time for my first official job.  Burn bee hives, extortion, etc. 

 

"Hey Vex, what you think'o this new arrival?" Delvin asked.

"Trust her about as far as I could throw her," Vex said.

Delvin chuckled, "How's about we play a little prank on her?"

Bryn suggested I talk to Vex, who now had jobs for me.  Me, being the entrepreneur I was decided to take all the jobs.

"Burglary?  Solitude.  Heist?  Solitude. Shill?  Morthal.  Sweep?  Uh... Solitude," Vex laughed under her breath.  I shook my head.  It was going to be a long trek. 

"Oi, you walk away without taking jobs from me, you're asking for trouble.  Money's still on the table," Delvin smiled.

"Alright, what you got?"  I asked eagerly, trying to hide my frustration.

"Numbers?  Morthal.  Fishing?  Windhelm."

"Goddammit..." I said under my breath.

"Bedlam?  Markarth," Delvin smiled.

But, smiling, desperately seeking acceptance (and money), I said loudly, "I'll do them all!"  I walked up to Velkin, bought as much food and waterskins as I could carry and prepared to walk across all of Skyrim.

 

Side Notes