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Entry 69: Sexual Healing



Hey everybody.  This is Destana!  A couple months ago we won a war against the Thalmor, and since then we've been gearing up for an invasion.  I've been mostly taking a break while the kids go around Tamriel. 


So far,

Fenrir traveled to Elswyer and got the Khajiit rebels on our side (and scored an airship).

Damien became Hero of Daggerfall and, I guess... made a lot of the things in the present possible?  Also he got a new house.  Sounds kinda un-contributive when I put it like that.

Runa and Jura traveled to Cyrodiil and now he's the Emperor, she's a Septim and together with Rigmor (a Mede) they're Cyrodiilic princesses.


Following Runa's last entry, Jura and I discussed official terms for an alliance, which we're going to call the White Gold Accord, to fly in the face of Thalmor bullshit.  Jura sent letters to Hammerfell, High Rock, Morrowind and Black Marsh detailing the request for a meeting, and an alliance.  So far only High Rock and Hammerfell have responded.  




Jura's letter to High Rock did not explicitly remove them from Cyrodiilic rule (as none of the Counts would've been onboard with that), but it did offer them more of a voice on the International Council we're forming as part of the Accord.  But also, I expressed an interest in preserving Orc rights, either through their ability to self-govern as an Independent Kingdom of High Rock, or as an independent nation all their own.

High Rock's response was something like, 'Of course we'll join.  We're still subjects of the Empire.'


Jura's letter to Hammerfell tendered his resignation as General Paperpusher, and informed them that he is now Emperor Jura.  They sent a delegation a few days later, and of course their first action was to ask for the money we promised them.  Jura made the point that Hammerfell hadn't actually helped out Skyrim in the war (besides his own scant contributions, which were completely unsanctioned and unrequested). 

But then he followed up with, "Of course, I found out what General Sialius promised you was an empty promise, as he wasn't affiliated with the Empire at all, but with Skyrim.  BUT!  As part of the start of our alliance, I am going to pay you, if you agree to additional terms."

"What... terms?"

"We're going to Assault Valenwood in just a couple months.  You keep the Thalmor busy, which allows us to sweep through Valenwood.  Then we assault Alinor.  That's it.  And you join the Accord Council."

"That's it?  Continued hostilities?" He asked, "Done!" 


But I'll come back to all that.  I want to talk about the last couple months of my life, between the times that I visited with kids, handled shipbuilding, and generally performed queenly actions.  For a timeframe, it's 4E 216.  The Skyrim-Thalmor War ended and the Moot was called a few days before the end of last year.  Damien, Runa and Fenrir all left around the 5th of Morning Star (1st Month).  Jura was crowned Emperor of Cyrodiil on 4E 216, 25th of Sun's Dawn (2nd Month). 


I was left completely physically and mentally destroyed by my experiences with the Thalmor.  Not that I'm not a very tough person, but they were into some pretty alien, dark shit. I couldn't even shout for a little bit. 


The first thing I did was bury myself in helping with the invasion preparations. But that got old and I felt like I was hovering.  I crafted myself some new armor out of Dragonbone, with bits and pieces from all my many specialties. Then enchanted it. That didn't actually take much time. 



I'd decided I would go for modesty this time and actually cover up my boobs.  I kept the skirt from my time with the Forsworn.  The horned crown, long boots and shoulder pad were made from dragonbone.  The dragonbone claw I'd had for a while, and the Blade of Woe for my off-hand.  The belt, backpack and back-shield were all mainstays.  The gauntlets had Stormcloak on them.  The gorget was from the Companion's wolf armor.  The collar (not visible) was a Thief Collar.  And I wore four rings: Mage Knight ring (my own craft), Lingering Dragoncrest Ring (from Solaire's world), and my two wedding rings.


This new gear was in preparation for something.  I'd been rotating between Volkihar and Windhelm, and you remember the Pit Fighter's Guild?  That thing I did once when I was new to Skyrim and nearly died?  Well, I decided while I was in Windhelm I would try again.  And of course, now I'm a killing machine.  So I tried drowning my sorrow in blood.  After a few days of utterly mopping up 


I fought in WIndhelm, in Riften Ratway, in Windhelm, in the Orc Pits, at a Prison, and at a secret gathering when a group of smugglers' boats tied together and had brawl matches.  And every few fights it was 'I want you to challenge the champion,' of whatever place.  These guys had names like 'The Beast of Elswyer,' Im-Shei the Prisoner who never dies, Sjorta Half-Troll, The Wolf of Gilane (that's where I'm from!) but everybody fell.  It wasn't really fair, but these people knew what they were getting into when they signed up for this job.




Also, I did a couple good deeds for the gladiators on my bloody path to the top. 


One day, Hasell approached me and told me a mercenary from Hammerfell had crossed the border to drag him back to his old owner in Sentinel.  But he had been a free man for years.  Naturally, I flew over and took care of the men for him.  


Destana Hunts


On another occasion, Honthjolf approached me, "Hey, I heard you're in good with the Stormcloaks."

"Yeah, so?"

"My brother was in the legion.  Before the Civil War I ran a stall here in Windhelm.  Ulfric's supported destroyed the stall and took my stock when they heard I was a Legion supporter.  I had to join the Pit Fighters," he said.

"Well you're still alive after ten years.  Seems like you're doing well," I said.

"Yeah.  And now that we're chummy with Sialius' Legion... I was wondering if you could locate a ring for me.  It was a family heirloom," he said.  I agreed, and he described the soldier who took it, and described the ring.

I walked over to the barracks and looked around for him, finally finding him.  I wondered how I should broach the situation.  I could just order him to give it to me.  About this time, an alarm was raised, and all the guards in the barracks started streaming into the prison.  I looked through the guard's foot locker and found the ring, just taking it.  It reminded me of the old days.  I slid down to the prison to find a prisoner, dead in the common area.




"Oh, hey, Stormblade.  This one picked his lock and when I found him he tried to pull a shiv on me," a guard explained.

"Oh!  That's the queen!" The other guard cheered, and the guards bowed.

"No matter what happens, the guards will always be grateful for everything you've done," another guard said.


While walking back to the pits, I saw Sialius and Balfhe, who were just finishing off a pack of goblins and their dogs who'd slipped into the city somehow.




"Your majesty!" Sialius shouted.

"How you doin Sialius?" I shouted.

We exchanged some small talk, then it was back to invasion planning for him.

I looked up at the sky and realized I'd been doing this for about a week and it was nighttime.  I figured it was a good time to go visit Serana.


I returned the ring, then I teleported to Volkihar and walked in the common area.

Serana stood up immediately, "Where have you been?  Whose blood is that?  Are you okay?"

"I dunno. Somebody's," I replied.

Serana's face contorted to a look of rage, "What are you doing?"

"Fighting in the arena.  I needed something to take the edge off," I said, "Sorry I haven't visited lately."

She grabbed me by my shoulderpad, "No."

"No?" I asked.

"You don't just get to walk in here like this.  You are going to get some help.  You know how you talked about going to see the Sisterhood?"

"Yeah," I responded.

"Go see them.  Dibella might help you," Serana said sternly.

"Alright.  Alright.  I'll do it," I said.  Of course, I didn't go right away.  I washed myself first.  After a long shower, full of thought, I went.


I teleported to Markarth and approached Hamal and Fjotra, away from prying eyes.


"What ails you, sister?" Fjorta asked.

"Is it that obvious?" I asked.

"Already the girl can sense people's inner pain.  A true sybil.  What can we help you with?" Hamal asked.

"See, during the war, I was captured by the Thalmor," I responded, "They tortured me... sexually.  Now... it's like I can't enjoy sex.  I used to love it, but it causes me nothing but misery."

"I must say, I thank you for delivering Markarth from the Thalmor.  Their stay was short-lived," Hamal said, "I believe we can help you, if you're willing to stay with us for a while."

I nodded, solemnly, "What do I need to do?"

"First, come with us.  We're about to offer our prayers to Dibella.  There's a secluded statue in the underground baths that is perfect for solitude," Hamal said.


"I didn't know there were underground baths," I said.

"The entrance is next to the other baths.  It's more of a control room than anything, but there're a couple pools down there," Fjotra said.

We walked down, deep below the temple, and I followed the women.

"First, you must shed your modesty," Fjotra said.

"You're been listening," Hamal smiled at her.  She gestured for me to go ahead.  I slipped off my clothes and put them in my pack, setting that both down as we got to the statue.

"Stand, in silent meditation of Dibella," Fjotra raised her hand and held my other. 




We waited.  Then we waited some more. In the intervening time, Hamal left, leaving me with Fjotra.

I opened my eyes to find her staring at me, innocent smile on her face. 

"Anything come into your mind?" She asked. 


I sighed, "Not really."

Fjotra ran her hands along my shoulders, "It may take a while. You know what I've learned from my time?"

"What's that?" 

"Dibella isn't love. The divines are manifestations of principles. But not the whole picture. I believe, this is what Vivec called CHIM. There is an underlying principle in all things. If you can come to access that thing, you no longer need divines to guide you to truth."

"Wow. That gave me chills, actually," I said. 

"Sadly, I haven't been able to verify this claim yet. But, believe it or not, my connection with the Primal of the Forsworn has led me to this path."


We sat down in a bath (her getting naked now) and continued to talk. 

I said, "I still don't know how I feel about sex with non-sentients. Ria likes it. The Forsworn use it as a connection. It was fine, but I don't want to pursue it."

"I appreciate the sexual exploration of it," Fjotra said, "Once you recover yourself, and I know you will, tell me if you have any new things to share."


I sighed, "Actually that's kinda why I'm here. At this point I can talk about it, but the Thalmor summoned something that looked like Hermaeus Mora's grosser roommate and made it rape me. A lot."

My mind flashed the images... like I needed a replay.




She looked at me like she was a little curious. 

"Don't give me that look.  They killed the Thalmor through a highly deadly toxin."

"Ever consider that might be part of your problem?" She asked. 


"Remnants of the toxin in your vulva, making sex painful. Or at the least, uncomfortable," Fjotra replied, "Of course, I'm sure at least some of it is psychological."

I put my hand on my chin, "You might just be a genius.  But what do you suggest?"


"I dunno, soaking?  Sounds like a Hamal question," she stood up, splashing water off her naked body, "C'mon."

She grabbed my hand and we walked outside. "Dang, the other bath entrance is locked."

"If you let me get my clothes..." I started, but she cut me off, "Nah, we'll just use the front."


Fjotra dragged me through the front, and both of us, naked  passed by several men.

"By the gods!" and "That's a body that's blessed by the divines!" and "Shor's beard!" were shouted, but Fjotra ignored them. 


"Mother Hamal," Fjotra said, still dripping. 

Hamal chastised her a little bit, but she completely ignored it and explained my situation. 

I swear I heard her whisper, "I dunno, soak in the baths?"


So we soaked in the good baths.  I felt... a little better.  When the people had all left and I found myself there alone, I pondered my existence. 


In the middle of the night, I heard footsteps and looked up. 

I smiled, "Serana?"

"It's my day and I wanted to see you," Serana smiled back, slipping into the pool, "And... I love you and want you to get better."




"I love you too," I smiled. It was midnight, and indeed her day to have me. I hugged her. 

"I like the warm welcome. How is it going?" She asked. 

"Positive.  I might have some of the toxins in my system. Trying to soak them out," I smiled, "Wanna have sex?"

She smiled, surprised, and we did. It was nice. 




"How was that?" She asked, us laying naked on bear-skin rugs in an adjacent room. 




"Maybe 70%.  I think I need at least another day. Hey, um, could you come back tonight?  And... bring Ulfric."

Fjotra and I spent a lot of the day together. She asked me about my sexual experiences. And strangely, she sat in the bath across from me, book in hand, writing down what I described. 

That night Ulfric and Serana came to see me. She was already naked to match my level of dress, he had his armor on.




"How are you doing?" He asked.

"Honestly I'm doing a lot better. But I think I need help to get over that last hump."

He snickered, and I said, "I mean, literally. I think I need you to just fuck this outta me.  The toxins. The fear. The pain.  Just fuck me. I need you to fuck me.  A lot."


Ulfric and Serana smiled to each other, and we got started.  We started off both licking and sucking him.  Then the two of them got together for a little bit while I kissed Serana.  He took turns fucking both of us for a while, then I finished him in my mouth.  To be honest, it was good, but he was human.




I slept the sleep of the dead on that bear skin rug.  About midday, I decided I'd rededicate myself to being a Sister, and I approached those men who'd been admiring our bodies days before. 

"Would you like to make a donation?" I asked, naked except for the wreath. Two of them gave me money, all smiles. 

"Spread the love sister!"

The third one said, "I think I want to make another kind of donation, if you know what I mean."

I helped him out.  I was feeling generous.




Of course, he gave money too. 

And for the first time in a long time, it felt really good.

I spent the rest of the day getting donations (all of the first kind, but occasionally of the second kind as well).






On the third night I'd asked my spouses to give me a break.  But not everybody got the memo. 

As I soaked that night, I felt a shadow creep along the floor.




"Gods," I smiled, "Figures you'd want a piece."

"I was your first love. Of course I do. It kills me that I only have so much time now. I mean, it's better than Mehrunes Dagon, who is allotted zero time because he's an asshole. I think the Divines don't see me as too much of a threat," Sanguine replied. 

"Better take that toga off before you run outta time.  Talk while you thrust" I said, then opened my mouth really wide.




After a while he said, "Hey, I want you to feel like you're getting your money's worth."

He raised his hand, and an effect like a summon happened.  I turned around, and another Sanguine was there.

My eyes went wide.

"Of course, I'm the more handsome one," the new Sanguine said, and the original rolled his eyes.  We continued with Sanguine double-teaming me.


He covered me from two angles, over my face and chest.  Then both the Sanguines coalesced into one.

Tired, I laid on the rug just outside the pool and he came and sat over me. 

"I miss you, y'know," I said.




"A girl like you shouldn't be tied down. I want you to have fun like you used to. Every time you have sex with a man, you can think of me. Be a little bit wild once in a while.  Debauchery," he said, then he faded back to Oblivion.  I washed myself off and went to sleep.


The next day I collected donations from guards and one of them took what he wanted. After that I checked myself out of the temple. 

I knew it'd been a few days since I ferried Brisienna, but I warned her I'd be gone for a little bit. So I went to Sky Haven. 


"Hey, want to meet some of my friends?  Well, one of them is my wife," I asked.

She shrugged, handing her baby to Inigo, "Sure."


We ported off to Solitude. It was Loredas so Elisif and Serana were having their weekly teatime, usually with a few other noble ladies.  Today, I found Serana in the receiving area.  

She turned to us and hugged me, smiling, "Hey, Des.  How you doing?"

"Not bad.  Figured I'd join youall today."

"Seldom special guest, Destana joins the party," Serana said, "Who's this?"




"I told you about Damien's adventure, right?" I asked, "This is his wi~ girlfriend?"

"Baby's mama.  We haven't really discussed marriage.  Hi, I'm Brisienna Magnessen, two hundred year old fossil," they shook hands.

"Bris, this is my wife, Serana," I said.

"Nice to meet you Brisienna.  I'm a thousand year old vampire queen," Serana smirked.

I chuckled, "Why are you waiting?"

"Elisif is finishing up her audiences," Serana replied.

I picked a Deathbell from one of the planters behind my back and handed it to Serana, "For my death queen."


"By order of the Jarl, stop right there!" The guard drew his greataxe, "Pay your fine or face the consequences."




I looked at him flatly, "Are you serious?  It's worth like, a septim.  Also, I'm the godsdamned Queen of Skyrim!"

"Y-y-yes m'lady.  I apologize," he replied, putting away his axe.


Serana and Brisienna were giggling.

"Shut up," I said flatly, "Gods, the guards here are so jumpy."

"Jarl Elisif will see you now," Falk Firebeard called down from the balcony.

We walked up to her platform and Elisif stood up immediately.  




"Falk!  Cancel all the rest of my meetings!  Girl time!  And Destana's here!  And..."

"Brisienna," I said.

"Brisienna!  Let me change!  I have so much to tell you guys!" Elisif can off.

"Well, that's all your appointments for right now anyway.  This was scheduled," Falk said, but Elisif had already walked off.

"Oh!  I need to change too," Serana said.


We walked to her receiving area, downstairs.


Serana emerged first, wearing a short white and gold dress, and I said, "Sometimes I think you just come to these to show off your new clothes."

"What can I say?  I went to Divine Elegance earlier.  And UCM," Serana smiled.


Elisif walked in about this time in a green and red dress, took one look at Serana and said, "Dang.  You win this time, vampiress."





"You both look hot," I shrugged, "I'm just wearing the same old dress."

"You could definitely use a shopping day.  I could take you," Serana smiled.

"Ugh.  I hate trying on clothes.  Rather just go naked," I laughed, and we all sat down around the table.  Elisif passed around the wine bottle and we all had some.




We spent a little while talking, of course, catching Elisif and Serana up on Brisienna's story, and catching Bris up on my history with them.  We told them about Caranthir Tower and the Blades.


"So Elisif, you said you had good news," Serana took a long drink.

"Oh!  Yeah!  Des and Bris distracted me," she said, then she showed off a ring, "I'm engaged."

"Oh wow!  Who is the lucky man?" Serana asked.

"Well, that handsome Commander you guys plopped in Castle Dour to lead the Solitude front?"

"Hrolf Witch-Slayer?" I asked.

"We've been spending a lot of time together," she said, "He's been everywhere. So many stories to tell."

"Yeah I got the sense he has a lot to offer with Skyrim's defense. Might work with him again in a while," I smiled, "Congratulations."

We all talked for a while, then Elisif said to me, "Hey, remember that request I didn't use at the moot?"


I asked, "What'll it be?"

"Well, there's this weird guy always hanging around the palace, asking to get into Pelagius Wing.  That place has been locked and hau ted for years," she replied. 

I shrugged, "I could take a look. I am pretty good at such things.  Wanna come with, Serana?"

She looked down at her dress, "How dirty is it?"

"It gets cleaned about once a year," Elisif replied.

"No thanks."


"Well, I usually am more on the supply side of quests, but... sure," she replied.

So we went back to the dais and got the key from the maid and walked over to the locked door. 

I stripped off my dress and crown, suiting up in my new armor.

"Oh wow, this is a different side of you," Brisienna said. 




"Get ready to see a lot more sides of me," I said, opening the door. 

Before us was a dust and cobweb covered wing of the castle.  We poked around for a little bit, then I walked down a hallway to explore the rest of the wing.  




As I looked back to Brisienna, who'd followed me into the hallway, she looked upon me with shock.

"What's happening?" She asked.

Everything went black.  


I woke up in an overcast grassy field, with a large table and chairs set up.  




"Of course I'm naked," I said.  The man at the table winked at me, and suddenly I was wearing a set of noble clothes.  That I couldn't seem to take off.  My stuff was gone too.  Okay, obviously a powerful mage or daedra of some kind.


As I approached, the other man finished his statement, "Why, my headsman hadn't slept in three days!"

"You're too hard on yourself, my dear, sweet, homicidally insane Pelagius.  What would the people do without you?  Dance?  Sing?  Smile?  Grow old?  You are the best Septim that's ever ruled.  Well, except for that Martin fellow, but he turned into a dragon god, and that's hardly sporting..."


I sat down beside 'Pelagius,' and the multi-colored man continued, "You know, I was there for that whole sordid affair.  Marvelous time!  Butterflies, blood, a Fox, a severed head.  On, and the cheese!  To die for!"

"Sheogorath!" I shouted as soon as I heard the word 'cheese.'  They merely looked at me like I was interrupting their conversation and then went back to it.  

"Please go.  Leave me to my responsibilities... and burdens," Pelagius said.

"Well then Harumph!  If you're going to be like that... perhaps it's best I take my leave.  Good day to you," Sheogorath paused, "I said good day!" 

Pelagius vanished with a purple summon effect.

"This all seems connected," I said, "Does the haunting of Pelagius wing have anything to do with you keeping the man here?"

"How rude!" Sheogorath said, "Can't be bothered to host an old friend for a decade or two.  Well, what do you want?  Spit it out!  I don't have all eternity!  Actually I do.  A little joke."

"Maybe you should end your vacation or whatever this is," I said.

"Who's going to make me?  Molag?  The ghost of King Lysandus?  Stanley, that talking grapefruit from Passwall?  More to the point, do you - tiny, puny, expendable little mortal - actually think you can convince me to leave?  Because that's... crazy.  You do realize who you're dealing with here?"
"I already said your name.  Although... I did read in an old text that the Champion of Cyrodiil disappeared after he went to the Shivering Isles.  Could... he have mantled you?  Are you him?" I asked.


"Wrong!" He said, then he scratched his head, "Actually, correct!  Or, at least partially correct.  I am part of every mortal.  Who knows, maybe you'll be the next to take my place.  I am and am not the champion.  His-my mortal brain wasn't really meant to handle pure madness.  I do believe I left behind a vestige of my former self.  The sane part.  For now I am Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of Madness, at your service."

I smirked, reaching to take out my quest log, but finding it gone for now.  I wanted to half-check off meeting the Champion of Cyrodiil and figure out where this vestige was.
Finally I asked, "Does that mean you'll leave, then?"

"Now that's the real question, isn't it?  Because honestly, how much time off could a daedra really need?  SO here's what I'm going to do.  I'm going to leave.  That's right.  I'm done.  Holiday... complete.  On one condition.  You have to find the way out first.  Good luck with that."

I sighed, "Okay, what's the catch?"

"Ha!  I do love when the mortals know they're being manipulated.  Makes things infinitely more interesting," he said, "Care to take a look around?  This is not, I dare say, the Solitude botanical gardens.  Have you any idea where you are?  Where you truly are?"

"Probably Oblivion," I replied.

"Nope.  Welcome to the deceptively verdant mind of the Emperor Pelagius III.  That's right!  You're in the head of a dead, homicidally insane monarch.  Not I know what you're thinking.  Can I still rely on my sword and spells and all that nonsense?  Sure, sure.  Or you could use... The Wabbajack!" He shouted, then he handed over the staff on his back. 



So a puzzle session with a daedric prince, eh?  I picked a direction and walked through that arch.

His voice rang in my head, "You're headed down the path of dreams.  Unfortunately for you, Pelagius suffered night terrors from a young age."

And there he was in the field, sleeping in a bed.  

First a wolf popped out.  I blasted it with the Wabbajack and it turned into a friendly goat.

Then, a bandit.  I blasted him and he turned into a child.  

A hag, which became a friendly wench.

A dragon priest, which turned into a chest.

Finally, a flame atronach, which turned into a roaring campfire that all the people sat around.  Pelagius woke up.




"Well, that was easy," I said as I passed through another arch, wishing I could take this stupid hat off.


"Ah, this is a sad path," Sheogorath said, "Pelagius hated and feared many things.  Assassins, wild dogs, the undead, pumpernickel... But the deepest keenest hatred was for himself."

I found a large man fighting a small man.  I used the Wabbajack to make the big man small and small man big.


"That's it?" I asked.

As I continued to the third arch, he continued, "Pelagius' mother was, let's say unique.  Although, fairly average in Skyrim.  The woman wielded fear like a cleaver.  Or she wielded a cleaver and make people afraid, I never get that part right."




I came upon an arena with two atronachs battling.  Three elves were on the other side, blasting their atronach with spells to make him bigger.  I blasted my side with a spell, but the elf on the other side balanced my casts out.  This was a stalemate.  I puckered my lips, thinking.  Then I aimed for one of the other Thalmor and fired the Wabbajack.  He turned into a wolf and attacked the lead elf.  Then I blasted the other guard and he turned into a wolf too.


"Oh I thought you'd never figure it out!" Sheogorath shouted as I ran back.

"Took me like thirty seconds, tops," I chuckled.

When I got there he said, "I have a saying - I'm not going to feel what you have to like.  Or something like that."
"I fixed Pelagius," I said.

"Now surely you know why I'm here.  On his deathbed - oh, and this was inspired - he forbade... death!  That's right!  Death, outlawed!  Fixed is such a subjective term, however.  I think 'treated' is much better.  At any rate, you succeeded and I'm forced to honor my end of the bargain.  Congratulations!  Feel free to keep the Wabbajack, my little minion!  If you ever find yourself in New Sheoth, do look me up.  We can share a strawberry torte!"  He waved his hand and I appeared back in the dingy hallway.  


I turned to find Brisienna staring at me, mouth agape.

"Is this a normal occurance for you?" She asked.

"Eh, pretty normal," I replied.




We walked back out of the wing and I told Elisif Pelagius Wing wasn't haunted anymore, and she admired my new digs. 

I immediately ripped them off and got back into my adventuring gear, which was now with me.  


"How scandalous!" A woman said.  I turned to find an Altmer.

I pursed my lips.

"No, I am not a Thalmor agent here to destabilize the court.  You're thinking of my terribly unfashionable sister, Mythriel," the woman said, "Nice to meet you, name's Nythriel."

"I'm~" I started, but she interrupted me, "Of course I know who you are.  I am both an attendant of the court and someone worthy of your confidence."

She prattled on about a few things for a while, mostly gossip.  Enough that I got bored.  If she was a Thalmor spy, she was doing a very good job being uninteresting.  Finally, when I was about to turn to leave, she said something about Erikur.  Honestly, I hadn't thought about that jerk in such a long while, she caught my knee-jerk scowl when she mentioned him.

"Well, queenie.  A little bit of gossip about his love life.  Let's just say Erikur prefers to do his shopping in the dungeon rather than the marketplace," Nythriel said, "On some days he'll even emerge with a sack that rattles so violently it betrays its contents as he walks.  Although, you didn't hear this from me - he strikes me as someone who likes to be bent over a chair with a gag in his mouth.  His sister on the other hand, is another story.  No I'm not suggesting they perform these cats together, though, now that I mention it... how salacious!"

I chuckled.

"You have a good eye," Nythriel said, "When it comes to deviants, it takes one to know one.  I wonder... what is your darkest secret?"
Realizing I couldn't tell her anything or everybody would know, not that I really cared, I said, "I'm a compulsive hoarder."

She chuckled, and I turned to leave.  I found Serana in the downstairs waiting area.

"You're still here?" I asked.

"Yeah.  You know I worry about you sometimes.  Sometimes I know you're too strong to be killed.  This is one of the first times," Serana said.



I hugged her, "Well, here's a reason to be worried, I guess.  There was actually a point in playing Pit Fighter beyond satisfying my own bloodlust."

"What's that?"

"Well, international champions are challenging us to come and fight."

"Thinking you can get in good with the neighbors?"

"That and I hear Valenwood has an invitational. Thinking as long as I can remain anonymous I can case the joint for invasion."

"Well, as always, be careful," she replied.


When I left the Blue Palace, It was getting dark.  My conversation with that Altmer had reminded me how much I hated Erikur.  I asked Brisienna to wait down the street, and for old time's sake I picked the lock to Erikur's house.  I rifled through his things, picking up a few things of value (mainly just to be an asshole) then, blinking, an image painted itself in my vision.

It reminded me of Elder Scrolls just making me know things, but without the blurry vision and headaches.  It was a map.




I decided I would go check this out after I cased Valenwood.  I teleported Brisienna home, then to Windhelm. 

I slept the night there and accosted Gerich, "So you mentioned fighting in other provinces.  How do we get this started?"

"At the moment, only High Rock has invited us," he replied.  

"It's a start."

We traveled to WIndkeep in High Rock, it taking a couple days.  Because it was a long trip, we took in several arena matches per person.  I fought a couple low-level guys, then I fought Sir Germain, who Gerich described as, "The Prince's own protector and a local hero.  It's said he alone killed a hundred elves in the Great War."




Surprisingly, he put up a decent fight.  But, to be frank, I'd been absolutely murdering the combatants before him.  Before I dealt the killing blow, I put my blades to the man's throat.

"Do it.  I never thought I'd be beaten by such common rabble," the man said from his closed helm.

"Common rabble?" I smirked, "Buddy, I'm the queen of Skyrim.  Surrender and the prince can have his best defender intact."

The man chuckled with my knife-point to his throat, "I wanted to prove a point.  They goaded me into it.  I am the prince."

I laughed, "Not very smart putting yourself in danger."

I sheathed my weapons and helped the prince up, "No shame in being defeated.  I'm pretty well-renowned for being a badass."

"What would you ask in return?" He asked.

"I'll ask for a favor down the line," I smiled.

"What sort of favor?" He asked.

"Well, we're going to need allies soon.  I'll keep in touch," I smiled.


We went back to Skyrim, next stop: Morrowind.

The land was blighted and covered in red dust.  We made our way to a city in the ashlands.  I fought a few rounds there too, but didn't find anything specifically helpful.




Hearing about our victories in those lands, we received an invitation to Valenwood the day after we got back.


This wasn't as long a trip as I'd imagined.  Maybe five days.  The paths were well laid, and I saw lots of opportunity for stealth in the forests, though the elves would be much better at that in their homeland.  I fought several more opponents in the arena until they sent me a champion: Dothiel the Huntsman.  

"I fought her once myself in the arena," Gerich said, "She attacks with bestial ferocity.  Stay clear of her blades."




You might imagine how it went.  She did have bestial ferocity, but I had more.


With that, I figured I had enough info to mount an assault.  We'd been there for only about a day and fought several battles each.  But just as we'd been about to leave, Gerich got a missive.

"It's from Summerset.  They're inviting the 'ones who defeated the Valenwood champion," he said.

I blinked.  They had no idea what they were doing.  Or did they?  But I had to take this chance.  We traveled south and got on a boat, going to Lillandril, Alinor.  I made note of all the defenses and the layout of the city.  


These arena battles were group battles and I had to fight with the other Windhelm combatants.  Just as well.  It made it easy to stealth and sneak up behind them.  




We fought several teams, besting all of them, including the reigning champion, Kardyn, leader of the Crimson Guard the, "Greatest Combatant the city has seen for centuries."  I had to fight her alone.  She was even harder then the knights in High Rock, using a spellsword style.  But she fell like the rest.

There was an awards ceremony, but I ducked out before it started.  They might've seen it as an insult not to attend, but I didn't want everybody in Alinor to see me.  I'd already taken a big enough risk coming here.  Instead, I went invisible and flew over the city, then over the city I we were planning on making our first target - Firsthold.  I'd told the others I was going to do this mind you.  Then I flew over the Southern Sea, over Valenwood and Cyrodiil.  When I finally got near Bruma after four days of flying, I teleported to Falkreath, then to Solitude.  It was night and I was tired, but I figured I'd tie up my one loose end - that map that appeared in my head.


I flew by night through a light snow to a house on a mountain.  




I knocked on the door, but nobody answered.  I walked in.  As soon as I did, though, a woman stood, drawing her weapon, "Hey!  Who are you?"

"I had a vision about this place," I said.

"A vision?  What are you talking about?" She asked.

"It was a map, leading here," I replied.

"By the gods, you're finally here!  My family has been waiting for generations," she said.

"You were waiting for me?" I asked.

"That's right.  I'm Seviana Umbranox.  This is my husband Luvien.  We are the keepers of the arrow of extrication."

I tilted my head, "That has something to do with the Thieves' Guild in Cyrodiil, doesn't it?  And some kind of master thief."

"Please, make yourself comfortable.  I will tell you the whole story," she said, then as I sat, she continued, "The Fourth Era began when Mehrunes Dagon was defeated by the Champion of Cyrodiil and Martin Septim.  My ancestor was the illegitimate son of Corvus Umbranox.  He was the Count of Anvil 200 years ago.  Few know, perhaps nobody knows, that Corvus Umbranox was the notorious Gray Fox."

"The Gray Fox?" I asked, "I've always thought he was a myth or something.  Seems immortal.  Maybe a daedra.  How could he just be a man?"
"He was the legendary leader of the Thieves' Guild.  But he is not immortal.  He was many different people.  You might ask yourself, didn't anyone notice when he turned into a new person?  It's thanks to the Grey Cowl of Nocturnal.  It makes the person wearing it look like the one before.  After Corvus, the Champion became the new Gray Fox.  But when he died, noone was worthy to receive it."

"Cool.  So you're saying I've been judged worthy of the Gray Cowl?" I folded my arms, smugly smiling.


"Yes.  It's the call of the Gray Fox.  He knows who you are," Seviana replied.

"Well, where is it?" I asked.

"In the mausoleum of the Champion of Cyrodiil," she said, "All of Tamriel thinks he was buried near his old mansion in Anvil.  But High Chancellor Ocato was asked to build a secret mausoleum.  To find it, you must think like a thief.  My mission is to give you the arrow and show you where to start.  Take this key, it will open the first gate."

I smiled, standing.  This was starting to sound like a big quest.  I wasn't sure I'd have enough time before the invasion, but I had the thread.  I could feel myself grinning.  I am a master thief.

"One last thing," Seviana said, "This is something you have to do alone.  Do not take anyone with you."

"Thank you," I said.

"Nocturnal guide you," she replied.  I took the items and left.


I slept the sleep of the dead again in Highreach, then I found a note in my things from Damien.  This was that spell he learned in ancient Daggerfall that sent letters directly to people.


"Come to Riften.  You'll never believe what I found out," the note said.  I shrugged.  I went and filled in General Sialius on everything I knew about Valenwood and Alinor, then I teleported to Riften.


When I found him, Damien smiled, "Long story short, I think we found Runa's birth mother!"

"Wow!  That's fantastic!" I said.



Happy 69th Entry!


Wanna know why I blasted out all of Pit Fighter?  Because it doesn't really do anything for the experience of the world and so I can remove it from my load order.  Making room for more quest mods. 


Also, I really did get accosted by the guard.  I could've picked that I'm a Thane, or that I'm in the Thieves Guild, or paid my bounty, or used Queen.  Obvious choice.  I accidentally picked the Deathbell.  Damn guards are jumpy.  Side note, I looked up Elisif's staff and saw a picture of vanilla Elisif.  Wow.  Not at all fair.  They really didn't try with the vanilla females.


You know what are great mods?  Dylbyll's Positioner and Placeable Statics.  I used it to add a chair to Elisif's receiving area so there was room for all four of us.



Edited by EnragedBard


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Loved the story, and glad Destana is finally fully healed. Creative solution too. So it wasn't lingering psychological trauma after all. Darn species 8472 mutations. ^^

Posted this ahead of time? Or still problems with LL? Been working fine for me ever since they fixed that faulty fileserver. At any rate, couple images and the Pelagius Story appear to be missing. ^^


They really didn't try with the vanilla females.

No kidding, though honestly, they didn't really try with anyone. Purely vanilla Khajit is probably the least ugly option to play. :P
Didn't get better after Skyrim either. I did playtest EOS, but found it lacking. For one it's just being a pretty bland standard Fantasy MMO that just has the well established world and lore going for it.
Even bigger turnoff was that it appeared they spend so much time and effort to ensure you could make you char look as freaky as you could possibly want that they completely forgot to provide for creating handsome, let alone beautiful characters.

Nitpicking: "locked and hau ted" ... I shall buy a 'n'. :)

Andy aye Dylbylls Positioner is a staple in my lord orders. Didn't have to much use for Placeable Statics yet, but I will keep it in mind. Though Dylbyll

Last paragraph escaped proof reading? ;)

When we were done, I told Elisif, whp admired my new digs. 

"Hey Serana," I said, "There was actually a point in playing Pit Fighter beyond sasisfying my own bloodlust."


"Thinking you can get in good with the neighbors?" - Might not be wrong, but the grammer seems quirky to me, but of course I'm not a native speaker and grammar is my weak side (even in German :p)


"That and I hear Valenwood has an invitational. Thinking as long as I can remain anonymous I can case the joint for invasion." - Uh, sorry? Come again please.


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1 hour ago, Talesien said:

Last paragraph escaped proof reading? ;)

When we were done, I told Elisif, whp admired my new digs. 

"Hey Serana," I said, "There was actually a point in playing Pit Fighter beyond sasisfying my own bloodlust."


"Thinking you can get in good with the neighbors?" - Might not be wrong, but the grammer seems quirky to me, but of course I'm not a native speaker and grammar is my weak side (even in German :p)


"That and I hear Valenwood has an invitational. Thinking as long as I can remain anonymous I can case the joint for invasion." - Uh, sorry? Come again please.




I accidentally set a timer for the post.  What you saw before was not done.  Though, my proofreading is not always 100%, I caught these as I was going.  Sorry if you already read it.  Might want to read again.  >.<


"Get in good" just means to make friends with.


"Case the joint" is a criminal saying meaning, 'Look at a place I'm going to rob beforehand so I can rob it most efficiently.'  Since Destana is very much a thief at heart, I used the terminology to 'case the joint' but for invasion.


Also, I raised the cap for all weapon skills to 150.  All the arena fights got me up to level 76 from 74. 

Edited by EnragedBard
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Pesky automation. ;)

And yes I see you fleshed the story out nicely. Makes it even more of a great read. And well tied in into the current 'timeline'. ^^
But really Serana been hanging out with Elisif to much. She's a vampire who lived a long time in Castle Volkihar, while it might have been in a bit less of a shamble back then from her descriptions she was a way less squeamish back then. Nowadays she let's her wife go alone into a haunted, off limits area, because she is worried her new shiny dress might get dirty? Pfffffffffffffffffffffffff...................... I'm sure D. would've given her the time to change too. Did I say Pfffffffffffffffffffff............?


As for the video ... "Excuse me are you a virgin?" What the ... wonder from what mod/quest this option hails. ^^

Also appears you were not meant to kill them, or not all, given you incurred a bounty for killing at least one of them.
Last but not least, darn I really, don't like Rap. I'm magnanimous though, so I shall accept some symphonic Metal as reparation in the next vid, thanks. 😛


Thanks for the explanations, yeah slang is good way to mess with non-native speakers understanding of a text I guess. ^^

And still something to nitpick: "Not I know what you're thinking." I guess it should be "Now I know ..."

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Well, I was copyrighted again and it suggested that song and I thought it wasn't bad. Kinda makes me thing of her rolling up and doing gangster stuff. 


Also, Serana figured it was a regular ghost. Not much of a challenge for Destana.  For the most part I think Serana's not been feeling like adventuring lately. 


I have been thinking of adding metal to my epic battle and travel music.  I use a lot of old video game music, Two Steps from Hell, and other random things. 

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3 hours ago, EnragedBard said:

Also, Serana figured it was a regular ghost. Not much of a challenge for Destana.  For the most part I think Serana's not been feeling like adventuring lately.

Yeah, well by now it's mostly too late anyway. I think D. has done most of the stuff Serana has dialogue for, but if you play through Skyrim once more you really should consider taking her along for the whole thing. A few things made me cringe, but by and far, Serana with the SDA mod is a lot of fun to have with you.


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That was quite an eventful chapter.  I liked it. A lot. In fact, I had a rather stupid grin on my face when reading. Which is rare. So, well done EB.👍


As usual a number of things caught my attention:


  I like the header-pic. D.’s body-language is like: “What? Did you expect me to stay down in the dumps permanently? Nah, we don’t do that here.” Or alternatively “Missed me?” No, I didn’t expect you to stay down and yes, the withdrawal-symptoms were setting in.


       General Paperpusher – No wonder, Jura  grabbed every opportunity to get some action after he came to Skyrim.


-          Under pretty much any other circumstances, I would laugh at the idea, that D.’s new armor is the more modest choice. But here I have to agree. It really is, which is saying something.


-          When I read “Wolf of Gilane” I imagined it to be some Scimitar-wielding Redguard-Warrior. With whom D. could then chat for a little while, before the stabbing and slashing commenced.  Letting him fill her in on a decade’s worth of gossip from her old home. With D. being quite embarrassed, because it turns  out, that she has forgotten how to speak proper “Redguard” after so many years in Skyrim. Alas, looking at the collage, it seems like it was an actual wolf.


-          “Stern” Serana must be quite scary if D. just does what she was asked to do.



-          What is it with D. and her belt? She really must love that thing, since she hardly ever seems to take it off. Even when explicitly asked to undress.😉 



-          Big thumps up for the “Healing”-sequence. The Toxin-Idea seems very plausible and D.’s method for getting over the last little hurdle showed, that she is certainly getting closer to her old self. Which is good.



-          “To be honest, it was good, but he was human.” Poor Ulfric. I suspect, that he is beginning to feel his age after a night like this.😉



-          For one moment, I thought that Calleius had found his way into the Temple of Dibella (looking for a blessing or two) and D. took the opportunity to “interrogate” him. But no, probably not the case.😁



-          Oh, Skyrim-Guards. Please never change. Trying to arrest the queen because she picked up some Deathbell at a friend’s place? Hahaha. If D. would be petty, that would mean no pay for the guard in question for at least 6 month. Fortunately she isn’t like that.



-          D. really has Balls of Steel that would put even a giant’s to shame: Wandering into Lillandril and decimating  their local arena-champion like that.

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The Wolf of Gilane was actually a Redguard dual wielding Scimitars.  I have a strong urge to put in a flashback conversation in a later entry now.  Especially if she ventures into Hammerfell for Grey Cowl.


The cover photo is the trophy room of the Windhelm Pits.  There she is shrugging/showing off her wins.  I also like HM's interpretation.


I have some adventures planned with D+Serana in the future, someday.  Namely - Coldhaven, and actually doing the quests associated with Castle Volkihar Redux.  


I found an ESL mod - Immersive First Person View Config for Sexlab.  Then I noticed the vanilla IFPV is also ESL.  I tried it out, and IFPL is definitely trash for normal use (I could tweak it and it could be very cool, but there's a lot of wobble and the controls work very differently than regular FP) but the IFPV for SL makes you able to independently use vanilla First Person and IFPV, which is fantastic.  Get ready for some female POV SL shots.


D's armor is modest, compared to no chest armor at all.  But her boobs are still flopping around while I fight.  I do love physics.


I really like that belt.  Because usually when you're wearing something impractical your weapons just hover at your side.  But with the belt (which pretty much works with everything) gives your weapons somewhere to hang.

Also, since I always wear it, I enchanted it with the 'cushioned' enchantment.


Yeah, Calleius and that Markarth guy are both pretty generic.  I blame Skyrim.


Edit:  Final Note - I'm at 507 plugins.  It's no 1100 like gregaaz, but I still think it's impressive.

Edited by EnragedBard
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3 hours ago, EnragedBard said:

The cover photo is the trophy room of the Windhelm Pits.  There she is shrugging/showing off her wins.  I also like HM's interpretation.



I am looking forward to seeing, what you manage to do with IFPV for SL. I believe, I tried it at some point (for Oldrim), although just briefly. The result wasn't really to my liking (male PC) since the movements where quite jerky and the field of view often forced towards the ceiling or the walls.


Alright, I can see your reasoning concerning the belt. Not having to staple a weapon-holder of some sort to your bare skin is certainly a good thing. Besides: If Hamal  can wander around with a waraxe (!) at all times, then a belt should be ok as well in the eyes of Dibella.



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