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  1. SexLab Alicia Painslut (January 2021) View File A few words of background. This mod is an extension of the unique voice acted character mod Alicia PainSlut by DDproductions83 - you can download the original version in this thread. DDproductions83 was kind enough to let me run away with updates from his mod, so you do not need to download the original version if you want to use this sexlab version. All the files should be included. This mod (the sexlab version) is currently in a state of advanced beta. Current discussion thread WIP Discussion thread: (locked) -- SexLab Alicia PainSlut Original voice acted mod by DDproductions83 Port to SexLab and customizations by SkyrimLL. Description -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Back story - "Once in a generation, Sanguine selects a special pet and sees that she is raised for his personal enjoyment. For reasons unknown, her name is always Alicia. She is the whore often depicted under Sanguine's thumb." Alicia, a unique S&M and fully voiced companion available for your pleasure. Find her in a cellar under Hjerim (Player house in Windhelm) Many thanks to DDproductions83 for allowing me to build on his fantastic character and practice modding while making Alicia SexLab aware. What changed from the original version: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - support for SexLab actions - support for default and advanced follower behaviors. - support for Zaz animation pack items (gags) - multiple personalities (two for now) - dynamic stats based on how you treat her (the more you hit her, the stronger she gets) - dynamic perks based on how horny she gets (related to hit rate) - quest to discover her origin and control her fate - moved to Windhelm (Hjerim) and loosely integrated with the Butcher's quest Previous change log: Alicia 3.0 - Halloween release - is a complete rewrite of SexLab Alicia PainSlut. Treat it as a new mod. Upgrades will be unpredictable. If you already have version 2.02 installed: - Dismiss Alicia (using a Banish Alicia spell if possible) and quit your game - Uncheck the old mod (and remove the esp, esm and bsa files) - Load your game without the mod and save again - Reload with the new mod checked and go find Alicia in her basement This should work, although I have not tested an upgrade. Make sure to read the release notes and the forum posts! And as always, save your gave before upgrading in case something really wrong happens. Be careful and save before installing this version! The optional zip file only includes vanilla body and textures to give you a sense of where files should go. No need for me to include CBBE, UNP or any other resource for your favorite body mod. Requirements -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - SexLab framework 1.53 or later (http://www.loverslab.com/files/file/150-skyrim-sexlab-sex-animation-framework-v111b-updated-0710/). - Zaz Animation Pack 6.0 or later ( http://www.loverslab.com/files/file/156-zaz-animation-pack/ ) For her Whip (in the basement chest), bondage equipment and torture devices. - XP32 Maximum skeleton ( http://skyrim.nexusmods.com/mods/26800/? ) :: This is a suggestion if you don't have an enhanced skeleton. If are using one, install the optional files and copy your skeleton/ body shape files to Alicia's folders. Optional but strongly recommended: - Fuz Ro D-oh ( http://skyrim.nexusmods.com/mods/14884/? ) Installation -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Compatibility -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Troubleshooting -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mods used to customize her in the screenshots: - Injured bodies and faces - UNP Mature : Different levels of cuts for her skin - UNP petite : for the base body - BodySlide for UNP: for the body morph With that, I highly recommend using an enhanced blood effect and giving her a basic armor and just knives to get the full effect of her companionship Credits -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - 'Old Book' for testing - 'NathanSteele' for some of the new books content - Insanity's food mod resource (for the pumpkin model) - Skin textures for Alicia by Ekirts Ykcul ( http://www.loverslab.com/files/file/835-skintextures/ ) - Default 'ceremonial armor' from TERA armors UNP conversion Apologies to Baudelaire for merging and customizing three of his poems: The vampire - Self tormentor - To a red hair girl Check out DDproductions83's mods at: http://skyrim.nexusmods.com/modules/members/index.php?id=1574451 Full change log Submitter DeepBlueFrog Submitted 07/12/2013 Category Other Requires SexLab, Apachii Hair (female), Zaz animation pack Special Edition Compatible No
  2. Hey, it's Destana again. Last time I traveled around Skyrim and tied up a lot of loose ends. But this is a special occasion. Now that I established an actual home, I returned to the bedroll under the Honningbrew Meadery and slept there. I was taken to Sanguine's realm, as before. "If it isn't my adherent," he looked up from whipping a young lady, "What brings you here?" I approached him, pulling away the Nightingale armor around my collar. Sanguine blinked, "You're bold. Look at you, wearing an Amulet of Mara. Interested in me, are you?" "What do you say?" I asked, "You're immortal, right? It'll only be until my death do us part. At the very least, come with me to Nirn. You don't get out enough." Sanguine's smile grew slowly, "Do you know what you're asking?" I smiled, "I do." He chuckled, waving his hands, and the realm around us dematerialized. We were standing next to his statue in the caves. Him, in a blue toga in his full daedric form instead of armor. "Are you sure you'd be interested in a life together?" Sanguine asked, "You are interesting company. More than interesting." "I'd be more than interested," I replied. He grinned again, "All of Skyrim... All of Nirn better get ready to stand the fuck aside then." He chuckled like a low rumble. "Let's go to Riften. That's where the chapel is." "Sure. Sure they'll accept a red man like myself?" He asked, then he added, "Well actually, they'll see Sam. I'll meet you there." I stopped off and got a wedding dress, then I made my way to Riften. It wasn't a big ceremony. Up until this point I haven't made my life the type that puts down roots or keeps friends that have an established place in the world. Even this wedding ceremony wasn't exactly normal. I'm sure the Sam disguise looked acceptable and normal, and Sanguine looked good in his blue robes that offset his red daedric skin, that's not what I mean. I mean monogamy was not in our blood. I most certainly was going to continue doing whatever I wanted with my body, and I'm certain he would do the same. This ceremony was a declaration of love, not of ownership. I walked into the ceremony in my red and white wedding dress, looking beautiful. Maramal made a lot of declarations, but I wasn't really listening. "Do you agree to be bound together, in love, now and forever?" He asked at the end. "I do." "And you?" "I do," Sanguine replied. We kissed, and that was that. Maramal gave us rings. "It's a simple ceremony, but it'll do. You're here. That's what is important," Sanguine said as we walked out. "Now, let's go to Honeyside. I just bought it," I smiled, "It may not be up to your normal standards, but, it's what I have for now." "I'd be honored," Sanguine replied, and we went to my house in Riften. Obviously our honeymoon was no different from when we first met. We fucked each other's brains out for four solid days. Iona supplied us with regular food and water. Eventually, though, he learned that I was pregnant. "You know I would've been there for the child whether or not this (marriage) happened, right?" He asked. "I'm not into taking people's decisions away from them," I replied, "If you want to be a father, then that's your choice." After about a week, I decided I was not going to quit adventuring yet. "How'd you like to come with me?" I asked. "Come with you? On your adventures?" He asked. "Yeah. I've been thinking I'm putting myself in far too many dangerous situations. There's a civil war brewing without the bodies to get it off the ground. I need to go catch Mercer before he gets out of Skyrim and is gone forever. There's a lot to do. So I've decided I'm going to start... not an army. An adventuring company? I learned some basic Restoration and Illusion that augments allies, and I think some meat shields would do me good," I pontificated. I had been thinking back to all the possible companions offering their services that I'd seen or heard of in my travels. A number of names came to mind, but I decided I would narrow it down to only a few, and try to maintain some semblance of balance. I would be the back guy, the thief, and perhaps a healing type. Cue the montage music. - I would need at least one more melee fighter. I handed Sanguine the Dragon's Oath as part of our initial planning phase for this. I would wield the Nightingale Blade and daggers for now (if needed). He of course told me he had centuries of combat experience. But he decided for today he was going to sit out the recruiting, "My, this place is atrocious. I'm going to clean up in here." - I needed one or two ranged attackers. After asking around, I realized there was a strange man in the Riften Jail I'd passed on one of my first days in Riften. Somebody in jail was murderhobo/unattached enough for me. I approached the cell. "Thank the gods! You've finally come to kill me!" "Uh... what?" I asked. "My friend, do you not remember me?" ".....What?" I asked again. "I have wronged you terribly. I must insist that you kill me now, even if your memory is a little fuzzy," he said. "Wait... what is your name?" "I am called Inigo the Brave." "Please, instead of me killing you, how about you take a period of service with me?" I asked. He shrugged, "I think I can agree to that." "But wait, you're in prison. Just let me talk to the Jarl. I'm a thane here." "My friend, I can leave anytime. The guards insist I've done nothing wrong, but they told me I could live in this empty jail cell if I paid them a handsome price," Inigo explained. I smiled, chuckling, "You're a strange cat, Inigo. Any good with a sword? Bows even?" "I do a little of that. And I sneak," he replied. "Good. You can have a spot on my team," I said, then I led him to Honeyside. Sanguine and Iona were sitting at the dinner table. "My love, I cooked you a meal," Sanguine said. "There's no human flesh in here is there?" I asked, half-jokingly. "Just a meat pie. Beef. Not human meat," Sanguine said, "You know I value consent. I'd only serve you human meat if you want it." I pursed my lips, storing that information in the vault. "This is really good," Iona was enjoying a piece already. "I am, unfortunately, without equipment," Inigo said. "And naked," I added, then I walked over to my chest. I grabbed my Elven Armor, from back when I started my journey. Then I tossed it to him and he put it on, "Looks good on you." - Then I remembered that woman, a bard and alchemist, who'd been hanging out in the Bannered Mare. I traveled there, leaving Sanguine at home and just taking Inigo to get her. As I approached, she said, "Have you by any chance seen a goodfornothing Nord?" "No." "He and his friend stole something precious to me, and I need to find them before they do something I'll regret." "This is starting to sound like a quest. I hope a short one, because I'm kind of a quest junkie," I took out my log, flipping through it, "And the quest log is getting awfully heavy." "Will you help?" She asked. "Yeah, I'll help. Do you want to be a part of my burgeoning fighting force if I help you?" I asked, "Of course, I'll have to interview your skills when we get to that point." "Uh.. sure," she replied. We headed to the outskirts of Whiterun. - My next recruit kind fell into my lap. By which, I mean... it was an accident, not that she sat in my lap or anything... That comes later. We'd headed to the Whiterun stables to ride over and find those guys who'd taken Vilja's bottle. And... there was a naked woman there just lying unconscious in the stables. Curious (and... wow, she's really hot. Even more than me!!) I decided I would approach. I poked her with my boot. "Oh hey, it's you," her eyes blinked open, "Oh, I mean, I've never met you before. It's not like I've been following you around or something." "On second thought..." I turned. "Wait... I'm injured! Yeah, injured. I might die if you leave me here. Let me come with you." "You look fine to me," I said. Very fine. "Ok, if you let me come with you, I'll make it worth you while." "I guess I could use more backup," I said. "Yeah, and I'm strong and good-looking too!" "And modest," I smirked, "But if you're so strong why do you need my help? And where are your clothes?" "I... have no idea," she folded her arms. But not to hide her nakedness. She seemed to have no problem with that. She continued, "My name is Sofia, by the way." "I'm going to have to give you some armor. Then we're going to help this one get her thing back," I pointed to Vilja. I handed her the Stormcloak Armor. I wasn't going to use it. Maybe I could find her something better later. We walked over to the Meadery, which is where the Vilja's thugs were discussing her bottle. "Is it possible to turn into a donkey if you're cursed?" The big one asked the smaller one. "So you guys stole from a defenseless woman and now you're cursed," I said, "I can take that cursed bottle off your hands, if you like." "Please, take it!" The big one said, handing it to me. Vilja smiled, "That was easy. I guess an explanation is in order. My grandmother ..." I started to zone out during this explanation. "...Morrowind... " I'm not usually rude, but my quest log was already getting really full. "...Eldergleam Sanctuary..." "Wait, I think I've been there!" I said. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure that was true. But whatever, I offered to go with her there. But first, I was going to take care of rounding out this group! - I still needed a tank. I asked around and looked at my quest log at the hundreds of things I'd written down I picked up over the months here. One note in particular pointed me to a battle-hardened old woman named Shirley who was a veteran of the Great War. THE Great War. The one with the White-Gold Concordant. Heavily armored, two handed weapons. Lots of battle experience. She'd be perfect. She'd been living alone for a number of years at a house in the mountains. Let me tell you, it was not an easy climb. I walked into her house, my entourage already getting somewhat large. She was sitting there in her living room, wearing a purple old dress. "Afternoon travelers, what brings you out here to the boonies?" "I heard you have a lot of experience. I'm forming a fighting force," I said. "Oh sure, sure. I've forgotten more things about war and combat than most people know," Shirley said. I thought she might take a little convincing, so I added, "I'm a pretty good adventurer, but these days, I need protection. See..." I looked down at my stomach. "I understand, honey," she said. "Of course, everybody gets a cut of the spoils," I explained. "Problem is, a nasty group of bandits made off with my sword and bow." I smiled, "Now that's a quest I can get behind. I'll be back." It was close. We were on a mountain, so I casted slow fall and jumped down, running the plains to Silent Moons Camp. With Inigo, Sofia, Vilja and myself, we decimated the bandits there. As we overcame them I grabbed the best pieces off each bandit, grabbing an elven shield for Inigo, a bandit shield, boots and gloves for Sofia, and a full suit of Nordic Plate armor. When we returned, Shirley clapped me on the back. Half war hero, half grandma. She grabbed some steel plate armor, laying it out orderly in front of her. Then she turned, pulling off the purple dress (still in underwear). And man... grandma was jacked! Despite being old, she was covered in muscle and scars! "Wow!" One of the group said. "I try to stay in shape," the old lady chuckled. I stopped her from suiting up, taking out the Nordic Plate, "Here, think of it as an advance. The Bandit Chief was wearing it." "Pretty neat fringe benefits!" She chuckled. Then I handed held out her enchanted greatsword and her bow covered in leaves and vines. "Ready," she said. "Now for the final piece we're going to go get find Mercer Frey. Think of this as your test run. To the victor goes the spoils." We traveled to Riften, it having been a couple days of travel gathering this group. I walked into Honeyside again with my entourage. Sanguine was waiting there, "You have quite the group. About to go on adventure?" "Yeah. We're going to ... Irk... whatever, a ruin. There are two more waiting for me there so I think I'm going to leave you and Iona here for this one," I explained. "Me coming was an option?" Iona asked. "Just have a bite to eat and I'll be waiting," Sanguine smiled, "Oh, and I may have some business to take care of from time to time in Oblivion, so don't expect me to be here 24 hours a day." "Of course, you're an important man." I dipped into my camping skills and constructed a four person tent and bedrolls and set it up for them, as there weren't enough beds for everyone. We set out for ... the ruin in the morning, fighting some bandits at the entrance, then finding more dead inside. Brynjolf and Karliah were waiting for me just past them. To be honest, we steamrolled the dungeon. I kept Rally up on the group and hung back with bow (and crossbow) while they did the dirty work. We got to the end of the Falmer and Dwemer tech and found Mercer prying the eyes of the Falmer out of a giant snow elf statue. "You can't get the drop on me, Karliah!" Mercer turned to find me, Brynjolf, Karliah, Inigo, Sofia, Vilja, and Shirley waiting for him. A storm of arrows before he turned invisible. "Trying to escape?" I shouted, "You were a fool to think we weren't going to bring backup. If the rest of the guild weren't a bunch of sneakthieves who avoid combat I'd've brought them too." One of the arrows somebody'd hit him with was sticking out of his invisible body and he stuck out like a sore thumb. I snuck while Sofia and Brynjolf engaged him and I started to lay into him from the back. I got the feeling this was meant to be a duel, but we trounced him. Justice/Revenge is a bitch. The place filled up with water but we got out of there. "Damn guys, that was a rousing success," I said. I turned to Karliah, "I'm going to take the Skeleton Key back now, but I have a couple stops to make first." Of course, secretly, I kept that thing for a WHILE. I still had a Thieves' Guild to make great again. "I'll be back at the guild, lass," Brynjolf said. "Of course," I turned to my guys, "You guys did great. I'm going to divvy out the spoils when we get back to Riften. How about a bonus job? We're actually only a short walk from it." We headed to Korvanjund. Time to get Ulfric his damn crown. "So you finally arrived," Galmar turned, "Oh." "I brought some friends," I smirked, "We're going to steamroll this place." "Damn imperials are trying to get in. I wonder if it's the same reason we are. No matter. Ready to kick some Imperial ass?" Galmar asked. "Hell yeah, brother!" I shouted, casting Rally on the whole group. We stormed the Draugr-filled ruin to find Imperial Soldiers there ahead of us. And the draugr seemed strong and more numerous that I would've expected. At the end, we had the Jagged Crown. We returned to Windhelm to deliver it to Ulfric Stormcloak. I found him in his bedchamber. "Damn, the old bear was right!" Ulfric sat up in his bed, "I need you to deliver this axe to Jarl Baalgruf of Whiterun. He'll know what it means." I smirked. "Is there a Ms. Stormcloak?" I asked "No, why do you ask?" He asked back. I was on a high from all that violence, so I acted on it. I'm fairly certain Sanguine has been watching me throughout. I decided I would take a detour to Riften to pick him up, though, before I went to Whiterun.
  3. Hey, it's me, Destana. After a year of making the Thieves' Guild great, learning to play Lute better, slaying dragons, raiding forts and 'persuading' them to join the Stormcloaks, attending magic college and having Damien, my son (with a couple months off before and a week off after for me), Ulfric and the gang were ready to raid Solitude. I decided I would leave Damien with Iona and Sanguine. He didn't want to get involved this time. Something about meddling in the affairs of mortals far too much. (Honestly, I think he was getting bored of Skyrim). So I brought the regular crew: Inigo, Sofia, Vilja and Shirley. I want to say it was an epic battle. It was, of course. Ultimately, General Tullius fell like so many of his men before him. It all came down to him and his main guard. When she said she would fight to the last breath, I had been behind her and slit her throat before the boys could lay into her. Then Tullius. Ulfric nodded to me, "Do you want to do the honors?" Part of me thought there might have been too much killing these past few months, but I was still on my high horse about doing whatever I wanted. "Do it. I want a clean death," Tullius said, "The harshness of Skyrim has a way of carving a man down to his true self." "Damn. This man speaks truth," I said back. I took out a dagger and stabbed him. We walked out into the courtyard and presented the General's body to the amassed people, including Jarl Elisif the Fair. Galmar shouted, "I present to you, Ulfric Stormcloak, hero of the people, liberator and High King of Skyrim! "I am indeed Ulfric Stormcloak, and at my side the woman we know as Stormblade, and the world knows as the Dragonborn," Ulfric said. "Velvet Acid Talos," I muttered, but I held my tongue because I didn't want to interrupt his speech. "And indeed, there are many that call us heroes. But it is all of you who are the true heroes! It was you who fought a dying Empire who sunk its claws into our land, trying to drag us down with it. It was you who fought the Thalmor and their puppets who would have us deny our gods and our heritage. It was you who fought your kin who didn't understand our cause, who weren't willing to pay the price of our freedom. But more than that, it was you who fought for Skyrim, for our right to fight our own battles... to return to our glory and traditions, to determine our own future!" Ulfric continued, "And it is for these reasons that I cannot accept the mantle of 'High King.' Not until the Moot declares that title should adorn my shoulders will I accept it. "I would swear my fealty to you, Jarl Ulfric!" Elisif shouted back. "You, of course, will remain Jarl of Solitude," Ulfric reponded. He paused, then continued, "A great darkness is growing, and soon we will be called to fight it, on these shores or abroad. The Aldmeri Dominion may have defeated the Empire, but it has not...defeated... Skyrim!" He walked over to us as the crowd cheered. "I told you not to call me Dragonborn. It's a silly legend," I said. "Even so, Stormblade, it's our legend," Galmar said. "So when are you going to be High King? What does it take for the moot to meet?" "Now, I wait," Ulfric replied. "Smart call, Ulfric," Galmar nodded, "Letting Elisir keep her life. You will be High King some day." "Damn, it was nice having you on this one, Ulfric. Your shouts are almost as good as mine," I smirked. "Because you're dragonborn, you cheater," Ulfric replied, "Took me ten years to learn Unrelenting Force." I chuckled, "Maybe you should join my team in the field someday. Maybe it's combat experience that made me so damn good." Ulfric and Galmar laughed. I counted up my dragon souls in my head. Nine. I only have basic shouts though, as I hadn't looked for any more word walls. We retired to Windhelm. I hung out at the Palace of Kings for a few hours, reveling with the Stormcloaks and my group. But it was a sad revel this day. I knew this campaign was at an end. They would stay here, though some would scatter to occupy the holds and keep them from falling back into Imperial rule, and I had my own business to conduct. Of course, I had one more night with Ulfric for the road, as I knew it might be a while until I saw him again. I'm strange like that. I think I like having sex with important and exotic people. Part of me says it's because of the novelty. Part of me has a roll of parchment in my pocket and I'm checking off important men (and women) as they come along. I returned to Riften, to find Sanguine on one of his 'business trips.' I cuddled my baby through the night. In the morning, I gathered together my group. Sitting at the table in Honeyside, I said, "You guys. This last year has been awesome. And we never thought of a name for our group." "How about the Dragon..." "Don't you say it too, Sofia," I growled. Inigo added, "Fusrodorians!" "The Fighting Mongooses," Vilja said. "How about the Stormblade Sentry?" Sofia asked. "Damn. For once you said something smart, Sofia. Okay. I'll allow it," I said. "Thanks... hey wait!" She started. I tossed a fat sack of coins on the table, "This is your final paycheck." "But why? You need us!" Sofia said. Sofia was kind of annoying, and she never shut up. But she was good in a fight, and really good looking, so I let it slide most of the time. "I definitely don't. But I WILL miss you," I replied, "There's no reason for me to roll around with a huge company for the time being. I promise I'll come call on you again someday." "You know, we never did my quest," Vilja said. "Stick around. I'll pay you to look after Damien. I promise I will help you with it someday," I smiled. To be honest, Vilja and I had never really connected. Maybe it was her vacant eyes and responses that made no godsdamn sense. "I will see you again, friend, I know it. I'll be hanging out in the Riften prison," Inigo said. "Again with the prison. You know I'm thane here. And Whiterun. We have more than enough money to buy the vacant house in Whiterun and put you up there." Shirley nodded, "I expected this day would come. Especially with your new baby. You deserve a vacation." Shirley had always been like a grandma to me. And extremely durable to boot. I said goodbye to them and they all went their separate ways. I told Sanguine later that I'd be going it alone for a little while. He was okay with that, which I figured. He always seemed to be the last one in combat. Immortality has it's drawbacks too I guess. Though, maybe he'd just revive in Oblivion? "You know, you're right. Although we might not see each other again if I die," he explained when I asked him, "It can take days. Or decades. Or centuries." Vacation? Fat chance. But I was still thinking about where I would go and what I would do. The Dark Brotherhood didn't seem like they needed me for now. The Thieves' Guild was great again and they seemed not to need me anymore (all I had left to do at this point was to turn in the Skeleton Key, which I was considering because I'm such a nice person). I could investigate the Orb for the mages... Ultimately I decided to do a couple of low-impact jobs to get myself back in the solo-adventuring mood. I would need to modify my fighting style if I was going to go it alone. I thought on my skills, and my fallbacks were utter mastery of archery, stealth and lockpicking and my mid-level skill at pickpocketing, one-handed weapons, light armor and shields. But now I was a mage too. Illusion was probably my best skill, being good enough to bend minds and make myself invisible (adept+). My destruction was adept at best. Allies don't like you blowing them up with your enemies. Conjuration: adept at best, as I usually had enough real meat shields to tank for me. Restoration was fairly high, seeing as how I spent a lot of time patching up allies. Alteration was a side skill, and I only had enough for mild conveniences. And enchanting... what the heck is enchanting? I'd never spent much time on any of the crafting professions for the same reason Vikings never learned to farm - I usually take such things from my enemies. The first thing I did was explore the tunnels around the Ragged Flagon. Seemed like a light warmup now that I was... let's say 'unburdened' by pregnancy. Mostly rats and stray vampires. I kept my distance and burned/shot them from afar. But what intrigued me was the reports of ghosts I'd heard about when I first started here. I delved deeper into the tunnels and found that there were actually ghosts down there. I made them double dead. There was a sword there I snagged - Dawnfang. So I finally got a replacement for Dragon's Oath. Then as I was reading my quest log in the Flagon later that evening, I noticed I have a note about some bandits stealing the Armor of the Crusaders. I went to get it and blew them up. Amateurs don't deserve such nice armor. Let me tell you, it looks hideous on me. I kept the body piece, with the Nightingale Gloves and Boots. Helmet? Are there invisible helmets anywhere? I went with a Circlet of Archery or Destruction for now. Then I returned the Skeleton Key. I returned to my baby and did things mothers do with their babies. In the morning, I returned to the Flagon. Brynjolf said he wanted to see me, now that I finally returned it. "So you've finally decided to return the thing that was cursing us to begin with," Brynjolf smirked as I approached. "Nocturnal and I had an arrangement," I said, which may or may not have been a lie. I mean, I did pray to her sometimes when I was about to steal things, and I kept praying to her to tell her I was going to return it when the guild reached this point. And now I'd fulfilled my end of the bargain. Brynjolf continued, "Well, my friend... the time's come to make it official. It's time to become our Guild Master. Don't worry, I promise this will be short and sweet. If you'll just meet us in the center of the cistern room, we can begin." I walked to the center of the cistern and all the many members of the guild surrounded me. The inner circle, Vex, Delvin, Karliah and Brynjolf were in the inner ring, with everyone else in the outer ring. Brynjolf started, "Look, I've never been good at these things, so I'm just going to keep it short. Being Guild Master means more than just getting a cut of all the loot, it's about being a leader and keeping this rabble in order. With that in mind, I propose that the position of Guild Master should be yours. Delvin?" "Agreed." "Vex?" "Sure, why not," she replied. "Karliah?" Brynjolf continued. "Absolutely." "Everyone is in agreement, so all I can do now is name you Guild Master and wish you good fortune and long life," Brynjolf smiled. He handed me a key and a necklace while Tonilia stepped up to hand me Guild Master's armor, "And..." "And?" "And we have a little treat set up for you," he continued. "Treat?" I smiled, not sure if they were about to all knife me in the back or give me a chest of gold. But when all of them started to take their clothes off, it became clear what was going on. "You're the cumdump, right?" Vex snickered. "One last go-around before we have to call you boss," Delvin smiled at me. I instinctively pulled my armor off, "You know that position is still going to be okay by me, right?" That was a long day. I don't know if you know this, but because of my 'vigorous' recruitment (and of course, a lot by some of the higher ups) the guild has over thirty members. And they all got their turn. Afterward, I felt like I needed a bath, possibly a Skooma, and a priest. I retired to Honeysideto snuggle up with Sanguine after a thorough scrubbing. And... it'd been a few days since I'd seen him so we had sex too. But in the morning. With all that, I took a few days before I went adventuring again. I talked to Brynjolf and we decided he was going to be the front man. I was more the planning guy who collected earnings. I think I'd stolen everything possible from Skyrim - at this point the Ragged Flagon was much less ragged, and was lit up with opulence, with fence shops like a black market. Though, it was still in the sewers. Speaking of priests, I decided I would go get Mara's blessing after that display. You can't be too careful. Maybe go figure out what is with the Dibellan Priestesses at some point. I walked into the church to find nobody there, so I sat and waited, realizing I'd gotten up early in the morning. "Ah, greetings Thane," Dinya smiled, tidying up around the shrine. "What's that altar there?" "He calls himself Dudestia. A small, cult following. Apparently, not one of the big divines. More like a friend of Mara, I guess," Dinya said, "Have you met our new priests?" I shook my head. "One of them is from Nyhus, along the Cyrodiil border. Have you ever been to Cyrodiil?" I shook my head again, "Can't say I have. I've been thinking about getting away for a while. I certainly have the money to take a trip to Cyrodiil, or Elswyer. Maybe just a jaunt to Bruma." "What about Hammerfell?" She asked, turning to me. "Hmm..." I thought, "Maybe someday. But there's not really anything for me there now." I looked up at the sun, and down at my now leaking boobs. "Blah. Time to nurse again. Damien's probably up by now. Sorry, gotta go," I stood and walked towards the door. "Beautiful motherhood," she said, "I look forward to our next meeting." I opened the door. "Oh, and congratulations!" Dinya said as I was leaving. I froze, then turned around. She didn't know I was Thieves' Guild Master. She probably didn't know I was one of the leaders of the Stormcloak rebellion. I mean... I had Damien nearly a month ago. Maybe it was that? "Congratulations for what?" I asked finally. "Oh, you don't know?" She asked. I blinked, "I must be in some kind of deja vu level of Oblivion. Is this really happening again?" Dinya blinked, "It seems as though it is. You're pregnant again." "...Shut up. You're not serious," I'm sure my face contorted into something that looked like rage, but then I calmed and turned to look at her. I walked back over, "Okay. Okay. Could you do the test, and just like before..." "You want to know who the father is?" Dinya asked. ".....Yes," I said, a little embarrassed, though I don't really know why. She closed her eyes, and focused for a few seconds, "Ulfric Stormcloak." I pursed my lips, stood, and started to walk out. I turned back towards her, said nothing, then walked out. "Congratulations!" Maramal emerged from the back just in time to shout. I guess he'd been eavesdropping. "Shut the fuck..." The door slammed that'd been shutting behind me. I took a deep breath. I wondered how Sanguine was going to take this. I imagined, probably alright. One of the byproducts of so much debauchery was children. I walked in to Honeyside and sat at the dining table. Sanguine emerged from whatever he'd been doing downstairs and handed me Damien, which I popped on my boob. "Hey, can I tell you something disturbing and somewhat incriminating?" "Dear, you are a criminal. And I assure you I cannot be disturbed," he sat down opposite me. "I'm pregnant again," I said. "I figured it'd happen sooner or later, because we never use protection. So damning," he chuckled. "It's not yours," I said. He looked at me silently for a few seconds, then he smiled again, "I was just pausing so you'd get the worst anxiety about my answer." He laughed, "I also figured that would happen too." "Not mad, are you?" He took my hands, "We both entered into this knowing the other wasn't going to be exclusive. Why the hell would I be mad? Would it surprise you to know I've fucked probably over a million people in my time?" "Just how old are you, anyway?" "I dunno. What is time, even? If you want to get technical, I'm et'Ada, a spirit who has been around since the beginning. I vaguely remember the First Era, the Merethic, Dawn and before. Though understanding and reality wasn't what it now is," Sanguine replied. "That's a very cerebral answer," I smiled. I knew he wouldn't be mad. It did make me feel small, though. I always knew I was merely a blip in the infinity of his immortality. This made me sad. But, after I thought about it, it made me feel a little happier. The most beautiful flower only blooms for a short time. "Hey, you asked," he smiled, "Are you going to be just as rough on yourself during this pregnancy as the last time?" "I think," I started, "I'm going to check out what's going on with Helgen. But that's it. I'll keep attending classes and getting better with magic." "Say, dear," Sanguine said. "Yes?" "This might sound out of left field." "What is it?" "Do you want to adopt a child?" "Well... why?" "There's a young girl down at Honorhall that's been there since adoptions started. I walk around town sometimes and I notice her, looking sad. Almost all the original orphans from when you murdered that old crone have already been adopted. What do you think?" "I think..." I was going to say he doesn't always think his decisions through. But then instead I said, "Alright, sure. Iona, think you can take care of another couple kids?" Iona stepped in, "I am your sword AND your shield." Sanguine and I looked at each other. Crippling social anxiety makes her say random phrases? "I think, also, we should find a bigger house," Sanguine put his feet up on the table. I nodded, taking a couple of Skyrim Guidebooks off the shelves and flipping through them on the table. "Says here there's a plot available in northern Skyrim," I said, "That's right next to that abandoned shack the Dark Brotherhood kidnapped me in. Could provide easy access when I start working with them again." "What hold?" Sanguine asked. "Ugh," I cringed, "Solitude. I HATE Solitude. But the location is so good. It's right next to the Sea of Ghosts. And we can design it. Ugh... Solitude. I guess I'll work on that. But that will be all for this pregnancy. Maybe if I figure out a better telekinesis spell I can help build it without moving a muscle." Sanguine laughed. I guess I was going to Solitude to do some more 'public service.' But first I would stop off in Windhelm to break the news to Ulfric. I technically could marry two people, due to the new Tenets of Dudestia, but I didn't really want to marry Ulfric. Our relationship was more casual than that. We were friends; war buddies. The sex was convenient. When I arrived, he was brooding on his throne, and I was thinking on what I would say. It'd only been weeks since I saw him, and he seemed not to have made a single move; politically or otherwise, but it seemed like it'd been a while for me. I stood in the doorway, thinking about what was going to happen.
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