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Hey, it's Destana again. Last time I traveled around Skyrim and tied up a lot of loose ends. But this is a special occasion. Now that I established an actual home, I returned to the bedroll under the Honningbrew Meadery and slept there. I was taken to Sanguine's realm, as before. "If it isn't my adherent," he looked up from whipping a young lady, "What brings you here?" I approached him, pulling away the Nightingale armor around my collar. Sanguine blinked, "You're bold. Look at you, wearing an Amulet of Mara. Interested in me, are you?" "What do you say?" I asked, "You're immortal, right? It'll only be until my death do us part. At the very least, come with me to Nirn. You don't get out enough." Sanguine's smile grew slowly, "Do you know what you're asking?" I smiled, "I do." He chuckled, waving his hands, and the realm around us dematerialized. We were standing next to his statue in the caves. Him, in a blue toga in his full daedric form instead of armor. "Are you sure you'd be interested in a life together?" Sanguine asked, "You are interesting company. More than interesting." "I'd be more than interested," I replied. He grinned again, "All of Skyrim... All of Nirn better get ready to stand the fuck aside then." He chuckled like a low rumble. "Let's go to Riften. That's where the chapel is." "Sure. Sure they'll accept a red man like myself?" He asked, then he added, "Well actually, they'll see Sam. I'll meet you there." I stopped off and got a wedding dress, then I made my way to Riften. It wasn't a big ceremony. Up until this point I haven't made my life the type that puts down roots or keeps friends that have an established place in the world. Even this wedding ceremony wasn't exactly normal. I'm sure the Sam disguise looked acceptable and normal, and Sanguine looked good in his blue robes that offset his red daedric skin, that's not what I mean. I mean monogamy was not in our blood. I most certainly was going to continue doing whatever I wanted with my body, and I'm certain he would do the same. This ceremony was a declaration of love, not of ownership. I walked into the ceremony in my red and white wedding dress, looking beautiful. Maramal made a lot of declarations, but I wasn't really listening. "Do you agree to be bound together, in love, now and forever?" He asked at the end. "I do." "And you?" "I do," Sanguine replied. We kissed, and that was that. Maramal gave us rings. "It's a simple ceremony, but it'll do. You're here. That's what is important," Sanguine said as we walked out. "Now, let's go to Honeyside. I just bought it," I smiled, "It may not be up to your normal standards, but, it's what I have for now." "I'd be honored," Sanguine replied, and we went to my house in Riften. Obviously our honeymoon was no different from when we first met. We fucked each other's brains out for four solid days. Iona supplied us with regular food and water. Eventually, though, he learned that I was pregnant. "You know I would've been there for the child whether or not this (marriage) happened, right?" He asked. "I'm not into taking people's decisions away from them," I replied, "If you want to be a father, then that's your choice." After about a week, I decided I was not going to quit adventuring yet. "How'd you like to come with me?" I asked. "Come with you? On your adventures?" He asked. "Yeah. I've been thinking I'm putting myself in far too many dangerous situations. There's a civil war brewing without the bodies to get it off the ground. I need to go catch Mercer before he gets out of Skyrim and is gone forever. There's a lot to do. So I've decided I'm going to start... not an army. An adventuring company? I learned some basic Restoration and Illusion that augments allies, and I think some meat shields would do me good," I pontificated. I had been thinking back to all the possible companions offering their services that I'd seen or heard of in my travels. A number of names came to mind, but I decided I would narrow it down to only a few, and try to maintain some semblance of balance. I would be the back guy, the thief, and perhaps a healing type. Cue the montage music. - I would need at least one more melee fighter. I handed Sanguine the Dragon's Oath as part of our initial planning phase for this. I would wield the Nightingale Blade and daggers for now (if needed). He of course told me he had centuries of combat experience. But he decided for today he was going to sit out the recruiting, "My, this place is atrocious. I'm going to clean up in here." - I needed one or two ranged attackers. After asking around, I realized there was a strange man in the Riften Jail I'd passed on one of my first days in Riften. Somebody in jail was murderhobo/unattached enough for me. I approached the cell. "Thank the gods! You've finally come to kill me!" "Uh... what?" I asked. "My friend, do you not remember me?" ".....What?" I asked again. "I have wronged you terribly. I must insist that you kill me now, even if your memory is a little fuzzy," he said. "Wait... what is your name?" "I am called Inigo the Brave." "Please, instead of me killing you, how about you take a period of service with me?" I asked. He shrugged, "I think I can agree to that." "But wait, you're in prison. Just let me talk to the Jarl. I'm a thane here." "My friend, I can leave anytime. The guards insist I've done nothing wrong, but they told me I could live in this empty jail cell if I paid them a handsome price," Inigo explained. I smiled, chuckling, "You're a strange cat, Inigo. Any good with a sword? Bows even?" "I do a little of that. And I sneak," he replied. "Good. You can have a spot on my team," I said, then I led him to Honeyside. Sanguine and Iona were sitting at the dinner table. "My love, I cooked you a meal," Sanguine said. "There's no human flesh in here is there?" I asked, half-jokingly. "Just a meat pie. Beef. Not human meat," Sanguine said, "You know I value consent. I'd only serve you human meat if you want it." I pursed my lips, storing that information in the vault. "This is really good," Iona was enjoying a piece already. "I am, unfortunately, without equipment," Inigo said. "And naked," I added, then I walked over to my chest. I grabbed my Elven Armor, from back when I started my journey. Then I tossed it to him and he put it on, "Looks good on you." - Then I remembered that woman, a bard and alchemist, who'd been hanging out in the Bannered Mare. I traveled there, leaving Sanguine at home and just taking Inigo to get her. As I approached, she said, "Have you by any chance seen a goodfornothing Nord?" "No." "He and his friend stole something precious to me, and I need to find them before they do something I'll regret." "This is starting to sound like a quest. I hope a short one, because I'm kind of a quest junkie," I took out my log, flipping through it, "And the quest log is getting awfully heavy." "Will you help?" She asked. "Yeah, I'll help. Do you want to be a part of my burgeoning fighting force if I help you?" I asked, "Of course, I'll have to interview your skills when we get to that point." "Uh.. sure," she replied. We headed to the outskirts of Whiterun. - My next recruit kind fell into my lap. By which, I mean... it was an accident, not that she sat in my lap or anything... That comes later. We'd headed to the Whiterun stables to ride over and find those guys who'd taken Vilja's bottle. And... there was a naked woman there just lying unconscious in the stables. Curious (and... wow, she's really hot. Even more than me!!) I decided I would approach. I poked her with my boot. "Oh hey, it's you," her eyes blinked open, "Oh, I mean, I've never met you before. It's not like I've been following you around or something." "On second thought..." I turned. "Wait... I'm injured! Yeah, injured. I might die if you leave me here. Let me come with you." "You look fine to me," I said. Very fine. "Ok, if you let me come with you, I'll make it worth you while." "I guess I could use more backup," I said. "Yeah, and I'm strong and good-looking too!" "And modest," I smirked, "But if you're so strong why do you need my help? And where are your clothes?" "I... have no idea," she folded her arms. But not to hide her nakedness. She seemed to have no problem with that. She continued, "My name is Sofia, by the way." "I'm going to have to give you some armor. Then we're going to help this one get her thing back," I pointed to Vilja. I handed her the Stormcloak Armor. I wasn't going to use it. Maybe I could find her something better later. We walked over to the Meadery, which is where the Vilja's thugs were discussing her bottle. "Is it possible to turn into a donkey if you're cursed?" The big one asked the smaller one. "So you guys stole from a defenseless woman and now you're cursed," I said, "I can take that cursed bottle off your hands, if you like." "Please, take it!" The big one said, handing it to me. Vilja smiled, "That was easy. I guess an explanation is in order. My grandmother ..." I started to zone out during this explanation. "...Morrowind... " I'm not usually rude, but my quest log was already getting really full. "...Eldergleam Sanctuary..." "Wait, I think I've been there!" I said. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure that was true. But whatever, I offered to go with her there. But first, I was going to take care of rounding out this group! - I still needed a tank. I asked around and looked at my quest log at the hundreds of things I'd written down I picked up over the months here. One note in particular pointed me to a battle-hardened old woman named Shirley who was a veteran of the Great War. THE Great War. The one with the White-Gold Concordant. Heavily armored, two handed weapons. Lots of battle experience. She'd be perfect. She'd been living alone for a number of years at a house in the mountains. Let me tell you, it was not an easy climb. I walked into her house, my entourage already getting somewhat large. She was sitting there in her living room, wearing a purple old dress. "Afternoon travelers, what brings you out here to the boonies?" "I heard you have a lot of experience. I'm forming a fighting force," I said. "Oh sure, sure. I've forgotten more things about war and combat than most people know," Shirley said. I thought she might take a little convincing, so I added, "I'm a pretty good adventurer, but these days, I need protection. See..." I looked down at my stomach. "I understand, honey," she said. "Of course, everybody gets a cut of the spoils," I explained. "Problem is, a nasty group of bandits made off with my sword and bow." I smiled, "Now that's a quest I can get behind. I'll be back." It was close. We were on a mountain, so I casted slow fall and jumped down, running the plains to Silent Moons Camp. With Inigo, Sofia, Vilja and myself, we decimated the bandits there. As we overcame them I grabbed the best pieces off each bandit, grabbing an elven shield for Inigo, a bandit shield, boots and gloves for Sofia, and a full suit of Nordic Plate armor. When we returned, Shirley clapped me on the back. Half war hero, half grandma. She grabbed some steel plate armor, laying it out orderly in front of her. Then she turned, pulling off the purple dress (still in underwear). And man... grandma was jacked! Despite being old, she was covered in muscle and scars! "Wow!" One of the group said. "I try to stay in shape," the old lady chuckled. I stopped her from suiting up, taking out the Nordic Plate, "Here, think of it as an advance. The Bandit Chief was wearing it." "Pretty neat fringe benefits!" She chuckled. Then I handed held out her enchanted greatsword and her bow covered in leaves and vines. "Ready," she said. "Now for the final piece we're going to go get find Mercer Frey. Think of this as your test run. To the victor goes the spoils." We traveled to Riften, it having been a couple days of travel gathering this group. I walked into Honeyside again with my entourage. Sanguine was waiting there, "You have quite the group. About to go on adventure?" "Yeah. We're going to ... Irk... whatever, a ruin. There are two more waiting for me there so I think I'm going to leave you and Iona here for this one," I explained. "Me coming was an option?" Iona asked. "Just have a bite to eat and I'll be waiting," Sanguine smiled, "Oh, and I may have some business to take care of from time to time in Oblivion, so don't expect me to be here 24 hours a day." "Of course, you're an important man." I dipped into my camping skills and constructed a four person tent and bedrolls and set it up for them, as there weren't enough beds for everyone. We set out for ... the ruin in the morning, fighting some bandits at the entrance, then finding more dead inside. Brynjolf and Karliah were waiting for me just past them. To be honest, we steamrolled the dungeon. I kept Rally up on the group and hung back with bow (and crossbow) while they did the dirty work. We got to the end of the Falmer and Dwemer tech and found Mercer prying the eyes of the Falmer out of a giant snow elf statue. "You can't get the drop on me, Karliah!" Mercer turned to find me, Brynjolf, Karliah, Inigo, Sofia, Vilja, and Shirley waiting for him. A storm of arrows before he turned invisible. "Trying to escape?" I shouted, "You were a fool to think we weren't going to bring backup. If the rest of the guild weren't a bunch of sneakthieves who avoid combat I'd've brought them too." One of the arrows somebody'd hit him with was sticking out of his invisible body and he stuck out like a sore thumb. I snuck while Sofia and Brynjolf engaged him and I started to lay into him from the back. I got the feeling this was meant to be a duel, but we trounced him. Justice/Revenge is a bitch. The place filled up with water but we got out of there. "Damn guys, that was a rousing success," I said. I turned to Karliah, "I'm going to take the Skeleton Key back now, but I have a couple stops to make first." Of course, secretly, I kept that thing for a WHILE. I still had a Thieves' Guild to make great again. "I'll be back at the guild, lass," Brynjolf said. "Of course," I turned to my guys, "You guys did great. I'm going to divvy out the spoils when we get back to Riften. How about a bonus job? We're actually only a short walk from it." We headed to Korvanjund. Time to get Ulfric his damn crown. "So you finally arrived," Galmar turned, "Oh." "I brought some friends," I smirked, "We're going to steamroll this place." "Damn imperials are trying to get in. I wonder if it's the same reason we are. No matter. Ready to kick some Imperial ass?" Galmar asked. "Hell yeah, brother!" I shouted, casting Rally on the whole group. We stormed the Draugr-filled ruin to find Imperial Soldiers there ahead of us. And the draugr seemed strong and more numerous that I would've expected. At the end, we had the Jagged Crown. We returned to Windhelm to deliver it to Ulfric Stormcloak. I found him in his bedchamber. "Damn, the old bear was right!" Ulfric sat up in his bed, "I need you to deliver this axe to Jarl Baalgruf of Whiterun. He'll know what it means." I smirked. "Is there a Ms. Stormcloak?" I asked "No, why do you ask?" He asked back. I was on a high from all that violence, so I acted on it. I'm fairly certain Sanguine has been watching me throughout. I decided I would take a detour to Riften to pick him up, though, before I went to Whiterun.

Hey, it's me. Destana. Ever had a life-changing experience that basically told you to keep doing what you're doing but gave you a purpose? I had that last time. I would go find a way to contact Sanguine again in the future, but for now, it was time to return to the guild. I walked through the gates and to the Bee and Barb. Maven accepted the papers, but it didn't give us a lead as to who was trying to buy the meadery. My reward: an Orcish Dagger of Freezing. I grinned. This would pair well with Dragon's Oath on my main hand. Fire and Ice. I went through the front entrance to the sewers to the flagon. "You! Stop right there!" A man shouted. "Uh what?" "Pay us a toll or get gutted!" Another man brandished an axe. "I'm with the guild," I said, realizing I'd been going through the grave or the grate by the stables every time I came through here except for the first time. The bridge was now raised and these men were threatening me, "You guys were so nice a couple months ago when I came through here." "Oh, it's you," they put their weapons away, "Want us to lower the bridge?" "It's okay. I'll go through the graveyard," I backtracked up to the city again, and immediately got plugged by an arrow. "What the..." I reflexively crouched behind the railing. I looked over to who had been shooting me. Dawnguard? "I'm not a vampire!" I shouted, but the man said nothing, reloading what I realized was a crossbow. I peered over to the guards, who seemed to be either not paying attention or waiting to see how this played out. I dashed for the graveyard and slammed the gate behind me. I narrowed my eyes, "No, I'm not going to take this." I turned and opened the gate, shot at him with an Elven Bow and arrow combination. When he fired back, I'd swung the gate closed again. "You're a bitch!" I shouted, "Shouldn't have attacked me!" I swung the gate open again and let loose another arrow, then shut it as he fired back. Finally, he went around the other side and shot at me from behind. I used terrain to my advantage to get close to him, took out my fire and ice combo while he took out his waraxe. I used a death by a thousand cuts strategy as he tired himself out only doing power attacks until he showed signs that his poise was running out, then I moved in and double-slashed him across the chest. I searched his person. "I wonder why this is a thing...?" I found no note on him, or anything strange. Maybe he thought I was a vamp or something? Well, anyway, free crossbow, and some steel bolts. Having never seen anyone carrying either of these, I knew I'd have to save them. Anyway... I went down the graveyard entrance and took a much needed nap (accommodating as he was, Sanguine's realm wasn't all that comfortable). When I walked out to the bar in the flagon, it was after midnight. I fenced some things with Tonilia (who was up unusually late) and then decided I would poke around. I went into the large bunkroom, thinking I might find Brynjolf in here, though when I got there I realized he was probably sleeping in the Cistern - if he was sleeping. Only one person was actually asleep here. Vex. I walked over to her. I bit my lip. I was thinking about the cockamamie job she and Delvin put me through. I scratched my chin as I looked on her. What would Sanguine do(WWSD)? Spread debauchery. I gently pulled her pants off and went down, trying to pleasure her into not wanting to resist before she fully woke up. By the time her eyes were open, she was moaning, it was dark, and she didn't seem to mind it. Once we got into it we both pulled our clothes off and I flipped over and rubbed mine against hers. When we both finished, she said, "I was going to teach you this one anyway. Seducing women and stealing from them while they're occupied." She laid back down and passed out. Had she realized I'd stolen her Guild Master Boots off the floor when I sped out of there? She never mentioned it again, so, I guess not? I'm the one getting my feet wet and my hands dirty all the time. I went over to the cistern then. Mercer accepted the news with a bit of anger, and then told me next I would be going to Solitude to shake down the guy who he thinks is responsible. Ugh... Solitude. I headed over to the bar in the flagon to accept all Vex and Delvin's quests again, this time it seemed free from funny business. "Oi," Delvin said, pointing to the seat across from him, "Want to practice your seduction skills?" I sat, "What do you mean?" "When you're sucking a man's cock, he'll be hard-pressed to notice you're taking his coinpurse. If you handle the coinpurse correctly that is." I smirked, "Been talking to Vex?" "Always," he sneered back, "You had a go with her, how about me?" "Alright," I said. I led him to the bunkroom and gave him a blowjob. He complimented me on my skills. When we came back to the bar, though, I blinked. Half the people had paired off and were having sex now. Vekel and Vex, Ethelinda (the barmaid) and Dirge, Tonilia and Arius. Sanguine, was this your doing? I smiled. When Vex came up from fucking she said to me, "So, how about it?" "How... about what?" I asked, puzzled. "I heard you wanted to be the guild's cumdump." I nearly immediately said no. Then I opened my mouth and said, "Yes, I want to be the cumdump for the guild. Let all the members or associates fuck me." "Well, I guess that's possible. If you know what you're getting into," she smiled, "You just go on your next mission and when you get back, I'll have let everyone know." I blinked. I... didn't mean to say that. But I felt almost like it was the only thing I *could've* said. Strangely, I didn't correct her. I just turned around, bought some food and drink from still naked Vekel, fenced the rest of my goods with Tonilia (I often have to split this up because I am kindof a kleptomanic packrat), shelled out more than a thousand gold to Arius (Ugh, just take the money) to clear my bounty from Solitude, then climbed out the grate by the stables. I tried not to think about what I had just done. When I arrived in Solitude, I decided not to waste time and went right to my target. He was sitting in an alcove, away from prying eyes. "Let me guess, by your smell you're from the guild," Gulum-Ei said. "I'm here about Goldenglow," I said. "Don't know what you're talking about," he said. "You can drop the act, Gulum Ei," I said. "Oh, wait... did you say Goldenglow Estate? My apologies. I'm sorry to say I know very little about that... bee farm, was it?" He asked. "You acted as a broker for its new owner." "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. I can't be expected to remember every deal I handle." "Identify the buyer and we'll forget what we know," I said. "No way. I'm keeping my hands clean," he replied. Dammit. "Give me the buyer's name or I'll kill you," I gritted my teeth. "Hasn't Mercer Frey taught you people anything? You kill me and your only contact with the East Empire Company vanishes. That's not smart for business." Talos' bones! Either I need more training in persuasion or this guy isn't going to budge. I sighed. My jaw is getting tired. I leaned forward, letting my breasts dangle even in the Thieves' Guild armor and rubbed the front of his trousers with my hand, "Nobody needs to know what you told me." "I'm not telling you..." He groaned a little as I took the dick out of his trousers and started to lick it. I was quick, and we weren't seen. When I was done he said, "Well now that I'm satisfied, I bid you good day." He stood and started to walk off. I swallowed the load, my face contorting with rage. I put my hands on my weapons, but a little voice in my head said, 'If you kill him, you won't get anywhere.' I nodded to the voice, realizing I could just follow him. I took a deep breath and crept out at a safe distance. I followed to the East Empire Warehouse, which I expected. I wasn't sure if he knew he was being followed, but this just got a lot harder. As he went deeper into the Warehouse, I noted they seemed to have a lot of guards. I climbed up onto a platform as I watched Gulum-Ei, and when he passed by a guard passed by the other way. I waited a minute, then dropped and slit that one's throat. Hey, danger in the line of duty. If you're put off by random murder, then there's plenty more where that came from. I crept forward, walking up stairs to the side (to check if there were guards watching from up above) and I found a sleeping loft. One guy asleep. Well, it had taken me all day and half the night to get here so it was night-time again. I crept past him to find a man sitting at a table, counting money with his back to me. I walked forward to knock him out and he got up, drawing a sword. Damn. Well, I slashed him a couple times and like a noble he went down, but I hadn't killed him. So I bound and gagged him. I reached into the chest next to him to find... 8000 gold!! One wonders where I would put all this. And on his person was another 2000 gold. Infact, the chest seemed to be holding much more than I could carry so I looked for the most valuable and/or useful things and swiped them. And... I guess I would call this a consolation prize, I got on top of him and fucked him. Then I tied him so tight he'd need help to escape. I crept past the sleeping man again and shot another guard with my bow and one of my best arrows. He closed the distance and I jumped out from behind a small ship and daggered him in the back. I got the last guard in a similar way to the first one, then followed the trail into Deepwater Grotto. As I entered, two men were talking - Bandits, rather than the guards I'd encountered before. Was I even going the right way? Why would the East Empire Company employ bandits? Maybe not as wholesome as they might seem. And I like that in my mind, I was justified in what I was doing. I drew an arrow and shot the little guy, an Archer. A second arrow to his head sent him dead in the water. But the other guy was nearly at me now. Some kind of bandit champion, he bowled me over with a greatsword. I got up, found myself fighting and losing against this brute Orc. After only a few swipes he knocked me off my feet again, stripping the weapons from my hands and then stripping my trousers. I fought the urge to yell as he got on top of me and thrust into me. But knew if there was a chance of me moving forward I'd need to let him get what he wanted. "You're a fool and I'm going to kill you," I whispered as he fucked me from behind. When he was done several minutes later, he sheathed his sword and put back on his armor, going to pick his companion out of the water. Delvin and Vex, you have taught me well, though this tactic is my own. I snuck over to him, still naked with my dagger in hand, and jumped on his shoulders, digging dagger into his throat. He collapsed into the water. If he was alive before, now he was also drowned. Gritting my teeth, I redressed and pressed on. I found two paths: a bridge and a path of spider webs. I used Flames to burn my way through, and got the giant spider inside with an arrow. On the other side, I ripped through the web with my sword and stabbed a bandit woman in the back. Her partner, a man, came at me with a sword, but found himself wanting against my superior skill (hah, right. If only they could all go that way.) and went down easy. Next segment. Somehow I slipped up because the whole group heard me coming and drew weapons. I noted that the archer was going out to the bridge adjacent to get a better shot at me and not approach. Smart. I hid around an outcropping and waited for the warrior, a barely clothed woman to turn the corner. When she did, I slashed her up with a combo from two weapons. She turned and ran, and I fired an arrow in her back. I turned to find a Dog swimming to shore next to me (obviously the archer's pet) and plugged him as well. Then I turned to the archer, who'd already hit me once. We played the strafe game as he walked back across the bridge, we trading bowshots back and forth. We each got a good shot or two in and as he rounded a stone pillar, eyes still on me he set off a log trap and it swung into his chest, pulverizing him and he fell into the water, dead. "My gods," I said. As I looted, I realized it wasn't just me that'd killed the dog. He'd also hit a bear trap as he came onto shore. I laughed out loud. Somebody is looking out for me. And the final bit I found a stone plateau on the right with a small boat in the water. There was a stone pillar and deep behind the pillar was a set of cages, supplies, and Gulum-Ei. Three guards. I hid behind the face of the plateau for the first guard to come out, then stabbed him in the back, dumping him in the water. The second guard was far enough away he didn't hear, but when he came towards me I broke my stealth because he was a friggin ghost. We fought, but the went down in seconds. Not a very good ghost. Now he's double dead, I guess? What do you pay a ghost in, ghost money? The third one was an archer. I jumped up onto the plateau and snuck behind the huge shelves full of loot and plugged him with arrows. When he finally was able to figure out where I was, I already had three arrows in him and the fourth took him down. This was a good day (well, except that one, but I don't think about that). I strode up to Gulum-Ei, "Give me the deed. I'll decide if I'm going to kill you in a minute." "No need to be hasty!" He forked it over, "It's Karliah who's doing all this. I didn't even know it was her until after she'd already set the plan in motion." "Who?" "He really hasn't told you anything, has he?" Gulum-Ei said, "She's the one who got the former guildmaster killed." "Alright," I silently wondered why they weren't giving me the full story. "So you gonna let me live?" He asked. "Sure. But next time a lady sucks your dick, be more forthcoming," I said through gritted teeth. I looted everything of value, then walked out and traveled back to Riften. Too many of these trips across the whole of Skyrim were leaving me dog tired. I slept again, this time it seemed like for a day and a half. When I got up, I felt terrible. It was about sunset again. I figured maybe I would take a stroll around Riften, like a normal person rather than the murderhobo I was. I thought maybe I would go to the shrine and get a blessing and it might cure my ailment, but I found myself at the entrance to the Honorhall Orphanage. And I couldn't remember I was asked to do something here. I figured I'd go inside. Children could be fun. It might ease my feelings. As I stepped in and stood in the doorway, I could hear an old woman talking to the children. "None of you will be adopted, you worthless wretches. You'll always be here. Get used to it. Now go to bed!" She said. I peered around the corner. Grelod the Kind, she was named. And now I remembered. That kid in Windhelm wanted me to kill this woman. Gods, she kept talking. She was horrible, berating them. Telling them they were worthless. But she took care of them. Why? Maybe... funded by the Jarl? Oh my gods, the idea was already in my head. I was already thinking about how to kill her. As I looked upon them, I noticed a younger woman who seemed to be consoling them and helping them as they went to bed. She was the *real* kind one here. Maybe I didn't need to kill the old woman. Maybe I could use some magic and scare her into being a better person. I... didn't really know a lot of magic, and that seemed like it would backfire. Maybe I could give her a savage beating. But, still, brittle bones. I sighed. Okay. I would wait until she went to bed. Then I would feed her poison. Something to keep her from suffering. Gods, I put my hands on my face, I was really going to do this. I waited a few minutes for all the little eyes to shut, then I quietly crept to the backroom, like a Saturnalia elf bringing presents in the form of murder. I shut the door behind me and went through my pack. Aversion to Frost, Aversion to Shock, Weak Stamina. Dammit. I pulled out my sword. In for a silver, in for a septim. This was going to get messy. I stabbed her cleanly and swiftly and she let out a groan. I darted to the cubby with her desk. Just as I expected, the children hadn't been asleep after all. They rushed in. Dammit. Fuck. I don't know why I did this. I looked at my pack again. Limited Invisibility. That would work. I drank it and snuck past them, closing the door behind me, and sprinted out the front door. Aventus, it is your lucky day my friend. I couldn't tell you what on that day compelled me to do that, but I was still feeling sick, so I walked to the temple of Mara. I got the blessing, and I still felt like garbage. I sat down at a pew for a few minutes. "Oh, congratulations!" A dunmer woman said. Dinya Balu. She was the wife of the head priest, and a priestess of mara. "Excuse me?" I asked, "Are you mocking me? I feel like shit." "No, no. Are you telling me you don't know? And you came here just by coincidence?" Dinya asked. "What are you talking about?" "Oh, praise Mara! A miracle! You're pregnant!" ".... what?" I asked. I imagine I didn't have an ounce of happiness about my face. "I mean, if it's unwanted, we have things to take care of that," Dinya said, "Discreetly." I shook my head, "No." I sat there for a moment. Puzzled that I'd messed up mentally tracking my cycle, and not sure what to do. "Tell me," I turned to her again, "Are you able to tell who the father is?" Dinya blinked. Then she smiled again, not trying to judge, I'd wager, "Simple." She concentrated a few seconds, then she tilted her head, "I'm not sure how to tell you this..." "Tell me what?" "No, really, I mean, I don't know what to tell you," Dinya replied, "It's as if the father... doesn't want me to know. What kind of man possesses that kind of oddly specific power?" For the first time in this conversation, I smiled, "I know who." It made sense. He fucked me probably twenty times while I was there for only a couple days. And maybe supernatural sperm does whatever the fuck it wants. Maybe it can wait around until I'm fertile. Maybe it can just get things started without my body even being at the right phase. Who knows. I stood, hungry grin on my face. "Where are you off to?" Dinya asked. "To find the father and tell him the good news," I said, then I turned, "Hey. I need a Necklace of Mara." "Amulet of Mara, and of course," Maramal said, trading the septims for the necklace, "Should we expect you back here within a few days?" "...Maybe," I said back, smiling as I walked out. Dinya blinked again, waving, maybe realizing that this was not your garden-variety happiness. As I suited back up in my traveling clothes I racked my brain about something that'd long laid dormant in my quest log that seemed to be screaming at me now. I flipped through the tome to find, 'A Night to Remember.' To explain myself, I had a quirky way of logging each event that happened with a memorable title until I saw something through to completion. A Night to Remember was the time when I just joined the Thieves Guild and I woke up in the Temple of Dibella after a night of drinking. And at once, I experienced a brain blast. Sam Guivenne! He had the same damned face as Sanguine and the name sounded the goddamn same! I got on a carriage to Markarth, to travel by horse to Rorikstead (I was stacked enough now I could buy 20 horses), the place I'd been blabbing about when I woke up from my night of revelry with Sam. I'm going to show my cleverness now and sweep that bastard off his feet.

Hey, it's me again, Destana. At this point in my quest, I was pretty plugged in to the Thieves' Guild. They had my back, and I was getting pretty damn proficient at lockpicking, sneaking and stealing. And no slouch at stabbing and shooting. As long as I got the drop on someone I usually didn't have much trouble with them. I felt like I took the long way around, and did a bunch before I even really got started with the guild. And now this was going to be a test to go to Aringlow Estate. They had an army of mercenaries, as I could see from across the river, so I would need to approach this with a bit of finesse. Vex told me there was a grate to the sewers. I looked for it during the day from across the waters, sure not to arouse suspicion. I wait until night. I could feel this coming together. First, I made my way to the south end through the water, sneaking up behind the wooden fence and readying a basic Flames spell. I threw down some quick fires and jumped back into the water, hoping that would keep their attention. Indeed, most of them ran towards the fire to try and stop it, to no avail. As I surfaced near the grate, I saw one of them whose eyes had been following me as I swam. Good eye dude, but he was still looking for where I came out. I gritted my teeth, this one would be trouble. I bet at the time he was going to yell. I took out my Hunting Bow silently and nocked one of my new Ebony Arrows, peeked my head over the rocks and fired an arrow. It hit a vital and he gasped, nearly dropped with the first shot. He was choking on his own blood now. I let loose a second arrow and finished him. Then I turned and opened the secret entrance. I shot a few skeevers with my bow, then one of the foul creatures tripped a giant flame trap. This killed half a dozen of them and saved me from having to avoid the trap. Always play your enemies against each other, master strategy. When I came out of the sewer I realized I probably could've just climbed up here, but it was worth it to see the massive Skeever blunders. I picked the extremely hard lock on the back door, turned a corner and walked upstairs. I considered not killing anyone in this job, but the guild did say they were lowlifes and fairgame. One resting against a post with his back to me got a dagger in the side, and the one right outside Aringoth's room heard him getting eviscerated. Great. I took out my bow again. I could hear him walking my way, as bloody normals didn't try to hide their sounds at all. I got around behind him and let loose an arrow, sticking it in his side. He came after me, boasting that he would gut me. I drew sword and dagger and gave him a quick slash. He thrusted toward me, but I backed just out of his reach, then I gave him another slash across the chest and a knife to the throat. Finally I popped the lock on Aringoth's door and there he was, standing next to his bed. "Damn mercenaries. What do I even pay them for," he said sardonically. "Nothing, seems like. Give me your safe key. Not that I need it, but it would make this a little easier," I smiled sweetly. "A true professional. But I'm not giving you my key. You might as well kill me if I hand this over," he replied. "What if I did kill you? Then took the key off your body," I asked. "I know that's not your way. I'm too valuable to you alive," he replied. "Well, I didn't want to resort to this," I smirked, pulling the Guild armor over my head. "Oh, wow. Well, damn. I uh... an even trade then?" "An even trade. Whatever you want," I nodded. Never been with a Bosmer. "You can have the key," he grinned as I took my slacks off. And of course, he fucked me in the ass. Never say they can do what they want. I mean, unless you like it that way. I am okay with it, I guess. At any rate, I dressed again. I took the golden bee statue off his end table, not even hiding it, and the sack of coins off the table. Then I went back downstairs. By this time, I figured if he had an alarm, it would be sounding. The key would make the safe faster. I turned a corner to find a guard strolling my way, so I hung out in the middle room with a large table, pulling out my weapons. After seconds I heard the footsteps getting farther away. So I hopped across the hallway, popped the lock on iron barred door and went to the basement. Slipping silently through the next room, I approached the guard sitting alone at a chair looking towards the safe but with his back to the entrance. Seriously, why do this? I walked up to him and he jerked back, drawing a greataxe. Damn! I pulled out sword and dagger. After a few moments of difficult combat (but really these great weapon guys are just too slow) I looted the room including the deed the guild wanted. I dropped down to the sewer from the basement entrance and traveled back to the guild via the lake via the sewer. Not too bad. "Great job lass," Brynjolf said, "Maven Black-Briar wants to talk to you. A special job." I smirked. I was making a name for myself. I took my pay and decided I would forego sleep after having stayed up all night and go see Maven immediately. To the Bee and Barb! I played the Lute for a few minutes while Shaed sung (the resident bard, also, hot in her blue robes that show off everything). Then I went upstairs to meet her, the queenpin. An aged woman sat at the table upstairs, "So you're the one. You don't look like much." "That's part of my charm. I lull them into a false sense of security," I smirked a crooked smile. She unamusedly raised an eyebrow, "Very well. I need you to go to Whiterun and get in contact with Mallus Maccius at the Bannered Mare. He'll have more details for you." I nodded, "I'll get it done." Though, I'd never been to Whiterun. I came out of the grate near the stables, only to find the guards with weapons drawn, rushing towards the wilderness. Intrigued, I drew my bow and followed. Once I crested the hill, I realized, bandits were attacking the stables. The guards handled them without too much trouble. The most interesting part though was when all the male bandits had fallen, and once of the guards pulled a female bandit into the bushes and started to have his way with her. Strangely, I hadn't really thought about that as an option. If I was in a different mood I might've done something about it, but I didn't. I bought a horse from the stables (now that I had some money to burn) and was off down the road. I traveled until the afternoon and came upon a hunter's camp off in the wilderness. I figured it might be a good place to rest next to, so I got off my horse. Immediately, the sounds of shouting. I drew my bow and aimed. The hunters were being attacked by two bears. I kept low and flung some Ebony and Elven Arrows at the beasts. One of them went down (and one of the hunters). The other one came charging after me, so I drew sword and dagger again. The first thing I remember is the bear swiping at my horse, who charged off. I got low again and slashed him up in the backside. Thankfully the hunter (and my arrows) made a solid dent in the thing, because he went down only giving me one good hit. But damn, it hurt. I potioned up and scanned the area for my horse. Sigh. Gone. There's a thousand gold in the trash. I sheathed my weapons and walked over to the camp to find one hunter dead at the camp, and another dead next to the bear. I shook my head. "Well, no use letting this go to waste," I said as I packed up their camp and took their arrows, an Elven Bow and some food. I skinned the bears and hoofed it towards Whiterun, determined to reach it before night fell. I entered the gate without any trouble as it started to get dark. I walked down the main drag, passing an Imperial soldier asking for more weapons production from the local blacksmith woman. Some 'Dawnguard' guy accosted me, but I have no interest in killing vampires. Sounds messy. I stepped into the Bannered Mare, which was fairly packed (with four barmaids, and a woman named Vilja in the corner) and I went to each of them and talked until I found the innkeeper and busted out a song from Morrowind I'd learned from a songbook. Two men were brawling when I started, and by the end they were cheering. People danced, people clapped, people liked my playing. Maybe that could be my retirement plan - be a bard. Anyway, I found Mallus sitting at the table in an adjacent firepit room. "You the contact? You're not very inconspicuous," he said, "Let's make this quick, we have a lot to do." "What's the job?" I asked. "You're going to poison Honningbrew Meadery's mead. Sabjorn is going to give the poison to you." "Clever." "Right. You're the exterminator. He'll give you the poison to take care of a rats' nest. You put some in the meadery too." "Why do this?" "I made the mistake of borrowing money from Sabjorn. Now he's working my fingers to the bone to pay it off. After all this is over, I get to have my debt cleared, and be the new man in charge at Honningbrew." I walked over to Honningbrew. Surprisingly, there were still a few patrons even though a dead Skeever laid between me and Sabjorn as I entered the door. "Are you the guy?" I nodded. "I suppose you want to get paid some upfront. I'll pay you when the job's done." "Give me half or I yell Skeever," I growled. "Alright, here's some gold. And the poison. Just make them go away," he replied. I'm surprised that worked. There was a Skeever in the middle of the floor. Knowing he wasn't going to pay me at all when he found out what I was doing, I said, "C'mon, couldn't you pay me the whole thing now?" "No. What's to stop you from running off after I pay you?" I thought for a second, and then decided on picking a weapon from my persuasion arsenal. "I'd let you have sex with me if you pay me the whole sum now." "The Captain is coming to taste test the mead really soon! I don't have time for that!" "We can make it quick," I smiled, "Just go as hard and fast as you want. Ten minutes, tops." "Arrgh, fine," he handed over the rest of the gold, and I strolled into the meadery, shutting the door behind us. I went down and sucked a little, getting it wet, then he fucked me. The wench that I'd not noticed standing in the opposite corner of the meadery between the barrels started to masturbate as she watched us. I gave her a wink as I got up and went into the rat caves. Bow at the ready, I shot the first skeever and found he was stronger and poison! I took out my sword and dagger and slashed through the first three within seconds. I blasted myself with basic healing, waiting for the poison to subside. This pattern went on for a few caves. I shot skeevers and spiders with the power of sneak, their fellows would charge at me and I would waste them in melee. Until finally a slightly larger cave opened up to me, with a giant statue on the far end. I shot the skeever in the room and walked over to it. "Well hello, who is this fellow?" I said out loud. A daedra sitting on a throne holding an overflowing mug with three naked women performing various carnal acts upon him. I reached up and touched the statue. "Wow, this is really life-like," I said to myself. What I hadn't noticed - there was a small bed sprawled out in front of the statue. I blinked, looking at the statue. I WAS tired. I'd stayed up on my last job and just powered through and I was feeling pretty rough. "I'll kill you!" A man shouted from the next tunnel and started aiming Flames in my general direction, though missing me wildly because of the statue. I took out my bow and shot him a couple times, "Dude. Are you even hitting me? Why are you attacking me?" He rushed at me like a half-naked madman and I impaled him on my sword. I shook my head. Living amongst the rats made him crazy, I guess. Next to me was the nest, which I covered in poison, then I looted what goods he had, and a random chest nearby. Mostly garbage. Then I looked back over to the statue. I squinted, "No... not right now. This place still has baddies in it. And I gotta finish the job first." At once I realized I was explaining myself to a statue. I thought to myself I could probably finish the job and come back for a nap later. Then I realized... why am I planning this out? I could sleep in an actual bed if I left here, did the job and just went to the Bannered Mare! I shook my head, continuing up the tunnel. I reached a cellar, got clipped (but not trapped) by a bear trap and set off the other one manually. I threw some Healing on myself again. Then I emerged into the boilery, poisoning all the mead. From there I just unlocked the door with the hanging key and walked back over to the meadery proper to see the fruits of my labor, sitting at the bar. It was a few minutes before the barmaid came back after having tapped one of the poisoned mead barrels, at which point the commander showed up to taste the mead. "Now that your pest problem is cleared up, I'm going to sample this," he said, taking a big drink. Immediately, he spat it in Sabjorn's face. "This tastes like garbage. I'm going to see you're clapped in irons for the rest of your days!" "I...I don't understand," Sabjorn muttered. He didn't have time to suspect anything. The Commander drew his sword and threatened the guy, and he was slapped in irons by the commander's men right outside the door. He turned to Mallus, "You work here, right? Take charge of the meadery until we can sort this out." "With pleasure," Mallus said. He waited until they were gone, saying to me, "Good work. The guild is definitely on it's way back up with people like you in it." "I need to see who the deed got signed over to," I said, remembering what Brynjolf said. I charged up to his office on the second floor with key in hand and looked through his papers, grabbing what the guild needed. While I was here... I smiled, getting to work on his personal room and lockbox. "Hey!" A voice shouted as I was pulling the loot into my bag. Had somebody followed me up to the room? As I ran out of there, I found one of the barmaids, gawking. Rather than kill her (she seemed innocent and this would probably damper my relationship with the meadery) I hopped over the rail back into the barrel room again and ran down to the rat caves again. This time it was an easy jog to get through - I'd already killed anything that could threaten me. And no normal person would chase me down here, even the guards if they were alerted. That's why they hire people like me to do the dirty work. Before I knew it, I was back at the damned statue. I shrugged. I was definitely even more exhausted now than I had been before, so I laid down. What the heck. Sometimes you gotta tempt fate. When I awoke, as I half-expected, I was somewhere else. Some form of glade, but... strange. The plants were purple, the light strange and alien. I looked down to find my naked, scarred body. "How in the hell did you get my symbol?" A voice said from behind me. I whipped around to find a red-skinned man in a toga. "Who are you? Where am I?" I asked, not bothered by my nakedness at all now. "You are Destana. I am in my realm of Oblivion," he smirked, speaking in soft tones, "Oh, I'm sorry. I am Sanguine." "Did you say Oblivion?" I was well-traveled, but I'd never been to another dimension before. "Don't be so surprised. I have complete control over this realm. It can be as nice or not-nice as I feel like. Right now I've got the setting turned to about medium," Sanguine said, starting to walk. I followed. "What... do you mean by your symbol?" "Look at your ass you trollop," he chuckled. I tried, but couldn't. So I bent down over the strangely colored river flowing through his realm. On my left buttcheek, a Sanguine Rose. I laughed out loud as I rushed to catch up with him, "You're quite the trickster aren't you? What if I didn't want this tattoo?" "Be my adherent and it'll stay. Choose to go on your own path and it'll fade away. Simple as that. Maybe... three days, tops," he sat down on a throne not unlike the one in the cave. I also realized he was a great deal more attractive than the cave statue. Less daedric, but still horny. I mean... with horns. "So you're horny then? Or that supposed to be me?" He smiled. As I walked up to him I noticed several people in chains, one in a cage, one on a kind of rack. I raised an eyebrow, "You're torturing these people?" "Oh please, they can leave anytime," Sanguine smirked, "They're here of their own volition. Want to taste a little? I know you may be a little scared because of your past experiences." I looked around at the chains and was silent for a moment. There was something enticing about the experience. "I can stop anytime?" Sanguine nodded, "The safeword is kumquat." "Okay." He smiled a large, devilish grin. I remember it being several hours before I wanted to stop. He locked me up, moved me around as he needed and applied gentle tortures to me. He fucked me over and over again. It was amazing. Eventually, he locked me in a cage with a soft, feather bed. I was still tired, and he seemed to know that. As I laid down I said to him, "So what does being your adherent mean, anyway?" "Just keep doing the things you're doing. So many people are afraid of pleasure. They call it debauchery. Well, I've reclaimed the term. It is now mine. You are to spread it around the world. When you wake up, I'll send you on your merry way." "So it wasn't your plan to keep me here? Trap me in your daedric realm." "Gods, no. I need you out there, fucking the daylights out of people," Sanguine chuckled. I fell asleep soundly. In the morning, I woke in a field and he was there, standing over me. He helped me up and wrapped me in his arms, then I hugged him from the back. He handed me my pack, and he was gone. For now. I silently swore to myself I would find him again. I dressed and looked at my map, and realized I wasn't that far from Riften. Talos' bones, Sanguine knew me already. I smiled, heading for the guild.

Hey, it's Destana again. Despite having a generally bad time in Solitude, I decided to go back. You know those times when something goes really right (even against very bad odds) for somebody who's completely mad and they judge it to be the will of the gods that they performed the action that led them down that path? This could've been that moment for me. In a sense. This is a stealth mission. When I woke up (it was before the farmer and his wife awoke) I threw on my gauntlets and boots. My body armor was somewhere in one of the ruins. And most of my odds and ends were in Solitude Prison. My reason for going back wasn't just to get my gear though. It wasn't just a test of my stealth skills now (though I viewed it that way). I wanted the damned Jailer dead. I grabbed a set of basic clothes, some gold and some food from the farmer (sorry farmer). Then I headed back to Solitude. It took another day or so to travel there, but I knew the landmarks so it seemed quicker this time. By the time I got there it was early in the morning. Which, as a thief, was a great time to be doing what I was going to be doing. I scoped out the city itself - on a great arch. I thought to myself it might be possible to scale the side and get in via the wall. I would just need rope to make rope arrows. I walked along the path between the city and the East Empire docks until I saw a small opening, which... led to a door. This had promise. I grinned, swallowing and steeling myself. It was locked, with a fairly difficult lock, taking me about an hour and at least 20 lockpicks breaking in the lock before I got in (good practice). I climbed up to find I was inside a tower on the wall. I walked up the stairs and I was on a small bridge between the wall and the castle. Really? This is the security in this place? Anyway, I jumped down onto the wall, nearly losing my balance, then slinked over to the back of Radiant Raiment. The roof was butted up against the wall, so it was easy. "Hey, how's it going?" One guard said to another, and I darted to the back of Radiant Raiment's roof. "Oh, you know. The waiting. It's sooo boring," the other guard said. I weighed my options. I opened up my journal and remembered what had brought me here in the first place. 1. Retrieve the Copper and Moonstone Circlet from Radiant Raiment. Okay. That would be easy. I would wait for the guards to patrol away and I'd pick the lock and do the deed. The door was barely locked. The first thing I noted when I entered was voices coming from upstairs. Okay, not so easy. I searched downstairs, grabbing some fine clothing and finding a challenging lockbox to pick with 400 gold inside. Then I found the circlet. About this time the denizens had gone to sleep and I figured I shouldn't press my luck any further. As I exited, a guard stood maybe a dozen feet away with his back to me. So I reentered the house and looked at my next quest target. 2. Get a Jeweled Flagon in Addvar's House. By my map it looked like that was halfway across town. I threw together some rope and arrows and made rope arrows (!) to get back up on the roof. I jumped to Bits and Pieces, then back on the wall, over the bridge and across more wall. I looked across the courtyard. It was going to be a hell of a jump to reach the catacombs entrance building, and then to the triplex that included Addvar's house. I looked around, then dropped and rushed across the yard, flattening against the walls. I could see the guards' torches, which gave them away, so it wasn't a difficult prospect to avoid them. Addvar's lock popped open (I was getting good at this now) and I walked in. Greta and Addvar were fast asleep in the upstairs bed, so I took what I needed as well as all the valuables, and stealthily walked out the front door. 3. Next target. Erikur's house is right next to here. I flipped deeper in my quest log and remembered where I saw his name. He was a Sweep job target, and he'd forced himself on me while I was incarcerated in the Blue Palace. I weighed my options. I could steal the things Vex wanted, but if I killed him I wouldn't get anything. And the screaming. It would alert guards. Besides, he wasn't the real problem here. It was the system itself. As I approached his house, I noted he had a backdoor. I decided I would do this in style. Then I noticed he had a balcony with a door to his second floor. REAL style. I jumped up and picked the lock (again, easy) and stepped inside. First I went to the third floor and looted what I could. I spied a couple having sex and didn't disturb. (Not Erikur, who are these people)? I made my way around the house, finally finding Erikur's room on the first floor and shut the door behind me. I waited there for several moments, thinking of the things I could do to him right now. I looted his room. Finally I settled on something. First, I bound and gagged him in his sleep. "Mmmmph?" He struggled, but I brought lots of rope. I got on top of him and did the same thing those men had done to me: used him to give me an orgasm and left him there, tied and naked. He was trying to shout for guards but my gagging technique was pretty good. I had to retie him, but I hoped it would hold at least until I did my non-quest related business in the castle. To be honest, I can't say it was one of my finer moments. I also can't say he didn't enjoy it (unlike most of my experiences with the opposite). It was more of a power thing. I stepped out again, feeling like I was beating the system now. A guard turned a corner, and I rolled forward (I'd just learned how to roll in stealth) and slipped in the (unlocked??) backdoor to the Bards' College. Several people were up and about in the college and I just casually walked around, acting like I belonged. Their leader, Viarmo, accosted me as I passed through the large common room, "Are you here to study the ways of the bard?" I squinted, then I said, "Uh.. yeah. I've always wanted to play music." "Well, all you need to do at this time is get an instrument and play. Feel free to take one of the lutes from the room here. Come back to me when you're a little more experienced and we can talk about your entry," he smirked. I wasn't sure how to take that at the moment, but I had a mission to do, so I just nodded and grabbed a lute, throwing it in my pack. Maybe It'd fetch a good price. From there I used another rope arrow to scale the wall, sneaking all the way. I dropped down to a balcony, door leading adjacent to the courtyard. I waited for the guards' torches to pass again and snuck on the edge of the courtyard to Castle Dour entrance. Not remembering which way the dungeon was, but finding the castle unusually unguarded, I picked right. As I stealthed down the stairs, I found... guards. This was a barracks. But... they were all sleeping. Not even a watch? I wondered at that moment if somebody above was watching over me... or below. I decided I would ride the wave and walked through a gate and to a chest I'd seen from the door. Locked, very difficult? Must be something very good inside. After several minutes of fumbling (honestly, all it takes is time and a vast supply of lockpicks, I'd been looting them as I went)... the chest had Imperial Dragon Armor in it. Heavy armor, not my style. But... on my body was a good a place as any until it was time to sell it. And, a sword! Dragon's Oath. I picked it up and equipped it immediately. This would be my main sword for a while. I went back up the stairs and down the opposite side into the dungeon this time. The pattern of clean stone turned into dingy dungeon and I knew I'd made it. I turned right, dodging an Imperial Soldier around a stone structure. I followed the ring and down the stairs to the holding room where they'd first stripped me and put my gear in a chest. "HEY! I know you!" The guard in the holding room shouted. Scanning the room, the jailer was nowhere to be found. I thought over my options for a split second. Not thinking of intimidating the guard into telling me where the jailer was, I said back, "You're making a mistake." "There is no mistake. you are a wanted man and it's time for you to pay for your crimes." "I'm a woman! And I don't have time for this, do you?" "You have committed crimes against Skyrim and her people. What say you in your defense?" The Guard asked. I stroked my chin for a second, then said, "I'm the Jarl's Thane. I demand you let me go at once?" "Oh, forgive me.... wait a minute!" The guard drew his sword, "You're no thane!" "Damn. Deception failed," I said, "Ah! I'm with the Guild. Is this enough to clear my bounty?" "I can make all your problems with the guards go away. But it'll cost you. 100 gold. What do you say?" "Fine," I handed him some of my ill-gotten gold. He turned back to what he was doing at the long table, going through evidence. Immediately, my face lit up with glee. This was Saturalia in Sun's Height. He turned to the table. I crouched. I brought up Dragon's Oath and stabbed the man in the back three times and he crumpled. I took back my gold and his as well. I stood and spat on him. It was hard to tell with these guys, but I was 99% sure that was the guy that brought me in and gave me to the Jailer. Even if it wasn't this system was broken and I was enraged by the guards' indifference. I went back and down the stairs to the lower level, where I'd been held. Rather than how packed by guards this prison had been when I was being held here, it seemed nearly empty now. Maybe because it was 4 in the morning? One imperial soldier sat on a chair at the middle of the circle, watching the one prisoner still here from my sentence. The one they'd forced to watch me getting raped. "I stand with Ulfric Stormcloak! You Imperial dogs will never get a word out of me!" She shouted. Fiery. I liked this one. I crept over to her bars. I reached out for the door, but there didn't seem to be any knob? Was it broken off? I blinked. I could not open it. After pondering for a moment, I had another idea. "Hey, I have a gift for you," I said to her through the bars. She looked up at me. I slipped one of my steel daggers silently into the hay on her side, and a lockpick. "Make your own decision. I like your passion," I smiled. I decided I had it with the sneaking and walked over behind the sleeping guard and stabbed him in the throat. My ledger is dripping with blood now. I figured I might as well peer into some of the other cells. All empty of people, but one of them had a curious note, reading: "Fifteen men, a sunken treasure, and a lost ship. That's what I left behind. It took less than a day to sail to Blackbone Isle..." I pocketed it. I sat down for a minute. That Jailer, he hadn't been in the jail. I hadn't seen him in the town. I hadn't seen him in the castle. I wanted to scream. Did he travel around and 'rehabilitate' prisoners in all the holds? I sighed, ready to be out of here. I gathered up my things to make an exit. Stealth stealth stealth... I stepped out into the courtyard. 'Wait what time is it?' I thought. I noticed the sun was rising over Nirn. "You've committed..." Dammit. I drew my weapons. Two imperial soldiers flanked me. And drew their swords. And it wasn't going to be long before they noticed I was wearing EXPENSIVE imperial armor that I'd stole. This was going to be less of a 'thinking fast' than 'running fast' exercise. "I'd rather die than go to prison!" I shouted, rolling out of the way of their attacks. I dropped all pretense at stealth and sprinted to my right, which I knew led toward the gate. Arrows flew as I dodged left and right. Two hold guards were coming up the ramp to my left so I jumped over the low wall and sprinted to the side gate, more soldiers piling on by the moment. I flew past the gate guards, past the wall. I figured I could add another crime here and help my getaway, so I hopped on a light brown horse and spurred it on until I was out of the country. When I was finally far enough away that noone would touch me, I dismounted and fell on my back. "I can't believe I fucking pulled that off!" I screamed. Some Aedra or Daedra out there must be watching over me. I'd been up all night so I decided I would get off the road and make camp. Late that evening I awoke to find the horse had wandered off, but I was rested and ready to face the day. What to do now? Go back to Riften and fence? Or double down? A mixed answer. I didn't care about Morthal. I decided that the Shill and Numbers jobs in Morthal would have to wait. Like a gambler deciding to push her winning streak, I was going to Windhelm to hear about this Ulfric Stormcloak everyone was talking about (and to commit more crimes, of course). As a side note, the last picture in the collage is me now, just chilling in Windstad Manor. Waiting. It's the waiting that drives me nuts. I want to be out there, doing things. But for now I'm stuck. Not going to make the same mistake as my first preg.... Nevermind. Forget I said anything. So you know my bounty in Solutide doesn't last forever. But for the longest time I avoid Solitude like the plague. Yes, I do have a lot of tattoos now. I will get to that.