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About this blog

Well, here it is.  The story of the snarky badass reluctant Dragonborn who's lived in Skyrim for fifteen years.

Come along as I feed my most rabid addiction: exploration and adventure.  And, I guess, solving other people's problems in the least heroic ways possible.

 

This is my story.  Destana Stormblade.  Once a prisoner, a slave.  Once a refugee from Hammerfell.  

Now, Queen of Skyrim!  Master thief.  Assassin.  Mage.  Vampire Lord.  Sometimes, sex-object.  Lover of Sanguine, Ulfric Stormcloak and Serana of Volkihar.  Mother of Runa Septim, Damien Guevenne, and Fenrir Stormcloak.  Grandmother to Oddvar, Kintyra and Sinidar.  

Entries in this blog

Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 18: Family

Hey, it's Destana again.  Last time, I closed the loop on my revenge plot and got into some light bondage.  And then my daughter Runa became a member of the Dark Brotherhood.  When presented with three victims, I was told later that she killed all three.  Apparently, they were all very, very bad people.  I don't feel much better about her getting into my business of killing lots of people, though.    It's 2E 210 now, winter in the beginning of the year.  Current events are: - Ulfr
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 17: Revenge Crimes 2 - Time Crimes

Hey, it's me, Destana.  This is going to be a little different today.  I have a lot of ground to cover.    Last time I was building Windstad Manor.  And let me tell you - it took a while.  After such a large job, and fixing people's problems for such a long time I decided I wanted a break from all this adventuring full-time.  The Thieves' Guild runs itself.  I kill a dragon every now and then, but whatever is making them return still hasn't revealed itself.  I clear out a bandit camp,
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 16: Sigh... Solitude again.

Hey, it's me.  Destana.  Before I talk about going and seeing Ulfric, I decided I would clear up some logistical data. - If I am still traveling, how does the baby get fed?   Well, I learned a very useful spell named Sophomoric Teleportation.  Meant to be a way to transport goods in containers (chests, etc) to the user's home, I just squeeze my boob into a bottle and transport it back to Honeyside in Riften.  Damien is old enough to drink from a small bottle with a fake nipple; a coupl
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 15: Stormblade? Stormsheath, belike.

Hey, it's me, Destana.  After a year of making the Thieves' Guild great, learning to play Lute better, slaying dragons, raiding forts and 'persuading' them to join the Stormcloaks, attending magic college and having Damien, my son (with a couple months off before and a week off after for me), Ulfric and the gang were ready to raid Solitude.  I decided I would leave Damien with Iona and Sanguine.  He didn't want to get involved this time.  Something about meddling in the affairs of mortals far to
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 14: The Nine Months War

Hey, it's me, Destana.  At this point, I'd been living in Skyrim for about four months, and it was right around Saturnalia and the turning of the new year to 2E 202.  I turned 19 back in Last Seed (I know, I'm younger than you might think on account of my mad skills).   Last time Ulfric Stormcloak sent me to deliver an axe to Jarl Balgruuf of Whiterun.  I was accompanied by an entourage of Inigo, Vilja, Sofia and Shirley.  I'd been to Whiterun previously (even recently, infact to conta
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 13: You Son of a Bitch, I'm in!

Hey, it's Destana again. Last time I traveled around Skyrim and tied up a lot of loose ends.   But this is a special occasion.  Now that I established an actual home, I returned to the bedroll under the Honningbrew Meadery and slept there.  I was taken to Sanguine's realm, as before. "If it isn't my adherent," he looked up from whipping a young lady, "What brings you here?" I approached him, pulling away the Nightingale armor around my collar. Sanguine blinked, "You're b
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 12: Markarth, Not-Safest City in Skyrim

Hi, it's me, Destana.  Last time I did some work for the Riften Jarl, the Thieves' Guild and the Dark Brotherhood, attended a class at Winterhold, and then I was on my way to Markarth.   And what do you know, when I arrived in Markarth, it was being attacked by Lost Valley Forsworn, with a Mammoth and Giant.  I jumped in, managing to take a couple down with my bow and sneaking into the guard tower to continue my onslaught of arrows.  Really, the guards kept them busy while I killed eve
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 11: Dungeon-a-thon

Hey, I was wrong.  Very wrong.  I remember now.  This Skooma ring was supposed to just be a few bandits, with some gamblers and randos.  But Cragslane Cavern also had an equal amount of Mistwatch members.  Oh yeah, it's me, Destana.     So I killed the guard at the door with arrows.  Not much trouble.  I snuck into the cavern proper, standing on a wooden ramp with cover and plugged a woman with two arrows, killing her.  I looked down and saw probably a dozen guys drawing their weapons.
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 10: Weekend Trip

Hey there, it's me, Destana.  Where was I in the story?     I'd found out the name of the person trying to take down the Thieves' Guild.   I fought once in the Arena, and was not going to do that in my present state. I played a few Inns as a Bard, was not an official member yet. I was a student at the College of Winterhold.  I have attended one class. I have designs on becoming a Thane in Riften in the near future to get an actual house. Most importantly, I was
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 9: Nesting

Hey, it's me.  Destana.  Big news from last time.  I was pregnant.  Time counter: about three months in Skyrim.   I decided I would find what I believed to be Sanguine's human form, Sam Guevenne.  So I went to Rorikstead, which I'd been blathering about in my drunken state.  I bought a horse from the Markarth stables and headed out, avoiding all uninteresting conflict.  I got to Rorikstead after having traveled through the night and put up in the Frostfruit Inn for the night, after pla
Offtopic

Question about Children

I was thinking about this:  how do you explain children instantly growing up using Fertility Mode?  I was thinking of a few options.  The first is just I use a time skip.  Everybody putting everything on hold might not make a lot of sense.  Then again, this is around the time when I go to the College of Winterhold.  If anything, it could be MORE immersive if I spent a few years there learning magic instead of how fast the Main Character of this game picks up magic (by just eating spell tomes).
EnragedBard

EnragedBard in Offtopic

4
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 8: Thieves' Guild Plot Thickens (And so do I)

Hey, it's me.  Destana.  Ever had a life-changing experience that basically told you to keep doing what you're doing but gave you a purpose?  I had that last time.  I would go find a way to contact Sanguine again in the future, but for now, it was time to return to the guild.   I walked through the gates and to the Bee and Barb.  Maven accepted the papers, but it didn't give us a lead as to who was trying to buy the meadery.  My reward: an Orcish Dagger of Freezing.  I grinned.  This w
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 7: Debauchery

Hey, it's me again, Destana.  At this point in my quest, I was pretty plugged in to the Thieves' Guild.  They had my back, and I was getting pretty damn proficient at lockpicking, sneaking and stealing.  And no slouch at stabbing and shooting.  As long as I got the drop on someone I usually didn't have much trouble with them.    I felt like I took the long way around, and did a bunch before I even really got started with the guild.  And now this was going to be a test to go to Aringlow
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 6: Hunted, I guess

Hey, it's me, Destana.  After my second trip to Solitude, I felt like I could take on all of Nirn.  I figured I could scope out Windhelm, do a smaller amount of crime, and go back to Riften and finally get somewhere with the Thieves' Guild.   I cut straight through the wilderness, as is my way.  You know, nature is beautiful.  The peace.  The solitude.  Miles away from civilization.  Nobody to tell you you're wrong.  Nobody can find you.  I remember being on a cliff in a forest somewhe
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 5: Revenge Crimes

Hey, it's Destana again.  Despite having a generally bad time in Solitude, I decided to go back.  You know those times when something goes really right (even against very bad odds) for somebody who's completely mad and they judge it to be the will of the gods that they performed the action that led them down that path?  This could've been that moment for me.  In a sense.  This is a stealth mission.    When I woke up (it was before the farmer and his wife awoke) I threw on my gauntlets
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 4: Maybe It's Not All Bad

Hey, it's me, Destana.  Over the last few weeks I've been beaten down a lot.  That's not about to end, but it is about to get better.   So there I was, suspended in the slave auction, people bidding over me like a piece of meat.  After quite a few rounds I was purchased by a person named "Owner."  Later I would find out her name was Octava.  As soon as I was unchained, there was a flash and I awoke in a dungeon.  Not a keeping people captive dungeon, but the adventuring kind.  Still na
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 3: Bad to Worse

Hey, it's me Destana.  I just wanted to have an aside for a minute.  This is one of the worst parts of my journey.  I was abused, I was downtrodden.  Generally a bad time.  Skyrim will chew you up and spit you out if you let it.  I think this contributed to me being as hard as I am now.  Probably contributed to me being an amoral asshole absolute killer too.  To continue my story...   Day 0: The Evening in Jail The guards all took turns beating me with whips and fucking me.  What
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 2: I really HATE Solitude

Hey, it's me, Destana.   You know what's not great for long trips?  Being drunk.  After being assigned some of the farthest-away jobs by Vex and Delvin, I decided it would be a good idea to drown some of my sorrows at the Bee and Barb.  I note the wenches and the bard dressed in revealing Noctournal's Gown, and pick up a job to find the missing wenches.  Sure, if I run into them.  At this point I'm surprised Keerava will serve me, as I did make her pay her debts.  But she does after so
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 1: Being "Handled"

Hey, it's me, Destana.  Ongoing recount of some of the more interesting stories from my travels in Skyrim.  I showed up to Riften to try and join the Thieves' Guild on a friend's suggestion.   "Halt!" The first gate guard said.  He looked at his buddy, though I couldn't tell his expression through the helmet. "Yes?"  I asked. "Dressed rather shabbily, aren't you?  Are you some kind of prisoner or something?" He asked. "No.  Just poor.  Trying to get into the city.  Let m
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Introduction, my backstory ramblings. (And my mods for this playthrough).

Hey, it's me, Destana.  Not sure where to begin.  So I'll just dive in.   I was born out of a Civil War, but not the one you think.  Everybody knows about the Great War and the White-Gold Concordat.  Elvish bastards.  I am *technically* a worshipper of Satakal, but he is eerily similar to Alduin.  I'm not down with him destroying the world.  On the other hand, Talos is my boy.  Now THAT's something to aspire to.  A man that became a god.  Another reason to stronkly dislike the Aldmeri

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