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About this blog

Well, here it is.  The story of the snarky badass reluctant Dragonborn who's lived in Skyrim for fifteen years.

Come along as I feed my most rabid addiction: exploration and adventure.  And, I guess, solving other people's problems in the least heroic ways possible.

 

This is my story.  Destana Stormblade.  Once a prisoner, a slave.  Once a refugee from Hammerfell.  

Now, Queen of Skyrim!  Master thief.  Assassin.  Mage.  Vampire Lord.  Sometimes, sex-object.  Lover of Sanguine, Ulfric Stormcloak and Serana of Volkihar.  Mother of Runa Septim, Damien Guevenne, and Fenrir Stormcloak.  Grandmother to Oddvar, Kintyra and Sinidar.  

Entries in this blog

Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 28: To Rend a Dragon

Hey, it's Destana.  I'm a Volkihar vampire, ex-guildmaster of the thieves' guild.  Future Queen of Skyrim (maybe).  Hero of the Stormcloaks.  Mother to the Listener.  Slayer of Dragons.  Skilled mage and archer.  What else... gods I'm bored.  I feel like a lot of time has passed since I made an entry.  But really that's because I've been sitting here for two days, waiting for Urag the Librarian to actually find all the scattered notes on the Elder Scroll.   "Gods!  What is taking him s
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 27: Runa's Better Brotherhood of Old Resurrection Forever!

Hi!  This is Runa!  I'm the Listener of the Dark Brotherhood, and we're trying to recruit.  A job I'm super-excited to do my best at!  My mom asked me to talk about what has been going on for the past few weeks with the Dark Brotherhood while she gathered the moot and looked for Elder Scrolls.   While Nazir worked on gathering new recruits, I spoke with the Night Mother.  She spoke a little while about the Dark Brotherhood being as strong as it ever was, to which I listened intently. 
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 26: Scroll Huntin'

Hey, it's Destana.  I called a moot in Skyrim.  And, for the most part, it seems like the Jarls are willing to go along with my plans.  But I had a lot of work ahead of me.  This had gotten bigger than just gathering Elder Scrolls to finish the vampires' fool plan.  Now, I was on my way to kill Alduin and Harkon.    I took Serana to High Hrothgar, leaving the others.  I approached Arngeir, "I need a shout that will kill Alduin." "What have you heard?  Who have you been talkin
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 25: The Point is Moot

Disclaimer:  This might be a little boring to some.  This is nearly 100% conversation and world-building.   Hey, it's Destana.  My friends and I are in Sky Haven Temple to find Alduin's Wall, and I learned that the Greybeards might know about a shout that can help me fight Alduin.  I must confess, I had an ulterior motive to coming here.  I wasn't sure if it'd be suitable for this purpose, but I wagered it would be, and it is.   When we left Riften about a day and a half ago,
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 24: Stormblade Company Resurgence!

Hey, it's Destana.  I'm headed to Riften to find Malburn.  It's First Seed, 4E 210.  Been a while since I pulled off the Emperor's Assassination, and still no waves in Skyrim, though I imagine the ship made it's trip back by now carrying the body.  Too bad I'm currently infertile as a vampire, because there could be a whole 'lost hidden heir' of the Emperor ala Oblivion Crisis.  But I don't want to go through pregnancy again.  I think I'm done having kids, even if I do get 'cured.'   C
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 23: What would being a Daughter-in-law of Coldharbour get me?

Hey, it's Destana.  Serana and I just walked into the Soul Cairn.  It was a sad, purple landscape.    We traveled across the land for a while, fighting bonemen, until we came to a structure.  Valerica was inside, hidden by a barrier. "Mother!" Serana said. "Maker!  Serana!  Then I must've failed.  Your father found out how to decipher the prophecy, didn't he?" She asked. "No.  We're going to fulfill the prophecy our way, not his," Serana replied. "You've brought a s
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 22: King and Princess

Hey, it's Destana.  So, I just killed the Emperor of Cyrodiil and part of the rest of Tamriel.  Not really Hammerfell, or Skyrim, or any of the Elven nations.  Or Elswyer.  That's mostly controlled by the Thalmor, I've heard.  High Rock?  Black... Marsh?  Oh, nope.  They seceded after the Oblivion Crisis.  Only Cyrodiil and High Rock.  WHAT AN EMPIRE! I decided I would leave Runa and the others to do the rebuilding, both of the Dawnstar Sanctuary and of the Dark Brotherhood itself.  Also, R
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 21: A Date with Destiny

Hey, it's Destana.  I'm a vampire now.  I have a mission to kill the emperor very soon and I need to kill the Gourmet to steal his clothes.   My first thought was that the Dawnguard, being slayers of vampires, know more about vampires than probably anybody else.  So I thought I'd pay them a visit.  I rifled through my junk and found a full helm and slapped it on.  It seemed to go with my Crusader armor.  Make me look very paladin-like.  And also, hid my big GLOWING GOLDEN EYES.  
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 20: Helgen Harder - Nothing Lasts Forever (Except Me)

Hey, it's me, Destana.  Last time I took a few days helping the Keepers of Haatu (Imperial independent freedom fighters hunting Thalmor) get some support from the Stormcloaks, my old boys.  Marcus Jannus is set to start hiring builders to rebuild Helgen as soon as I finish mustering forces.  I'm on a timetable for my next Dark Brotherhood mission - kill the Gourmet then kill the Emperor.  This is probably going to shake up the whole province a lot and potentially the whole continent.  Get ready!
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 2: I really HATE Solitude

Hey, it's me, Destana.   You know what's not great for long trips?  Being drunk.  After being assigned some of the farthest-away jobs by Vex and Delvin, I decided it would be a good idea to drown some of my sorrows at the Bee and Barb.  I note the wenches and the bard dressed in revealing Noctournal's Gown, and pick up a job to find the missing wenches.  Sure, if I run into them.  At this point I'm surprised Keerava will serve me, as I did make her pay her debts.  But she does after so
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 19: Helgen Hard - Better Imperial Than Thalmor

Hey, it's me, Destana.  Last time Runa became Listener of the Dark Brotherhood and we started on a plot to assassinate the Emperor, but it would take nearly two weeks due to travel for preparations to be made and him to get to Skyrim.  Sanguine returned to Oblivion.  Damien is studying to be a mage at Winterhold and potentially Manantis.  Fenrir is staying with Ulfric for a little while, his birth father.  I know I said I wasn't going to get him involved if he didn't want to, but we'd never disc
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 18: Family

Hey, it's Destana again.  Last time, I closed the loop on my revenge plot and got into some light bondage.  And then my daughter Runa became a member of the Dark Brotherhood.  When presented with three victims, I was told later that she killed all three.  Apparently, they were all very, very bad people.  I don't feel much better about her getting into my business of killing lots of people, though.    It's 2E 210 now, winter in the beginning of the year.  Current events are: - Ulfr
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 17: Revenge Crimes 2 - Time Crimes

Hey, it's me, Destana.  This is going to be a little different today.  I have a lot of ground to cover.    Last time I was building Windstad Manor.  And let me tell you - it took a while.  After such a large job, and fixing people's problems for such a long time I decided I wanted a break from all this adventuring full-time.  The Thieves' Guild runs itself.  I kill a dragon every now and then, but whatever is making them return still hasn't revealed itself.  I clear out a bandit camp,
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 16: Sigh... Solitude again.

Hey, it's me.  Destana.  Before I talk about going and seeing Ulfric, I decided I would clear up some logistical data. - If I am still traveling, how does the baby get fed?   Well, I learned a very useful spell named Sophomoric Teleportation.  Meant to be a way to transport goods in containers (chests, etc) to the user's home, I just squeeze my boob into a bottle and transport it back to Honeyside in Riften.  Damien is old enough to drink from a small bottle with a fake nipple; a coupl
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 15: Stormblade? Stormsheath, belike.

Hey, it's me, Destana.  After a year of making the Thieves' Guild great, learning to play Lute better, slaying dragons, raiding forts and 'persuading' them to join the Stormcloaks, attending magic college and having Damien, my son (with a couple months off before and a week off after for me), Ulfric and the gang were ready to raid Solitude.  I decided I would leave Damien with Iona and Sanguine.  He didn't want to get involved this time.  Something about meddling in the affairs of mortals far to
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 14: The Nine Months War

Hey, it's me, Destana.  At this point, I'd been living in Skyrim for about four months, and it was right around Saturnalia and the turning of the new year to 2E 202.  I turned 19 back in Last Seed (I know, I'm younger than you might think on account of my mad skills).   Last time Ulfric Stormcloak sent me to deliver an axe to Jarl Balgruuf of Whiterun.  I was accompanied by an entourage of Inigo, Vilja, Sofia and Shirley.  I'd been to Whiterun previously (even recently, infact to conta
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 13: You Son of a Bitch, I'm in!

Hey, it's Destana again. Last time I traveled around Skyrim and tied up a lot of loose ends.   But this is a special occasion.  Now that I established an actual home, I returned to the bedroll under the Honningbrew Meadery and slept there.  I was taken to Sanguine's realm, as before. "If it isn't my adherent," he looked up from whipping a young lady, "What brings you here?" I approached him, pulling away the Nightingale armor around my collar. Sanguine blinked, "You're b
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 12: Markarth, Not-Safest City in Skyrim

Hi, it's me, Destana.  Last time I did some work for the Riften Jarl, the Thieves' Guild and the Dark Brotherhood, attended a class at Winterhold, and then I was on my way to Markarth.   And what do you know, when I arrived in Markarth, it was being attacked by Lost Valley Forsworn, with a Mammoth and Giant.  I jumped in, managing to take a couple down with my bow and sneaking into the guard tower to continue my onslaught of arrows.  Really, the guards kept them busy while I killed eve
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 11: Dungeon-a-thon

Hey, I was wrong.  Very wrong.  I remember now.  This Skooma ring was supposed to just be a few bandits, with some gamblers and randos.  But Cragslane Cavern also had an equal amount of Mistwatch members.  Oh yeah, it's me, Destana.     So I killed the guard at the door with arrows.  Not much trouble.  I snuck into the cavern proper, standing on a wooden ramp with cover and plugged a woman with two arrows, killing her.  I looked down and saw probably a dozen guys drawing their weapons.
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 10: Weekend Trip

Hey there, it's me, Destana.  Where was I in the story?     I'd found out the name of the person trying to take down the Thieves' Guild.   I fought once in the Arena, and was not going to do that in my present state. I played a few Inns as a Bard, was not an official member yet. I was a student at the College of Winterhold.  I have attended one class. I have designs on becoming a Thane in Riften in the near future to get an actual house. Most importantly, I was
Story Episode, NSFW Modded Skyrim

Entry 1: Being "Handled"

Hey, it's me, Destana.  Ongoing recount of some of the more interesting stories from my travels in Skyrim.  I showed up to Riften to try and join the Thieves' Guild on a friend's suggestion.   "Halt!" The first gate guard said.  He looked at his buddy, though I couldn't tell his expression through the helmet. "Yes?"  I asked. "Dressed rather shabbily, aren't you?  Are you some kind of prisoner or something?" He asked. "No.  Just poor.  Trying to get into the city.  Let m

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