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What's on your mind?

GimmeBACON

By GimmeBACON,
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4 minutes ago, gregathit said:

Happiness is a state of mind.  Nothing can "force" you to be happy.  Decide you are content and happy and look for excuses to justify you being so.  IE you are healthy (hopefully), you can walk your dog, you aren't allergic to your favorite foods, and so on and so on.  Make a list of all the stuff you CAN DO.  Don't focus on what you can't or what may have "happened" to you lately.  If you "wait" on happiness to come to you, that is nothing more than a fickle emotion and it leaves as quickly as it came.

 

As for the dog loving the walk......meh.  What the dog really loves is spending time with you.  They don't call them man's best friend for nothing.

Eh it was rather feeling down due to disappointment from failures, than unhapiness, but that's good advices nonetheless. As for my dog don't worry he's cherished, bet a bit too much for his tastes probably

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gregathit

gregathit

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34 minutes ago, CyanBunnye said:

Eh it was rather feeling down due to disappointment from failures, than unhapiness, but that's good advices nonetheless. As for my dog don't worry he's cherished, bet a bit too much for his tastes probably

Failure is a major and very important part of life.  The only way to avoid failure is to do nothing (even then you will fail).  So rather than feel down, decide to take the glass half full approach.  You found out that pathway in the puzzle of life was a dead end.  You can cross it off your list and work on finding the right path.  Besides, looking back, some of those failures weren't as bad as I thought at the time. 

 

As for dogs, I've owned quite a few in my life and it is absolutely impossible to love or cherish them too much.  ?

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landess

landess

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36 minutes ago, CyanBunnye said:

feeling down due to disappointment from failures

 

Without getting into the details - sometimes nothing can be done except for time to pass (especially if the failure is due to human interaction). The desire to succeed in anything will be affected by ones ability to do so. If success IS within reach, then making personal effort to do so is the only recourse.

 

Improving ones skills/abilities/understanding is usually the way to approach those things which do have a shot at being successful in. Some things take an incredible amount of investment in to achieve. Others - just patience and practice.

 

There's a difference between beating Dark Souls and winning the lottery. This is where ones personal understanding of the situation at hand is most important as it helps define ones boundaries. Is success in reach? Is it even possible? Know thyself.

 

The need for mind altering medication is one of those things I feel 'can' be useful but never guaranteed (See Robin Williams film Awakenings) yet I suspect too many times this approach is just a quick fix/band-aid too often prescribed as a catch-all. I understand depression is real, but am curious just how much we ourselves play a part in it's development - don't feed the bears.

 

I find when life sometimes feels joyless, it's simply due to myself doing exactly what I want (within reason) without checks and becoming bored. Makes me wonder how the elite rich avoid 'boredom psychosis'.

 

As for failure, sometimes it simply takes a different approach: My Logitech MX100 mouse quit working properly and I surmised it was the receiver/dongle. Looking up solutions I realized the contacts weren't working and proceeded to follow unofficial actions to raise the contacts and make it work. It did work, for a short time, but eventually failed 'again'. Not wanting to spend another $100 on a new mouse, I found Logitech sells a 'universal' dongle which uses the same frequency (2.4Ghz). So I held my breath, ordered one for $13.99 and when I got it and plugged it in - NOTHING. I still wanted to succeed and wasn't ready to throw in the towel. After exploring the Logitech website I found an option to download software which I did. I then FOLLOWED the instructions, and was rewarded with SUCCESS!

 

While likely not even close to the same situation, it's just another example of 'failing', and then finding a way to succeed. If that had not worked, then I could relax and understand I had done all I could with that approach. I was already mentally prepared to fail but didn't stop trying. Had I failed I already knew what my options were and had embraced that reality. Thankfully I didn't have to.......

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2 hours ago, gregathit said:

Failure is a major and very important part of life

It is, but it takes its toll at a point, keeps stacking and starts weighing heavy


 

3 hours ago, landess said:

Improving ones skills/abilities/understanding is usually the way to approach those things which do have a shot at being successful in. Some things take an incredible amount of investment in to achieve. Others - just patience and practice.

 

I should have clarified, I'm talking about writing music. I don't want to go on a rant about it or this is gonna be endless *proceeds to do exactly that*

I've been at it for a pretty long time and it just dawned on me that i'm not gifted, special, natural at it or anything of that sort.

Been working hard on theory lately and I'm just not a very bright student either, despite spending hours on it per days

I'm below average, so pride took some hits, and being in musician/producer circles sometimes makes you feel unworthy/envious.

So practice and patience yes indeed, but I wonder if one's potential got its limits/skill ceiling

At this point l feel like the only way I could be better is if I was one of those people sustaining a head injury and developping new skills afterward lol

Uf, i'm annoying myself with all this complaining and overthinking

 

Thanks for the kind answers and advices though, appreciate it

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KoolHndLuke

KoolHndLuke

Posted
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5 hours ago, gregathit said:

You found out that pathway in the puzzle of life was a dead end

Right.... and then you come to another dead end, and another and then recognize a pattern. Fuck, Greg why don't you just tell them to go to their "happy place" for all the brilliant insight that would bring? :lol:

 

Look, with everything that's going on now it's not surprising so many people are feeling down. I have never struggled as much in my life as I have in the last year. Only now am I starting to clear my head and get back on track. Why? Because I don't know how to lie down and give up. When you finally hit rock-bottom, there's only one way left to go.

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gregathit

gregathit

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Posted
1 hour ago, CyanBunnye said:

It is, but it takes its toll at a point, keeps stacking and starts weighing heavy

I should have clarified, I'm talking about writing music.

Most of the best songs out there have come from a place of darkness in that artists life.  ?

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gregathit

gregathit

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26 minutes ago, KoolHndLuke said:

Right.... and then you come to another dead end, and another and then recognize a pattern. 

Sometimes yes, sometimes no.  Keep in mind, it isn't always about the destination, the journey is important too.

27 minutes ago, KoolHndLuke said:

Fuck, Greg why don't you just tell them to go to their "happy place" for all the brilliant insight that would bring? 

The capacity of the human mind to fool itself is quite boundless.  You can learn to enjoy pain, silly as that would be.  Is it any different to learn to just enjoy the ability to live life?  Many times folks don't appreciate the little things like being able to walk until they can't.  Have you never "checked out" to your so called happy place when doing something exceedingly boring?  None of this is new or even insightful, but sometimes we forget things we should not.  We get hung up on the negative and can't see all the positive that surrounds us.

29 minutes ago, KoolHndLuke said:

Look, with everything that's going on now it's not surprising so many people are feeling down. I have never struggled as much in my life as I have in the last year. Only now am I starting to clear my head and get back on track. Why? Because I don't know how to lie down and give up. When you finally hit rock-bottom, there's only one way left to go.

Could it be that while you teased me about a happy place, you've found yours in that you don't like to give up?  You enjoy the struggle and just don't know it?  Or perhaps you enjoy overcoming obstacles.  What drives you is not so important in that you are driven to keep going.  Most folks persist even when it seems hopeless.  Why?  Does it really matter why so long as they do?

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gregathit

gregathit

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4 minutes ago, KoolHndLuke said:

You've changed man.

Fighting change is like swimming up stream.  Sooner or later you figure out it is kinda pointless.  Not saying there aren't times to do it.......but do it when it matters, at least to you.

Not sure I've changed, if you are talking to me.  I just have moments of clarity and then get distracted by all that scattered ass.  ?

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KoolHndLuke

KoolHndLuke

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16 minutes ago, gregathit said:

I just have moments of clarity and then get distracted by all that scattered ass.

Just include pics next time as examples, lol.

 

Not meaning to single you out or anything, it just that I'm not used to feeling defeated and it pisses me off. And when somebody comes along and just passingly says it's all in my mind- like there ain't a LOT of fucked up shit going on- it pisses me off more. But, I more or less get what you're saying about "swimming up stream". Wonder why those dumb Salmon do that?

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gregathit

gregathit

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1 minute ago, KoolHndLuke said:

Just include pics next time as examples, lol.

You'll find them in the animated gifs thread.  ?

 

2 minutes ago, KoolHndLuke said:

Not meaning to single you out or anything, it just that I'm not used to feeling defeated and it pisses me off. And when somebody comes along and just passingly says it's all in my mind- like there ain't a LOT of fucked up shit going on- it pisses me off more. But, I more or less get what you're saying about "swimming up stream".

I'm not the in the slightest bit offended.  I also didn't say it passingly, unfortunately this is pretty much impossible to convey not being face to face.  Not allowing your circumstances to dictate your behavior is what it is to be human.  Never said it was easy.  Fuck's sake, I fail more often than I succeed succumbing to my baser instincts, but I, like you keep trying.  Besides, what is happiness after all but something in your mind?  ?  Sorry.  I could not resist.

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landess

landess

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4 hours ago, CyanBunnye said:

I've been at it for a pretty long time and it just dawned on me that i'm not gifted, special, natural at it or anything of that sort.

 

It would be folly to say everyone IS equal in regards to creativity. I believe many things can attribute to ones own abilities. Some things like our environment when growing up - people, places, events - so many things shape us in ways beyond our ability to scientifically document. Other things that are hidden within: At any given moment when not under instruction or pressure to do a specific task, will find us doing our 'own' thing and is that ever the same between people? It's these differences which move us. Creativity is different from being gifted. Being gifted is different from being educated.

 

Some of the best musicians I ever met were trained. They could rip a new one in anything they were tasked with performing. Yet when trying to engage them in improvisation, most would struggle. These musicians to me were 1st class technicians in the use of the instruments they trained on. Other untrained musicians I knew could improvise easily, but what they did was very basic. I've played with musicians whom could create amazing parts when given some structure, and others whom could create musical hooks all day, yet their parts were hardly inspiring.

 

Ultimately I'm reminded of an Oscar winning movie called 'Amadeus'. When one strips away everything except the reality of the conflict - we see 2 people with completely different upbringings which led to noticeable differences in their ability to pursue their goals. This also led to a huge difference in time spent learning their craft. We as children learn things much easier. Many 'prodigies' begin at a very early age. Depending on the demands of the parents and approach to the situation, the child may become incredibly skilled and knowledgeable, yet end up socially challenged.

 

As for any individual, I believe exposure to ones choice in a skilled pursuit is extremely important. If one finds themselves outgrowing the abilities of those around them, it is imperative they find new people whom will teach and inspire. This isn't to say time spent alone honing your craft isn't as important. What one does needs to be second nature and as effortless as possible. Then when one is faced with new challenges, they are as ready as they can ever be.

 

>>> Many people commented on my own abilities quite frequently. I was never remiss to tell them how much time I spent alone in a room, practicing, practicing, practicing. Always take the opportunity to improvise when presented. Improvisation helps us find our limits, learn what does and 'doesn't' work, and gives us time to reflect on what it is about the skill or discipline that draws us to it.

 

I miss playing music - I don't miss moving equipment, dealing with egos, and being around drunks. I do miss the ladies  ;) 

 

-Lastly- If you enjoy what you do, then 'enjoy' it for what it is. 'Trying' to be the BEST is maddening and has no place in a creative endeavor. Where creativity is involved, your work is subject to the whims of others, and you can't please everyone. If you can quantify your own goals in pursuing a skill, then you've defined your path.

 

Kids like this should be enough to dissuade older people from attempting to pursue their dreams, but that would be the worst possible way to look at it unless one has unrealistic expectations.

 

Spoiler

 

 

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Guest

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Hey it's a thoughtful wall of text

4 hours ago, landess said:

Trying' to be the BEST is maddening and has no place in a creative endeavor. Where creativity is involved, your work is subject to the whims of others, and you can't please everyone

Yeah that's the reasonning I apparently fail to understand/apply. Goddamn ego you know, it doesn't do crap for you but asks for its daily meals.

What made you stop playing music though ?

3 hours ago, KoolHndLuke said:

Is there some reward for getting hoochies to show their skin here? Cause I'm down for that shit and stuff! :smiley:

<-- Who showed its skin ? Who?? Whoooaaaah

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landess

landess

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57 minutes ago, CyanBunnye said:

What made you stop playing music though ?

 

Age, lack of interest in continuing at the level I was entrenched in. I kinda fell back into it, forming a few bands which had no problems finding gigs at the clubs in the area. I remember sitting at practice while others sat there learning songs. I mentioned why didn't they learn them before coming to rehearsal and got a bunch of BS answers. I wasn't pleased with them wasting my time as I told them they didn't need me there to 'learn their parts'. I kinda knew if I was to remain interested I somehow needed to 'up my game'. Seeing as I was just playing in local cover bands, with no real option of rising to a higher level, I just rode it out for a while before finally just putting it down.

 

Best thing happened when I quit. I no longer felt any need to go to bars, and gave up drinking cold turkey. That alone was worth it. Sober for almost 20 years now and glad of it.

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

For those whom never got to play in a band: Once you've had several years doing it, you've built up a library of songs. When forming a band the first thing is to usually see what songs everyone has in common. Then based on styles, etc. - new songs are chosen to fill out a set list for an entire evenings performance. I was always up to learn NEW songs, but so many would just sit on that list for months without any desire to progress. If I never played 'Plush' again it would be too soon.

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52 minutes ago, landess said:

 

Age, lack of interest in continuing at the level I was entrenched in. I kinda fell back into it, forming a few bands which had no problems finding gigs at the clubs in the area. I remember sitting at practice while others sat there learning songs. I mentioned why didn't they learn them before coming to rehearsal and got a bunch of BS answers. I wasn't pleased with them wasting my time as I told them they didn't need me there to 'learn their parts'. I kinda knew if I was to remain interested I somehow needed to 'up my game'. Seeing as I was just playing in local cover bands, with no real option of rising to a higher level, I just rode it out for a while before finally just putting it down.

 

Best thing happened when I quit. I no longer felt any need to go to bars, and gave up drinking cold turkey. That alone was worth it. Sober for almost 20 years now and glad of it.

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

For those whom never got to play in a band: Once you've had several years doing it, you've built up a library of songs. When forming a band the first thing is to usually see what songs everyone has in common. Then based on styles, etc. - new songs are chosen to fill out a set list for an entire evenings performance. I was always up to learn NEW songs, but so many would just sit on that list for months without any desire to progress. If I never played 'Plush' again it would be too soon.

Ah yeah. I left a band because of similar behaviors. It's always like this, one's doing all the writing and mixing and pushing forward, while the others can't even handle not forgetting the USB stick with tracks on it. Once in a blue moon they send you basslines or whatever, and it's not on tempo, peaks at +6db on the master. Then they don't show up on studio days cause their "gal was in a bad mood". I sure don't miss these days. /rant

Good on you for staying away from alcohol if you had an issue with it, better than ending with cirrhosis

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