What are you doing right now in Skyrim (Screenshot required)

[SleepyJim]

My big, butch orc warrioress is facing her most challenging quest yet. That elf could have asked for anything. Kill a legendary dragon. Wipe out a coven of hagravens. Rip apart a nest of frostbite spiders with her bare hands. Anything. But noooo. It just had to be...

Spoiler

 

...wearing a posh dress to the Blue Palace...

 

 

"One word, Lydia. One sodding word about this to anyone and you're getting Volendrung where the sun don't shine."

 

 

[worik]

6 hours ago, SleepyJim said:

My big, butch orc warrioress is facing her most challenging quest yet.

That's a serious sacrifice ... Selfless, brave, honorable... worthy of a dragon-fashion-born-model.

 

*duck-and-cover*

[Grey Cloud]

9 minutes ago, worik said:

That's a serious sacrifice ... Selfless, brave, honorable... worthy of a dragon-fashion-born-model.

 

*duck-and-cover*

That colour suits her. The blue matches her varicose veins.?

 

[Started a new game last night - full report to follow]

[SleepyJim]

It all worked out in the end. She went straight to Broken Oar Grotto afterwards, smashed lots of heads, and now she's right as rain. (Still wearing the frock though.)

[worik]

55 minutes ago, SleepyJim said:

It all worked out in the end. She went straight to Broken Oar Grotto afterwards, smashed lots of heads, and now she's right as rain. (Still wearing the frock though.)

You know, what is missing, don't you?

A picture of a dashing fashion-she-orc, smashing a few heads of those not-so-well-clothed peasants and dung-sniffers.

[worik]

While doing some screenshots for a totally different pupose, ...

 

I met these two gentleman in the basement of a house with a slightly shady reputation.

.. an "imperial courier" and a ..."thief"

 

"Good day my dear friends. I was upstairs and had a drink. But now I am a bit lost and was just looking for the privy... and ... err. I wonder where...

Nice little bottles you have there.. I mean, I didn't want to interrupt you in your surely very important, private and obviously valuable conversation...."

 

"No, this is called screenshot. Something like a painting. No,no,no. The Jarl and his guards won't ever see it. Sure! I promise!"

[SleepyJim]

Ok. Some pictures of my noble lady orc in battle. There weren't any more blackblood marauders handy, so she stormed a giant camp instead.

 

Spoiler

 

The milkdrinker giants died before I could even start snapping, much to the surprise of their pet mammoth.

 

 

It all seemed like it was going to be too easy, but two of his friends somehow snuck up behind us.

It left one for my orc and one for each of her followers, although Lydia just stood around looking confused and occasionally taking a knee.

Minerva was faring better.

 

 

But even she was soon overwhelmed, and trying to hide behind a sprig of nirnroot proved unsuccessful.

 

 

Having dispatched her own, it was up to my orc to deal with the last two as well.

 

 

Well, that went smoothly.

 

 

Final death count: 3 mammoths, 2 giants and 1 particularly vicious fox.

 

 

*disclaimer*

 

*the "tgm" console command was absolutely not used to aid in this senseless slaughter*

 

*and a mammoth killed the fox*

 

 

[MrEsturk]

11 minutes ago, SleepyJim said:

Ok. Some pictures of my noble lady orc in battle. There weren't any more blackblood marauders handy, so she stormed a giant camp instead.

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

The milkdrinker giants died before I could even start snapping, much to the surprise of their pet mammoth.

 

 

It all seemed like it was going to be too easy, but two of his friends somehow snuck up behind us.

It left one for my orc and one for each of her followers, although Lydia just stood around looking confused and occasionally taking a knee.

Minerva was faring better.

 

 

But even she was soon overwhelmed, and trying to hide behind a sprig of nirnroot proved unsuccessful.

 

 

Having dispatched her own, it was up to my orc to deal with the last two as well.

 

 

Well, that went smoothly.

 

 

Final death count: 3 mammoths, 2 giants and 1 particularly vicious fox.

 

 

*disclaimer*

 

*the "tgm" console command was absolutely not used to aid in this senseless slaughter*

 

*and a mammoth killed the fox*

 

 

Who would have thought one formal dinner could lead to such appalling acts of fashion conscious barbarism? Its like the orc in her seethes with pure range yet the female in her just can't toss away such an elegant garment...

[Grey Cloud]

Alrighty then. Last night I started a new game and went for 'attacked and left for dead' from ASLAL. I've also decided to play as a naked Elder Race female. Woke up in one of the garden sheds in Aftland. Everything gone: pension book, bus-pass, lockpicks etc. Nothing in the shed I was in so tried the next one and immediately 'ambushed by trolls' (2 of). Stuck in a garden shed with two eight-foot gorillas so only one thing for it  - die.

On reload I decided to weigh my options. With OBIS, Warzones, SIC and a couple of other mods that area is one seriously dangerous neighbourhood with no obvious route to safety. Winterhold was sligthly closer but there is crutch there. Decided on Dawnstar. En route I grabbed a four-pack of wolves with Untamed but only had one left by the time I got to Dawnstar.

Raised some cash via TDFPP and bought Firebolt and a better Healing spell. I'm level 2 or 3 by now and decide to go for Vaermina nightmare gig. I was hoping that there might be a troll or two outside the temple which I could enlist. No, what there was was Rieklings, lots of them including several mounted bastards. So I left Erandur and the wolf to fend for themselves while I ran around trying to stay alive and do some damage. I ended up on the cliffs at the back of Dawnstar dishing out firebolts from a spot the Rieklings couldn't get to. The town guard got involved about this point and did some sterling work. There were a lot of Rieklings, fucking ridiculous for that early in the game. Wolfie survived much to my surprise.

The game left the wolf outside the temple but it was easy enough in the end.

Decided to head for Morphal via the main road and picked up another 3 wolves but was then immediately set upon by bandits which killed all 4 wolves and I ran like hell. Made it to the Haaljmarch Imperial camp and had just finished a shag when 2 bandits attacked the place. Imps dealt with them, I chickened out of trying to get to Morphal across the marsh at night and decided for Solitude. Ended up in High Gate Ruins. Draugr are still friendly due to my faction gubbins being screwed so it was an easy run to Volkun. Well it was for me, Anska struggled a bit if I'm honest.

 

A sight which is familiar to my enemies so far:

 

 

 

 

 

karlpaws look away now.

 

 

 

A bit too far away?


 

 

A bit closer.

 

 

 

 

 

She's called Purpelda, for obvious reasons. She's still WIP so things might change. I can't decide whether to go for a babe body with elder skin or to emphasise the 'eld' and go for the full-on 'crone' look.

 

 

 

 

 

Currenly I'm only wearing a bog-standard amulet of [divine who grants mag regen boost] I'm allowing myself two rings, a circlet and maybe some earings or piercings, enchanted for the use of.

[karlpaws]

20 hours ago, SleepyJim said:

My big, butch orc warrioress is facing her most challenging quest yet. That elf could have asked for anything. Kill a legendary dragon. Wipe out a coven of hagravens. Rip apart a nest of frostbite spiders with her bare hands. Anything. But noooo. It just had to be...

 

The song "I feel pretty" sung by Jack Nicholson comes to mind. He wasn't quite an orc but he wasn't a fashion model stud when he was singing it.

12 hours ago, worik said:

You know, what is missing, don't you?

A picture of a dashing fashion-she-orc, smashing a few heads of those not-so-well-clothed peasants and dung-sniffers.

There is a book that could use such a picture.  The Wraith's Wedding Dowry was the title. (UESP check)

[The First Lady of Hats]

54 minutes ago, karlpaws said:

There is a book that could use such a picture.  The Wraith's Wedding Dowry was the title. (UESP check)

Know what boggles me? There's a ton of mods that add new books with, hrmmms, "Erotic fiction", into skyrim. Yet No one's added the one Pron book that actually IS lore. Boethia's Pillow book. I mean hell, even Morrowind had it.

 

[karlpaws]

8 minutes ago, The First Lady of Hats said:

Know what boggles me? There's a ton of mods that add new books with, hrmmms, "Erotic fiction", into skyrim. Yet No one's added the one Pron book that actually IS lore. Boethia's Pillow book. I mean hell, even Morrowind had it.

 

Funny... I was thinking about that book the other day and thought it odd I hadn't seen it lately.

 

I keep thinking I should take some of the Lusty Argonian Maid books and add pictures of actual Argonians, or trolls or spiders to the harvesting books about them.

[MrEsturk]

So I got back to Slaverun just in time before a runaway bounty got placed on my head. Bellamy took just about every piece of gold I had as tribute. I "miraculously" was able to skip the animal training and tour de skyrim quests (NOPE?). After enduring the pain slut training I was told to report to the dungeons by a very nervous slave master were I this happened:

So I got raped by the avatar of a daedric god, lost my soul in a moment of lust and am a submissive succubus now, however that works:

 

Off to do more S_L_U_T_S runs:

Spoiler

 

Got to Winterhold to set up the first beacon for Century Numinar. But the damn talking telephone pole insisted I bribe it with a diamond. Great, got to find an extremely rare RNG drop gem or hope I just find one lying around somewhere...

 

On my way to trying setting up the second beacon I made a pit stop in Windhelm to unload some loot. I was immediately enthralled by Rolff. Don't know what I found sexier: his slobbish alcoholism, distinct lack of height for a Nord, or nonstop racist ranting. Kiss me baby!:

 

Never trust a beautiful woman Rolff. Especially one that is interested in you:

 

Now that the only nationalistic, racist drunks the Gray Quarter dwellers will have to worry about roaming their streets at night are their fellow dark elves it was back to my quest. Thankfully the other beacons didn't give me any lip:

 

The people of Ivarstead seemed so bored with their life. So I used my succubus powers to trigger an orgy:

 

While I don't encounter dragons, Mihail's monster mods tend to keep things interesting:

 

My companion final got a needed upgrade to her bikini armor, now a mix of orcish and ebony:

 

I agreed to help an argonian pirate cause a shipwreck in exchange for splitting the loot. But he betrayed me. I was so upset I fucked his sister to death then went on a rampage of blood and fatal lust in his gang's hideout (Just realized its the same crew SleepyJim's butch orc lass recently smashed up. Those pirates can't catch break ?):

 

 

And that's were I left off for now. Still got to find a damn diamond...

 

Seriously? LOL ?:

 

 

[The First Lady of Hats]

Creating a new tart fer a new playthrough. Or, well, repurposing and tweaking an old preset into something new.

Velconia Vesnius. Imperial, Noble born of Skingrad, sorceress, Knight and battlemage. Empire loyalist but not a Titus Mede loyalist, as far as she's concerned he's dangerously incompetant at best and a complete traitor at worst. She's gone to skyrim to whip these illiterate nord rebel savages back into line because she doesn't trust the Emperor to manage it properly. Of course, learning that she she has certain similarities with Tiber Septim, might just push her already huge superiority complex over the edge as she seeks to equal or even surpass Talos. By the time she marches back into Cyrodiil, it might very well be as a conqueror.

 

Was nae gonna use any sexlab mods on this playthrough, the primitive heathens in this land are beneath her so I didn't see her hopping into some furs with any of them. But there's that many npc overhauls in now (Men of winter, Bjin everything, Dames o' skyrim, ordinary women, CoWimmersive.) that I figured I better make use of 'em. Currently pondering whether I want untamed on for her or not since I can see her ending up totally degenerate eventually and becoming a true Perverted Princess.

 

 

[Ernest Lemmingway]

11 hours ago, The First Lady of Hats said:

Know what boggles me? There's a ton of mods that add new books with, hrmmms, "Erotic fiction", into skyrim. Yet No one's added the one Pron book that actually IS lore. Boethia's Pillow book. I mean hell, even Morrowind had it.

 

I still don't fully understand how Boethiah has a pillow book when sex is not in his/her sphere. Mephala I could understand, even Vivec the hermaphrodite pseudo-god, but not a god whose influence would lend itself more to the most hardcore forms of BDSM. At least not in such a gentle fashion as AlienSlof presents it in the mod.

[Grey Cloud]

11 minutes ago, Ernest Lemmingway said:

I still don't fully understand how Boethiah has a pillow book when sex is not in his/her sphere.

Learning/knowledge? I'm thinking of that Black Book quest thing on Solstheim (which I've never done).

[Ernest Lemmingway]

4 minutes ago, Grey Cloud said:

Learning/knowledge? I'm thinking of that Black Book quest thing on Solstheim (which I've never done).

The Black Books are Hermaeus Mora. Boethiah is the Daedric Prince of deceit, slaughter, secret plots of assassination, unlawful overthrow of authority, basically the patron of anarchists, liars, and murderers. Shim's quest in Skyrim involves you murdering a follower you ordered to touch a pillar, then hunting down the previous champion to reclaim the Ebony Mail.

[Grey Cloud]

1 minute ago, Ernest Lemmingway said:

The Black Books are Hermaeus Mora. Boethiah is the Daedric Prince of deceit, slaughter, secret plots of assassination, unlawful overthrow of authority, basically the patron of anarchists, liars, and murderers. Shim's quest in Skyrim involves you murdering a follower you ordered to touch a pillar, then hunting down the previous champion to reclaim the Ebony Mail.

I knew that.  Daedra-smaedra.

[The First Lady of Hats]

Finally got 'er to a place I likes.

Not sure if'n Imma keeping that muscle map yet though, it's a bit..errh..much.

Also reinstalled Take Notes so she can have life goals >:D

[Grey Cloud]

At the back door of Dragon Bridge with intention of making a run for the Lover's Stone and Markarth. Dawn just about to arrive and I can see two wolves up ahead before I start. Time for a cunning plan.

Well I enrolled the two wolves plus another wolf and a pygmy hill troll shortly after and off we set. Made it to just outside Bruca's Leap where I stopped to mine some iron ore from a vein. Just finished when an ore guardian spawned. The wolves jumped in and I was dancing around trying to get a firebolt off without toasting the wolves. The troll is still playing catch-up. Not going well with the guardian but a Forsworn lass came flying out of the camp and launched herself at the guardian. Then a bristleback turned up saw off what was left of the wolves and launched into the guardian. About this time I finally manage to get off a firebolt without hitting the Forsworn lass who is like the Tasmanian Devil. Guardian and hog bite the dust and she strolls back into the camp.

 

From left to right: dead wolf, the troll which has just arrived, dead wolf, me covered in pig blood, dead guardian, dead wolf. Dead hog's just off camera.

The Lover's Stone is looking a long way away. Oo 'eck.

[Grey Cloud]

I'm thinking I need to upgrade. This is not going to cut the mustard against half a dozen OBIS bandits. In fact, it wont cut it against the granny of an OBIS bandit.

Is it my end or is LL slow today?

[MrEsturk]

16 minutes ago, Grey Cloud said:

Is it my end or is LL slow today?

I know here in the States its a big "go have a family reunion gathering" holiday weekend (Memorial Day weekend). So a fair amount of the 'mericans that frequent this site may be out of town visiting relatives. Going to be a busy weekend for me for sure, but don't have to work on Monday so that's nice.

[Grey Cloud]

33 minutes ago, MrEsturk said:

I know here in the States its a big "go have a family reunion gathering" holiday weekend (Memorial Day weekend). So a fair amount of the 'mericans that frequent this site may be out of town visiting relatives. Going to be a busy weekend for me for sure, but don't have to work on Monday so that's nice.

I meant slow loading not slow user-wise.

[Grey Cloud]

Ta da. Made it, though I lost Shorty the troll to a sabrecat a couple of hundred metres short of the stone. Got to Markarth without further incident.

The spider and the cannibal lined up for tomorrow. I'm level 7. I'm doing firebolt in my left but I don't know what to do with my right. Suggestions? Don't want to use a weapon though I might go for a staff if I get one. (That would probably mean goblins, gulp).

[Ernest Lemmingway]

2 hours ago, Grey Cloud said:

I meant slow loading not slow user-wise.

I noticed things moving slowly, too. The same three-day weekend some folks use to visit family a lot of others use to play video games. Could be a rush on sex mods. That's pretty much how I plan to spend my weekend since I hate my relatives.