Rings of Power by J.R.R. Tokenism.

[Grey Cloud]

"You haven't seen what I've seen".

 

I've just watched the first episode and I've got to say that I can't recall seeing anything this bad. I've been to school nativity plays with better acting and scripts.

It's like watching your screenshots in slideshow mode - a succession of vignettes each on screen for a minute or two before flipping to the next one.

 

Here's a couple of examples of how bad it is.

 

Galadriel (Gladys as I call her) and a squad of 9 elves are trying to discover the whereabouts of Sauron. These are just regular elves not some sort of crack, hand-picked, elite unit but they are going to take on Sauron and his minions if they come across him.

At one point they are shown walking across an icy landscape, each bent forward and holding on to the one in front because of the wind. The last elf in the line collapses so the next guy shouts to Gladys. They all stop and she walks back to the guy. She walks back and the rest of the team gather around to watch as if there is no wind.

Later they are in a cave when they are attacked by an ice troll. The (male) elves try to take on the troll but get their arses handed to them. It throws a block of ice the size of a car which bowls over several of them and at least one of them is picked up and slammed against the cave wall. It does things to other elves.

Fear not, Gladys to the rescue. A quick combo of twirling her sword around her hand like a drum majorette and a few moves from a bad Wuxia film and the troll is done and dusted.

She says they must press on and the team mutiny. They lay down their swords in what, presumably, is meant to be some sort of formal act. In the shot you can clearly see that there are still 9 elves. No first-aid, no bandages, not even a limp after the troll fight of minutes ago.

 

Gladys jumps off a ship hundreds of miles from where she wants to be. The first shot shows her swimming underwater holding her sheathed knife. The next shot shows her treading water while watching the ship sailing off. Both her hands are empty.

 

Comedy central.

 

 

Edited September 7, 2022 by Grey Cloud

[spoonsinger]

Haven't seen it but sounds sad. That said I was a bit lukewarm about the films so some peoples tastes differ. Loved the books and the Radio 4 series in the eighties but that was a long time ago.

[Grey Cloud]

14 minutes ago, spoonsinger said:

Radio 4

I'm only 65 so I'm not old enough for R4 yet. ?

 

Only 15 minutes into episode 2 but already I'm cringed-out.

[Heroine HoneyCrotch]

I was more annoyed with House of the Dragon. Both shows are buzzing hard right now. Neither of them are good. I'll probably try a few more episodes of each though. 

[Grey Cloud]

On 9/6/2022 at 11:33 PM, Heroine HoneyCrotch said:

I was more annoyed with House of the Dragon.

Critics I'm watching are saying it's not great but not bad - certainly not in the same league as ROP.

 

Just started on E2 of ROP and two elves set off from their capitol to a dwarven city which is half a continent away. They just stroll off with no backpack, bedroll, ration pouch or even a cloak. They arrive at the dwarven place wearing the same clothes they were wearing when they were in the elven capitol.

They have gone to the dwarves because they want to build a tower before next spring yet the journey on foot would have taken months.

 

Don Lemonlas has just set off to explore a narrow, twisty tunnel armed with a 5ft longbow and 6-8 arrows. ?

Edited September 11, 2022 by Grey Cloud

[Popo07]

*Clutches Tolkien books to chest as a tear rolls down my cheek, whilst I peer off into the distance.*

[Allyson Wonderland]

I watched the first episode and it was so boring and cringe. I only watched it because my spouse insisted we try it. What a horrible experience. Absolute trash. Bad writing, bad acting, bad CGI, bad everything.

[Slorm]

15 hours ago, spoonsinger said:

Haven't seen it but sounds sad. That said I was a bit lukewarm about the films so some peoples tastes differ. Loved the books and the Radio 4 series in the eighties but that was a long time ago.

 

Michael Hordern made a superb Gandalf in the Radio version, it's something I still listen to. Coincidentally I'm reading the books again at the moment (I've lost count how many times I've read them now)

 

The films were okay I guess from an effects and battle point of view. I hated how the story was tampered with so badly and part of it near the end would appear to indicate that they missed the whole point of what the books were about.

 

I haven't seen the Amazon offering but it doesn't sound very inspiring

Edited September 7, 2022 by Slorm
typo

[Grey Cloud]

Fun little 1 minute video highlighting the ice troll fight I mentioned. Looks like I got my number wrong.

 

 

[Grey Cloud]

Just finished episode 2.

 

Don Lemonlas, last seen jumping into a narrow, twisty tunnel carrying a 5ft longbow is next seen moving down the tunnel without a longbow.

 

Gladys who is wearing a white nightie and is not wearing a belt is somehow still carrying her knife which she can whip out on demand and make disappear when she's done with it.

 

The humans, who are piss-poor, live in hovels and seem to be complete strangers to a bar of soap all have northern English accents. ☹️ They are also racist and seem to spend their day in the tavern.

 

So:

Dwarfs - Scottish.

Harfoots - Irish.

Peasants - northerners.

No sign of the Welsh yet, so there is that. ?

 

A lot of the dialogue scenes are shot with DoF on.

 

Elves are called 'knife-ears' by the humans. This is a term used in Dragon Age.

The cavern thing where they fight the ice troll is very reminiscent of the caves on the Storm Coast of DA Inquisition.

The lift/elevator used in the dwarven city reminded me of a similar device in one of the DA:I DLCs.

The elven capitol and the two trees reminded me of the Limgrave area of Elden Ring and the big trees in that game.

Some of the exterior shots of the elven capitol area were very like the Rift with silver birch and golden leaves everywhere.

 

Acting is pretty crap all round but the two harfoots, Nori (female Frodo) and her mate Poppy (female Sam), are impressing so far.

Edited September 11, 2022 by Grey Cloud

[Fiend71]

Welp...so much for that one...lol

 

sigh.

[sila]

On 9/7/2022 at 6:30 PM, Fiend71 said:

Welp...so much for that one...lol

 

sigh.

Was there ever any hope with Amazon at the helm? They are just as bad as Netflix with these live action shows.

[Fiend71]

21 minutes ago, sila said:

Was there ever any hope with Amazon at the helm? They are just as bad as Netflix with these live action shows.

True.  I did have hopes for that one though.  Silly me.

[donttouchmethere]

Sad elf ?

 

[Psalam]

I can't bring myself to disagree with those who have commented on the substance of this series. There are some gaping holes without a doubt.

 

However, there are things I think should be said for it. The first is somewhat exculpatory. Have you ever read anything (other than the Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings) by Tolkien? The material is incomplete to say the least and not ready for prime time (which is why Tolkien didn't publish it in his lifetime). This gives anyone who tries to develop it a difficult choice. Do I stick with the material and produce something that is incomplete and, at times, incoherent or do I make the story up myself, as best I can, based on the material I have (kind of like what happens in Skyrim: Tending the Flames)? Both are fraught with issues and leave you open to criticism. This is part of the issue with the series (and those who criticize it).

 

If, however, you try to approach it with an open mind I believe the first two episodes (all that have been released as of this writing) seem to be a legitimate (if not completely successful) attempt to tell the story that Tolkien left us. The most interesting things to be seen (to me at least) are the character developments. If the series can tell the story (the prequel to the Lord of the Rings) in an interesting manner then it can be considered a qualified success. If it can show us the development of Galadriel, Elrond, Gandalf and the other characters Tolkien made popular, then it can be considered an unqualified success.

 

So far, I have seen no sign of either thing happening but it is early days. I am prepared to give it some more time to see if they can develop it as it deserves.

[Grey Cloud]

On 9/9/2022 at 4:03 PM, Psalam said:

The material is incomplete . . .

Add to this the licensing rights limitations.

 

On 9/9/2022 at 4:03 PM, Psalam said:

Do I stick with the material and produce something that is incomplete and, at times, incoherent or do I make the story up myself, as best I can, based on the material I have . . .

Or do I fall between two stools and produce something which is not really Tolkien yet is not really a standalone fantasy adventure.

 

My biggest gripes concern the really poor scripting and dialogue, the contradictory, illogical (being kind here) or pointless plot incidents. Some examples:

Gladys in essence sails from the UK to the US but as soon as she gets the Statue of Liberty in sight decides to jump off the ship and swim back to the UK. ?

The locations and sense of distance are shown on a map.

 

Elrond and the other elf walk from France to halfway across Russia in their day clothes. They arrive at the dwarven city but only Elrond can gain access so the other elf immediately turns around and walks back to France. ?

The locations, sense of distance and route are shown on a map.

 

Don Lemonlas and his lady friend set out in daylight from her village to investigate another village and arrive at night. On surveying the scene, Don Lemonlas tells the woman to get back to her village to warns the others. She (human female) is next seen jogging into her village in daylight without having broken a sweat. She tells the men (in the tavern again) that the other village has been destroyed and they are totally underwhelmed by the news.

 

Gladys is supposed to be super woman yet everything she has done so far has gone pear-shaped.

She has spent decades, centuries(?) searching for Sauron with her 7,8 or 9 troops (disobeying her king) but is no closer to finding him than she was at the start.

 

When one of her men collapses in the blizzard scene she is all for abandoning him but her men make her stop.

 

After she kills the ice troll she wants to press on but her men mutiny and make her return home.

 

During her swim home she ends up on a raft with some survivors of a sea-serpent attack. These people chuck her off when they realise she is an elf but the sea-serpent attacks the raft and they die apart from one guy. Gladys and the guy end up on a much smaller raft which then gets hit by a storm. She ends up strapped to the mast which is sinking like a stone and taking her unconscious body down with it. The guy has to rescue her.

I'm not sure why a wooden mast would sink or why the guy had to dive in and swim down to save her when he could have just hauled on the rope connected the raft and the sinking mast.

The guy and Gladys (who was going to swim an ocean) both end up unconscious from exhaustion (and lack of supplies?) until a ship appears to rescue them right at the end of E2.

 

I'll probably be watching E3 later tonight.

 

Edited September 11, 2022 by Grey Cloud

[Grey Cloud]

On 9/7/2022 at 1:46 AM, Popo07 said:

*Clutches Tolkien books to chest as a tear rolls down my cheek, whilst I peer off into the distance.*

If you are a Tolkien nerd then don't go near this. ?

 

On 9/7/2022 at 2:23 AM, Allyson Wonderland said:

bad CGI

I agree with you but a lot of critics say the cgi is great. They must not play computer games.

[belegost]

"Bored of the rings".

[Grey Cloud]

20 minutes ago, belegost said:

"Bored of the rings".

By Harvard Lampoon - read it in the seventies. Dildo Bugger, Arrowroot and Tim Benzedrene.

[Yinkle]

Mate, I loved the books, I've read them 3 or more times over the years and Peter Jackson's films were excellent. I've watched the films more times than I care to share but this Amazon pish sent me to sleep after the 1st 20mins. And the cost was ridiculous so I hear, fucked up shit....

[legendarytoyou]

On 9/6/2022 at 3:49 PM, Grey Cloud said:

"You haven't seen what I've seen".

 

I've just watched the first episode and I've got to say that I can't recall seeing anything this bad. I've been to school nativity plays with better acting and scripts.

It's like watching your screenshots in slideshow mode - a succession of vignettes each on screen for a minute or two before flipping to the next one.

 

Here's a couple of examples of how bad it is.

 

Galadriel (Gladys as I call her) and a squad of 9 elves are trying to discover the whereabouts of Sauron. These are just regular elves not some sort of crack, hand-picked, elite unit but they are going to take on Sauron and his minions if they come across him.

At one point they are shown walking across an icy landscape, each bent forward and holding on to the one in front because of the wind. The last elf in the line collapses so the next guy shouts to Gladys. They all stop and she walks back to the guy. She walks back and the rest of the team gather around to watch as if there is no wind.

Later they are in a cave when they are attacked by an ice troll. The (male) elves try to take on the troll but get their arses handed to them. It throws a block of ice the size of a car which bowls over several of them and at least one of them is picked up and slammed against the cave wall. It does things to other elves.

Fear not, Gladys to the rescue. A quick combo of twirling her sword around her hand like a drum majorette and a few moves from a bad Wuxia film and the troll is done and dusted.

She says they must press on and the team mutiny. They lay down their swords in what, presumably, is meant to be some sort of formal act. In the shot you can clearly see that there are still 9 elves. No first-aid, no bandages, not even a limp after the troll fight of minutes ago.

 

Gladys jumps off a ship hundreds of miles from where she wants to be. The first shot shows her swimming underwater holding her sheathed knife. The next shot shows her treading water while watching the ship sailing off. Both her hands are empty.

 

Comedy central.

 

 

To that effect, wasn't Galadriel herself a very powerful sorceress but NEVER a front line soldier?  I've read the Silmarillion, the Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit and none even hinted that she was a Middle Earth version of Zaraki Kenpachi, more like a nation defender/builder really.  Did I miss something or is the Rings of Power just really poor fan fiction?

Edited September 9, 2022 by legendarytoyou

[belegost]

1 hour ago, Grey Cloud said:

By Harvard Lampoon - read it in the seventies. Dildo Bugger, Arrowroot and Tim Benzedrene.

 

My favourite was Hashberry.

 

This booklet, stupid as it was, is way more interesting than the show.

Edited September 9, 2022 by belegost

[Yinkle]

34 minutes ago, legendarytoyou said:

is the Rings of Power just really poor fan fiction?

Yes indeed.

[Grey Cloud]

On 9/9/2022 at 6:52 PM, legendarytoyou said:

is the Rings of Power just really poor fan fiction?

It would have to raise its game to make that level. ?

 

 

-----------------

 

I've just watched episode 3 and it was more of the same.

 

Gladys' first scene involves her plan A failing as soon as she opens her mouth and the raft guy having to save the situation with a plan B. Raft guy manages to snaffle Gladys' knife from the captain of the ship which rescued them. He then gets it to Gladys who secretes it away and all this is done while they are under armed escort. ?

 

The harfoots left place A to go to place B. ?‍♂️

 

Don Lemonlas has grabbed by the orcs. ? Him and other prisoners are being forced to dig something for some reason somewhere. Him and some other elves make an escape bid which results in them all except Don being killed before they get out of the diggings. Don gets brought before the orc Big Cheese at the episodes end.

Some seriously bad fight scenes during this.

 

Meanwhile, thanks to help from another man Gladys now has some concrete info on the whereabouts of Sauron.

 

I genuinely cannot think of anything else that happened. Ye gods it was grim. The show is rated M. M for masochists. ☹️

Edited September 11, 2022 by Grey Cloud

[Grey Cloud]

14 minutes ago, belegost said:

 

My favourite was Hashberry.

 

This booklet, stupid as it was, is way more interesting than the show.

They are funny in totally different ways. ?