Rings of Power by J.R.R. Tokenism.

[Grey Cloud]

Just done episode 5.

 

The queen of Numenor announces she is sending five ships and 500 'people' to combat Sauron. We wont mention that this battalion army appears to be entirely made up of volunteers who were all civilians in the last episode. ?

 

The ships seem to be crewed entirely by men bu the soldiers seem to be men and women hence 'people'. ?

 

I'm also still trying to get my head around why she is the Queen Regent when her father is still alive (though too ill to rule). She should be the Princess Regent.

 

Officer to recruit Isildur - "report to the horse-master"

Isildur - "I thought I was in the cavalry" ?

Boy is he in for a shock. ?

 

One ship gets blown up by a saboteur (fuck knows what the highly explosive liquid it was carrying was). So that means four ships were carrying 500 people plus x number of horses and even if they replace the ship and its cargo they have five ships to carry horses, people and their food, equipment and fresh water across hundreds of miles of ocean. They obviously have no idea of how much fodder horses require.

 

These are the ships which are supposed to be carrying the 'army'.

The 'people' will be like stacked timber below decks. ☹️

The exploding ship scene was as naff as fuck. Isildur and anther youth are looking at a flaming rag about a foot (30cm) from the spilled oil. They turn to make a run for it. Next scene is an aerial shot of the ships blowing up. Crowd runs to the jetty just as Isildur and the other guy arrive after a several hundred yard swim. ?‍♂️

All this is built up into some sort of high drama but you know that Isildur isn't going to get killed and probably neither is the other guy as he is looking like being Isildur's sister's love interest.

 

Gladys the ninja teaches the recruits some sword moves which would be useless for soldiers fighting in formation.

 

Looks like Don Lemonlas is going to lead a ragbag bunch of peasants in an epic Rorke's Drift/Remember the Alamo type defence of the watch tower against about a zillion orcs. It will be interesting to see how far he can make his trusty eight arrows stretch. ?

 

The Southanders are all dirt-caked peasants dressed in rags and have northern English accents. It's one thing being being depicted as filthy and rag-wearing but being called Southlanders is beyond the pale.

 

Interesting dining scene in the elven city with the elven king hosting the dwarven prince Durin. Those clearing up after were females. Maybe that one slipped past the gender police?

 

 

Edited September 23, 2022 by Grey Cloud

[Grey Cloud]

This table top is made of stone. These six elves are going to carry it like this across half a continent.

 

 

This is the exploding ship. Isildur and the other guy arrived a jetty just off the bottom left corner. The ensuing dialogue was beyond comical.

The two get dragged onto the jetty and Isildur's dad asks what happened. Isildur says either that they were both fishing in a small boat when the ship blew up, probably a cask bursting (????????) or that the other guy was doing the fishing and Isildur dived in to the water to help him get ashore.

Isildur's dad instead comes up with the theory that it was probably 'a passing brigand' (????????).

So a brigand passing through the harbour at night just decides to blow up a ship en passant. ?

 

 

 

Gladys steps onto the ship wearing the exact same armour we last saw in episode 1 when she arrived back in the elven capital. "Continuity?" "We laugh in the face of continuity".

 

See the mighty armada of Numenor as it sails to war.

There were seven or eight of these ships in the harbour. Five were earmarked for the war fleet. One of the five got blown to smithereens. That leaves three. ?

 

It will be interesting to see if in next weeks episode we get any aerial shots of the ships mid-ocean and also just how large the army is once they disembark.

On a side note I'm also guessing that they will arrive just in time to save Don Lemonlas and the peasants defending the watchtower.

[Grey Cloud]

"Gandalf. What the fuck was that for?" ?

[spoonsinger]

 

[Grey Cloud]

Where's Wally?

Where's Waldo? for our American listeners.

The circular ones are from the web; the rectangular one is me.

That's about all the people involved in that scene. It's not like there thousands involved.

There's Don Lemonlas with his trusty eight arrows. When the bad guy released him last week he turned up here with his weapons but no armour. During the running fight through the woods he clearly wasn't wearing his armour and when they got out of the woods and into the open he was clearly out of arrows as his quiver was empty. ?

 

This is the watchtower that a zillion orcs are marching on. Half the people in this scene march off to surrender to the orcs as soon as lady blue dress finishes her rousing speech. They haven't got a weapon between them so it should be interesting next episode.

Maybe they will do a MP and the Holy Grail and give it the old "I fart in your general direction".

[Grey Cloud]

Well that was episode 6. ☹️ Every week marks a new low in writing.

I watched it last night but my head was too cabbaged to post anything.

 

The entire episode was about 90% the Southlanders versus the orcs which was a radical departure from the previous episodes jumping from one of the 4 sub-plots to another every five minutes.

Adar the corrupted elf leader of the orcs delivers a speech which was a Shakespeare meets the Gettysburg Address type of rousing oratory (orcs having been oppressed and discriminated against ?). It reminded me of the scene from Blazing Saddles posted above by @spoonsinger except the other way around with the audience being the ones who spoke in gibberish.

The speech is delivered in English but later in the episode whenever Adar gives orders, in English, to his orc 2ic the 2ic relays the orders in orcish. ? Adar speaks orcish as well which he also does later in the episode. ?‍♂️

And I've just remembered that Adar addresses the orcs as 'brothers and sisters'.

 

A small part of the orc force listening to the speech:

 

 

 

 

 

The orcs on the march to the watchtower. The gap is caused by Adar's silhouette. This gives an idea of how many orcs there are - the head of the army is off the screen on the left and there are still orcs entering the on the top right. 

They are carrying torches for effect as they see perfectly well in the dark.

 

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile, back at the ranch watchtower the plucky Southlanders led by Don Lemonlas have hatched a cunning plan. They've done a runner, well all except Don Lemonlas.

Here's the orc 'attack'. Adar is at the head of the column (bottom centre) which is walking towards the main gate of the watchtower (Adar is within spitting distance of the gate).

The watchtower is actually a small fortified position with stone walls and ramparts, etc.

 

 

 

 

 

So no arrows raining down as they approach and the main gate is not barred. So definitely not a trap then.

 

The orcs enter the forecourt and Adar smell a rat or an elf.

Suddenly Don Lemonlas leaps into action. He fires a flaming arrow at this rope which burns through in 2 seconds flat. The rope looked brand new as did the wood of the thing it is attached to. The rope is running up the tower for plot reasons. This is the first the audience has seen this rope.

 

 

 

 

 

The rope burns through resulting in lots of metal(?) strapping flying off the tower followed by lots of stone blocks. So a stone watchtower built by elves is held together by metal straps which in turn are reliant on the integrity of one rope. ?

 

Adar yells, in orcish, for everyone to get out. Don Lemonlas jumps down to the outside of the fort and kicks a block of stone off the bridge wall (Adar and a zillion orcs walked past it). The block is attached to a chain whose other end is attached to a beam. The block falls into the valley pulling the chain which causes the beam to somehow cause the fort main gates to close and the now perfectly horizontal beam bars the gates from the inside which somehow prevents the orcs who are inside opening the gates.  ?

 

Don Lemonlas looks back at the tower before making good his escape.

The tower in all its glory. This is after the hail of stone blocks (which may well still be going on for all we know).

 

 

 

 

Not much of a watchtower if you can't stand in it and watch but whatever. Why the beacon is still lit is anyone's guess. In fact why is it lit at all as the elven occupation force was recalled home several episodes ago.

 

The tower then proceeds to collapse except that it collapses like a controlled explosion and falls vertically into its own footprint thus having zero effect on the orcs over in the courtyard. ?‍♂️

This shot is taken from the POV of Adar in the courtyard as the tower collapses in on itself - at no point does it topple.

 

 

 

 

All of the above takes place in near total darkness alternating with blinding flames making it extremely difficult to see what is going on. Add to that the constant flip-flopping from one shot to the next and it is next to impossible to fully grasp what is going on. I wonder why.

The plucky Southlander's cunning plan involves leaving a fortified location and returning to their village and making a stand there. ☹️

 

After this we jump to the Numenorean 'fleet' and are treated to shots of the below-decks. Apparently Numenorean ships are like the TARDIS from Dr Who.

We are treated to a totally pointless scene of Isildur going to his horse with two empty hands. He produces an apple out of thin air and takes a bite then gives the horse a bite after which there is more apple left than before the horse took a bite. He takes another bite before going up on deck, taking another bite and hurling what is still more than half of the apple out to sea. ?‍♂️

The show constantly throws in scenes like this. Scenes which serve no purpose and where the continuity within the scene is non-existent.

 

After more pointless nonsense on the ships we are back to the Southlanders as they prepare to make their stand. We have no idea of how much time has elapsed since the watchtower but we see them busy forging weapons and passing bundles of arrows around. They were/are a farming community. ?‍♂️

 

So anyway, preparations complete it's time for another rousing speech. Two in fact.

This is about half the villagers unless they need more for a particular scene. As you can see most are women, children and the elderly. Not exactly 'armed to the teeth' are we?

 

 

 

 

 

The non-combatants will 'hide' in the tavern. The one with the thatched roof. ?

 

After an overly complicated plan and a spirited defence our plucky villagers are overwhelmed by those nasty orcs. Although it takes place in daylight it is all done using the same ploys as the watchtower - flip-flopping from one scene to the next so you, hopefully, don't get time to spot the absurdities.

But . . . . <cue dramatic music>

 

 

 

 

The fucking cavalry has arrived. ???

During all this charging about stuff there were scenes where the action had obviously been speeded up. That bridge crosses a stream that a human could walk across without getting their knees wet.

 

Go Gladys go.

No idea why her forehead is dirty.

 

 

 

 

As she is charging in an orc shoots an arrow at her so she does this:

 

 

 

 

She takes out the orc while in that position. ?

 

I'm not sure why the Numenoreans with her are using (non-cavalry) swords while the rest use lances.

 

After it becomes obvious that the orcs have lost Adar flees on a horse. Gladys gives chase and as they are racing through a forest she leans forward and says something to her horse which then turns on the afterburners. ?

Suddenly coming form the opposite direction is Haldar who was last seen in the thick of the fighting in the village. He is carrying a lance and rather than try to stick either Adar or his mount he goes for the more dramatic lean out of the saddle and use the lance to trip the horse move. ? Worra guy.

 

Well they get Adar back to village and there is much back-slapping and congrats on having liberated a slum village and a couple of dozen shit encrusted peasants.

 

But Adar has outwitted them. He has sent his human sidekick with the maguffin sword which is a key.

The sidekick inserts the sword into a block of stone and turns it which moves a block of stone which didn't seem to do anything in particular except move.

 

 

 

 

 

Another block recedes into the ground thus releasing water high up on a mountain. The water falls down the mountain and through a valley. Meanwhile other water starts to burst forth from the ground in various random places.

 

 

 


 

 

 

Water races down the trench that the orcs were digging in earlier episodes and eventually somehow manges to burst into a mountain at its peak and plummet down into its bowels where the lava is.

Mountain with water rushing towards it at bottom of shot. Why the plumes of smoke are still there from when the orcs cleared the area several episodes ago is unclear. Maybe this is a shot they had from then and they chose to re-use it.

 

 

 

 

 

Water enters the mountain from the top.

 

 

 

 

 

End result is that water meets lava = volcanic eruption of biblical proportions. Strangely no tephra was launched into the air. What came out of the top of the mountain rolled down the sides.

 

The episode ends with this scene:

 

 

 

 

That wall of fire and smoke is heading towards the camera. Meanwhile Gladys just stands there glaring at it while the villagers, apart from the old guy on the left, all run towards it. ?‍♂️

 

As a bonus, I'll end with this.

While they are still on the ships, Gladys asks Isildur what his name is. He answers and she recognises it saying she should have guessed as he looks just like his father. Yet another pointless and nonsensical scene.

Isildur, his apple-nibbling horse and his dad.

 

 

 

 

?

 

Six episodes down and two to go. One village liberated, many casualties from the fighting and the eruption.

No idea what meteor man is about; no idea what the hobbits have to do with anything; no idea where they are going with the elves and dwarves and mithril thing; no idea what the three female cultists are about; no idea about several other things.

They are going to have to get a bit of a wiggle on in the final two episodes to pull all this together.

Edited October 1, 2022 by Grey Cloud

[Grey Cloud]

12 minutes well spent.

 

 

[Grey Cloud]

6 minutes of the watchtower fiasco.

 

[Grey Cloud]

Gandalf's calling it early

[Grey Cloud]

Apparently I'm 'evil'.

https://boundingintocomics.com/2022/10/05/the-lord-of-the-rings-the-rings-of-power-showrunner-accuses-critics-of-being-patently-evil/

 

This from a show where the Harfoots (hobbits) abandon any of their number who cannot keep up during the migrating. A show where Gladys is willing to abandon one of her men to certain death just because of her own self-obsession. A show where Galdys threatens to torture to death Adar's 'children' (the orcs) one by one in front of him if he doesn't give up Sauron's whereabouts. A show where Elrond(?) swears a solemn oath to Durin and then breaks it within minutes.

 

 

Evil

"In Old English and other older Germanic languages other than Scandinavian, "this word is the most comprehensive adjectival expression of disapproval, dislike or disparagement" [OED]. Evil was the word the Anglo-Saxons used where we would use bad, cruel, unskillful, defective (adj.), or harm (n.), crime, misfortune, disease (n.)."

https://www.etymonline.com/word/evil

 

"bad, cruel, unskillful, defective (adj.)" - That basically sums up 99% of the criticism the show has received.

 

Only 24 hours or so to find out how they are going to justify Gladys and the rest surviving being overwhelmed by the pyroclastic flow from Mt Dumb.

 

Edited October 8, 2022 by Grey Cloud

[Reginald_001]

2 minutes ago, Grey Cloud said:

Apparently I'm 'evil'.

https://boundingintocomics.com/2022/10/05/the-lord-of-the-rings-the-rings-of-power-showrunner-accuses-critics-of-being-patently-evil/

 

 

You will like this, if you haven't seen it already.

 

 

[Grey Cloud]

58 minutes ago, Reginald_001 said:

You will like this

?‍♂️ I don't see the point of this. The issue is not the Jackson trilogy vs ROP and which one is subjectively better or even if the the show is true to 'the lore'. The issue is that ROP is objectively bad.

 

The problem with this show is not that it doesn't follow 'the lore', the problem is that it is piss-poor in every department.

The writing of both the plot and dialogue.

Use of huge CGI landscapes and panoramas which are in contrast to anything real being pint-sized and penny packet, e.g. a village of three buildings. An 'army' nominally of 500 but never featuring anywhere near that in the one and only battle.

The fight and battle scenes which seem to have been dreamt up by a ten-year old lad.

The plastic armour and the crap cloths.

Continuity and chronology is risible.

The use of slo-mo and DoF.

The use of ridiculous camera angles - see Gladys interrogating Adar in E6.

The music hasn't registered with me at all so I can't really say one way or the other.

I don't know if the acting is bad or if it is just the actors being sold short by the writing and direction.

 

I'm waiting for the season finale plot twist where Sauron, who has decided to self-identify as a female, turns out to be Gladys while the real Gladys is being held captive.

[Reginald_001]

8 minutes ago, Grey Cloud said:

?‍♂️ I don't see the point of this.

Too bad. I just wanted to add an interesting video essay from an industry professional, that choirs your opinion on the show in the second episode of the series (how to alienate your audience). And maybe go more in depth in what else is wrong with that show. If that's not interesting to you, and nothing outside of the scope of what you consider to be the only viable criticism of the show is wanted in this thread, then no harm done, continue your rants.

Edited October 6, 2022 by Reginald_001

[Grey Cloud]

17 hours ago, Reginald_001 said:

Too bad. I just wanted to add an interesting video essay from an industry professional, that choirs your opinion on the show in the second episode of the series (how to alienate your audience). And maybe go more in depth in what else is wrong with that show. If that's not interesting to you, and nothing outside of the scope of what you consider to be the only viable criticism of the show is wanted in this thread, then no harm done, continue your rants.

Sorry if I came off a bit ignorant.

It's not about what I feel is the only viable criticism it's just that I'm not really bothered about the lore part. I've read LOTR thrice, the Hobbit twice and the Silmarillion once. I've watched the films once. None of that within the last twenty years or so.

I do not know enough about the making of TV and films and don't have a grasp or the technical lexicon to involve myself in that side of things. I originally watched the first couple of episodes to see if it was as bad as folk were making it out to be. I found it to be even worse and now watch mostly for the comedic value with a side order of speechless fascination. I've said it before, I cannot recall ever seeing anything this poorly written.

All that said, if there is any angle I've missed or anyone wants to go into more depth about anything in particular then feel free.

Edited October 7, 2022 by Grey Cloud

[sila]

Apparently the showrunner chosen for Rings of Power had no previous experience running a show. 

 

 

 

Edit:

 

10 years in hollywood with 0 credits... and they got the job running Rings of Power.

Edited October 6, 2022 by sila

[Grey Cloud]

1 hour ago, sila said:

10 years in hollywood with 0 credits... and they got the job running Rings of Power.

That's another thing which makes no sense to me. If you have a $1 billion budget what are you doing hiring writers who have no experience and a cast of no name actors? Not to mention the plastic armour (again) and the Numenorean chain mail that moves in the wind.

[Reginald_001]

13 hours ago, Grey Cloud said:

Sorry if I came off a bit ignorant.

It's not about what I feel is the only viable criticism it's just that I'm not really bothered about the lore part. I've read LOTR thrice, the Hobbit twice and the Silmarillion once. I've watched the films once. None of that within the last twenty years or so.

I do not know enough about the making of TV and films and don't have a grasp or the technical lexicon to involve myself in that side of things. I originally watched the first couple of episodes to see if it was as bad a folk were making it out to be. I found it to be even worse and now watch mostly for the comedic value with a side order of speechless fascination. I've said it before, I cannot recall ever seeing anything this poorly written.

All that said, if there is any angle I've missed or anyone wants to go into more depth about anything in particular then feel free.

It HAS gotten really really bad!

Another interesting take on why it's gotten so bad:

 

[Grey Cloud]

Episode 7 - Oh, dear. Oh dear, oh dear.

I'll have to sleep on this.

The good news is that none of the named characters died in the volcano eruption and its aftermath. ? Who'd have thought it, eh?

[Grey Cloud]

This is about episode 6 so he's a bit late and he's a Mickey Mouser but I like his style. 15 mins.

 

[Grey Cloud]

The first 10 minutes of E7. Actually, it's a couple of minutes less as they do a 'previously in ROP' bit first.

 

The opening scene as Gladys becomes aware of her surroundings post pyroclastic flow.

 

She gets to her feet. Everything is moving slowly and the sounds is like it's far away - all very dream like.

 

4:45 in and we get a wide shot.

 

We get a few more survivors and a rescue attempt of some villagers who are trapped in this house.

 

The building was destroyed around them but they are unscathed.

 

The best part of all this was that to get into the building they had to move some wooden thing (whose sole purpose was to block the doorway). So Isildur and his mate shift it and as Isildur enters the building he coughs as though he is entering a smoke-filled building.

 

The upshot of this is that Isildur is 'killed' when what's left of the structure collapses and the Numenorean queen who was helping gets a face full of sparks which blind her (at least until next week).

There's absolutely no tension or drama in any of this as we know that Isildur isn't going to be dead.

 

After this we are whisked off to the harfoots who are hundreds of miles from Mt Dumb yet somehow a couple of the fireballs/boulders from the eruption have landed right on the spot the are heading to.

The site is still smouldering when they arrive but they didn't see or hear anything.

 

 

You have to be pretty unlucky for a fireball to travel hundreds of miles and land on the only apple trees for who knows how far around. And apparently the harfoots only eat apples now. They were eating all sorts of stuff including l'escargot in the earlier episodes.

 

 

Charcoaled apple is now on the menu.

 

 

They decide to get meteor man to work his voodoo on one of the trees. So they choose a tree which is leaning down a slope and they all gather down slope of the tree. What could possibly go wrong?

There seems to only be one apple in this show. The red apple (singular) which the harfoots have and which Isildur and his horse shared last week.

 

That's about the 10 minute mark.

 

 

Edited October 8, 2022 by Grey Cloud

[Grey Cloud]

Continuity.

Pauldrons of Power.

Gladys approaching the camp.

Earlier in the episode the lad, Theo, asks Gladys "Where are we even going?" - Now that's a line they can't be accused of stealing from Tolkien.

 

 

 

 

Gladys approaches the queen regent just outside the camp.

 

 

 

 

Gladys leaving the camp two minutes later.

 

 

 

 

 

And there is Halbrand.

Gladys find him in the camp casualty tent, looks at this and announces that his wound needs elven medicine.

 

 

 

 

 

Two minutes later . . .

 

 

 

 

 

One minute after that . . .

 

 

 

 

He's not had the elven medicine yet. The horses are moving at a canter. No idea where exactly they are going, Halbrand has a sword but Gladys only has her trusty dagger as she gave her sword to Theo.  It will be interesting to see if she has the sword next week if she needs it.

Note the two sentries off to the left ready to gallop back to the camp if the enemy is sighted. The walls of this camp are made of fabric and its location . . .

 

 

 

 

I hope they have good groundsheets as they've camped in a hollow.

Still the location didn't stop the queen regent sailing off back to Numenor.

 

Neck and neck.

This is him at the beginning of the episode as they are making their way out of the devastated area.

 

 

 

 

 

This is him in the camp.

 

 

 

 

So either he's been in the camp long enough for his neck to heal but nobody has bothered to wash or  . . .

 

"I've got me an apple and I aint afraid to use it"

 

 

 

 

 

Meteor man set off for somewhere and female Fodo, female Sam, Lenny Henry and his wife set off after him. No idea what the rest of the harfoots are going to do as all their carts and belongings all got torched.

Elrond got kicked out of the dwarven city, Durin the son got stripped of his right to inherit by Durin the dad. The elves aren't getting any mithril so they will need to come up with a Plan B or die out.

The Peter Jackson balrog turned up right at the end of the episode so what will it do next week?

Queen regent has gone back to Numenor to regroup and build a bigger, better army (shouldn't be difficult given the low bar).

Gladys and Halbrand have gone somewhere, presumably to get elven medicine.

The southlanders are going to go to somewhere that sells soap or something. Why they didn't head there in the first place is anyone's guess. At one stage all of them could fit into the watchtower place. Now after being slaughtered wholesale by the orcs and then flattened and incinerated by the volcano there is still at least as many as there was in the first place.

 

It's going to be a busy hour in next week's final episode.

Edited October 9, 2022 by Grey Cloud

[Grey Cloud]

Strange. I've just watched the trailer for the season finale and it was 95% a montage of scenes from the seven episodes we have already seen. Well with this show maybe it's not not that strange. ?‍♂️

[Grey Cloud]

Gandalf Roasts Episode 7.

 

[steelpanther24]

Well the good news is that this series is a record breaking one.   So, naturally that is why it will be a couple of years before season two shows up.   All the successful series did a two year break from season 1.  Just look at Family Guy. 

 

https://www.msn.com/en-us/tv/news/rings-of-power-season-2-could-take-years-says-lotr-showrunner/ar-AA12Ma9e

 

"Naturally, production speeds for the following seasons of The Rings of Power will be quicker than season 1's because the crew has a base to work with, but the show's epic scale will still take time to create. The Rings of Power has set a high bar for itself with its record-breaking viewership for season 1, so season 2 will need to find a way not only to maintain that audience but also to expand it. This means the show's writers and designers will be putting extra care into crafting each new season, despite reports that Prime Video is fast-tracking The Rings of Power's production.

 

While some Rings of Power fans will be disappointed that there won't be a release next year, this news may be the best plan for the series. Amazon has spent a reported $700 million on The Rings of Power, and if a rushed second season fails to live up to the first's success, the company may choose to cut their losses early, jeopardizing the series' five-season plan. With that in mind, if fans truly want The Rings of Power to honor Tolkien's writings, they'll be willing to wait an extra year or two."

Edited October 13, 2022 by steelpanther24

[Grey Cloud]

21 minutes ago, steelpanther24 said:

Well the good news is that this series is a record breaking one.

Not really. There is a whole saga going on re the viewing figures. For starters the ROP minutes viewed in the first week is for two episodes whereas everyone else is one episode. Then there is the jiggery-pockery about what they are actually measuring. Minutes viewed does not equate to episodes watched.

 

Season 2 will take two years if they try to repair all the damage of season 1. All the Tolkien this and Tolkien that stuff from Screenrant is is just deflection. ROP is is terrible in every department.

The nonsense of breaking some imaginary Tolkien tradition is risible. They don't even compare like with like.

"Adar simply wishes to give the race of Orcs a home . . ." A sort of lebensraum, then?

 

Adar is probably the most interesting character in the show thus far precisely because the character has some depth and the actor can act.

 

I might watch the last episode tomorrow night, if not then Saturday.

 

Wheel of Time season 2 news has surfaced this week.