Jokes revisited.

[AKM]

 

[mircislav]

Found on Discord...

[KoolHndLuke]

 

[AKM]

My pet snake took my kid's disappearance so hard, he's gained 110 pounds since last week.

Edited January 18, 2024 by AKM

[AKM]

My wife asked me if I had seen the dog bowl.

I replied: "No, I haven't.  But I have seen him play Frisbee."

[Z0mBieP00Nani]

Not really jokes, but still funny.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[AKM]

I had a girlfriend called Lorraine.  But I realized that my true love was Claire Lee.  So I ended things with Lorraine.

I can see Claire Lee now, Lorraine is gone.

 

Spoiler

 

 

[Simpossible_xx]

 

[AKM]

"Victoria's Secret? What the heck is going on in this cockpit??"

 

"Its their box lunch!"

[nIn nIn nIn]

 

[sativa]

 

 

[AKM]

 

[chooseChaos]

2 hours ago, AKM said:

 

Pony is just green with envy  😇 

 

 

Hoof kick impact in 10, 9, 8 ... 😁

[Z0mBieP00Nani]

An Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar. The Englishman steals 3 buns and puts them into his pockets and leaves. He says to the Irishman, "That took great skill and guile to steal those buns. The owner didn't even see me."

 

The Irishman replied, "That's just simple thievery, I'II show you how to do it the honest way and get the same results." The Irishman then proceeded to call out the owner of the bakery and says, "Sir, I want to show you a magic trick." The owner was intrigued so he came over to see the magic trick. The Irishman asked him for a bun and then he proceeded to eat it. He asked 2 more times and after eating them again the owner says, "Okay my friend, where's the magic trick?".

 

The Irishman then said, "Look in the Englishman's pockets."

[AKM]

On 4/6/2024 at 10:04 AM, chooseChaos said:

Pony is just green with envy  😇 

 

 

Hoof kick impact in 10, 9, 8 ... 😁

It's literally the ponified version of the green Anon character.  'AnonFilly / Anon Filly / Anon Pony', and, for once, it's theoretically a male (meant to represent "you", that is, the Brony behind the keyboard).

 

 

 

[Guest]

"The chickens won't eat this food."

"They should. It's very high quality. In fact, it's impeccable."

"Exactly."

[jap2015]

A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide.

Spoiler

The Librarian responds: Fuck off, you want bring it back

What does a sign on an out-of -business brothel say?

Spoiler

Beat it, we're closed

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

Spoiler

You can unscrew a light bulb.

What is a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside her both thinking?

Spoiler

Shit, mom's going to kill me.

 

[Guest]

What about the cannibal who passed his mother-in-law in the jungle?

[AKM]

An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley rider for traveling faster than the posted speed limit:

He asks the old biker his name.

“Fred.” He replies.

“Fred what?” The officer asks.

“Just Fred.” The old man responds.

The officer is in a good mood, thinks he might just give the old biker a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket.

The officer then presses him for the last name.

The old man tells him that he used to have a last name, but lost it.

The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.

“Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?’

The old biker replies.

“It’s a long story, so stay with me. I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, and residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD.

After a while, I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! I got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS. I got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.

Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.

Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.”

[AKM]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[AKM]

I've got a great joke about trickle down economics but 99% of the people won't get it.

[Wandering_Mania]

Less of a 'joke', more of a 'funny observation':

 

So I was replaying NFSU (Need for Speed: Underground) and NFSU2; And NFSU2 is so old that it has rewards of your car being on some DVD covers. I just had to sit back and laugh saying: "How old is this game? And how old am I for playing these when they came out?" I mean those 2 games are over 20 years old now; It really makes you think.

[sativa]

[AKM]

 

[AKM]