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Jokes revisited.

foreversleep

By foreversleep,
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AKM

AKM

Posted
Posted (edited)
22 hours ago, Z0mBieP00Nani said:

Fuck, is this so true...

 

1666060921515885.jpg.9d44a6069d54ee662921caad8a5d4a2f.jpg


You would not believe the number of men I've met, even in the younger than 30 range, who have actively failed their biological imperative and are blissfully (and knowingly) raising someone else's kids.  And the mothers?  They want to be treated with the same level of respect as widows.  I've known exactly two widows in my time.  TWO!  It's the only time I would ever consider raising someone else's kids - but I'M the bad guy because 'What about the children?' What about them, indeed.

The real joke is not the fact that the man found himself there, but the fact that society has produced a situation where this is the only option most men in this situation have.

Edited by AKM
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Wandering_Mania

Wandering_Mania

Posted
Posted

Okay here's a good one:

Two guys are sitting at a rooftop bar. The first guy takes a swig of his drink, jumps off the building flies around it, and sits right back down.

The second guys asks: "Hey what kinda drink is that?"

The first guys replies: "It's magic juice."

The second guy orders one, takes a swig, jumps off the building and splat!

The bartender says:

Spoiler

You know... Your a real asshole when your drunk Superman.

 

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AKM

AKM

Posted
Posted

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand while he pulls a male buffalo. As soon as he got inside, the Indian said to the waiter, “Want coffee.”

“Sure, Chief. Coming right up,” the waiter replied, soon returning with a large mug of coffee.

After drinking down the coffee in one gulp, the Indian turned and shot the buffalo with his shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter all over the place as he walked out of the cafe.

The next morning, the Indian returned to the cafe. Once again, he had a shotgun in one hand and he was pulling a male buffalo in the other. Walking up to the waiter, he said, “Want coffee.”

“Whoa, Tonto!” the waiter replied. “We’re still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?”

With a huge smile on his face, the Indian responded, “Training for a position in United States Senate. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.”

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AKM

AKM

Posted
Posted
On 12/3/2022 at 6:34 PM, Z0mBieP00Nani said:

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Joke's on them actually.  I have seen information that they're panicking now that they realize what all that $600 cap actually means, and the fact that it will cause massive headaches for the government.  Oh, and on a closely related side note, this seems to be yet another issue that was caused by one side or the other voting something they wanted in, with zero agree-ability from the other extreme (yes, I said 'extreme').  Thus, there's no question of its extremism, if they couldn't get the other side to agree that it's a good idea - even to a single person.  Oh, not to mention the business-as-usual 'vote it in now, but delay its taking effect until after we're out of here so that the next bunch takes the heat for whatever problems there might be with this ill-thought-out plan' way of delayed operationalism of various laws/whathaveyou. 

One of the biggest jokes ever:

"Government": Treating citizens like children since the beginning of government formation.

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Wandering_Mania

Wandering_Mania

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, AKM said:

One of the biggest jokes ever:

"Government": Treating citizens like children since the beginning of government formation.

I agree that the government is a joke. SBF being held without bail in a prison with the 'worst recorded human rights violations in the history of mankind'; I highly doubt that he's getting away with anything. Because that prison is a place where people go to 'disappear', not to be held. So the joke is really on him.

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AKM

AKM

Posted
Posted
A pensioner drove his brand new BMW to 100 mph, looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him. He floored it to 140 , then 150, ... then 155, ... Suddenly he thought,
"I'm too old for this nonsense !"
So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.
The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said,
"Sir, my shift ends in ten minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend with my family. If you can give me a good reason that I've never heard before, why you were speeding... I'll let you go."
The Man looked very seriously at the police man, and replied :-
"Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, I thought you were bringing her back." !!!
The Cop left saying,
" Have a good day, Sir "...
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Wandering_Mania

Wandering_Mania

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, AKM said:
A pensioner drove his brand new BMW to 100 mph, looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him. He floored it to 140 , then 150, ... then 155, ... Suddenly he thought,
"I'm too old for this nonsense !"
So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.
The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said,
"Sir, my shift ends in ten minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend with my family. If you can give me a good reason that I've never heard before, why you were speeding... I'll let you go."
The Man looked very seriously at the police man, and replied :-
"Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, I thought you were bringing her back." !!!
The Cop left saying,
" Have a good day, Sir "...

That one reminds me of the 'Gabriel Iglesias' joke:

 

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