Jokes revisited.

[Reginald_001]

Meanwhile in a coffeeshop near Brooklyn Bridge..

 

"What's the WIFI code in this place?"

"I bet you want to know you bloody fucking hipster"

"Is that with or without spaces?"

"Without"

[myuhinny]

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.

 

The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, that she should retain custody of them.

 

The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification as to why he thought he should be allowed to have the children.

 

After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied...

 

"Your honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a coke comes out, does the coke belong to me or the machine?"

 

 

---------------------------

 

A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?"

 

Well honey... said the mom. "the stork brought you to us."

 

Oh, said the boy. "Well how did you and daddy get born?"

 

Oh, "the stork brought us too," chimed in the dad.

 

Well "how were grandpa and grandma born?" he persisted.

 

Well honey, "the stork brought them too!" said the mom, who was by now starting to squirm a little in the lazy boy recliner.

 

Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence. "This report has been very difficult to write because there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for 3 generations"

[foreversleep]

[2dk2c.2]

http://massageidahofalls.co/the-far-side-cows/

 

 

 

 

 

[Pork Type]

I'm not sure what possesses me sometimes.

 

Let's begin again.

 

 

[foreversleep]

[foreversleep]

One I found on a narcolepsy forum.

 

 

[Reginald_001]

[Mr. Otaku]

13 minutes ago, Reginald_001 said:

 

I'm literally crying and shaking right now. Es Em H. This is so sad. Liek eef u agrie.

 

[Reginald_001]

Having that said..

 

[gregathit]

Ok folks, knock off the political and religious nonsense.  It is clearly against forum rules.  No means no.

[winny257]

I do not understand a word. 

 

[winny257]

 

 

[Reginald_001]

[Reginald_001]

[Reginald_001]

My ex-wfie when we were still married: "Hey honey, can you do that thing.. you know the thing.. that I like so much?"

Me: "Sure babe" --hands over creditcard--

[Reginald_001]

Stolen straight from Youtube:

 

How does Doom guy not have PTSD?

 

 

Because he is the traumatic event.

 

 

 

[TangoG]

On 8/19/2019 at 6:26 PM, Pork Type said:

Yeah, kick a man while his internet is down.

 

"Eton," you disingenuous fucks, is an elite British prep school. The most simple internet search will tell anyone so. So quit jerking each other off.

 

My point? Was... Who cares. You're all revealed, now, as a bunch of circle jerking bellends.

 

ie: its a school for rich entitled pricks where they go to learn how to be corrupt polititians and members of the "elite" ruling class, with lessons on how to take what they can with impunity from the other 99% of the population. Mostly they grow up to be total slimeballs

[2dk2c.2]

O. what's "catalepsy" "Cataplexy" ?
A man says that narcoleptics have a different sense of humor.
Yeah but I fell asleep reading your mind-numbingly boring piece-of-shit article.
https://massivesci.com/articles/nacrolepsy-humor-brain-ode-to-joy/


Catatonic: Awake but dead to the world.
Cataleptic: Catatonic with stiffness (I was gonna say "with fries" but you'd all sue me and say I donated sums to a political party. Whatever morally reprehensible thing I've done in your eyes, what does it have to do with donating?)
If you tickle a cataplectic who is in a catatonic state and they become cataleptic...
Too much algebra, does not compute, insufficient data.
error...error...Landru, Help me!!

Anyway:
Find a joke that won't put her into a cataleptic cataplectic seizure, *That's what I meant to write.
(I mean, unless saying someone has catalepsy cataplexy is an unforgivable insult, then of course, nevermind)

 

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/things-people-with-narcol_b_10343256

 

 

[AKM]

What do you call a blind deer?

 

No eye deer.  ("No idea", in piss poor Southern U.S. accent.)

 

 

 

What do you get when you run over a canary with a lawnmower?

 

Shredded tweet.

[nonusnomeni]

masochist meet sadist in pub

...torture me torture me...

...nooooope...

[Reginald_001]

[Pork Type]

[AKM]

[Reginald_001]