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Jokes revisited.

foreversleep

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Grey Cloud

Grey Cloud

Posted
Posted

One-liners from The Edinburgh Fringe

 

Swedish comedian Olaf Falafel has won Dave's "Funniest Joke of The Fringe" award with the niche culinary pun.

He took the title with the gag: "I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have florets".

On his joke claiming the top spot, Falafel said: "This is a fantastic honour but it's like I've always said, jokes about white sugar are rare, jokes about brown sugar... demerara."

 

Best of the rest

Ten jokes made the 2019 shortlist. Here are the next nine:

 

    "Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy" - Richard Stott


    "What's driving Brexit? From here it looks like it's probably the Duke of Edinburgh" - Milton Jones


    "A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, 'Yes, of course. - That's 20 cows'" - Jake Lambert


    "A thesaurus is great. There's no other word for it" - Ross Smith


    "Sleep is my favourite thing in the world. It's the reason I get up in the morning" - Ross Smith


    "I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course; I'm really struggling to get out of it" - Adele Cliff


    "After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging - Richard Pulsford


    "To be or not to be a horse rider, that is Equestrian" - Mark Simmons


    "I've got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad's contacts" - Ivo Graham

 

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Pork Type

Pork Type

Posted
Posted
27 minutes ago, Grey Cloud said:

One-liners from The Edinburgh Fringe

 

Swedish comedian Olaf Falafel has won Dave's "Funniest Joke of The Fringe" award with the niche culinary pun.

He took the title with the gag: "I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have florets".

On his joke claiming the top spot, Falafel said: "This is a fantastic honour but it's like I've always said, jokes about white sugar are rare, jokes about brown sugar... demerara."

 

Best of the rest

Ten jokes made the 2019 shortlist. Here are the next nine:

 

    "Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy" - Richard Stott


    "What's driving Brexit? From here it looks like it's probably the Duke of Edinburgh" - Milton Jones


    "A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, 'Yes, of course. - That's 20 cows'" - Jake Lambert


    "A thesaurus is great. There's no other word for it" - Ross Smith


    "Sleep is my favourite thing in the world. It's the reason I get up in the morning" - Ross Smith


    "I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course; I'm really struggling to get out of it" - Adele Cliff


    "After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging - Richard Pulsford


    "To be or not to be a horse rider, that is Equestrian" - Mark Simmons


    "I've got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad's contacts" - Ivo Graham

 

Fuck You.

 

Let's just get that out of the way. Now, Let's discuss the jokes!

 

...

 

Fuck You.

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Grey Cloud

Grey Cloud

Posted
Posted
34 minutes ago, foreversleep said:

I really don't understand what was wrong with the jokes Grey Cloud posted and why you should have a problem with them.

Thanks, I'm still confused.

(I bet the one about sleep was your favourite). ?

1 hour ago, Pork Type said:

Perhaps.

Definitely. What do you think Eton is?

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Reginald_001

Reginald_001

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, Grey Cloud said:

Definitely. What do you think Eton is?

A US-based importer and manufacturer of shortwave radios?

A traditional English dessert?

The first song by The Jam to reach the top ten in the UK charts?

A Swedish men's shirt brand?

Several English and Mexican colleges with that name?

 

So many options! I mean.. who knows?

 

 

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foreversleep

foreversleep

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3 minutes ago, Reginald_001 said:

A US-based importer and manufacturer of shortwave radios?

A traditional English dessert?

The first song by The Jam to reach the top ten in the UK charts?

A Swedish men's shirt brand?

Several English and Mexican colleges with that name?

 

So many options! I mean.. who knows?

For those brought up in Britain and the British Commonwealth countries there is only one Eton.  I had no difficulty understanding the joke.

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Reginald_001

Reginald_001

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, foreversleep said:

For those brought up in Britain and the British Commonwealth countries there is only one Eton.  I had no difficulty understanding the joke.

Ok. As I inferred, Context is for Kings. :)

My understanding of British politics is 0.0%. Something I'm going to keep that way.

I'm here for the jokes. :P

 

(Also explains why I didn't get the joke.. I mean.. at all.)

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Grey Cloud

Grey Cloud

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Reginald_001 said:

A US-based importer and manufacturer of shortwave radios?

Edinburgh is in the UK so this option is unlikely.

 

1 hour ago, Reginald_001 said:

A traditional English dessert?

Never heard of it.

 

1 hour ago, Reginald_001 said:

The first song by The Jam to reach the top ten in the UK charts?

That would be 'Eton Rifles' which refers to the same establishment as the joke.

 

1 hour ago, Reginald_001 said:

A Swedish men's shirt brand?

Edinburgh is in the UK so this option is unlikely.

 

1 hour ago, Reginald_001 said:

Several English and Mexican colleges with that name?

Unaware of any other college though they may well exist. Hardly likely to be a joke about a college in Mexico which no one in the UK has heard of. Even less likely for the joke to make it to the top ten list.

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Pork Type

Pork Type

Posted
Posted

Yeah, kick a man while his internet is down.

 

"Eton," you disingenuous fucks, is an elite British prep school. The most simple internet search will tell anyone so. So quit jerking each other off.

 

My point? Was... Who cares. You're all revealed, now, as a bunch of circle jerking bellends.

 

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Grey Cloud

Grey Cloud

Posted
Posted
58 minutes ago, Pork Type said:

Yeah, kick a man while his internet is down.

 

"Eton," you disingenuous fucks, is an elite British prep school. The most simple internet search will tell anyone so. So quit jerking each other off.

 

My point? Was... Who cares. You're all revealed, now, as a bunch of circle jerking bellends.

 

Thank you for the rational and lucid explanation.

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foreversleep

foreversleep

Posted
  • Author
Posted
3 hours ago, Pork Type said:

My point? Was... Who cares. You're all revealed, now, as a bunch of circle jerking bellends.

Removing a bur from your arse.

 

These prickly seeds can be found on some plants and will stick to your arse if you come into contact with them. It’s important to try to remove burrs as soon as possible. Besides being uncomfortable, they can become embedded in skin, which can lead to an infection.

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