Lurkers and Nobodies

[KoolHndLuke]

There! On the edges of heated discussions, arguments, commentaries! Them! They just silently watch and absorb, hardly ever giving any indication they're there. They might add a comment here or there and quickly disappear into the nothingness again. Why don't they participate more? Why do they keep their distance? And more importantly, who are they?

 

Have you ever cornered and gotten to know a lurker? 

Edited October 17, 2022 by KoolHndLuke

[Guest]

> I do not know any lurker but I know some members (who are very dear LL friends of mine) who rather stay in shadows for the reasons you listed in OP. Since there are LL members who enjoy in insulting other members with reason or without reason because hurting others is what makes them happy, no wonder why those do not participate in any discussion no matter how good the topic is. Of course, they are other lurkers who joined for LL for downloads and they do not care about the rest of LL world (which is OK too).

[an angel of blood]

i'm often more of a lurker but that implies being on here often, which im sadly not, its usually really nice here. but i guess most of the discussion topics dont appeal to me

[CaptainJ03]

I have to say that I prefer lurkers over noobs that stumble into one thread, not reading a single line and asking their noob questions. Preferably the one that has been answered two posts further up.

[DrunkenCow]

6 hours ago, KoolHndLuke said:

Why don't they participate more?

 

 

Advice you can live by...

[Grey Cloud]

I keep reading the thread title as "Lurkers and Noodles" ☹️ ?‍♂️

[Alessia Wellington]

Just now, Grey Cloud said:

I keep reading the thread title as "Lurkers and Noodles"

 

You've just got yourself a new brand of microwave food. It really does sound like one.

[KoolHndLuke]

Just now, Alessia Wellington said:

You've just got yourself a new brand of microwave food. It really does sound like one.

It kinda does, doesn't it? 

[pinkfluf]

I didn't even read the 2nd word, lurkers got my attention and I got all excited.

[Guest]

8 hours ago, KoolHndLuke said:

Them! They just silently watch and absorb, hardly ever giving any indication they're there.

Sounds like me... ?

[Grey Cloud]

1 hour ago, Alessia Wellington said:

You've just got yourself a new brand of microwave food. It really does sound like one.

Made with real lurkers.

[Gukahn]

58 minutes ago, pinkfluf said:

I didn't even read the 2nd word, lurkers got my attention and I got all excited.

We really do need more love for them and the Seekers don't we?

 

5 hours ago, CaptainJ03 said:

I have to say that I prefer lurkers over noobs that stumble into one thread, not reading a single line and asking their noob questions. Preferably the one that has been answered two posts further up.

Which is one of the reasons why I mutate into an asshole sometimes or try to stay away from support

 

8 hours ago, Evaloves4 said:

Since there are LL members who enjoy in insulting other members with reason or without reason because hurting others is what makes them happy, no wonder why those do not participate in any discussion no matter how good the topic is.

actually a very good point. Many people, I count myself in on that one, just don't want to play that game anymore, especially not with people you can't argue with or if you're  on the more sensitive side and took stuff like that to heart.

 

[steelpanther24]

On 10/17/2022 at 12:08 PM, Gukahn said:

Which is one of the reasons why I mutate into an asshole sometimes or try to stay away from support

 

 

I was trying to handle those level one tech questions and still do on some forums because I think I have more patience than some more knowledgeable people here, but that backfired on me and I had to name drop to get the level three tech help to read the thread.   

 

On 10/17/2022 at 3:42 AM, Evaloves4 said:

> I do not know any lurker but I know some members (who are very dear LL friends of mine) who rather stay in shadows for the reasons you listed in OP. Since there are LL members who enjoy in insulting other members with reason or without reason because hurting others is what makes them happy, no wonder why those do not participate in any discussion no matter how good the topic is. Of course, they are other lurkers who joined for LL for downloads and they do not care about the rest of LL world (which is OK too).

Along with that, I wonder how many of the more active posters are "type a" personalities in public or how many are only type a when they are online.    However, when some people without their opinions out of fear of being attacked, it is regrettable because making the discussion space where every opinion is listened to and not attacked helps improve the site overall.  

 

Though it may also be that not everyone agrees with what "being a dick" is in the prime LL rule "don't be a dick".

 

Finally, there are some long time posters here who are very abrasive, but they are always that way, so I know what to expect.  

[AKM]

4 hours ago, steelpanther24 said:

I wonder how many of the more active posters are "type a" personalities in public or how many are only type a when they are online.

Probably less than one would think.  I, for one, have made my point of view known on here with regards to some subjects that I make a point to not talk about at all in the real world. 

Multiple reasons:

1. Having any opinion that is not absolutely toeing the line of the accepted norm can get you a LOT of trouble in the real world.  (Case in point: Kinks.  Anything non-standard.)  If you're going to say something that's not 100% in line with what the standard societal viewpoint is, then expect push back, possibly violent, possibly physical.  I try not to be one of those arseholes who intentionally pushes peoples' buttons online, but at the same time, I've seen too many examples of certain things that make absolutely no sense in the real world to NOT speak up when the subject comes up online.  Doesn't make me popular, but at least I won't have to deal with in person violence when I state my Non-State-Sponsored response.

Saying anything in the real world, no matter how stupid what you see is, is an easy way to get yourself far more trouble than The Truth (as you see it) is worth.

2. Forums such as this make an excellent place to vent.  Again, no requirement for a physical response to something someone else regards as wrong/stupid/etc., but also simply writing something down can have a massive effect on one's perception of whatever the subject matter of the moment is.  If you write it down, whether typed or hand written, you must think about it far more than you normally would.  This allows for a deeper dive into the specifics of whatever the issue is, and might shed some light on said issue that you hadn't thought about before.

3. As an extension of #2, having written it down, especially typed on a forum, you can go back to it later, and you're doing a far deeper dive into the thought than you would in a real world conversation, generally.  You also get viewpoints from people all over the place, with all kinds of different backgrounds, experiences, and lives.  Not the sort of response you'd tend to get when talking to people in the real world, as there's got to be some sort of bias to the people you meet (as there is here, too, of course), and that would tend to heavily skew the results.  By going to a forum, you're more likely to get a variety of responses, results, etc., but could easily encounter the type that uses the lack of physical threat to responses as an excuse to either push buttons, or to really go off the deep end with some subjects.

 

4 hours ago, steelpanther24 said:

However, when some people without their opinions out of fear of being attacked, it is regrettable because making the discussion space where every opinion is listened to and not attacked helps improve the site overall.  

 

Though it may also be that not everyone agrees with what "being a dick" is in the prime LL rule "don't be a dick".

 

Finally, there are some long time posters here who are very abrasive, but they are always that way, so I know what to expect.  

This is pretty much what I said above.  Some people take words seriously, while others can just brush it off.  And some people are just plain abrasive because they can be - no fear of physical harm as a result of being unpleasant.

Edited October 20, 2022 by AKM

[KoolHndLuke]

5 hours ago, AKM said:

others can just brush it off

Or give the appearance of doing so. Some things ppl say in forums bother the hell outta me, but not so much that I'm going weigh in on the given subject. I tend to separate net life from the real rather neatly and won't allow myself to get hung up on posts that are clearly meant to provoke. If that means I need to play the lurker for awhile, I do. 

 

if there was going to be some kind of message LL gave to ppl other than NSFW mods, it would be "leave your hate at the door upon entering, please". I don't expect ppl to always get along, but I do expect them to maintain a level of civility.

Edited October 20, 2022 by KoolHndLuke

[Vader666]

On 10/17/2022 at 9:34 AM, KoolHndLuke said:

Why don't they participate more?

 

Maybe because they think taking part in social activities aka "dealing with people" is tiring at best.

 

[X1R1]

I lurked for years, this is my first time ever even bothering with the forums.

 My reason is that I forgot I even had an account.

[Pamatronic]

3 minutes ago, X1R1 said:

I lurked for years, this is my first time ever even bothering with the forums.

Fake news. Its your second time.

[X1R1]

4 hours ago, Pamatronic said:

Fake news. Its your second time.

Maybe you know me better, huh? When was the first time? As I don't even know who you are.

[travelmedic]

We don't have to know who you are...  we just have to know to look at the little bubble and number of posts under your profile pic

[X1R1]

I guess people here have a different definition of what a lurker is than the dictionary or internet.

[ElaboratePseudonym]

As a lurker,  nobody, and occasional participant in the forums, here is a short summary of why.

 

To paraphrase a quote of not quite known origin, "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than speak and remove all doubt." While Vanity tells me that all readers would warmly embrace my robust linguistic display of acquired wisdom, Reason counters, asking if my assessments of my own skills are entirely accurate.

 

Also, it takes quite along time to formulate and state any idea or response because I would like the result to be both as accurate and eloquent as possible. Anyway, as you can see (read), you are probably not missing out on too much if I mostly keep to myself.

Edited October 21, 2022 by ElaboratePseudonym

[steelpanther24]

20 hours ago, X1R1 said:

Maybe you know me better, huh? When was the first time? As I don't even know who you are.

I think he was just teasing, but I like that you are quickly doubling the number of posts.   See, it gets addictive, and before you know it, you are sharing knowledge with us and we will all be better for it! 

Edited October 21, 2022 by steelpanther24

[steelpanther24]

7 hours ago, ElaboratePseudonym said:

Also, it takes quite along time to formulate and state any idea or response because I would like the result to be both as accurate and eloquent as possible. Anyway, as you can see (read), you are probably not missing out on too much if I mostly keep to myself.

 

Excellent advice for most of us.    I like to learn from other people's mistakes who take my advice, that is how I improve.   Having high standards for your own posts generally speaks to a thoughtful and purposeful process, so I suspect you are underestimating yourself.

[artgeektopia]

Eh. Last time I was active in a community, I was a fucking Mormon. I had a lot of opinions. Most of them were...flawed. Now I don't really trust myself to know wtf I'm talking about.

 

*skulks back into the abyss*