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Corrupt A Wish


Ashal

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Posted
Quote
17 minutes ago, NitroHamlin said:

Granted. But two thirds of it was used to buy my Elusidator longsword replica (that I've been longing to get rid of) off me, and one sixth is used for socks that you will wear but are too warm for summer and too cool for winter. The rest you get to keep.

 

I wish the Divine and Unholy were both not malicious.

 

GRANTED! Now they will simply be vengeful!

 

I wish everyone has a Happy Easter!

Posted
1 minute ago, Psalam said:

GRANTED! Now they will simply be vengeful!

 

I wish everyone has a Happy Easter!

Granted. Everyone except for me. (my mother left my father and said she was never coming back)

 

I wish spaceships existed, were affordable, available to the public and have really cool performance and design.

Posted
Quote
21 minutes ago, NitroHamlin said:

Granted. Everyone except for me. (my mother left my father and said she was never coming back)

 

I wish spaceships existed, were affordable, available to the public and have really cool performance and design.

 

GRANTED! but only for residents of Alpha Centauri.

 

I wish that more humans would "just get over themselves."

Posted
13 minutes ago, Psalam said:

GRANTED! but only for residents of Alpha Centauri.

 

I wish that more humans would "just get over themselves."

Granted. This can be achieved with a game of "Leap-Frog".

 

I wish Psalam had along with his theme song, a boss theme song.

Posted
Quote
1 minute ago, NitroHamlin said:

Granted. This can be achieved with a game of "Leap-Frog".

 

I wish Psalam had along with his theme song, a boss theme song.

 

GRANTED! but whatever made you think I'd post it here?

 

I wish RL didn't have plans for me today.

Posted
37 minutes ago, Psalam said:

I wish RL didn't have plans for me today.

Granted! RL will have no plans for you. Whatever happens is just random unplanned bad luck. ?️

 

I wish I could decide between baked beans or spinach to go with my lunch.

Posted
29 minutes ago, worik said:

Granted! RL will have no plans for you. Whatever happens is just random unplanned bad luck. ?️

 

I wish I could decide between baked beans or spinach to go with my lunch.

GRANTED! You get both, followed by the runs for a day and toxic gas for a week.

 

I wish I didn't have to go back to work tonight.

Posted
Quote
31 minutes ago, jfraser said:

GRANTED! You get both, followed by the runs for a day and toxic gas for a week.

 

I wish I didn't have to go back to work tonight.

 

GRANTED! instead you will be injured in an accident that could have been easily prevented.

 

I wish I could get my hands on some fresh peaches.

Posted
27 minutes ago, Psalam said:

I wish I could get my hands on some fresh peaches.

Granted

Your hands can touch them. The best fresh peaches you ever touched in your life.

.. but there a nasty dwarf with a fierce red beard, scars, a big axe and a grim face nearby who loudly proclaimed that he "hates peach eaters to the death"

 

59 minutes ago, jfraser said:

GRANTED! You get both, followed by the runs for a day and toxic gas for a week.

:classic_ohmy:Surprisingly close to reality :classic_blush:

 

I wish I will survive the next dungeon without a reload or terrible wounds.

Posted
Quote
9 minutes ago, worik said:

Granted

Your hands can touch them. The best fresh peaches you ever touched in your life.

.. but there a nasty dwarf with a fierce red beard, scars, a big axe and a grim face nearby who loudly proclaimed that he "hates peach eaters to the death"

 

:classic_ohmy:Surprisingly close to reality :classic_blush:

 

I wish I will survive the next dungeon without a reload or terrible wounds.

 

Granted! you can simply play through the dungeon at 4 fps.

 

I wish all my computer programs would actually not update without my consent when they say they will not update without my consent.

Posted
1 hour ago, Psalam said:

Granted! you can simply play through the dungeon at 4 fps.

 

I wish all my computer programs would actually not update without my consent when they say they will not update without my consent.

GRANTED! You will never get any updates ever again and all of your programs and applications will slowly become obsolete, leaving you with a computer that can never run anything.

 

I wish I didn't have to go to this family thing today.

 

 

Also, @Worick, eek!

Posted
Quote
12 minutes ago, jfraser said:

GRANTED! You will never get any updates ever again and all of your programs and applications will slowly become obsolete, leaving you with a computer that can never run anything.

 

I wish I didn't have to go to this family thing today.

 

 

Also, @Worick, eek!

 

GRANTED! you can skip it and spend the rest of your life feeling guilty and depressed instead.

 

I wish RL had the same sort of well-defined rules and interactions as computer games.

Posted
9 hours ago, Psalam said:

GRANTED! you can skip it and spend the rest of your life feeling guilty and depressed instead.

 

I wish RL had the same sort of well-defined rules and interactions as computer games.

Granted and I'll even throw in user created mods, however with this there is also a paid mods service that updates alongside RL, making user created mods broken or really buggy.

 

I wish there were more games with excellent character creation and customization, with a multitude of cool and cute races to choose from and a wide range of weapon types to choose from. (I might be asking for too much haha).

Posted
29 minutes ago, NitroHamlin said:

Granted and I'll even throw in user created mods, however with this there is also a paid mods service that updates alongside RL, making user created mods broken or really buggy.

 

I wish there were more games with excellent character creation and customization, with a multitude of cool and cute races to choose from and a wide range of weapon types to choose from. (I might be asking for too much haha).

Granted!!!

 

You can expect to have a computer that is able to run such a game somewhere around 2317.

 

I wish I had remembered to bring my gaming laptop on this trip. 

Posted
1 hour ago, jfraser said:

Granted!!!

 

You can expect to have a computer that is able to run such a game somewhere around 2317.

 

I wish I had remembered to bring my gaming laptop on this trip. 

Granted. But the battery fell out and exploded in your rush to leave then you realise you forgot your charger as well.

 

I wish more medievalish fantasy rpg games stopped following the generic sword/axe/hammer 1h & 2h, bow and generic stick catalyst weapon types and came up with a little more 'Pizazz'

Posted
19 minutes ago, NitroHamlin said:

Granted. But the battery fell out and exploded in your rush to leave then you realise you forgot your charger as well.

 

I wish more medievalish fantasy rpg games stopped following the generic sword/axe/hammer 1h & 2h, bow and generic stick catalyst weapon types and came up with a little more 'Pizazz'

GRANTED!

They're made exclusively by EA. All the Pizazis locked in loot boxes.

 

I wish I was out of debt.

Posted
Quote
5 hours ago, jfraser said:

GRANTED!

They're made exclusively by EA. All the Pizazis locked in loot boxes.

 

I wish I was out of debt.

 

GRANTED! however, since you are "now married" you are on the line for a great deal more of their debt with more coming with every child.

 

I wish I were a bit less cynical.

Posted
1 hour ago, Psalam said:

GRANTED! however, since you are "now married" you are on the line for a great deal more of their debt with more coming with every child.

 

I wish I were a bit less cynical.

Granted. But now everyone you talk to now speaks like a generic anime "Tsundere" ("It's not that I like that you're not cynical anymore, BAKA!!")

 

I wish stupid archetypes that almost completely put me off anime didn't exist (or at least were a rarity).

Posted
Quote
1 hour ago, NitroHamlin said:

Granted. But now everyone you talk to now speaks like a generic anime "Tsundere" ("It's not that I like that you're not cynical anymore, BAKA!!")

 

I wish stupid archetypes that almost completely put me off anime didn't exist (or at least were a rarity).

 

Quote
1 hour ago, NitroHamlin said:

Granted. But now everyone you talk to now speaks like a generic anime "Tsundere" ("It's not that I like that you're not cynical anymore, BAKA!!")

 

I wish stupid archetypes that almost completely put me off anime didn't exist (or at least were a rarity).

 

GRANTED! Anime will now be as free of stereotypes as the mainstream news media (take that any way you like).

 

By the way, nice byplay with Tsundere and anime stereotypes.

 

I wish so many human beings would not exert their free will in such a way as to behave like stereotypes.

Posted

Granted! Now the stereotypes you love in all media are now gone, like Arnie quotes, like action movie quotes, all gone!

 

I wish there were more dark vampire anime like Hellsing and not like Blood Lad.

Posted
Quote
5 hours ago, Oburael said:

Granted! Now the stereotypes you love in all media are now gone, like Arnie quotes, like action movie quotes, all gone!

 

I wish there were more dark vampire anime like Hellsing and not like Blood Lad.

 

GRANTED! there is an unending supply of the anime you love, unfortunately it can only be found in Addis Ababa and its language is Bantu (no subtitles allowed - it's a religious thing).

 

I wish, for just one day, all politicians were forced to speak the truth (as in the movie "Liar, Liar.")

Posted
55 minutes ago, Psalam said:

GRANTED! there is an unending supply of the anime you love, unfortunately it can only be found in Addis Ababa and its language is Bantu (no subtitles allowed - it's a religious thing).

 

I wish, for just one day, all politicians were forced to speak the truth (as in the movie "Liar, Liar.")

Granted. But all who are classified as a politician will be a Jim Carrey-fied version of themselves.

 

Oh and all classified intelligence will be revealed to the public, take this however you like.

 

I wish my computer wouldn't slow down after playing so much smutty text games.

Posted
Quote
42 minutes ago, NitroHamlin said:

Granted. But all who are classified as a politician will be a Jim Carrey-fied version of themselves.

 

Oh and all classified intelligence will be revealed to the public, take this however you like.

 

I wish my computer wouldn't slow down after playing so much smutty text games.

 

GRANTED! instead it will simply lock up.

 

I wish, speaking of Jim Carrey, that I had the MASK.

Posted
Quote
58 minutes ago, Anonyshadow said:

GRANTED! but the mask is permanently attached to your face via nail gun and you become Jim Carrey. P.s. the wounds never heal...

 

I wish that my wienershnitzel was made by a German version of gordon Ramsay.

 

GRANTED! his name is Devlet Erdogan (distantly related to the current president of Turkey) whose family emigrated to Germany 20 years ago. He made your wienerschnitzel (being 15 now) with the same culinary skill Gordon Ramsay had at that age.

 

I wish I had some extra time right about now.

Posted
Quote
18 minutes ago, Anonyshadow said:

GRANTED! You've been framed for killing thousands and are now locked up in maximum security solitary confinement cell, you now have all the time in the world!

 

I wish I was undead...

 

GRANTED! what you've come to discover is that undead is the same as alive.

 

I wish my patients had the courtesy to call and cancel their appointments rather than just not showing up.

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