Corrupt A Wish

[NitroHamlin]

On 3/25/2019 at 9:51 PM, Psalam said:

GRANTED! The boot (trunk) of your car now contains 10 ** 100 extradimensional spaces that are replicas of the original boot, unfortunately, you can't access them from here.

 

I wish I were fluent in the language(s) of the Dead Sea scrolls.

Granted. But it is now the only language you know. No one understands you, so you are forced to live in solitude in the mountains (or on/near a beach because, you know, Dead Sea Scrolls).

 

I wish I had a better phone.

[Psalam]

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11 hours ago, NitroHamlin said:

Granted. But it is now the only language you know. No one understands you, so you are forced to live in solitude in the mountains (or on/near a beach because, you know, Dead Sea Scrolls).

 

I wish I had a better phone.

 

GRANTED! Your phone is now better at dropping calls!

 

I wish I had a new computer.

[NitroHamlin]

1 hour ago, Psalam said:

GRANTED! Your phone is now better at dropping calls!

 

I wish I had a new computer.

Granted. You now have a brand new computer made with parts from the early 90's. Your old computer is nowhere to be seen.

 

I wish I would feel more motivated to start drawing again.

[Psalam]

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3 minutes ago, NitroHamlin said:

Granted. You now have a brand new computer made with parts from the early 90's. Your old computer is nowhere to be seen.

 

I wish I would feel more motivated to start drawing again.

 

GRANTED! You now have all the motivation in the world but you have completely lost the ability due to atrophy!

 

I wish I had a new couch.

[NitroHamlin]

6 minutes ago, Psalam said:

GRANTED! You now have all the motivation in the world but you have completely lost the ability due to atrophy!

 

I wish I had a new couch.

Granted. You'll get your new couch, but in addition to this a centaur guy will move in with you and sleep on said couch (he'll clean up after himself, fortunately). Over time it begins smell like horse, and you'll need to find out for yourself on how to get the smell out. Good luck. ?

 

I wish I knew how to make costumes for myself.

[worik]

23 minutes ago, NitroHamlin said:

I wish I knew how to make costumes for myself.

Granted! Now you know how, but you have to 2 left hands ?️ and can't make your brain to coordinate them in any way.

 

I wish I had a fresh salad with roasted salmon right now.

[Psalam]

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13 minutes ago, worik said:

Granted! Now you know how, but you have to 2 left hands ?️ and can't make your brain to coordinate them in any way.

 

I wish I had a fresh salad with roasted salmon right now.

 

GRANTED! Sadly, you own it but you'll have to go to Addis Ababa to eat it (by which point it will likely not be fresh).

I wish I knew more about the ancient kingdom of Aksum.

[worik]

4 hours ago, Psalam said:

I wish I knew more about the ancient kingdom of Aksum.

Granted! Now you know so much that you joyfully expand the wikipedia article https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kingdom_of_Aksum

Fanatics will read it, and will become intrigued. They will influence the masses with your glorious article and wage a war against the whole world in order to restore the kingdom to it's former glory.

 

I wish there was a law and proper enforcement that all passengers must either have taken a shower or wear a hazmat suit before they are allowed in public spaces (namely MY train). The hazmat suits would have to stay closed... to keep their smell INSIDE.

[Psalam]

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3 minutes ago, worik said:

Granted! Now you know so much that you joyfully expand the wikipedia article https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kingdom_of_Aksum

Fanatics will read it, and will become intrigued. They will influence the masses with your glorious article and wage a war against the whole world in order to restore the kingdom to it's former glory.

 

I wish there was a law and proper enforcement that all passengers must either have taken a shower or wear a hazmat suit before they are allowed in public spaces (namely MY train). The hazmat suits would have to stay closed... to keep their smell INSIDE.

 

Granted! Now everyone on YOUR train must take a shower using pig sty effluvia (including you)!

 

I wish my children got along better.

[worik]

24 minutes ago, Psalam said:

I wish my children got along better.

Granted! They go so well, that they reenact the great revolt of 1173, with you in the seat of Henry II.   ⚔️

 

I wish we had at least one politician in my countries ruling parties who is not completly disgusting and an outright disgrace.

[Psalam]

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10 minutes ago, worik said:

Granted! They go so well, that they reenact the great revolt of 1173, with you in the seat of Henry II.   ⚔️

 

I wish we had at least one politician in my countries ruling parties who is not completly disgusting and an outright disgrace.

 

Granted! (Henry II, huh). You also get to live in England in Henry II's reign and deal with Thomas a Becket.

I wish Ireland was reunified.

[worik]

On 3/27/2019 at 6:34 PM, Psalam said:

I wish Ireland was reunified.

Granted under the wise rule of the british lordprotector Boris I.

 

I wish I would (still) be that flexible: https://static.loverslab.com/uploads/monthly_2019_03/1553004074-cropped-Tayla-Harris-kicking-horiz-Getty.jpg.ef1aba20c7be2b2f49a50611f291b0cb.jpg

(taken from https://www.loverslab.com/topic/443-the-rant-thread/?do=findComment&comment=2564271 )

 

[Psalam]

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2 minutes ago, worik said:

Granted under the wise rule of the british lordprotector Boris I.

 

I wish I would (still) be that flexible: https://static.loverslab.com/uploads/monthly_2019_03/1553004074-cropped-Tayla-Harris-kicking-horiz-Getty.jpg.ef1aba20c7be2b2f49a50611f291b0cb.jpg

(taken from https://www.loverslab.com/topic/443-the-rant-thread/?do=findComment&comment=2564271 )

 

 

GRANTED! Sadly, now you're stuck in that position.

 

I wish the White Ship disaster had never happened.

[worik]

15 hours ago, Psalam said:

I wish the White Ship disaster had never happened.

Granted ! It did never happen ? But on 26 november 1120 lightning struck the ship and instead of drownng they all burned alive.

Only Berold, a butcher from Rouen, who was likely on board to collect the debts owed to him by the travelers remains the sole survivor.

 

I wish I hadn't forgotten to get new coffee yesterday and could have surprised a special someone with a fresh coffee in bed in 10 minutes.

[Psalam]

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4 hours ago, worik said:

Granted ! It did never happen ? But on 26 november 1120 lightning struck the ship and instead of drownng they all burned alive.

Only Berold, a butcher from Rouen, who was likely on board to collect the debts owed to him by the travelers remains the sole survivor.

 

I wish I hadn't forgotten to get new coffee yesterday and could have surprised a special someone with a fresh coffee in bed in 10 minutes.

 

GRANTED! You remembered it but discovered this morning that weevils had ruined it!

 

I wish Olga were already leash trained. ?

[worik]

22 hours ago, Psalam said:

I wish Olga were already leash trained. ?

Granted! ... now she knows how to keep her humans well-behaving when they are on a leash.

 

I wish our fried salmon with fresh spinach and salad will taste as wonderful as it did in the restaurant where I "borrowed" the idea for today

[Psalam]

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34 minutes ago, worik said:

Granted! ... now she knows how to keep her humans well-behaving when they are on a leash.

 

I wish our fried salmon with fresh spinach and salad will taste as wonderful as it did in the restaurant where I "borrowed" the idea for today

 

GRANTED! Sadly it contained a toxin that precludes the consumer from actually tasting it.

 

I wish that coming up with these wishes were as easy as corrupting the wishes of others.

[NitroHamlin]

1 hour ago, Psalam said:

GRANTED! Sadly it contained a toxin that precludes the consumer from actually tasting it.

 

I wish that coming up with these wishes were as easy as corrupting the wishes of others.

Granted. But now your wishes will be even more corrupt, also after stubbing your toe on the door frame as you walk out of room after waking up, the shock from it causes the ceiling in the kitchen to fall down. Thank goodness you weren't in there.

 

I wish dreaming was like a pocket dimension, that I can leave at any time.

[worik]

16 minutes ago, NitroHamlin said:

I wish dreaming was like a pocket dimension, that I can leave at any time.

Granted. But now you don't dream anymore. All your nightmares are reality.

I wish I wouldn't view today's world so cynical.

[Psalam]

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1 hour ago, worik said:

Granted. But now you don't dream anymore. All your nightmares are reality.

I wish I wouldn't view today's world so cynical.

 

GRANTED! Now you view the world through only the most realistic of perspectives, wait! that didn't change anything did it?

 

I wish I liked Jell-o.

[NitroHamlin]

6 hours ago, Psalam said:

GRANTED! Now you view the world through only the most realistic of perspectives, wait! that didn't change anything did it?

 

I wish I liked Jell-o.

Granted. But the next time you eat Jell-o it will have very buggy scripts and collision, and when you take a bite, part of it will fly across the room and you'll be stuck in a "T-pose", you will also be locked in third-person mode for digesting glitchy Jell-o. But at least it tasted good.

 

I wish I wasn't so drawn to controversy.

[Psalam]

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12 hours ago, NitroHamlin said:

Granted. But the next time you eat Jell-o it will have very buggy scripts and collision, and when you take a bite, part of it will fly across the room and you'll be stuck in a "T-pose", you will also be locked in third-person mode for digesting glitchy Jell-o. But at least it tasted good.

 

I wish I wasn't so drawn to controversy.

 

 

GRANTED! You will steer clear of controversy, sadly, controversy will now come to you.

 

I wish I felt better.

[worik]

On 4/1/2019 at 10:53 AM, Psalam said:

I wish I felt better.

Granted you feel better now. ? .

Unfortunately Cheech & Chong yin & yang demand equilibrium and the flowers and little bees in your garden feel reeeeeeally bad ? ? and your garden looks like a barren wasteland.

That makes you feel better but sad.

 

 

I wish I could remember last nights dream and where I was.

[Psalam]

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36 minutes ago, worik said:

Granted you feel better now. ? .

Unfortunately Cheech & Chong yin & yang demand equilibrium and the flowers and little bees in your garden feel reeeeeeally bad ? ? and your garden looks like a barren wasteland.

That makes you feel better but sad.

 

 

I wish I could remember last nights dream and where I was.

 

GRANTED! sadly, now you're not sure if "you're a person who dreamed that they were a butterfly or are a butterfly now dreaming that they are a person"!

[NitroHamlin]

1 hour ago, Psalam said:

GRANTED! sadly, now you're not sure if "you're a person who dreamed that they were a butterfly or are a butterfly now dreaming that they are a person"!

But what is your wish?