Corrupt A Wish

[Dyschromie]

Granted, surf and be killed by a shark!

 

I wish to back at my own home and not to stay at my parent's

[Arcturus Fyr]

Granted, but just when you're about to enter your house it explodes and gets destroyed in a brilliant display of illegal fire works and kittens. 

 

I wish Morgan Freeman was a Dragon Priest.

[RichterQ87]

Granted, but he dies immediately.

 

I wish I had an ocean of dolphins.

[sorsharavenwing]

Granted, but they're all swimming belly up.

 

I wish this heatwave would break.

[Snazzishoez]

Granted, cold front comes through, but you freeze to death.

I wish I could disappear.

[Dubhorizon]

Granted, but it only lasts a millisecond.

I wish I could fly on command.

[iSluttana]

Granted, but you'll drop right down.

I wish I was wealthy 

[lostami]

Granted, but your now a fugitive and all your assets have been frozen.

 

I wish that cows could fly and poop on all my enemies!!

[TiredGerman]

Granted. But due to them being cows they often miss and instead mostly poop on you.

 

I wish for real life smithing skills.

[lostami]

Granted, But you burn down your parents house while lighting the forge and as a result you are legally forbidden from ever plying said skills again.

I wish i had that sexy women from iSluttana's signatures phone number.

[Arcturus Fyr]

Granted, but it turns out to be her old and currently unused number.

 

I wish for missile shooting flying donkeys that also happen to be British-accented robots. 

[Tralalala7]

Granted but it was made by Electronic Arts and requires about as much electricity to use as a nuclear power plant can put out.

 

I wish there were no internet monopolies in American, and the ISPs would stop buying one another out, and no more charging me 100+USD a month for a bandwidth of less then 2mbps, with a constant ping of over 300 to every server in the world and with a 250MB monthly limit.

[Guest]

Granted but bandwidth costs 100+£ instead with a constant ping of over 9000 to every server in the world and with a 250kb monthly limit.

 

I wish for more games, this summer has been filled with just a single game I was willing to buy. 

Good thing I have vacations.

[mojodajojo]

Granted, but all these Games are made by EA.

 

I wish I was a fish.

[ginyshemstones]

Granted, but you get fished up and end up as a can product.

 

I wish I could lurk less and have more stuff to post. (this is the internet for god sakes lol)

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

granted, but your posts are terrible

I wish the Middle East would finally have peace

[ginyshemstones]

Granted, but then the same shitstorm begins in Europe

 

I wish my posts weren't terrible

[mojodajojo]

Granted, your posts are great.

 

Unfortunately, now the rest of the fence is falling apart.

[Arcturus Fyr]

Stop! You haven't made a wish on this thread yet, make a wish or serve your sentence. All your internetz belong to me until you do.

 

I wish for Disney never attained the media ownership for Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, or Star Wars.

[sweforce]

Granted! they are taken over by Hasbro that proceeds to rewrite the entire lore and kill of massive amount of lore characters in order to streamline the product and make room for tons of crap that doesn't rally fit in. The end result are only barely recognizable. (They did this to the Forgotten Realms).

 

I with there was a actual cure for my Psoriasis.

[darkestblack77]

Granted.  But in the process of gaining such it has a horrible side affect and you start to physically grow younger as you grow older thus making things extrememly complicated! 

 

I wish my car was clean so I didn't have to wash it! 

[sorsharavenwing]

Granted! But when you try to start it, the engine won't even turn over.

 

I wish there was something in my fridge that I actually wanted to eat.

[Arcturus Fyr]

Granted, but then it disappears and re-appears as something you dislike just when you are about to take a bite.

 

I wish my processor would turbo-boost to it's advertised 3.4ghz output, rather than just staying at 2.4 almost all the time.

[Guest Omega1084]

Granted but at the first attempt at running a decent game your computer explodes because it probably shouldn't have tried that hard.

 

I wish Steam wasn't such a pile of crap.

[Arcturus Fyr]

Granted, now it's a literal pile of dead rats. 

 

I wish 'doughnut holes' were called 'doughnut nuggets' instead.