Corrupt A Wish

[AlunaTheGod]

Granted. But now your Consciousness has been transfered into a cursed doll.

 

I wish the zombie apocalypse would be upon us already.

[Content Consumer]

Granted, but all major governments already have a plan in place for this, and the zombies are wiped out and everything is back to normal within a month.

 

CoCo wishes for first-person pronouns.

[Ashal]

Granted. Conan O'Brien; now only refers to himself in the 1st person. Pretty much nothing changes and Jay Leno is still a jerk  

 

I wish Jimi Hendrix didn't die so early.

[nonusnomeni]

granted he is still alive and sing ©rap

 

i wish to know what a heck was happen to some admin to get himself down to mortals

[Guest]

Granted. You now know it but are banned because of your forbidden knowledge.

 

I wish I could steal everything I want from everyone I want without ever being caught and/or punished.

[Content Consumer]

Granted. All anyone else has is junk.

 

I wish I could just go to goddamn sleep right now, I'm so tired, please let me fall unconscious for a few hours.

[nonusnomeni]

granted please let me give you some pill

 

 

 

i wish to sing in the rain with a smile

[Content Consumer]

Granted. You are a cat, it is raining, and you are yowling for all you are worth to get back inside. And that grimace? Well, you're showing your teeth, so I guess that counts as a smile...

 

I wish for a way to make a tiny, barely-a-centimeter-long papercut stop stinging so bad. Seriously, why does it hurt like that? I didn't slash myself with a sword or anything.

[AlunaTheGod]

Granted. You now suffer from cipa, and can no longer feel pain.

 

I wish I has access to the akashic records.

[Dr. Thang]

Poof, granted! You find a band called Akashic and you have access to all their records! And they suck.

 

I wish my beard could grow longer.

[Content Consumer]

Granted. You are given a starring role in the modern gender-bending adaptation of Rapunzel.

 

I wish power failures wouldn't happen.

[Dr. Thang]

Done! You'll never experience a power failure again, cause there's no more power, forever. Enjoy churning your own butter.

 

I wish I had mind control powers!

[Content Consumer]

Granted. You can now control your own mind.

 

I wish we would get the power back on! I'm tired of churning my own butter.

[Guest]

Granted, but for there to be power you have to be bound to a 5000 m high pole waiting for lightnings to strike you.

 

I wish I could finally win a few millions in the lottery.

[Content Consumer]

Granted. You win several million dollars. In pennies. It is delivered to your house via dump truck and you are subsequently buried.

 

I wish I had a plate of bacon right about now.

[MrNoobMan]

Granted. That bacon is quite fermented btw

 

I wish I didn't live with an asshole roommate

[Content Consumer]

Granted. You now live with a dickhead roommate.

 

I wish for the ability to instantly memorize math.

[AlunaTheGod]

Granted. All your knowlage can't be implimented in real life though.

 

I wish I could trade my big brother for a little sister.

[shirow]

Granted but your big brothers mind will be into your new little sister.

 

I wish I could stop being stupid.

[Content Consumer]

Granted. You are no longer stupid. Everyone else still is, though, so you're still unhappy.

 

I wish I could afford a new lava lamp.

[AlunaTheGod]

Granted. There's one for sale, but its radioactive and cracked open.

 

I wish Guybrushthreepwood would sell me a fine leather jacket.

[Content Consumer]

Granted. It's made of pixels.

 

I wish for a hazmat suit and a glass repair kit.

[nonusnomeni]

grante and that goes with your name on conscription list 

 

i wish

 

 

[Guest]

Granted. But as soon as you see it you drop dead, punished for your gluttony.

 

i wish I could spend as long as I want in a private room isolated from time, where I can drink, eat, sleep, play games, etc. endlessley.

[Content Consumer]

Granted. The room is a 1-meter cube.

 

I wish my new lava lamp I ordered would just get here soon...