Corrupt A Wish

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Granted. Enjoy your new mango-flavored tumors.

 

I wish condoms weren't so goddamned uncomfortable

[Arcturus Fyr]

Granted, however the lubricants advertised to increase comfortableness shrink your member to half its original size and length.

 

I wish to construct additional pylons.

[Guest]

Granted, you now have the ability, you just need supplies now. 

 

I wish AWOP had voice acting. 

[Dubhorizon]

Granted, voice acted by Justin Bieber.

 

I wish for a new expensive guitar.

[Arcturus Fyr]

Granted, but the person who delivers your guitar chucks it through your closed window without any packaging.

 

I wish there to be no more creepypasta proxys.

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Granted, Slenderman just has the Rake drive him directly to every victim's house instead

 

I wish men had a birth control pill

[Arcturus Fyr]

Granted, but the pill the causes all men to become 'sterile' and the human race is now a doomed and finite species.

 

I wish Waylon Smithers was of the heterosexual orientation. 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Granted. Burns gets a sex-change and is still the object of Smithers' desires.

 

I wish sceince and medicine were more important than sports

[Arcturus Fyr]

Granted, the field of Science and Medicine in regards to experimentation and practice has improved 100 fold... In the development of 'commercial' steroids.

 

I wish life was more like a Chinese martial arts movie.

[Ashkandii]

granted but Bruce lee isent in it :[

 

I wish for a Atuomactic RPG in BF4 so i can get lots of points with unlimited ammo and lasts forever and when i die i keep it in my loadout. it has 7 rounds per reload

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Granted, but everyone else gets a hitscan death ray that you're never allowed to use

 

I wish Call of duty stopped after Modern Warfare 2

[JerseyWalrus]

Granted but that's because a series called The Call of the Battlefield is now in development

 

I wish I had a Coca-Cola right now

[redlove108]

Granted, but you must get it away from this polar bear.

 

 

Now I wish I had pepsi.

[Arcturus Fyr]

Granted, but this particular portion of Pepsi you wished for seems to have been bottled in 1961.

 

I wish for a triple rainbow that constantly regurgitates gold coins and mint flavored Oreo cookies.

[JerseyWalrus]

Granted though the gold coins are actually chocolates in gold-colored foil and the oreos are cheep knockoffs

 

I wish Daredevil didn't suck lol

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Granted, but all your other favorite movies have been redone my M. Night Shamwow

 

I wanna see a deathmatch between Tomonobu Itagaki and Hideo Kojima

[JerseyWalrus]

Granted, but neither won.

 

I wish Hangover 3 had an actual hangover scene

[RichterQ87]

Granted, but it's in a parallel universe.

 

I wish I had something to do right now.

[JerseyWalrus]

Granted, but it's running miles with a heavy coat on.

 

I wish I had a ice cold soda. Preferably Coke.

[RichterQ87]

Granted, but you have three seconds to drink it all or else you die.

 

I wish I had a pony.

[legendaryname]

Granted, but it dies tomorrow.

 

I wish for sleep.

[JerseyWalrus]

Granted, but sleep doesn't wish for you.

 

I wish the radio had good songs

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Granted, sometimes you actually get to hear them between the hour long commercial breaks

[darkestblack77]

Hm.  Considering that the previous post had no wish...

 

I wish there was a wish for me to grant but twist in some evil manipulative way. 

[Something Blue]

your wish is granted.

:3

 

i wish i could surf to the edge of internet