Lucien Flavius' eyes gogged back and forth between Monilee and Shayna as he digested what he was hearing. 

 

"Oh yes," Shayna said with an over-the-shoulder poke of her thumb, "I was sitting right over there. I was like 'oh, look at me, I'm the mighty hero, would you like to leave something special in my ass?' It got poor Monilee so worked up." 

 

As the party worked on their ale and venison dinner, the Winking Skeever hummed with life around them. If anything, the crowds in Solitude were thronging with even greater strength than before, and like a human tide they periodically spilled over the tavern's threshold with a new supply of thirsty drunks and weary travelers. 

 

"Haha, but the best part is how she punished me for being so naughty," the doppelganger purred.

 

 

"She made you wear a hood over your head? My, that must have been terribly inconvenient."

 

Lydia groaned, "That wasn't the worst part."

 

"Oh, poor uptight Lydia, dear Lucien what she means is 'that wasn't the best part,'" Shayna corrected.

 

It was hard to tell in the candle light, but it looked like Lucien was blushing just a little. "What do you mean?" he probed.

 

"Well, you see, we were a little short on money, so Monilee decided to save on coin by having me go naked for a week."

 

"Naked? For a week! Stendarr's mercy, your sister is a terrifying taskmaster, isn't she?"

 

"Well, I had been very naughty. And as you can see, afterwards had this very nice armor fitted out for me, so I really can't complain much, can I?"

 

"I'd complain," mumbled Lydia.

 

"You did," Monilee and Shayna said in unison.

 

"Alright, that's quite a story, but what about you, Edippa? I have eyes enough to see that you aren't actually these twos' mother. How did you come to join them?"

 

Edippa laughed, "Oh, silly boy, that's just a little game we play. Maybe you would like to be my son from now on?"

 

Lucien blushed deeper, "I think... I think that would be very confusing and complicated."

 

The Dibellan priestess patted him on the arm, "Don't worry, I won't take advantage of you any more than you want me to. But these two," she glanced towards Monilee, "I knew we were meant one another as soon as I saw them. I was cooling my heels in Ivarstead, bound for Riften looking for work, adventure, or both. But when they entered with Lydia here in tow, I knew for certain that we were meant to be together."

 

"So just like that, you all fell in together?" Lucien pressed.

 

"Well, at first it was just a business arrangement. They give me a fair share of the treasure and I would use my magic to heal them and ward them from the undead. I even got a nice dinner out of it that first night, just on my introduction. A fine start!"

 

 

"A fine start, indeed," the scholar agreed. "But where did this mother-daughter business come from?"

 

"Oh," she laughed, "I just told these two they were so cute and asked them to play along. Shayna especially was so enthusiastic. Before we knew it were were the most very intimate of friends."

 

"I can imagine," Lucien said with a distant look in his eyes. 

 

"Oh!" Shayna suddenly interjected, "Monilee, I have something for you. Call it my thanks for you getting me this nice armor."

 

Shayna reached into her pack and emerged with sleek, curved dagger. Monilee gasped - it was the ancestral heirloom she had lost in her flight from High Rock.

 

"Shayna! Thank you! Where, how, did you find this?"

 

The doppelganger winked, "For now, let's just say I know some people and leave it at that."

 

Monilee laughed, "Fair enough, keep your secret. Thank you again. You can't imagine how important this is."

 

Lydia eyed the dagger with appreciation but also a measure of distrust. "That's fine craftsmanship for sure, but there's something dark about that knife. Better you stick with the sword Jarl Balgruuf gifted you."

 

"Oh, yes, the Sword of Whiterun!" Lucien piped in, "What a fine artifact. How did you come to be its custodian?"

 

"That's a bit of a long story," she conceded, "but it all started with a dream..."

 

Monilee recounted her story of how a vision had taken her to the little town of Riverwood, and how a mysterious piece of treasure had then led her to the doomed town of Helgen - only to rush nearly into the jaws of a mighty black dragon. From there, her fate took her to the Jarl's palace in Whiterun, to the dark depths of Bleak Falls Barrow, and at last to the western watchtower where she'd stood against a mighty dragon and won. The sword, and the title Thane, had been her reward for that feat of arms. 

 

"Oh, I haven't heard this one - tell me about this barrow," Edippa piped in.

 

Monilee groaned, "Ugh, it was awful. I still hadn't regained my strength from everything that happened on the border of High Rock and it was just waves and waves of Draugr, never stopping. We fought our way through them, but it wasn't easy. I have to admit, I was ready to give up if it hadn't been for the sign from Dibella."

 

Edippa perked up at that, "A sign?"

 

"Yes, deep in the barrow, a statue of Dibella. It pointed the way deep in, and with hard work and cunning we prevailed. 

 

 

Edippa sighed, "Oh, I wish I'd been there to see it."

 

"It hasn't been the last such statue we've seen since - so if you stick with us, I suspect you'll yet see more of them," said Monilee. 

 

"Hah, yes, daughter, that would be wonderful," Edippa rejoined.

 

Shayna added in, "And more of those walls too, I'd wager." 

 

"Walls, you say?" Edippa asked.

 

"Ohhhh, yes," Monilee said, "the wall. It covered a whole cavern wall, carved deep with ancient words of power. You have to see one to really understand, but it's a thoroughly... penetrating experience to take in." 

 

 

"But anyway, that all came before the fight with the dragon. After that, after I tasted its soul and shouted for the first time, everything started to change."

 

Lydia nodded, "That's how I came in Monilee's service. As Thane, Jarl Balgruuf sent me with her to serve her as Housecarl... and to make sure she didn't stray from the call of the Graybeards."

 

Monilee grimmaced, "And indeed I didn't stray, did I?"

 

Lydia shrugged, "Oh, I must have missed it when you recovered the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller."

 

Shayna laughed, while Monilee bought herself some time with a swig of ale. "I haven't given up on that, Lydia. But we have to get free from Nocturnal first. I think sealing the power of Valthume helped - my wrists haven't been locking as tight ever since - but I'm not free yet. So first the Rueful Axe, then the Horn later."

 

"Damn right," added Barbas. If anyone else noticed that the group's shaggy dog was talking, they didn't give any indication. Perhaps Barbas could choose who understood his barks.

 

"But anyway, Lucien, that's what we've all been up to before we met you in Falkreath."

 

The Cyrodiilic scholar slowly shook his head. "Oh, to have seen the things you've seen already." That remark caused Shayna and Edippa to exchange a look and a giggle, which in turn caused Lydia to let out an exasperated sigh.

 

"Arkay's Ghost, is lust the only thing on your people's minds? I meant the tombs, the ancient ruins, the riches and jewels and statues and old books, all the really important things!"

 

Lucien's explosion left the rest of the party crippled in mirth. And that was just what they needed. Release from the troubles that weighed on them, from the jealous eyes of Daedra and Divines, and from the worries of the difficult quest that destiny was driving them forward on. 

 

For this night, at least, the party could relax and enjoy a warm fire, a hot meal, good ale, and happy companionship. 

 

 

Test Report

Rapidly rebuilt the party and assigned gear thanks to a "loan" of gold from the console (tempering doesn't carry over with Project Proteus)

Successfully ran the main quest through the start of SLaVE, successfully testing word wall love, exhaustion, and various Toys related gear effects.

Observed that SLaVE successfully intercepted and prevented an autosave during a word wall love event.

Ready to proceed with the story in the next session!

 

To tide you over till next time, here's some smutty pictures of Monilee in action