As Piper tells it, I kept my cool as I left the greenhouse, but as I stalked towards the boundaries of Graygarden I got tenser and tenser in the shoulders, until I was practically hunched over. Around the time I crossed the rail tracks, I'd stared muttering to myself, and once the farm fell out of view being the rise of a hill, I stopped, balled my fists, and screamed at the top of my lungs.

 

 

"I AM NOT VALERY GRAY!" and variations on that theme formed the core of an extended tantrum before I shook myself off and headed in the direction of the water treatment plant.

 

"Blue, do you need a minute?" Piper asked, and I just shook my head, pushing myself onward. I think if I hadn't, I might have collapsed.

 

I was just boiling with anger at even the concept of what White had implied. I knew I'd come out of the vault changed. Physically and mentally. My hair had changed color, my skin felt different, and I had ideas and preferences that would have been foreign to me before the war. But I convinced myself that these were emergent ideas that might be rooted in my trauma, but that were still original to me. 

 

But White made me feel like these thoughts might be the result of deliberate conditioning, and that deeply troubled me. I'd acted with so much commitment on those drives, built a whole nascent society on them, and now I was confronted with the idea that I might be doing Overseer Gray's dirty work, carrying forward her legacy beyond the grave. It made me sick.

 

I continued muttering to myself, periodically swearing, kicking at rubble, and generally being petulant on the couple hours' walk to Weston. When we got there, the cause of the problems with the water supply was obvious.

 

"Of course it had to be fucking super mutants," I spat.

 

 

"Uh oh," Piper said. "Why is it that whenever we run into super mutants, your power suit is back at home?"

 

"It doesn't matter," I said. "Give me a gun."

 

"Blue, you can't take them all on by yourself?"

 

"Gun!"

 

Reluctantly, Piper handed me my M1911. She'd been carrying it in her pack since I didn't really have anywhere to store it. In a brief flash of lucidity, I made a mental note to have a holster belt made like what Jake had, in case I found myself in this situation again.

 

"Are you sure you don't want to get the power suit? Or some armor? The robots can wait. Hell, I'm not even sure why you're helping them if they got you so mad."

 

"Piper, my dear, my love," I said, "right now, I really, really need to kill something. So I'm going to go over there and kill some super mutants and I would really appreciate your help. Can I count on you?"

 

"If I said no, would it stop you?"

 

I racked the slide on the pistol and shook my head slightly, "I really need this."

 

"Alright..." Piper conceded, unslinging her rifle. "Let's kill some super mutants then."

 

It turned out, this was a terrible idea. Almost immediately the fight descended into a chaotic melee clusterfuck, and my pistol just didn't have the stopping power to keep the huge mutants held back.

 

 

Early on we got separated, but I managed to close up the distance with Piper and give her some cover. After she dropped the nearest mutant, Piper yelled to me, "catch!" Then she tossed her rifle to me. 

 

That was the extra punch I needed, and after gunning down a charging mutant hound, I took aim and picked off a mutant who had been getting ready to fire a fucking rocket launcher at us. His head splattered apart in a mess of gore and the rocket careened away into the sky before looping back land somewhere in the woods with a dull explosion.

 

 

Then, as if the one with the rocket launcher wasn't enough, I saw another super mutant charging straight towards me, with what looked like an artillery shell tucked under its arm. He was carrying the damn thing like a football, and I had a pretty clear idea of what was going to happen if he got close. So I fell to one knee and started shooting - not at him, but at his payload.

 

 

I'd like to say I made the bomb detonate in a huge dramatic explosion, but 'all' I managed to do was to blow off his arm at the elbow, sending his explosive package plopping into the water. And then the crazy mutant just kept on charging. I put three more rounds into his chest and he toppled over, thrashing and screaming. 

 

"Follow me," I shouted to Piper as I pushed in past the chain link perimeter fence, mowing down another mutant who'd been hiding in a doorway. At that point, the only one left was their boss, a tough looking super covered in makeshift metal armor. Even Piper's heavy rifle was deflecting off the armor, and I had to pick my shots carefully. Luckily, right when I needed it, Dogmeat jumped up and grabbed the mutant's arm in his mouth, pinning him in place and distracting it. I drew a careful bead and put two shots into the side of his head.

 

I took a second then to catch my breath and check my magazine - the last one of Piper's supply. Only three rounds left.

 

"Uh, Piper," I said. "I've got good news and bad news." 

 

"Do I want to know?" she challenged.

 

"The good news is all the mutants are dead. The bad news... I'm out of ammo."

 

"Fuck," she muttered. "And there's sure to be more inside. Let's look around and see what we can find, maybe one of the guns the mutants were using?"

 

The water in the flooded yard of the treatment center was deep, making it hard to find where our enemies had dropped their weapons, but we did a careful search of the area, gathering up anything useful we could find.

 

 

We were really striking out on our search until my foot bumped against something heavy and... I found it. I raised up the rocket launcher to show to Piper. 

 

"What do you think?" I asked.

 

 

"Oh, Jesus Blue, haven't you had enough action for one day?" she asked, looking concerned.

 

"I'm just getting started," I growled back.

 

"OK, then, two questions. One, how many missiles do you have?"

 

"I'm working on that."

 

"Two, how are you going to use that inside the water treatment plant?" 

 

"Still working on that too," I admitted.

 

"Then put that thing down for now and find something else. Jeez."

 

We didn't have a lot of luck on that score, mostly finding cheap handmade weapons that barely counted as guns. As we progressed towards the plant, however, we found plenty of evidence of what happened to these super mutants' prisoners. The eviscerated corpses hung up around the facility seemed mostly fresh, and I wondered where they'd captured so many people. Another ill-fated settlement, probably. 

 

 

Then, just as I was about to give up on trying to find a suitably powerful weapon, I heard a whimper down towards the plant entrance. Padding through the water, I found one of their prisoners - still alive.

 

"Please," she said, "I'm still alive. You've gotta help me!"

 

"Don't worry, I'll get you down. Just hold tight."

 

 

Piper and I cut the woman's bonds and let her down off the cross. She looked me up and down, asking, "did they catch you too?"

 

Piper chuckled at that. "No, she's just doing a little skinny dipping."

 

"What? I don't... never mind, I just want to get out of here!"

 

"Hold up," I said. "What's your name? What happened here?"

 

"I'm Samara," she said. "We're from Fiddler's Green... the supers... they surrounded the settlement and caught... I think they caught everyone. They've been butchering us for days."

 

"Well, they won't be doing any butchering now. They're all dead. But do you have a place to go back to?"

 

"I... I, no. I can't go back to Fiddler's Green. I guess... I can go to Diamond City?"

 

"Tell you what," I said, "You know the Drumlin Diner?"

 

She nodded. "Go there, tell Trudy that Charley sent you. She'll get you some warm food and find you a place to sleep. You can join my settlement - you'll be safe there."

 

"Wait..." she said, scrutinizing me closer. "You're Charley? From Concord?"

 

I nodded. "The one and only."

 

"Shit, I've heard about you. Can I really go to your settlement?"

 

"As long as you're willing to work, we'll find a place for you."

 

She stepped forward and pulled me into a tight hug. "Thank you," she whispered. "I'll tell everyone what you did here."

 

 

I patted the small of her back, trying to reassure her, then said. "OK, I don't know how much daylight we have left. You better get out of here."

 

"I will," she agreed. "I'll leave now. Thank you again, Charley. Thank you!"

 

The rest of our search was mostly a bust. We found some ammunition and some hand grenades, but no weapons powerful enough to replace Piper's rifle. As the sky started to darken, Piper approached me.

 

"Looks like we struck out. Do we head back, see if we can get a reload at Graygarden or points north?"

 

I was starting at a large cooking pot, obviously recently abandoned, where a headless woman's body was simmering. 

 

"No," I said, "we need to wipe out all of them. We'll have to take the stealth approach for the rest, but we can't leave them here to raid another settlement. We're going in."

 

"Ugh, I knew you were going to say that," Piper groaned.

 

 

The inside of the plant was a mess, full of signs of the super mutants' violent takeover. Big chunks of concrete had been gouged out of the wall by bullet impacts, and trash and rubble were strewn all around. We crept through the facility carefully, mindful that an ambush could be around any corner.

 

Eventually, I found an employee locker room, many of the shelves still stocked with supplies; supplies too recent and fresh to be left over from the war. I quickly came to the conclusion that this plant too had been a settlement once, before the super mutants too kit over. 

 

In the locker room, one thing stood out to me - a green duffel bag laid down against the back wall. I carefully unzipped it and looked inside... to be greeted with a hefty looking combat shotgun and a box of shells.

 

"Now that's what I had in mind," I muttered, drawing out the weapon.

 

 

I gave the gun a cursory check for damage or fouling, then loaded it up. With that done, I reached back into the bag to extract the box of ammunition. I figured Piper could put it in her bag so I could reload later. In doing so, my hand brushed some rolled up paper, and I reached in further to investigate. 

 

The magazine, unnecessarily subtitled "hard-core pornography" left very little to the imagination about its contents. I waved it to Piper, "look at that, another lover of fine literature."

 

 

The reporter laughed, then plucked it out of my hand and rifled the pages. "Oh," she said, "that's... creative." Piper stuffed the magazine into her bag, and when I raised an eyebrow she explained. "We don't have time to look at this now. Let's flip through it together after we get out of here."

 

I let a little smile creep into one side of my mouth. "I like that idea," I admitted.

 

Piper pointed at me and giggled, "you smiled! Finally you smiled! I was starting to get worried."

 

The reminder about my unhappiness killed the mood for me immediately, but I shook my head to try and clear away the funk. "I think Supervisor White gave me indigestion. I'm... still trying to process what we talked about."

 

"I think you need to give me a better explanation of why it bothered you so much," Piper confessed, "but not now. We need to keep moving before one of those mutants blunders onto us."

 

Somewhat to my surprise, the hazard to us as we descended into the plant didn't come from super mutants, but instead from automated defenses. I started to suspect that after the mutants had wiped out the earlier, human settlers, they'd just lived out in the yard. I know though that this was wishful thinking, so I kept up my guard. We pushed deeper and deeper, looking for any sort of control room or maintenance access that might help us restore the water quality.

 

Eventually the problem became clear - the treatment tanks were backed up and flooded. In fact, it looked like the water level was inches away from flooding the control room. 

 

 

The emergency flood control switch got the tank draining again, but as the water receded I discovered the real cause of the problems. Not super mutants, but mirelurks. The falling water level revealed the the thick-shelled crustaceans all over the treatment chamber... and further down, I saw what looked like large clutches of eggs suspiciously close to the outlet pipes. 

 

Piper looked at me and grimaced. "Please don't tell me we have to clear out all those Mirelurks." 

 

I shrugged, "OK, I won't tell you that."

 

"Fuck," she muttered. "Here we go again."

 

 

The mirelurks were tough. I'd learn later that these were the 'weaker' softshell variety, but even then I had to take my shots carefully to shoot their vital spots. Nevertheless, between me, Piper, and dogmeat we slowly cleared the treatment room, pushing further down towards the bottom of the tank. We had to activate a number of flood control stations, each of which further drained out the tank, and it was slow going for a while. Still, we eventually got to the bottom, and after spending a couple hours clearing away mucus-covered weeds, barnacles, and egg sacs away from the outflow pipes, we threw the switch on the main pump and listened as it roared to life.

 

After waiting to make sure the pump was working smoothly, we passed through an office complex and were able to locate an elevator back to the surface. Piper prudently suggested we wait a little while, before leaving the plant, and so we relaxed in the office until just after sunrise.

 

"That was... interesting," I said.

 

Piper smiled back to me, "I'm glad the old you is starting to come back. That must have been a hell of a shock, talking with White."

 

I nodded. "It was. I still feel it, to be honest, but I think I'm going to be OK."

 

"Just needed the violence to clear out your system?"

 

"No, actually. It was that woman, Samara. She knew my name."

 

Piper rolled her eyes, "a lot of people do, now, no small thanks to you're truly."

 

"Yeah, but I bet she never heard the name Valery Gray. That bitch might have put her ideas in my head, but they're my property now. And I'm going to do good things with them, make the world better, while everyone forgets about her."

 

"Like you took over the vault, and used it to make Concord a better place, huh?"

 

"Something like that."

 

A light drizzle started up as we left the plant, and it felt good washing away the blood, dirt, and slime that had got spattered all over me in the course of the last day. 

 

 

On our return to Graygarden, White greeted me a little cooly. "Darling," she said, "you fixed our water problem, didn't you?"

 

"That's right," I said.

 

"And you seem so much chipper too. I wondered if maybe all you needed was a little exercise. That always worked for Alexia and Anna, you know. If our Edward saw they were down, he'd tell them to take a lap around the farm to work off the blues."

 

"That was part of it, certainly. If you're wondering, the problem was mirelurks. They were using the main treatment tank as a nursery."

 

"Oh, well, that's would explain the problems with water quality then. I for one say, if it isn't kosher on a plate, then it isn't kosher in a bowl either."

 

"What about you," I asked. "Did Vault 81 vouch for us?"

 

 

"Oh you dear thing," she said, "I don't think they like you very much."

 

"So I've noticed. But they did confirm we were from Vault 111, correct?"

 

"They very reluctantly agreed with that statement. Though Overseer MacNamara shed some most enlightening detail on your relationship with Overseer Gray."

 

I sighed, muttering, "fucking MacNamara," under my breath before plowing on. "I hope that won't be a problem with us working together."

 

"Darling, this farm has very few living connections to the old world. The vaults are one of them, and I'm prepared to overlook a great many things to be less... lonely. But I might ask the same. Are you comfortable working with us, knowing the esteem we hold the Grays in?"

 

 

"Would you take offense if I was direct in my answer?" I asked, trying to parse my words carefully.

 

"Hardly, dear. You couldn't imagine all the mean words and lies people tell us when they're hungry. An honest word would be... refreshing."

 

"I'm glad you feel that way," I said. "Supervisor White, Valery Gray deceived me and then spent a long time... hurting me. I can't forget that. And while she didn't cause his death herself, she set into motion a sequence of events that led to my husband being murdered and my baby boy being kidnapped. I harbor an intense and visceral hatred for Valery Gray."

 

"And yet," White said, "it seems you are her successor, not just politically but also spiritually. That must be a terrible cognitive dissonance to try to resolve."

 

"I struggle with it every day, and since we talked, that fight has been more difficult."

 

White seemed disappointed, "then in a way, I am responsible for your greater pain. But if you don't intend to work with us after all, why the dissembling? Why even come back?"

 

"I think you misunderstand me, White. I don't hold you responsible for anything Valery Gray did. I struggle to understand how you can see her in such a positive light, but as a leader I have to put aside some of my personal baggage to build up the community. If you can accept that I don't share your esteem for Valery Gray, then I'm willing to work with you. I just ask that... you not pick at that wound too often. At least not for now."

 

White seemed to ponder on that for a few seconds, then she answered. "I think that is an acceptable compromise. However darling, first there is something I need you to see, so that you can understand our Edward and understand us. And it may, as you say... pick at the wound."

 

"Alright," I acquiesced, "show me."

 

White led me to a little office nook located at the back of the greenhouse. An L-shaped desk took up much of the room, cluttered with computer terminals and papers.

 

"This was our Edward's imagination space, he called it. Once we started building the farm, and remember that process took almost four years, he did all his work here, made all his inventions, even taught us Supervisors to be who we are today. And at the center of it all, darling?" White pointed with a mechanical pincer.

 

"There is he lovely wife Valery, captured in her moment of triumph."

 

 

The desk photo showed Valery Gray standing next to a naked woman. A nurse, flanked the woman's other side, though her face had been cropped out of the photo. Gray was smiling, steering the woman by the shoulder, and I realized they must be looking at a mirror. An 'O' of surprise and maybe amazement was obvious on the woman's face. And then, thinking back to what White had told me before, I realized that this wasn't a woman. A slightly rosy, gently curved penis rose up between her legs. This, I realized, was a man who had benefitted from Doctor Gray's non-surgical sex confirmation procedure.

 

"Where is this picture from?" I asked.

 

"Our Edward clipped it off the cover of the Massachusetts Surgical Journal. He was never one for family photographs, but he told me that he never wanted to forget the mark that she'd made on the world. His daughters teased him about it, you know. They said he should have cropped her patient out, that the details distracted from their mother. But our Edward refused. He said that Nick's reaction was integral to the scene. He said that his wife never would have smiled like that if she wasn't right in the middle of showing someone something... wonderful."

 

 

"Darling, this is the only side of Valery Gray that I have ever known. A brilliant woman completely driven by a desire to help people, burning with a passion to learn, ready to break down any convention or tradition in the name of progress. If we'd avoided the war, she is the woman who could have cured the New Plague. She might be remembered as the woman who saved America."

 

I stared at the photo, unable to muster words. Of the times I'd seen Valery Gray in the vault, she never smiled. Never seemed happy. Always, her lips were drawn in a cold, straight line, and it was her eyes who did all the talking. They were the eyes of cat watching a mouse, seeing a living thing as nothing more than a toy. The eyes of a predator.

 

"I know she hurt you, dear. But please just don't forget that she helped people too."

 

"Thank you for showing me this, Supervisor White," I said, slowly, "I feel like the woman you're describing is a completely different one from the Valery Gray that I knew. I think you've given me a lot to think on."

 

We left the office then and discussed the terms of our relationship. Graygarden would work with Vault 111 to provide food and facilitate trade with the wider Commonwealth. The farm would remain fully robotic - no human workers, but they would allow Preston Garvey to station members of the Minutemen here for protection. Finally, and very much to my surprise, White invited me to return when I was ready and review Edward Gray's files. White explained that a restraining condition in her programming prevents her from touching anything in the office, but she believed some of her beloved creator's plans and inventions might reside on the desktop terminal or in his paper files. If I could find something of use and turn it towards bettering the Commonwealth, White explained, it would make her very happy.

 

After insisting we take in a meal of fresh fruits and vegetables, Piper and I left Graygarden heading south along the rail tracks until we reached the bridge that would take us to Cumnock Woods and, from there, to Diamond City.

 

 

When we reached the little hamlet at Oberland Station, I turned to Piper. "Alright," I said, "I think it's time we get into mufti. Want to toss me my dress?"

 

She obliged me and I slipped into the soft, pliable garment. Piper likewise pulled on her jacket and tie, and so arrayed we resumed our walk towards Boston. Soon the skeletal skyscrapers of the city were on full display ahead of us, and Piper whistled appreciatively.

 

"I know I've only been away for a week, but it feels good to be home."

 

"I'm happy to be back too. I really hope Dogmeat can help us find where Kellogg went to after he left DC. That man has some answering to do."

 

"Don't forget to talk to Nat first," Piper added. "I think we need to start making plans to close up shop in Diamond City and either move the printing press to Concord or fabricate a new one."

 

"Thanks for the reminder," I said, smiling. "It wouldn't do to have me haring off after Kellogg and leave Nat high and dry."

 

 

Piper sped up her pace a little to catch up with me, Dogmeat right on her heels, and she slipped her hand into mine as we enjoyed the last part of the road before we had to start watching out for raiders and super mutants. It was a nice walk, and it helped quiet - for the moment - the roiling thoughts about my Graygarden experience that were proving hard to put to rest.