What are you doing right now in Skyrim (Screenshot required)

[DocClox]

7 minutes ago, Alessia Wellington said:

You're just jealous 'cause no one flirts with you.

 

How many times do I need to tell you? When they try to shove a stake into your chest, they are not flirting!

 

You are badly misreading these signals.

[Alessia Wellington]

1 minute ago, DocClox said:

When they try to shove a stake into your chest, they are not flirting!

 

Of course it's flirty!

 

When you're a masochist. 

[DocClox]

Well, I am happy to admit that no-one flirts with me in that manner. Well, very few. And they tend to die shortly afterwards

 

Anyway! Who needs flirtation? I have a sure fire pickup technique!

[Gukahn]

7 minutes ago, DocClox said:

Anyway! Who needs flirtation? I have a sure fire pickup technique!

First you put the vampire into the Sun

Spoiler

Make sure she understands her Place by letting her kneel. Do NOT speak with her like she is People! She is Property! A Thingy. a Pet if you like. NOT People. So do NOT speak to it like it is.

Then you Flock her =D

Spoiler

If she likes it, good for her. But that's Optional.

 

Afterwards, make sure she understood her Role in Life, you can start to tech her Tricks if you like.

 

Spoiler

 

And be sure to remember, if she doesn't do what you want, you can always use her as Target practice ?

[Alessia Wellington]

9 minutes ago, Gukahn said:

Spoiler

 

Someone as derpy looking as her isn't a true blooded vampire anyways. Let her burn.

[Gukahn]

2 minutes ago, Alessia Wellington said:

Someone as derpy looking as her isn't a true blooded vampire anyways. Let her burn.

>_> thanks I guess

[DocClox]

13 minutes ago, Gukahn said:

First you put the vampire into the Sun

 

I was thinking more along the lines of:

1. Knock them out
2. Put them in a sack
3. Pick up the sack
4. Find somewhere with fewer witnesses so we can consummate our passions.

 

But your way is good, too

 

 

[Speed Metal]

1 hour ago, Gukahn said:

First you put the vampire into the Sun

30 minutes ago, DocClox said:

I was thinking more along the lines of

Or fist them right where they are.

Spoiler

[DocClox]

14 hours ago, Speed Metal said:

Or fist them right where they are.

 

Fisting the night away, huh?

 

I decided it was about time I did something about this dragon business, so off to Kynesgrove to have a word with Salokinir. Outside of wolf form, this build isn't exactly a combat monster, so I brought along a couple of the wenches I tamed in Ustengrav, just to help with the heavy lifting.

 

They are still a little insubordinate, but they performed adequately in this instance.

 

[MrEsturk]

A rather powerful Blood Dragon invaded Solitude last night. The battle was quite intense, by the end the dragon had wiped out an entire platoon of Legionnaires from the Solitude training grounds. General Tulius is not going to be happy:

 

My girl got stuck on prostitution duties again. Jarl Elisif herself solicited her services. Then the stuck up bitch refused to pay her. Maybe its time to give Windhelm a visit...

[DocClox]

In Solitude with a couple of new slaves who could benefit from some humiliation training. So I stood them in front of the Jarl, made them strip naked and told them to bring themselves off.

 

 

Elisif doesn't seem especially appreciative of the show. No idea why - Sidgeir loved it!

 

 

Here she is asking Falk if there's some way to have these people removed from her audience chamber. (While giving me a hard stare into the bargain!). Falk wasn't especially helpful to her cause in this instance. I think he appreciates a free show as much as the next man.

 

 

After they went, I sat myself down in her chair, just to make sure the view was unimpeded.

 

 

There's a long running argument that basically says: The Last Dragonborn can sit on the Throne of Shor in Sovngarde. Therefore he is really Shor, and therefore he is a Shezarrine, which means he is really Lorkhan which means he is the the most powerful of all the gods, and just slumming it by pretending to be a mortal.

 

So bu the same argument, I can sit on the Throne of Solitude: does that then make me Elisif?  Because I have to say, I don't think the beard suits her at all!

 

Edited December 29, 2022 by DocClox

[Alessia Wellington]

14 minutes ago, DocClox said:

I can sit on the Throne of Solitude: does that then make me Elisif?  Because I have say

 

Anyone has more say than Elisif. She's more boobs than brain.

[DocClox]

2 minutes ago, Alessia Wellington said:

 

Anyone has more say than Elisif. She's more boobs than brain.

 

I think that makes you winner of tonight's Missing Words Round. I did in fact mean to write "I have to say". Original message has been edited.

[Guest]

Oops, thought it said who are you doing in Skyrim.   (Serana and Lydia replacer by Coldsun, Nexus)

NSFW

Edited December 29, 2022 by caveman74

[Harvald56]

Faking around with Skyrim with a @T.ara mesh. What do you think ? A shot or a fake. 

 

 

Can,'t load ZAP9 to CS, always freezing while initialising

Edited December 30, 2022 by Harvald56

[Ronin79]

On 12/28/2022 at 9:25 AM, Alessia Wellington said:

Someone as derpy looking as her isn't a true blooded vampire anyways. Let her burn.

 

A true pureblood vampire would never let herself become a victim.

 

Spoiler

 

[DocClox]

17 hours ago, caveman74 said:

Oops, thought it said who are you doing in Skyrim.  

 

On this board, it's usually the same thing.

 

Spoiler

Me, I'm busy breaking a an angry bandit mage from Halted Stream Camp. Although I think she's enjoying being rebuked more than she wants to admit.

 

 

Once I get done with her, I need to have a word with that blonde tart in the background. Who told her it was OK to stop touching herself?

 

Here's a view of the camp as a whole. I normally like to line my girls up a bit neater than this, but sod it. I guess I'm having a lazy day. (I know, I know: "real pureblood vampires never have lazy days!")

 

 

I really just wanted the Transmute spell, but I'm taking the chance to get my Vampire Lord form up to speed. Then I'm going to visit the Winking Skeever and give Malborn nothing but a handful of leashing collars. Always a fun time at Elenwen's parties!

 

Edited December 30, 2022 by DocClox

[MrEsturk]

Due to one of the mods I'm using drunken bar room brawls among the NPCs happen on occasion. This specific one in Solitude however really got out of hand. Both the brawlers decided their fists weren't enough and grabbed some of the hatchets on display in place:

Somehow in spite of hacking the crap out each other neither ended up dying.

[Alessia Wellington]

12 minutes ago, MrEsturk said:

Somehow in spite of hacking the crap out each other neither ended up dying.

 

Shows how dull those blades are.

[DocClox]

Halted Stream Camp, a day or so later. Everyone has submitted to the point where I can trust them not to run off or try and attack me. They've all been made to masturbate to at least one orgasm. Every one has been impregnated. I lined them up for inspection, and then left them standing there overnight while I caught forty winks in the mine,  using the bandit leader's comfy bed.

 

I also managed to construct the extra collars I mentioned, transmuted some iron to gold, and used the resulting gold ingot to build an Arcane Enchanter, which was the initial point of the exercise.

 

Spoiler

 

I'm going to going to do one last inspection, praising or scolding each in turn as needed, and then I'll find them all a home in the cellar at Lakeside.

 

And after that, I really will have no excuse not to go and crash Elenwen's little soirée...

 

[edit]

 

And here's the haul from the Embassy.

 

Spoiler

 

I took ten collars and only got one slave on the first pass - all bar one of the guards were male ffs.

 

So I took myself off round the front of the Embassy, picked the lock on the gate, and nabbed the two door guards. Then for good measure, I broke into the barracks, took the women and killed the males.

 

It was really weird.  Here I am in full vampire lord mode, breaking into a secure area, and everyone's all "welcome to the Thalmor Embassy, sir".

 

Edited December 30, 2022 by DocClox

[Gukahn]

Ladys and Gentleman, I've tested bits and pieces and...

Oh.My.. God Oo

 

Spoiler

 

WHY IS HE SO SEXY?!

Holy mother of Rip Offs!

 

 

THE ACTUAL FUCK?! And is that Elmo int he background? Oo

 

[Alessia Wellington]

7 minutes ago, Gukahn said:

And is that Elmo int he background?

 

Sounds like a fun mod. Some random bandit, threating you in Elmo's voice.

[Gukahn]

19 minutes ago, Alessia Wellington said:

 

Sounds like a fun mod. Some random bandit, threating you in Elmo's voice.

True ?

 

to be honest, it's a crime against nature that Chad looks so good

[Alessia Wellington]

7 minutes ago, Gukahn said:

it's a crime against nature that Chad looks so good

 

Chad himself is a crime.

[Gukahn]

Just now, Alessia Wellington said:

 

Chad himself is a crime.

Spoiler