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Ernest Lemmingway

By Ernest Lemmingway,
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Ernest Lemmingway

Ernest Lemmingway

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7 minutes ago, Grey Cloud said:

Ernest the Blue? Not exactly a name to strike terror into the hearts of one's enemies is it?

No, but we lemmings don't attack openly. We prefer to sneak in and eat the enemies' food, pee in their beer, and then hide in their shoes to bite their toes off.

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worik

worik

Posted
Posted
8 minutes ago, Grey Cloud said:

Ernest the Blue? Not exactly a name to strike terror into the hearts of one's enemies is it?

? I'd say it's those cute big eyes...  he'd lure them into his blade.

Though I have another question now: how does the blue fur cope with bloodstains and remains of other nasty body fluids, sputtering from sliced abdomens?

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Ernest Lemmingway

Ernest Lemmingway

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9 minutes ago, worik said:

? I'd say it's those cute big eyes...  he'd lure them into his blade.

Though I have another question now: how does the blue fur cope with bloodstains and remains of other nasty body fluids, sputtering from sliced abdomens?

Thank you. Never, ever trust the cute. Cute can be a killer! :classic_biggrin:

 

And quite well, actually. Fur, unlike hair, sheds readily so stains that don't come out with bathing will be lost naturally and replaced pretty quickly. Plus we lemmings bathe regularly. All the fat and fur means we don't get too cold jumping into icy water. Of course, we still enjoy warm baths and since we burrow we know plenty of places to find subterranean hot springs.

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  • 3 weeks later...
Ernest Lemmingway

Ernest Lemmingway

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2 hours ago, Resdayn said:

Ever thought being smarter than normal is curse?

There's an old saying. "You can be happy or you can be smart. But you can't be both."

 

Look at my idiot cousins and all the fun they have doing really stupid things! Sadly I can never enjoy life as much as them. Because I had the bad luck of being the smart one in the family.

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Resdayn

Resdayn

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7 minutes ago, Ernest Lemmingway said:

There's an old saying. "You can be happy or you can be smart. But you can't be both."

 

Look at my idiot cousins and all the fun they have doing really stupid things! Sadly I can never enjoy life as much as them. Because I had the bad luck of being the smart one in the family.

You hitted me to close to home.

 

Recently I became a bit suspicious i may have Aspergers too, but my interest is bit wider than the ones I know, they are very focused.

 

So I'm not truly convinced.

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Resdayn

Resdayn

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Posted
3 minutes ago, Grey Cloud said:

But surely if one were smart enough, one could figure out a way to be happy. And where would 'contentment' fit into the picture? Do I get an extra point for beginning a sentence with 'but' and one with 'and'?

I don't think its that easy, smart people tend to overcomplicate simple things.

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Grey Cloud

Grey Cloud

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5 minutes ago, Resdayn said:

I don't think its that easy, smart people tend to overcomplicate simple things.

Impractical people tend to overcomplicate. Smart people do what gets the thing done with the least effort. I know I do and I'm smarter than the smartest thing on Smart Street in Smarttown.

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Ernest Lemmingway

Ernest Lemmingway

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6 hours ago, The First Lady of Hats said:

Lemming!

If a blue haired lemming and a pinkhaired lemming love each other very very much.

What colour will the children be?

...

This pleases me Lemming. Come you to the Frozen North, let us carve a path to Fólkvangr!

Sort of a violet color, I assume. And thank you for not doing that.

 

Yes! Someone hand me my ax and my bearskin shirt! Fear the bearsark lemming! I may be small, but even the biggest of foes fall before me when I chop off their ankles!

5 hours ago, BAB PEEG said:

Do lemmings get aids?

Not as long as we practice safe sex. It's amazing what you can buy on the Internet. They make condoms small enough for lemmings! Granted the store caters to men who are overcompensating with fancy sports cars, six-figure paychecks, and trophy wives, so they're extremely expensive...

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Psalam

Psalam

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Spoiler
10 hours ago, Ernest Lemmingway said:

Sort of a violet color, I assume. And thank you for not doing that.

 

Yes! Someone hand me my ax and my bearskin shirt! Fear the bearsark lemming! I may be small, but even the biggest of foes fall before me when I chop off their ankles!

Not as long as we practice safe sex. It's amazing what you can buy on the Internet. They make condoms small enough for lemmings! Granted the store caters to men who are overcompensating with fancy sports cars, six-figure paychecks, and trophy wives, so they're extremely expensive...

 

Are you sure? Don't they have to have sex first? ?

If you're right about the color I'm disappointed. I was hoping for stripes. Or maybe polka dots like a tortoise-shell cat. ?

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Psalam

Psalam

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Posted
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49 minutes ago, worik said:

Circular and spiralling shapes, like my grandparents wallpapers and curtains in the early 70' ? :wacko:

 

Why nor? I came to adulthood in the 70's. Nothing wrong with that (although I did find avocado colored kitchen appliances a bit much).

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worik

worik

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22 minutes ago, Psalam said:

I did find avocado colored kitchen appliances

I can remember an early-life non-kitchen "appliance" in avocado color ?

Spoiler

Something like a "throne" and a matching plate and spoon. I guess it was considered a concluding set by my parents.

 

By the way: Mr. Lemming, do little Lemmings get diapers from their parents or is there some other form of "taking care of things". If yes, won't that be a problem with the fur? Can they still be sufficiently "tight" ?

Spoiler

Lack of product quality or insufficient skill of the adult can lead to really unpleasent experiences for everybody involved. ... at least that's my observation with the little humans :classic_wacko:

 

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Psalam

Psalam

Posted
Posted
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Just now, worik said:

I can remember an early-life non-kitchen "appliance" in avocado color ?

  Reveal hidden contents

Something like a "throne"

 

By the way: Mr. Lemming, do little Lemmings get diapers from their parents or is there some other form of "taking care of things". If yes, won't that be a problem with the fur? Can they still be sufficiently "tight" ?

 

Eeeeeeeeeeew!

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