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Ernest Lemmingway

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Posted
6 hours ago, Psalam said:
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Are you sure? Don't they have to have sex first? ?

If you're right about the color I'm disappointed. I was hoping for stripes. Or maybe polka dots like a tortoise-shell cat. ?

You know, I'm not sure how it works. Cats have pet humans to care for them when their natural coloring makes it hard to hunt in the wild. Lemmings that easily spotted are more likely to end up as lunch. Even we blue lemmings blend in to our naturally icy environs. That and we've evolved the intelligence to use camouflage. Who do you think really runs the companies that make camo clothing?

Posted
1 hour ago, Grey Cloud said:

Wrong and I don't care what wiki says.

Wiki? I was going on a more reliable font of knowledge. A Shadowrun sourcebook. :classic_tongue:

 

Wait. Why are we arguing this? Just fear the lemming in a frenzy! The Vikings did. Especially when I got into their food stores. I drank all their mead! What's a Norseman without his mead?

Posted
Spoiler
44 minutes ago, Ernest Lemmingway said:

Wiki? I was going on a more reliable font of knowledge. A Shadowrun sourcebook. :classic_tongue:

 

Wait. Why are we arguing this? Just fear the lemming in a frenzy! The Vikings did. Especially when I got into their food stores. I drank all their mead! What's a Norseman without his mead?

 

What a Norseman without his mead? That should be the start of a joke.

Possible answers include:

1) a sober Scandinavian

2) a flipped out Finn

3) a demented Dane

4) a sloppy Swede

5) a needy Norwegian, or, my personal favorite

6) a northern Englishman who drinks beer instead.

 

I'm sure the Lemming can do much better than my poor attempts.

Posted
10 hours ago, Grey Cloud said:

It's not 'bear', it's 'bar'. It means 'without'. The word is still used in Yorkshire dialect.

On Ilkley Moor bar t'at

As a woman born in the olde kingdom of York, you git points for reminding me this exists. >:D

and then loose them because because whoever the hell is singin' that is not Yorkshire :[

We sound much more like



 

 



5) a needy Norwegian, or, my personal favorite

's how I got hitched. Denied the missis her alcohol untill she became needy enough to get married, now the alcohol flows freely once more. :D

Posted
2 hours ago, The First Lady of Hats said:

As a woman born in the olde kingdom of York, you git points for reminding me this exists. >:D

and then loose them because because whoever the hell is singin' that is not Yorkshire :[

We sound much more like

 

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's how I got hitched. Denied the missis her alcohol untill she became needy enough to get married, now the alcohol flows freely once more. :D

I'm from Lancashire.

Posted
5 hours ago, Psalam said:
  Reveal hidden contents

 

What a Norseman without his mead? That should be the start of a joke.

Possible answers include:

1) a sober Scandinavian

2) a flipped out Finn

3) a demented Dane

4) a sloppy Swede

5) a needy Norwegian, or, my personal favorite

6) a northern Englishman who drinks beer instead.

 

I'm sure the Lemming can do much better than my poor attempts.

No, I must say I'm impressed. That's better than I can think of right now.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Mr. Lemmingway, a rather serious matter at hand:

 

In theory: Let's say you have been honored for a noble deed and been given a precious sword of devine power. Now, we often tend to put these "throphies" on our walls to bathe every day in our previous heroism.

 

Spoiler

In practical terms: Putting Merida's Dawnbreaker at the wall next to my bed.

 

S122181.thumb.jpg.c4d83447b3596d45f67ce0890ec059d2.jpg

 

Yes, I can get rid of the candles and won't need to buy new ones ever again to have a light. And I can bathe in the memories of my heroic deeds even while I sleep.

 

But overall, is that a useful place for this artifact?

Posted
5 hours ago, worik said:

But overall, is that a useful place for this artifact?

Given the sorry way Daedric artifacts are handled, yes. That's the most useful place for it. :classic_sad: A perpetual night light. ?

Posted

Lemming!

I moved from a tiny house

Well, cottage. Where you couldn't wander five steps without tripping over absolutely everything at least three times on yer way to the fridge.

To a really big house that's far far too bloody big. So Imma trying to think of stupid and amusing things to do with the extra rooms I don't use.

Whats in YOUR house?/Hole?/Den?/Warren? I need ideas or imma just fill it with fridges full o' beer again D:<

Also I want a snekk but the missis won't let me, how do I convince womans that we absolutley definitley need a snekk and it is vital to our future welbeing and survival?

Posted

Well, one room I have is filled with bondage furniture as well as a stainless steel floor with a drain. That one only gets used on special occasions. Actually I haven't even done anything with it other than hose the dust out for at least a year now.

 

Another is a dedicated media room where the temperature is kept low and a high-quality air filter is run (electronics run hot and attract dust like kids attract dirt). I can't recommend that unless you've got a heap 'o money to spend, which I used to have. Until I furnished that room. Now I can't even afford to get many DVDs to watch unless they're in the bargain bin. And there's a reason they wind up there.

 

Then there's the Panic Room. Not a room with security features you can lock yourself into in case of an emergency, a room where I go to panic. Especially when those flying monkeys start coming out of my butt after I eat some of Moose's magic mushrooms. I padded the walls and floor pretty heavily, then laid down some plastic sheeting. Those damned monkeys always fling poop everywhere and it's impossible to get out of cloth. I know that now. ?

 

I don't do snekks, myself. But consider the Norwegian brown rat. Pesky little devils that get into your food, spread disease, and cause serious damage when they gnaw through your walls and even your electrical wiring. The little buggers are responsible for countless house fires every year and breed like...well, rats! People think b...bunnies breed fast? They're amateurs compared to rats. So if you get a reptile that eats them, you'll be better off.

 

Besides, rats compete with my Norwegian kin in the wild. There's a long-standing feud going on among the fjords. And those damned skeevers rats flourish among humans! We lemmings don't do as well unless we adopt certain practices like wearing pants, watching "reality" TV, and flipping off drivers on the road. That last one is really hard when you don't have fingers.

Posted
12 hours ago, Ernest Lemmingway said:

Besides, rats compete with my Norwegian kin in the wild.

Yer know. I've actually seen Norweigian lemmings out by Lofoten.

At the time I thought they were just viking gerbils.

Also none of them were blue :[

 

 


Vilemming.png
 

 

Posted
4 hours ago, The First Lady of Hats said:

Yer know. I've actually seen Norweigian lemmings out by Lofoten.

At the time I thought they were just viking gerbils.

Also none of them were blue :[

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Vilemming.png
 

 

Cousin Per?

Posted
12 hours ago, The First Lady of Hats said:

Also none of them were blue :[

That may be because we blue lemmings are a rare mutation. Mostly found in the Arctic portions of Canada. Ya hosier. That's "aboot" all naturalists know about us.

  • 3 weeks later...
Posted
On 8/31/2018 at 12:14 AM, Ernest Lemmingway said:

That may be because we blue lemmings are a rare mutation.

What is your mutant super power?

Did you go to a school for the extroadinarily gifted?

Can proffesor X actually walk and is just pretending to cash in welfare cheques?

Posted

A "mutation" in the same sense that naturally red hair in humans is a "mutation." We just sort of...happen. Although my cousins up in Canada are all blue lemmings as well. And their low intellects would indicate inbreeding...

Posted
Spoiler
14 hours ago, Ernest Lemmingway said:

A "mutation" in the same sense that naturally red hair in humans is a "mutation." We just sort of...happen. Although my cousins up in Canada are all blue lemmings as well. And their low intellects would indicate inbreeding...

 

Not that you're wrong but it could also mean bad mate selection (in general without necessarily inbreeding) on the part of your aunts and uncles, right?

 

Of course, here in Kentucky, we believe that finding a date is best done at family reunions (and similar gatherings). And since I am supposed to not get political I won't mention what this seems to have done for (to?) our state and local governments.

Posted

Aha! Now I know why my son is black and I'm not. In case he has a low intellect despite all my precaution

to avoid inbreeding depression, I know I'm not to blame... but Mendel and his fuckin' rules of inheritance.

 

Most folks have just a limited action scope - their mating ground - often way below 50 miles. That's genetically

not a problem in urban areas but in rural areas it might easily become one in the long run, leading to regional

characteristics in the phenotype... Pinocchio noses, Dumbo ears and alarming stuff alike. Oy vey!

Posted

Why are there no lemmings in my neck of the woods?

 

Spoiler

Tunturisopuli Lemmus Lemmus.jpg

 

We have squirrels, chipmunks, rabbits, field mice and many other types of rodent species. Why not lemmings! ?

Posted
7 hours ago, Psalam said:

Why are there no lemmings in my neck of the woods?

 

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Tunturisopuli Lemmus Lemmus.jpg

 

We have squirrels, chipmunks, rabbits, field mice and many other types of rodent species. Why not lemmings! ?

We're arctic critters. Most of us live way, way up north. Close to the Arctic Circle if not in it. I'm a rare exception; unlike most lemmings, I know how to work an air conditioner. I wish I could find the pic of my cousins trying to figure out how to work an AC unit on their show because it shows how tricky that is for them. They can't even understand that a symbol of a fan means "blower."

Posted
Spoiler
9 hours ago, Ernest Lemmingway said:

We're arctic critters. Most of us live way, way up north. Close to the Arctic Circle if not in it. I'm a rare exception; unlike most lemmings, I know how to work an air conditioner. I wish I could find the pic of my cousins trying to figure out how to work an AC unit on their show because it shows how tricky that is for them. They can't even understand that a symbol of a fan means "blower."

 

Well, in that case, how are your cousins dealing with pink ice. The red algal blooms look pretty but I'm sure that has messed with their ecosystems (since they've already messed up their cooling systems).

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