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Corrupt A Wish


Ashal

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Posted
40 minutes ago, ZenBuddhist said:


E A S I L Y • G R A N T E D ! 

while impatiently waiting for your computer to open Skyrim and process the 290 TB of Mods and CC you have installed, you decide to soothe by practicing a bit of Yoga meditation;
 

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buddhist-focus-300x290.jpg.0fe901dcf234bdf8aed36a06b009ed6c.jpg

 

 

after quieting your rage down by reaching the Samadhi (fullness, completion) state — you somehow achieve the Nirvana, and become The Enlightened her/himself.
 

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image5-1.jpg.3575dec7b30c61a199fb618c74b0e9f6.jpg

 

when returning to your physical body and stretching your muscles a little, you realise your game has CTD, so you patiently throw that piece of **** where it belongs: the garbage.

 

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• • • •

i wish i were a better storyteller.

GRANTED! just add animals (like Aesop) and you will be hailed as a genius!

Spoiler

Image result for image of animal Darth Vader

 

I wish I wasn't so repetitive.

Posted
13 minutes ago, Psalam said:

GRANTED! just add animals (like Aesop) and you will be hailed as a genius!

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

G R A N T E D ! ! !

by using the most powerful Skyrim spelling, @worik The Lady Warrior turns you from Echo to Narcissus!

 

Spoiler

modern_narcissus_2_0.jpg.b56ad6751ac75623e603a04a45856566.jpg

 

• • • • • • • • •


i wish I could fly
i wish i could touch the sky
i wish i could think about it every night and day
i wish i'd spread my wings and fly away.

Posted
4 minutes ago, ZenBuddhist said:

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

G R A N T E D ! ! !

by using the most powerful Skyrim spelling, @worik The Lady Warrior turns you from Echo to Narcissus!

 

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modern_narcissus_2_0.jpg.b56ad6751ac75623e603a04a45856566.jpg

 

• • • • • • • • •


i wish I could fly
i wish i could touch the sky
i wish i could think about it every night and day
i wish i'd spread my wings and fly away.

GRANTED! 

 

I wish that didn't make me cringe.

Posted
1 hour ago, ZenBuddhist said:

i wish i were a better storyteller.

Granted.

But the ultimate equilibrium forces in the universe morph your audience to be an incoherent inattentive noisy bunch of chimpanzees. ?

 

I wish I would be friendlier to animals.

Posted
3 minutes ago, worik said:

Granted.

But the ultimate equilibrium forces in the universe morph your audience to be an incoherent inattentive noisy bunch of chimpanzees. ?

 

I wish I would be friendlier to animals.

GRANTED! you will now be nice to every creature who are of the same species as the ones in this cage:

Image result for people in a cage

 

I wish those kitties weren't so hungry!

Posted
1 hour ago, Psalam said:

I wish those kitties weren't so hungry!

Granted... but someone else is ...

Spoiler

 

 

I wish there would be dragons.

Posted
14 minutes ago, worik said:

Granted... but someone else is ...

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I wish there would be dragons.

GRANTED! 

 

I wish my dog had not dug up my lavender.

Posted
2 hours ago, Psalam said:

I wish my dog had not dug up my lavender.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!

277366114_ScreenShot2019-06-28at2_38_03PM.png.a7eddfcc7afac0b5d708e35f5cea1d52.png

G R A N T E D ! ! ! 

meanwhile — in a country where nothing at all happens — this hit the news:

 

Spoiler

403135144_ScreenShot2019-06-28at2_42_01PM.png.60d20ad7a9c883f5d88a041132ecf0f2.png


• • • • •

i wish my monster-mongrels would stop fighting each other and would quit running after the mail dude.

Posted
12 minutes ago, ZenBuddhist said:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!

277366114_ScreenShot2019-06-28at2_38_03PM.png.a7eddfcc7afac0b5d708e35f5cea1d52.png

G R A N T E D ! ! ! 

meanwhile — in a country where nothing at all happens — this hit the news:

 

  Reveal hidden contents

403135144_ScreenShot2019-06-28at2_42_01PM.png.60d20ad7a9c883f5d88a041132ecf0f2.png


• • • • •

i wish my monster-mongrels would stop fighting each other and would quit running after the mail dude.

GRANTED! after all, all you need is to get them collars, right?

 

https://video.disney.com/watch/lady-gets-her-collar-4bdfb32cbe36c90ba914d40b

 

I wish my wife felt better.

Posted
On 6/29/2019 at 3:58 AM, Psalam said:

GRANTED! after all, all you need is to get them collars, right?

 

I wish my wife felt better.

Granted. She now automatically consumes the health and happiness from the earth whenever the need demands it, in turn making her feel better... however in a few years time unnoticed chunks of the earth's health has been filled with corruption, tainting the lands and becoming a nest for foul creatures. It now falls to you to fix this however I must ask you this...

 

Are you a bad enough dude to save the earth, eliminate the corruption and it's foul creations and finally reverse this wish?

 

I wish my Custard apple seed would grow into a tree.

Posted
1 hour ago, NitroHamlin said:

Granted. She now automatically consumes the health and happiness from the earth whenever the need demands it, in turn making her feel better... however in a few years time unnoticed chunks of the earth's health has been filled with corruption, tainting the lands and becoming a nest for foul creatures. It now falls to you to fix this however I must ask you this...

 

Are you a bad enough dude to save the earth, eliminate the corruption and it's foul creations and finally reverse this wish?

 

I wish my Custard apple seed would grow into a tree.

Welcome back.

 

GRANTED! Since you didn't specify, it grows into a Kudzu tree (the world's first but just as invasive as the vine).

 

I wish I were badass enough to save the earth.

Posted
1 hour ago, NitroHamlin said:

I wish my Custard apple seed would grow into a tree.

 

G R A N T E D ! ! !

that weird yet healthy seed you've been keeping since you're a toddler and that you believe is a Custard Apple one begins to bud into a sprout and soon it blossoms as a beautiful young bush. you feed it with all sorts of nutrients and nurture it with sheer love. one Monday morning, as you and your family wake to have breakfast, you realise that arboreous being isn't a Custard Apple after all.
 

Spoiler

1969990079_ScreenShot2019-07-01at11_58_56AM.png.9735a753398fe0f539fded2190b3ca56.png

 

• • • • •

 

i wish she would write me back.

Posted
11 minutes ago, Psalam said:

I wish I were badass enough to save the earth.


¡ ¡ ¡ G R A N T E D ! ! !

yet, the Universal Screenwriter (some Archangel, perhaps) doesn't understand your southern accent, and is in doubt — "did he say Badass or Blackass?"
in the attempt to avoid any confusion, S/He (the Archangel — they are genderless, for all we know) finds it more prudent to turn you into both.
 

Spoiler

3240055366_e94bb95954_o-1-e1545623490896.jpg.6809f981a7d73470159c77ac783796f3.jpg


• • • • •

 

i truly wish she would write me back.
 

Posted
7 minutes ago, ZenBuddhist said:

 

G R A N T E D ! ! !

that weird yet healthy seed you've been keeping since you're a toddler and that you believe is a Custard Apple one begins to bud into a sprout and soon it blossoms as a beautiful young bush. you feed it with all sorts of nutrients and nurture it with sheer love. one Monday morning, as you and your family wake to have breakfast, you realise that arboreous being isn't a Custard Apple after all.
 

  Reveal hidden contents

1969990079_ScreenShot2019-07-01at11_58_56AM.png.9735a753398fe0f539fded2190b3ca56.png

 

• • • • •

 

i wish she would write me back.

GRANTED! you receive a letter from Theresa May welcoming you to the British Army (you're drafted boyo)!

 

I'll stick with the wish I posted above.

Posted
2 hours ago, NitroHamlin said:

I wish my Custard apple seed would grow into a tree.

Granted

here it is ...

Spoiler

The_Gildergreen.png

 

You see? You just need to cross the border, get a smack on your head, wake up on a cart, get wheeled to your beheading, create a new face, get roasted by a dragon  .....

 

 

Edit:

*sigh* Too slow ?

53 minutes ago, Psalam said:

I wish I were badass enough to save the earth.

Granted

Though right as you are about to save the earth, politicians crossed the tipping points and destroyed mankind. They just forgot that nature's laws don't care about "opinions", "majorities" and "polls".

 

I wish would find the bug in my mod,  where it won't find the Beeing female contraceptives, when I try to use the soft dependency trick. :classic_angry: It worked two month ago!

Posted
31 minutes ago, Psalam said:

GRANTED! you receive a letter from Theresa May welcoming you to the British Army (you're drafted boyo)!

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Posted
4 minutes ago, worik said:

I wish would find the bug in my mod


G R A N T E D ! ! ! 

it's right here, milady Worik — line 11126:

gettyimages-899757644-640x640.jpg.3d72af5d2bdd0a9a346394e42e922f3d.jpg

now all you gotta do is to learn Mandarin.

 

• • • • •


i wish i could meet Worik and Psalam for a nice dinner and wine/beer. 

Posted
40 minutes ago, ZenBuddhist said:


G R A N T E D ! ! ! 

it's right here, milady Worik — line 11126:

gettyimages-899757644-640x640.jpg.3d72af5d2bdd0a9a346394e42e922f3d.jpg

now all you gotta do is to learn Mandarin.

 

• • • • •


i wish i could meet Worik and Psalam for a nice dinner and wine/beer. 

GRANTED! but since you don't know what we look like you find yourself meeting with human traffickers and not knowing the difference.

 

I wish there were no human traffickers.

Posted
20 minutes ago, Psalam said:

I wish there were no human traffickers.

GRANTED!

A PR consultant told them that they need a rebranding to gain new "public acceptance". They operate now under the label "Freedom-activists for new markets and opportunities" ?️

 

I wish my code would be as readable as Mandarin :classic_confused:

Posted
1 minute ago, worik said:

GRANTED!

A PR consultant told them that they need a rebranding to gain new "public acceptance". They operate now under the label "Freedom-activists for new markets and opportunities" ?️

 

I wish my code would be as readable as Mandarin :classic_confused:

GRANTED! your code is now as readable as this:

 

image.jpeg.485b6b0b7b70a3931fba950a72c3f972.jpeg

 

I wish human beings weren't so gullible that a "rebranding" changes their thinking.

Posted
1 hour ago, Psalam said:

I wish human beings weren't so gullible that a "rebranding" changes their thinking.

 

G R A N T E D ! ! !

from now on, human beings are only naive and credulous when there's a change in corporate image non-classified as "rebranding" — e.g. they (we) despise everything associated with the mafia but support or ignore the activities related to "the syndicate."
 

i wish i weren't such a noob.

 

Posted
9 minutes ago, ZenBuddhist said:

 

G R A N T E D ! ! !

from now on, human beings are only naive and credulous when there's a change in corporate image non-classified as "rebranding" — e.g. they (we) despise everything associated with the mafia but support or ignore the activities related to "the syndicate."
 

i wish i weren't such a noob.

 

GRANTED! since being a noob is a relative thing (I hope you enjoy the lesson):

 

 

I wish I weren't so repetitive ... wait! I did that one!

I wish I weren't so repetitive ... wait! I did that one!

I wish I weren't so repetitive ... wait! I did that one!

 

Okay, okay! I wish Shangri-La really existed.

Posted
9 minutes ago, Psalam said:

Okay, okay! I wish Shangri-La really existed.

 

E A S I L Y • G R A N T E D ! ! !


638108050_ScreenShot2019-07-01at3_55_58PM.png.4e2d2a26de3f69a4e4bcaef6162716cd.png

 

• • • • •
 

i too wish i weren't so wish-repetitive

i too wish i weren't so wish-repetitive

i too wish i weren't so wish-repetitive

i too wish i weren't so wish-repetitive
i too wish i weren't so wish-repetitive

i too wish i weren't so wish-repetitive

Posted
1 minute ago, ZenBuddhist said:

 

E A S I L Y • G R A N T E D ! ! !


638108050_ScreenShot2019-07-01at3_55_58PM.png.4e2d2a26de3f69a4e4bcaef6162716cd.png

 

• • • • •
 

i too wish i weren't so wish-repetitive

i too wish i weren't so wish-repetitive

i too wish i weren't so wish-repetitive

i too wish i weren't so wish-repetitive
i too wish i weren't so wish-repetitive

i too wish i weren't so wish-repetitive

GRANTED! just change the name of the chick you're wishing for (Angela, Bambi, Candy, Dorothea, etc.) and they won't be repetitive right?

 

I wish I knew all the answers to half the questions.

Posted
7 hours ago, Psalam said:

GRANTED! just change the name of the chick you're wishing for (Angela, Bambi, Candy, Dorothea, etc.) and they won't be repetitive right?

 

I wish I knew all the answers to half the questions.

Granted. You will be asked the following questions...

 

1. Will it rain tomorrow?

2. What happens after we die?

3. How do I move my conscience into a robot to gain immortality?

4. When will Lilith's Throne v3.4 be released?

5. Where is the Lost City of Atlantis?

6. Why does @NitroHamlin that username?

7. Are Harpies as bad as people say they are?

 

Half of 7 is 3.5, rounded down is 3. You'll know the answers to 1, 2* and 4 by tomorrow.

 

*you may only know the answer to this after death.

 

I wish crows didn't have such a poor reputation.

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