Corrupt A Wish

[Psalam]

6 hours ago, NitroHamlin said:

Granted. You will be asked the following questions...

 

1. Will it rain tomorrow?

2. What happens after we die?

3. How do I move my conscience into a robot to gain immortality?

4. When will Lilith's Throne v3.4 be released?

5. Where is the Lost City of Atlantis?

6. Why does @NitroHamlin that username?

7. Are Harpies as bad as people say they are?

 

Half of 7 is 3.5, rounded down is 3. You'll know the answers to 1, 2* and 4 by tomorrow.

 

*you may only know the answer to this after death.

 

I wish crows didn't have such a poor reputation.

GRANTED! Heretofore all crows will be known as "rooks" and not just that subspecies. Since rooks are also pieces in the noble game of chess their reputation will skyrocket!

 

I wish I did know why NitroHamlin chose that username.

[NitroHamlin]

12 hours ago, Psalam said:

GRANTED! Heretofore all crows will be known as "rooks" and not just that subspecies. Since rooks are also pieces in the noble game of chess their reputation will skyrocket!

 

I wish I did know why NitroHamlin chose that username.

Granted. I guess you found a loophole to your previous wish.

 

Steamlights, also known as Platinum Nitro is a fictional solid crystal fuel in the animated movie 'Redline'. They are mostly known for their cerulean colour and extremely high power output. Because of this, weaker engines that take this fuel usually end up as a smouldering wreck on the side of the track. That's what the 'Nitro' part is from.

 

'Hamlin', I got from a weapon in the game Patapon 3 (and Patapon 2), it was called the 'Horns of Hamlin' and it was also a weapon that I never used because it was a twinhorn and twinhorns are weak. I just needed a surname for my character in FFXIV and that was the best option that came to mind.

 

Though not all information is free, without you knowing, someone slipped a Steamlight into the fuel tank of your car and your neighbour now plays a twinhorn every night.

 

I wish moving to a new planet were as easy as moving to a new house.

[ZenBuddhist]

4 hours ago, NitroHamlin said:

I wish moving to a new planet were as easy as moving to a new house.

¡ E A S I L Y • G R A N T E D !
 

since relocating into a new house is one of the most complex and time-consuming tasks ever created by the human species, moving to a new planet is actually a lot easier: your starship is already your new home.

i wish i had a whole week for myself and my-self only: no mongrels, no work, no family, no calls — just me.

[NitroHamlin]

7 hours ago, ZenBuddhist said:

¡ E A S I L Y • G R A N T E D !
 

since relocating into a new house is one of the most complex and time-consuming tasks ever created by the human species, moving to a new planet is actually a lot easier: your starship is already your new home.

i wish i had a whole week for myself and my-self only: no mongrels, no work, no family, no calls — just me.

Granted. No one but you, or to be more specific your evil Doppelganger.

 

I wish I had a doppelganger... who isn't evil.

[Psalam]

4 hours ago, NitroHamlin said:

Granted. No one but you, or to be more specific your evil Doppelganger.

 

I wish I had a doppelganger... who isn't evil.

GRANTED! your doppelganger isn't evil just needy and clinging. You can't go anywhere without him and his presence and habits make your presence unattractive to everyone else.

 

I wish everyone a wonderful summer vacation.

[NitroHamlin]

16 hours ago, Psalam said:

GRANTED! your doppelganger isn't evil just needy and clinging. You can't go anywhere without him and his presence and habits make your presence unattractive to everyone else.

 

I wish everyone a wonderful summer vacation.

Granted. It's going to be the best summer imaginable. However it's going to rain almost everyday and on the other half of the world it's not summer.

 

I wish when it's summer (on the other side of the world) it wont be unbearably hot.

[Psalam]

3 hours ago, NitroHamlin said:

Granted. It's going to be the best summer imaginable. However it's going to rain almost everyday and on the other half of the world it's not summer.

 

I wish when it's summer (on the other side of the world) it wont be unbearably hot.

GRANTED! instead we will have a return to Snowball Earth:

This was "Snowball Earth" – a deep freeze that began around 715 million years ago and held Earth in its icy grip for a good 120 million years. "There are no other comparable glacial periods on Earth.Jan 12, 2015
Earth - Earth was a frozen Snowball when animals first evolved - BBC

 

I wish more people, including myself, could learn to be content with what they have.

[worik]

On 7/4/2019 at 11:25 AM, Psalam said:

I wish more people, including myself, could learn to be content with what they have.

GRANTED ?

More people (including you) learn to be content with what they have. Suddenly, you all realize that you have severe caries ... fortunately you all are content with what you have and the profession of "dentist" becomes extinct.

 

I wish middle management in companies would have to proof once a year that they have at least the average mathematical skills of a 10 year old child in primary school.

[Psalam]

3 hours ago, worik said:

GRANTED ?

More people (including you) learn to be content with what they have. Suddenly, you all realize that you have severe caries ... fortunately you all are content with what you have and the profession of "dentist" becomes extinct.

 

I wish middle management in companies would have to proof once a year that they have at least the average mathematical skills of a 10 year old child in primary school.

GRANTED! Of course that comes with a price. Their already borderline autistic disorders are now worsened and, while they can no longer communicate in any meaningful way, they are mathematical geniuses one and all.

 

I hate the term middle management.

 

But, I wish everyone who works full time in a company received pro rata wages based on their seniority and responsibilities.

[worik]

On 7/6/2019 at 11:39 AM, Psalam said:

But, I wish everyone who works full time in a company received pro rata wages based on their seniority and responsibilities.

GRANTED!

Fortunately, modern workplace science invents the self-slavery technique called "work-life-balance-optimization" and raises synergies with "self-actualization-at-workspace".

So the workforce lemmings (except for the rare blue kind) don't call it "work" anymore.

Thus the companies can skip these fruitless, unfair and inequality-promoting wage-discussions at all.

 

I wish I would be able to speak more languages.

[Psalam]

3 minutes ago, worik said:

GRANTED!

Fortunately, modern workplace science invents the self-slavery technique called "work-life-balance-optimization" and raises synergies with "self-actualization-at-workspace".

So the workforce lemmings (except for the rare blue kind) don't call it "work" anymore.

Thus the companies can skip these fruitless, unfair and inequality-promoting wage-discussions at all.

 

I wish I would be able to speak more languages.

GRANTED! of course, no one can understand a word that you say, but you can say it in over a hundred ways!

 

I wish all people spoke, and understood, a single tongue. Then again, maybe I don't. 

[ZenBuddhist]

On 8/9/2019 at 1:24 PM, Psalam said:

I wish all people spoke, and understood, a single tongue. Then again, maybe I don't. 

 

¡ G R A N T E D !

from now on, all people in the world speak and understand one simple tongue;
this:
 

Spoiler

 

[ edit: a charming tongue, indeed ]

 

• • • • •

 

i wish life would be a bit dyslexic for once and give me melons instead of lemons.

 

[Psalam]

11 minutes ago, ZenBuddhist said:

 

¡ G R A N T E D !

from now on, all people in the world speak and understand one simple tongue;
this:
 

  Hide contents

 

[ edit: a charming tongue, indeed ]

 

• • • • •

 

i wish life would be a bit dyslexic for once and give me melons instead of lemons.

 

GRANTED! instead of lemons your life will now be solemn!

 

I wish your picture didn't creep me out!

[ZenBuddhist]

27 minutes ago, Psalam said:

I wish your picture didn't creep me out!

 

G R A N T E D !

from now on, i'll only post selfies that won't creep you out!
 

Spoiler

 

• • • • •

 

[ e d i t ] i wish i didn't constantly forget to post my wishes to be corrupted.

 

[Psalam]

5 minutes ago, ZenBuddhist said:

 

G R A N T E D !

from now on, i'll only post selfies that won't creep you out!
 

  Hide contents

 

• • • • •

 

[ e d i t ] i wish i didn't constantly forget to post my wishes to be corrupted.

 

GRANTED! now you'll only forget as frequently as I do (wait, what?!).

 

I wish you luck finding a good plastic surgeon to correct your craniofacial issues!

[NitroHamlin]

On 8/12/2019 at 10:32 PM, Psalam said:

GRANTED! now you'll only forget as frequently as I do (wait, what?!).

 

I wish you luck finding a good plastic surgeon to correct your craniofacial issues!

Granted. The plastic surgeon he finds is fairly good at his craft and will "correct" any problems he has.

 

Unfortunately there are times people look in the wrong places and get something completely different to what they were initially looking for.

 

In his case he ends up looking like this:

Spoiler

 

Personally I think it looks great, though many others would disagree.

 

I wish I looked that handsome.

[Psalam]

7 minutes ago, NitroHamlin said:

Granted. The plastic surgeon he finds is fairly good at his craft and will "correct" any problems he has.

 

Unfortunately there are times people look in the wrong places and get something completely different to what they were initially looking for.

 

In his case he ends up looking like this:

  Hide contents

 

Personally I think it looks great, though many others would disagree.

 

I wish I looked that handsome.

Welcome back to the thread, my friend!

 

GRANTED! now you look just like this:

Spoiler

I had to go B&W to get the coloring correct.

 

I wish I weren't so old that this was the image that came to my mind!

[worik]

1 hour ago, Psalam said:

I wish I weren't so old that this was the image that came to my mind!

Granted, you are younger.

And now, you have this image in your mind

Spoiler

 

 

I wish I would have an idea what to eat today

Spoiler

*) 1st world problem

 

[Psalam]

21 minutes ago, worik said:

Granted, you are younger.

And now, you have this image in your mind

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

I wish I would have an idea what to eat today

  Reveal hidden contents

*) 1st world problem

 

GRANTED!  (any questions?)

 

I wish I had a Doc McStuffins playset! (I wonder why I would want that?)

[NitroHamlin]

5 hours ago, Psalam said:

GRANTED!  (any questions?)

 

I wish I had a Doc McStuffins playset! (I wonder why I would want that?)

Granted. But it arrives at the worst time possible in clear packaging (at night, in a mild rainstorm and in the middle of "fun times" with your SO)

 

I feel a little cursed after looking that up.

 

I wish I were more attractive to dragons.

[worik]

7 hours ago, NitroHamlin said:

I wish I were more attractive to dragons.

Granted, they love you. Though this

7 hours ago, NitroHamlin said:

I feel a little cursed after looking that up.

grew to a good old lasting-for-generations curse. Misery is your new name. Burning eternally in hell would feel like a relief. But that's why dragons love you now.

 

I wish I could feel less disgusted about the area of our town that I need to visit later today.

[NitroHamlin]

2 hours ago, worik said:

Granted, they love you. Though this

grew to a good old lasting-for-generations curse. Misery is your new name. Burning eternally in hell would feel like a relief. But that's why dragons love you now.

 

I wish I could feel less disgusted about the area of our town that I need to visit later today.

Granted. Suddenly that part of town sinks into the molten earth below without a trace.

 

You are no longer disgusted by it and you also no longer have to go there... However you are now horrified that an entire part of a town can just disappear like that.

 

I wish I were always clean (because the shower is always cold).

[Psalam]

1 minute ago, NitroHamlin said:

Granted. Suddenly that part of town sinks into the molten earth below without a trace.

 

You are no longer disgusted by it and you also no longer have to go there... However you are now horrified that an entire part of a town can just disappear like that.

 

I wish I were always clean (because the shower is always cold).

GRANTED! sadly the loss of the ability to shed skin means that yours grows thick and scaly as in ichthyosis.

 

I wish I knew who will win the 2020 Presidential election so I know how to make my future plans.

[worik]

29 minutes ago, Psalam said:

I wish I knew who will win the 2020 Presidential election so I know how to make my future plans.

Granted, you know it. That reduces your plans to

a) becoming the evil dicatator of mankind yourself... before the otehr assholes finish their doings.

b) hoping to escape in time

Spoiler

 

 

 

Quote

...  and you also no longer have to go there

I wish @NitroHamlin woud be correct, but this is so corrupted, my wish would not be possible to corrupt any further.

SO, instead: I wish I will get a decent meal there in a nice and clean restaurant and meet clean non-smelling, non-grumpy, non-asshole people on my way.

 

[Psalam]

1 hour ago, worik said:

Granted, you know it. That reduces your plans to

a) becoming the evil dicatator of mankind yourself... before the otehr assholes finish their doings.

b) hoping to escape in time

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

 

I wish @NitroHamlin woud be correct, but this is so corrupted, my wish would not be possible to corrupt any further.

SO, instead: I wish I will get a decent meal there in a nice and clean restaurant and meet clean non-smelling, non-grumpy, non-asshole people on my way.

 

GRANTED! but, sadly, to accomplish this you wind up in a parallel universe in which all those requirements are met but you remain extraordinarily nauseated the entire time!

 

I wish I could just skip out, like the dolphins did!