Skyrim Ranting

[Gukahn]

Just need to let my frustration out. I am in the middle of doing some Screenshots at some Water place, everything is setup. Many shots already made but just as i wanted to make some expressions and poses BAM. Slaughterfish, nowhere to be found but still near enough to fuck up every expression. I fucking HATE this Pissheads, they are almost at every place with Water, NEVER attack you more then Once until they swim away, too fast to catch up and of Course since we are in the Water, you CAN'T target the motherfuckers with the console, at least not the first 10 Times! I Freaking hate them, WHY are they even a Thing. They could be docile, only attack if you do or just not exist. Skyrim doesn't even have Watercombat, that's the stupidest thing about them!

(I know i can toggle of all AI but just let me rant ?)

 

While we are at it, what are your most hated things that just don't need to be in the Game but are for some unholy reason?  Or.. Just rant about something that pisses you off  for some reason ?

[Alessia Wellington]

44 minutes ago, Gukahn said:

Slaughterfish

 

Bad Slaughterfish

[Gukahn]

19 minutes ago, Alessia Wellington said:

 

Bad Slaughterfish

Thanks, going to get it later. Still.. Why the fuck do they even exist ?

[Alessia Wellington]

2 minutes ago, Gukahn said:

Why the fuck do they even exist

 

To prevent you from skinny-dipping wherever you want.

[Darkpig]

Thieves Guild. Fuck em! A piss poor excuse for guild that should have consisted of major heists but can't even do that right.

 

Thieves Guild spoilers ahead not that you're missing out on much:

Spoiler

Instead of heists you work for a beer company to get rid of a skeever infestation and ruin a perfectly good vat of beer just for some other beer company to take over. Then you do some investigating, become a priest and return a key.

 

Even raiding Elenwen's panty drawer would be preferable to this shit. Not that anybody would actually want Elenwen's panties.

[Speed Metal]

13 minutes ago, Darkpig said:

Elenwen's panties

Crusty Thalmor undies. How delicious.

[Gukahn]

26 minutes ago, Alessia Wellington said:

To prevent you from skinny-dipping wherever you want.

How do you know what i was currently shooting? ?

 

14 minutes ago, Darkpig said:

Thieves Guild. Fuck em! A piss poor excuse for guild that should have consisted of major heists but can't even do that right.

YES! For me the second worst Guild in the entire Game, right after Companions. I played ESO for 2 Years and got to play their thieves guild Addon. It's a disgrace how good an MMO managed a Questline compared to the actual Arcade game were it would have been more important ? Really, thieves Guild in Eso was a treat when talking about storyline. (actual thieving was still no fun tho)

Edited June 5, 2022 by Gukahn

[Alessia Wellington]

Just now, Gukahn said:

How do you know what i was currently shooting?

 

You don't wanna know.

[Gukahn]

6 minutes ago, Alessia Wellington said:

 

You don't wanna know.

Help ?

[Darkpig]

9 minutes ago, Gukahn said:

YES! For me the second worst Guild in the entire Game, right after Companions.

Dirge's stupid voice echoing inside my skull would say it is the other way around. Just my opinion though. The Companions do have some really stupid moments though. Go to a cave full of dangerous witches alone Kodlak says because he doesn't want the others to know despite just saying how much he hates all this sneaking about.

[Heroine HoneyCrotch]

I thought the mage quest was the worst. Truth is all 3 mentioned sucks. 

 

39 minutes ago, Darkpig said:

and return a key.

 

Im not returning shit, fuck nocturnal 

 

 

[Guest]

If you want to be a relic hunter, join the Bard's College and fetch Olaf's book. If you want to be a bard, go play Final Fantasy 11 or 14,

[Gukahn]

2 hours ago, Darkpig said:

Go to a cave full of dangerous witches alone Kodlak says because he doesn't want the others to know despite just saying how much he hates all this sneaking about.

Not only that. I mean first they turn you into a werewolfe after what? 2 Quests? 3 at most while other members are there way longer then you are. What makes you better then.. Let's say Njada or Torvar? If i remember that one right both are trainers with rather high skill level. But no, let's turn the noob and 4 Days later you are the Harbringer. WTF is wrong with Guilds in skyrim..

 

21 minutes ago, 3G4 said:

If you want to be a relic hunter, join the Bard's College and fetch Olaf's book. If you want to be a bard, go play Final Fantasy 11 or 14,

Yeah.. Finding one book and some lost instrument doesn't make you a relic hunter, rather their "Fetch it Bitch" ?

[Alessia Wellington]

2 minutes ago, Gukahn said:

WTF is wrong with Guilds in skyrim

 

Pretty much everything. That's why I don't join any.

[Mr. Otaku]

3 hours ago, Darkpig said:

Thieves Guild. Fuck em! A piss poor excuse for guild that should have consisted of major heists but can't even do that right.

 

Thieves Guild spoilers ahead not that you're missing out on much:

  Hide contents

Instead of heists you work for a beer company to get rid of a skeever infestation and ruin a perfectly good vat of beer just for some other beer company to take over. Then you do some investigating, become a priest and return a key.

 

Even raiding Elenwen's panty drawer would be preferable to this shit. Not that anybody would actually want Elenwen's panties.

This is pretty spot on, imagine if the Thieves Guild had actual heists and radiant home/town robberies. That would've been so great, maybe even tying that into the war situation for extra spice. Where's the Skyrim equivalent of El Rubio?

[Gukahn]

11 minutes ago, Alessia Wellington said:

Pretty much everything. That's why I don't join any.

yeah, i don't to that too anymore unless i have to for a reason.

 

6 minutes ago, Mr. Otaku said:

Where's the Skyrim equivalent of El Rubio?

Got Cut for poorly made horse "Riding" the pathetic excuse for Dragon flying and of course my personal favorite: a 3 Minute Civil War no npc even bothers to be really worried about. ?

[Mr. Otaku]

7 minutes ago, Gukahn said:

yeah, i don't to that too anymore unless i have to for a reason.

 

Got Cut for poorly made horse "Riding" the pathetic excuse for Dragon flying and of course my personal favorite: a 3 Minute Civil War no npc even bothers to be really worried about. ?

Even 2t1 can't fix that kind of bullshit. 

 

[SmedleyDButler]

3 hours ago, Alessia Wellington said:

 

Pretty much everything. That's why I don't join any.

 

Thiiiiiiiiis.

 

Also the thieves make you do that horrible petty theft grind instead of any real heists. Of course you mod that out (you almost have to, it's so stupidly tedious).

 

What's even worse is how the guild quests are fucked up in ways that make improving them with a modded total rework extremely daunting, which is why 11 years later we still DON'T HAVE a decent mod replacement for the Companions/TG/DB questlines, only tweaks to conditions, timing, etc.

 

At least someone was able to make a real bard's college storyline, because there just wasn't really anything there to start with.

 

Much more fun to play the mods which let you destroy the TG & DB. Way too much fun to kick Maven's face into the dirt.

 

[Darkpig]

15 hours ago, Gukahn said:

Not only that. I mean first they turn you into a werewolfe after what? 2 Quests? 3 at most while other members are there way longer then you are. What makes you better then.. Let's say Njada or Torvar? If i remember that one right both are trainers with rather high skill level. But no, let's turn the noob and 4 Days later you are the Harbringer. WTF is wrong with Guilds in skyrim..

Funny enough I never found an issue with too little quests. Probably cause I bump the difficulty to legendary with an ass naked character.? Maybe they could pad it out with more random quests to give your character some time to progress but even then the companions will dismiss it as 'whelp' work. After all you are only slaying a random troll not some world consuming dragon.

[Gukahn]

18 minutes ago, Darkpig said:

Funny enough I never found an issue with too little quests. Probably cause I bump the difficulty to legendary with an ass naked character.? Maybe they could pad it out with more random quests to give your character some time to progress but even then the companions will dismiss it as 'whelp' work. After all you are only slaying a random troll not some world consuming dragon.

 

Mh i DO should try that one out sometime ?

And yeah you are not slaying something world changing but at the End of the Day.. You still save the Day ? Ok i don't, i used the mod to fuck em up and enslaved Aela and Ria.. Once , need to do it again sometime...  "This is Jorvasrk" makes their Place to a wonderful Brothel ?

[Darkpig]

15 hours ago, Gukahn said:

 

Mh i DO should try that one out sometime ?

And yeah you are not slaying something world changing but at the End of the Day.. You still save the Day ? Ok i don't, i used the mod to fuck em up and enslaved Aela and Ria.. Once , need to do it again sometime...  "This is Jorvasrk" makes their Place to a wonderful Brothel ?

The Companions is a strangely fitting name for a brothel but the Silver Hand Escort Services sounds much fancier. I'll get back to you once I find a good name.

[Gukahn]

22 minutes ago, Darkpig said:

The Companions is a strangely fitting name for a brothel but the Silver Hand Escort Services sounds much fancier. I'll get back to you once I find a good name.

The Circle does make a great synonym for a gangbang

[Gukahn]

Next Rant.

I love everyone who puts mods out there (Well not everyone but many. Some are just weird me out. )

And changing the Height of Npcs in 3 minutes in SSEDIT can't be considered more then mildly inconvenient. But i've done that now for.. 20 Followers and Replacers. Why does everyone think making Certain npc´s smaller then vanilla is a good thing ? Yeah i know, Gukahn stop bitching, be grateful you can choose between replacers and Followers to a point were it is getting ridiculous of how many there are and the only thing your lazy ass has to do is changing 2 digits, but still.. Määääh ? 

[Farsh-nuke]

Markath legit messed me up the first time I went there, to this day I avoid it. Like The Thieves Guild The Dark Brotherhood and the Vampires have you go in with your eyes open to how dark things are about to get. Markath is like "Oh there are zombies in a crypt I'll just go clear them out - and now I'm part of a cannibal cult." "Vigilant of Stendar wants me to investigate a creepy house, sure - Now I'm beating a priest to death over and over" 

Oh and then there's the whole horrific conspiracy and how the first time I was so confused I ended up siding with the Maddenach thinking it was the only way out.

The kicker is that there's a nice comedy drinking quest that will teleport you straight to Markath and until you finish that quest you cannot drop alto wine as it is considered a quest item.

[Gukahn]

1 hour ago, Farsh-nuke said:

Markath

I agree. Markath is just too full of forced Sidequests. You get thrown all over the damn place in the first few minutes you are there. Worst thing is, you have to go there if you want to do specific quests or simply if you want the Rose..  Which is to this day the coolest fucking staff and the most useful artifact you can get ? And my favorite daedric quest to boot. Nothing beats Sam ?