I've realized I've missed quite some chapters here. I think for this one it was as you mentioned this was a split of Chapter 11 first parts, which I had already read. But... I certainly don't recall any of the content of that part 3, so this isn't a mere split.

And this is quite the part ! You've deepened the intertwining  of Jenna/y/ies psychologics with the theme of the darkness. And you did it not only while tastefully building the sexual climaxes during the different scenes, but also by introducing new elements of resistance for the last protagonists standing. This increased the suspense greatly, as it let the reader imagine the darkness could possibly be vanquished. Until the logical end.  Good job also with the technicalities, with the different stages of undressing, I know that took some doing. Great entry ! ?

 « I knew there were going to be problems when those gals tried to honey-honey together. 

                But, when try to explain this to other people, they don't believe me, no.  »

Wanted to let you know that that I never thought of the idea of Jenny being corrupted by Neverine when she went through the portal. After you mentioned it a few chapters back, I thought it was a great idea to use it and make Neverine’s and Jenny’s simultaneous portal crossing the red herring for Jenny’s corruption.

7 hours ago, Tirloque said:

I've realized I've missed quite some chapters here. 

Whew....was kinda glad you did. You’ve been so supportive and helpful that after not hearing from you for over two months, I thought I had offended you in some way 

7 hours ago, Tirloque said:

I think for this one it was as you mentioned this was a split of Chapter 11 first parts, which I had already read. But... I certainly don't recall any of the content of that part 3, so this isn't a mere split.

This entry (Part 3) was originally published with the second parts/next entry (Parts 4 and 5) and not the earlier ones. @SpyVsPie made a very good point in the next entry that parts 3, 4, and 5 were pretty meaty and heavy in story, content, and length for a single entry. I hope it didn’t hurt this entry as I’m noticing at the moment Part 3 has under 300 views while Parts 4 & 5 having close to 1200 views. Which does suck as Part 3 was the one that broke me. 
 

7 hours ago, Tirloque said:

And this is quite the part ! You've deepened the intertwining  of Jenna/y/ies psychologics with the theme of the darkness. And you did it not only while tastefully building the sexual climaxes during the different scenes, but also by introducing new elements of resistance for the last protagonists standing. This increased the suspense greatly, as it let the reader imagine the darkness could possibly be vanquished. Until the logical end.  Good job also with the technicalities, with the different stages of undressing, I know that took some doing. Great entry !

The Turn of Jenny was a challenge to write  despite being planning as far back as Book 1.  I wanted each of the three to be taken differently. Originally, I planned for each to be taken in a different setting and situation, but I was hitting writing walls (one was a silent hill hallway type setting).

Then I remembered several people commenting that the three had distinct personalities despite being the same person. That’s when I eventually stumbled into having them taken through their personality types: 

-The middle Jenna taken quick as she easily fell into/embraced her own lusts with almost no resistance. 

-The older, more sexually experienced one, trying to resist but failing. 

-Finally, the youngest trying to trick and outsmart the Darkness with the irony that she lasted the longest against the Darkness despite being the youngest

2 minutes ago, devious-Drunna said:

I hope it didn’t hurt this entry as I’m noticing at the moment Part 3 has under 300 views while Parts 4 & 5 having close to 1200 views. Which does suck as Part 3 was the one that broke me. 

I think most of us read it when it was the single big entry so we didn't necessarily go back to read the split version. For new readers or people who missed two months of notifications (??) I think the split works better. 

7 hours ago, Tirloque said:

 

 « I knew there were going to be problems when those gals tried to honey-honey together. 

 

                But, when try to explain this to other people, they don't believe me, no.  »

While you have mentioned the warnings of kissing each other’s pee pee, I just realized now that a lot of the bad things that occurred, most often it happened after girl on girl moments.

Gonna be more aware of this now and rewrite some of my original story plans

2 hours ago, SpyVsPie said:

 

I think most of us read it when it was the single big entry so we didn't necessarily go back to read the split version. For new readers or people who missed two months of notifications (??) I think the split works better.

Well I had a notification for that one, but the first line I read upon opening it was that it was a split version from a previous entry. So I thought this one was merely a reorganization of previous content, and didn't read it. Until now.

I wonder if some people didn't realize upon reading part 4-5 that they did miss something, and so read it midway or afterwards, and didn't dare comment for that reason.

3 hours ago, devious-Drunna said:

This entry (Part 3) was originally published with the second parts/next entry (Parts 4 and 5) and not the earlier ones. @SpyVsPie made a very good point in the next entry that parts 3, 4, and 5 were pretty meaty and heavy in story, content, and length for a single entry. I hope it didn’t hurt this entry as I’m noticing at the moment Part 3 has under 300 views while Parts 4 & 5 having close to 1200 views. Which does suck as Part 3 was the one that broke me.

Well, IMO you somehow cut the grass under your own fit by announcing this was a repost or previous entries. It was rather a restructuration of new content in fact.

And such content ! This might've been the entry where you best played with suspense, psychologics and sexual tension simultaneously. Really awesome work, near professional from that point of view. ?

Which is why I though it was more than due time to comment this precise entry.

3 hours ago, devious-Drunna said:

Whew....was kinda glad you did. You’ve been so supportive and helpful that after not hearing from you for over two months, I thought I had offended you in some way

I'm flattered, both from some people thinking that my contributions are helpful, and somehow noticing my relative absence of late. Spy was the one who made me realized I really had missed a lot of noteworthy entries, and I'm not done catching up.

Yet, I've got a lot of work IRL currently, and have a bit diversified my hobbies since I'm awaiting to fix my IRL before reinvesting myself into stories on a more thought-on form. But don't worry, I didn't forsake the storytellers, and do appreciate both the constant improvement of your work, and your kind attitude towards others.

Anyway, if any of you has that kind of doubts, feel free to PM me. I may answer slowly, but I do answer.

3 hours ago, devious-Drunna said:

Wanted to let you know that that I never thought of the idea of Jenny being corrupted by Neverine when she went through the portal. After you mentioned it a few chapters back, I thought it was a great idea to use it and make Neverine’s and Jenny’s simultaneous portal crossing the red herring for Jenny’s corruption.

Oh oh, most interesting !

It's funny how small things can inspire us sometimes. Even mutually reading our work and commenting it does. ^^

Anyway, this now places your story in a relatively unprecedented state, since the protagonist corruption now simultaneously gives her a potential « evil » role, while simultaneously constituting a hope for her to deal with Neverine (that's more developped in parts 4-5 though, which as I said I almost finished reading). Very interesting.

3 hours ago, devious-Drunna said:

The Turn of Jenny was a challenge to write  despite being planning as far back as Book 1.  I wanted each of the three to be taken differently. Originally, I planned for each to be taken in a different setting and situation, but I was hitting writing walls (one was a silent hill hallway type setting).

 

Then I remembered several people commenting that the three had distinct personalities despite being the same person. That’s when I eventually stumbled into having them taken through their personality types: 

-The middle Jenna taken quick as she easily fell into/embraced her own lusts with almost no resistance. 

-The older, more sexually experienced one, trying to resist but failing. 

-Finally, the youngest trying to trick and outsmart the Darkness with the irony that she lasted the longest against the Darkness despite being the youngest

The differences in resistance, but also in method between the three made the reader hope for victory somehow. And so was quite appreciable since the suspense was renewed.

2 hours ago, devious-Drunna said:

While you have mentioned the warnings of kissing each other’s pee pee, I just realized now that a lot of the bad things that occurred, most often it happened after girl on girl moments.

 

Gonna be more aware of this now and rewrite some of my original story plans

2 hours ago, devious-Drunna said:

While you have mentioned the warnings of kissing each other’s pee pee, I just realized now that a lot of the bad things that occurred, most often it happened after girl on girl moments.

 

Gonna be more aware of this now and rewrite some of my original story plans

 « That's very smart, yes.

                If your Jenna friend needs more expert advice, I'd be happy to give it.  »