Fantastic! ?

I would praise more, but I don't wanna spoil anything. ?

The ultimate LL Halloween special ?

I had a suspicion it was her, but holy shit.

Great work and happy Halloween!

A deliciously dark tale, perfectly suited for an adult Halloween indeed. ^^ Knowing your twisted sense of humor, I had my suspicions, but thought the creature was summoned. Kudos for the amazing photoshopping, the abdominal wounds (in particular the first one, shown under various angles), the remarkable tears, the clothed sex, the spider webs, and the transformations, all of those were excellent.  Also enjoyed the humor, and the references (to the Windhelm investigation in particular). As well as the quite refined male protagonists looks for once ; plus punctual but efficient use of comic layout. And of course, the staging. Excellent work ! ?

Malicia : « That story was very scary !

                Plus the inspector was very handsome.  What a waste, uh.  »

I got weird vibes from her immediately. Maybe a bit predictable, but daaammnnn it was still so good. SO gruesome and creepy! Fuck, Wanobii, I'm gonna have nightmares after that transformation scene O.o So scary, but also so funny! You have a knack for delivering the perfect amount of comic relief. It keeps the story enjoyable, without taking away the unnerve. Excellent work!

Good Amounts of Mystery, Horror, and Humor!  I really did get into the Climax of the story.  But then, unlike most of my imposter games in Among Us, the crew learned the vital information too late and it was game over.  It was a good Halloween Story!  ?Happy Halloween?

11 hours ago, donttouchmethere said:

Fantastic! ?

I would praise more, but I don't wanna spoil anything. ?

The ultimate LL Halloween special ?

Thanks, glad you enjoyed ?

9 hours ago, ther1pper said:

I had a suspicion it was her, but holy shit.

 

Great work and happy Halloween!

Thanks much!! 

7 hours ago, Tirloque said:

A deliciously dark tale, perfectly suited for an adult Halloween indeed. ^^ Knowing your twisted sense of humor, I had my suspicions, but thought the creature was summoned. Kudos for the amazing photoshopping, the abdominal wounds (in particular the first one, shown under various angles), the remarkable tears, the clothed sex, the spider webs, and the transformations, all of those were excellent.  Also enjoyed the humor, and the references (to the Windhelm investigation in particular). As well as the quite refined male protagonists looks for once ; plus punctual but efficient use of comic layout. And of course, the staging. Excellent work ! ?

 

Malicia : « That story was very scary !

 

                Plus the inspector was very handsome.  What a waste, uh.  »

Thanks Tir, always love to read your critique!!

3 hours ago, Collygon said:

I got weird vibes from her immediately. Maybe a bit predictable, but daaammnnn it was still so good. SO gruesome and creepy! Fuck, Wanobii, I'm gonna have nightmares after that transformation scene O.o So scary, but also so funny! You have a knack for delivering the perfect amount of comic relief. It keeps the story enjoyable, without taking away the unnerve. Excellent work!

Thanks Colly, 

I appreciate the 'predictable' feedback.

I thought so as well, but then, I knew the ending ? so it was hard to know how it would come across to a reader.

1 hour ago, djregs said:

Good Amounts of Mystery, Horror, and Humor!  I really did get into the Climax of the story.  But then, unlike most of my imposter games in Among Us, the crew learned the vital information too late and it was game over.  It was a good Halloween Story!  ?Happy Halloween?

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Inspector:  Flirty Girl is Sus.... Let's Skip Vote.   

 

Muahahha, good shit, thanks DJ ?

......need to .... pray more ... to the right gods ... to protect Nirn ..

thank you a sweet monster you created  , i think i stay at home at this time  ?

Nice Work, very creepy spider effects.  

Nice work on the spiderlady and love the angles you shot to make the movements feel more dynamic!

On 11/1/2020 at 1:26 PM, WANOBI12 said:

 

Thanks Colly, 

I appreciate the 'predictable' feedback.

I thought so as well, but then, I knew the ending ? so it was hard to know how it would come across to a reader.

 
I pegged her as either the killer or she’s set up to  be the red-herring (although you did toss one in later). But I think the established relationship between her and inspector was what raised alarm bells.  That she’s the only character besides inspector with modded clothing.
 

I don't understand...

Why You don't make Story Mod instead of those pic. ?...

I think its gonna be much better and easier :x...

idk about story... its not something WOW O_O OMFG AMAZING...

but its ok...

at least its not short like "4 pic and done"

but i would pref to play it than read it :x...

Excellent !

But predictable (for me at least ?)

Thanks a lot for that horror show, Wanobi! Not like I was planning on sleeping any time this week anyway ? ? Seriously, though, this story is great. Creepy, disgusting, disturbing and absolutely wonderful! I also suspected that something was wrong with the pretty, cheerful apple pie seller but I have to admit, when I saw her together with Halla I started having doubts. "Maybe it wasn't her at all, but the completely unassuming other girl instead?" ?

Loved the ending and especially the lullaby.  Sometimes writing such songs/poems can take longer than the rest of the dialogues and you did a marvelous job with it.

Thank you for the lovely (and terrifying) Halloween tale! ?

On 11/1/2020 at 11:34 AM, worik said:

......need to .... pray more ... to the right gods

Hey! My "god" has boobs too ?

On 11/1/2020 at 2:33 PM, wilson99 said:

thank you a sweet monster you created  , i think i stay at home at this time  ?

Thanks for the love Wilson ?

20 hours ago, Jayomms said:

Nice Work, very creepy spider effects.  

Thanks Jay ? Glad you like em!

18 hours ago, devious-Drunna said:

Nice work on the spiderlady and love the angles you shot to make the movements feel more dynamic

Thanks! Like you I'm sure, I have many rejects on the cutting room floor ?

18 hours ago, devious-Drunna said:

That she’s the only character besides inspector with modded clothing

That's a really good point, and something I never thought of ?

15 hours ago, God of Chaos said:

I don't understand...

 

Why You don't make Story Mod instead of those pic. ?...

I am old and thus almost totally computer illiterate.

I have no facebook, no apps on my phone, and no understanding of modding.

Fortunately for me, there are wonderful people out there who have made wonderful mods that a poser like me can use to make simple stories ?

That's all I got.

11 hours ago, Cema said:

Excellent !

 

But predictable (for me at least ?)

Agreed, but I hoped that by going overboard with the effects I could razzle dazzle my way out of it ?

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!!

6 hours ago, Devianna said:

Thanks a lot for that horror show, Wanobi! Not like I was planning on sleeping any time this week anyway ? ? Seriously, though, this story is great. Creepy, disgusting, disturbing and absolutely wonderful! I also suspected that something was wrong with the pretty, cheerful apple pie seller but I have to admit, when I saw her together with Halla I started having doubts. "Maybe it wasn't her at all, but the completely unassuming other girl instead?" ?

Loved the ending and especially the lullaby.  Sometimes writing such songs/poems can take longer than the rest of the dialogues and you did a marvelous job with it.

 

Thank you for the lovely (and terrifying) Halloween tale! ?

Thanks Dev, I actually had to look up rhyming words!

And I was like, "oh yeah!! Duh!"

On 11/4/2020 at 1:30 AM, WANOBI12 said:

Agreed, but I hoped that by going overboard with the effects I could razzle dazzle my way out of it ?

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!!

I had another idea to make it more surprising

Hu! Kudos! Perfectly done, I'm impressed! Your writing and editing is just on point ? I loved the scene where Whinnie is throwing an apple after the guard. The transformation was masterly done too. 5 out of 5 ?

On 11/7/2020 at 8:01 PM, Cema said:

 

I had another idea to make it more surprising

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

The story is the same until they find Halla's body. Again she's not dead and she's taken to Kinareth temple. Whinnie is brought back to dragon's reach and the inspector insists for her to stay in the main hall with 5 guards. He needs to do something and come back. When he comes back he's got a bag and drops the content on the table in the main hall. It looks like burnt flesh. Inspector reveals it's a burnt uterus he retrieved in whinnie's chimney. At the same time Halla reveals to the priest whinnie was the one who attacked her. Inspector explains to all the reason : she used to buy fertility potions to the alchemist but since it didn't work she resorted to daedra worshipping. Again, Inspector reveals he found evidences of Mephala worshipping in one of the room of her house. Whinnie claims she knows nothing of this but the evidences are too strong. Inspector casts a spell on her and the guards bring her to jail. Farengar and the priest of Arkay cast a protective spell on her cell.

 

Balgruuf decides on her execution in 2 days.

 

The next morning the inspector is ready to leave but can't help thinking he is missing something. He goes to the arkay priest again and to kynnareth temple but can't find a thing. Then in the afternoon he is stopped in the street by a little girl who is asking if the murderer of her mom will be killed. Inspector is suprised because none of the victims were married. Girl is called Katia and reveals her mom used to work at the bannered mare as a prostitute.

 

Inspector goes to talk with Farengar. If one of the victim was able to have children why killing so many? Farengar agrees that it is worth asking Whinnie what she has to say. They lift the spell on her cell and ask her questions. After much crying Whinnie reveals she indeed contacted Mephala but refused to do what Mephala asked for. It was only one month after that she discovered a jar on her table and the uterus that was inside. She burnt it and changed the locks on her house and installed a grid on the fireplace but other murders happened and jars kept appearing in her house. She also says she pushed Halla to the ground because something big jumped at them in the dark. Farengar says no one will believe this. Inspector is wondering.

 

Inspector goes back to dragonsreach and ask Baalgruf if there are double of the keys for Whiterun houses. Baalgruf says the guards are to keep a double of most keys at any time. Inspector goes to the barrack where the guards are having dinner. He is looking for the captain. They say the captain is never having diner with them, he is out patrolling.

 

Inspector leaves the building in a hurry and starts searching for the captain. It will be dawn soon. Then in a small street he hears a voice behind him "such curiosity ! You should have left when you could".

The captain is there, his helmet removed, his face half in the dark but you can see the grotesque shape of his mandibles and the globular eyes. He slashes at the Inspector and throws him to the ground. Inspector is bleeding and barely able to grip the mandibles which are trying to cut his neck.

- How did you guess? tell me.

- Even for a town girl, knowing all the in and out of the guards was difficult, you were the only one able to move freely in here. You were making the schedule. Besides the guards never saw your face and you had all the keys. Also Whinnie didn't need to kill so many girls since the prostitute organs should have worked.

- ... My face ... a gift from the great lady ! ... Good work inspector. Too bad it won't be remembered.

 

The captain starts pressing his mandibles against the Inspector neck when a huge fireball hits his head and sends him crashing on the wall a few meters away. "I hope I didn't do anything wrong?" says Farrengar

- Keep burning it don't stop !

- Oh ok !

The captain gets up but is sent flying once again by another giant fireball. His body crashes on a wall. Farengars unleash a torrent of flames until the body doesn't move anymore.

- you forgot your sword in my office inspector. I was looking for you !

- By the divines you saved my neck tonight Farengar !

- Tonight? It's already the day.

Inspector looks at the sky and sees the sun has set. Together with Farengar they grab the body and start running toward Dragonsreach as fast as possible.

 

Whinnie is freed and Inspector tells the end of the story to the people of dragonsreach. The captain was probably transformed into an abomination during a patrol outside and was sent to punish Whinnie. He was killing and delivering organs to her on the behalf of Mephala to torture her soul. Baalgruf says Whinnie has to leave the city nonetheless since for most people she is somehow responsible. Inspector asks her to come with him. They leave the city together.

 

 

 

It's really good!

But it has one fatal flaw for a quick WANOBI Lovers Lab Halloween story...

No BOOBS!!

Honestly I started doing stories here merely to show sex scenes, (and photoshop some money shots!!)

But at this point, I think I try to challenge myself to come up with a story that can do well enough on its own, but still have graphic sex in it!

It kills me to publish stuff without it, and I always try to follow with some over the top sex scene to make up for it!

While I wasn't super happy with the result of this "Murder/Mystery" I do feel it accomplished what I set out to do.

Thanks again for the amazing feedback! ?
 

On 11/7/2020 at 10:59 PM, Kin Tsuchi said:

Hu! Kudos! Perfectly done, I'm impressed! Your writing and editing is just on point ? I loved the scene where Whinnie is throwing an apple after the guard. The transformation was masterly done too. 5 out of 5 ?

Thanks much!!

Glad you enjoyed ?

Missed this one ?

I agree with some others that it was a bit easy to guess the "twist" but I think it's better to err on the side of setting something up and having it be easier to guess rather than not setting it up at all and having it just be sort of out of left field and not make any sense (also known as the Shamylyan effect. No I didn't spell it right. No, I don't care.) 

Amazing work with the photoshop, I think your best special effects to date! I can only imagine how tedious it must have been not just to composite all the images together to make the monster but to then keep it consistent between shots (particularly the extra eyes). That's a big reason I try to do stuff with nifs as much as I can, set it and forget it ?.

Seeing the imperial camp also reminded me how much I still want to see more of your Magistrate some day next time you come back from sabbatical ?