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R.I.P. - germanicus

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Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted

Good morning to all lovely and awesome people.

I've been reading you consolidation posts and I can't stop crying. Didn't know how much my father was known, respected and loved by you. Believe me when say that there wasn't a single day that he didn't share his experience and events from this community with me. I never seen him so exited about anything as he was with this community. Thank you again from the deep of my heart. Your kind words about him showed me that I wasn't wrong when saying to my friends that my father was the greatest example to me. I hope and pray I will not disappoint him.

 

I spent whole night in his room, laying on his bed, hugging his pillow. Couldn't sleep at all but was crying and crying. Even my girlfriend couldn't comfort me. Yes, he was a great man, and I'm not telling this just because he was my father but because he was always there for me even when I hurt him with, disobey him and did wrong. There wasn't a single day that he didn't hug me and say how much he loves me.

 

Last six months he was saying to me and my girlfriend how much he would love to have grandchildren. We were laughing rejecting his idea and I didn't know how much he was serious about it. Now I feel sorry that we couldn't fulfill his desire.

 

His funeral will be held today at 2.00 pm only for family. After that will have a gathering in his honor. When all is over, I will join you. I hope I'll be worth of his name and the reputation he had here. Thank you for accepting me. Although my father and I are very alike in all aspects of life I could never replace him and be a better man than him.

 

I'm going to try to get some sleep now since haven't ben sleeping at all. Must get some strength for his funeral.  

Lot of love and respect to all of you. See you later. When I come again to this forum I will log under his avatar so you might know. I decided to no to change anything from his personal info page. I just can't. I want to try to "walk in my father's shoes" and live with him through his avatar in this community.

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Extraterrestrial

Extraterrestrial

Posted
Posted

@Adam23 - reading your post I started to cry too. I do not know how is to lost parent since mine are still alive and seeing how deep you were connected to your father makes me "jealous". I wish I would have such relationship with my parents.

Yes, you are welcome to this community and I'm sure you'll do a great job in representing your father. Unfortunately, I'm going to work in couple of hours and will be absent for few days due to my job obligations. But I will be back and happy to see "germanicus replied to this topic" in all threads.

Wish you strenght and peace in this sad day.

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DarkAuron

DarkAuron

Posted
Posted

@Adam: There is no need to try to replace germanicus, it just wouldn't fit. i think we are all happy, that there will be someone, who carry on his heritage and he didn't just vanished away without anyone knowing what happened.

Thank you again for informing us all and i hope the funerall will be peaceful. We are looking forward to welcome you here 

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ratrace

ratrace

Posted
Posted

I only had a short but very nice pn chat with him. He was very kind and we got along quite fine. He always wanted to see my country (Germany) again in his life. I'm sorry that he couldn't and I'm sorry for your loss.

 

Shit, I thought he was still young. Yesterday I read about his departure from LoversLab. And today about his death. I feel sad and confused.

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bahamut2119

bahamut2119

Posted
Posted

Good morning to all lovely and awesome people.

I've been reading you consolidation posts and I can't stop crying. Didn't know how much my father was known, respected and loved by you. Believe me when say that there wasn't a single day that he didn't share his experience and events from this community with me. I never seen him so exited about anything as he was with this community. Thank you again from the deep of my heart. Your kind words about him showed me that I wasn't wrong when saying to my friends that my father was the greatest example to me. I hope and pray I will not disappoint him.

 

I spent whole night in his room, laying on his bed, hugging his pillow. Couldn't sleep at all but was crying and crying. Even my girlfriend couldn't comfort me. Yes, he was a great man, and I'm not telling this just because he was my father but because he was always there for me even when I hurt him with, disobey him and did wrong. There wasn't a single day that he didn't hug me and say how much he loves me.

 

Last six months he was saying to me and my girlfriend how much he would love to have grandchildren. We were laughing rejecting his idea and I didn't know how much he was serious about it. Now I feel sorry that we couldn't fulfill his desire.

 

His funeral will be held today at 2.00 pm only for family. After that will have a gathering in his honor. When all is over, I will join you. I hope I'll be worth of his name and the reputation he had here. Thank you for accepting me. Although my father and I are very alike in all aspects of life I could never replace him and be a better man than him.

 

I'm going to try to get some sleep now since haven't ben sleeping at all. Must get some strength for his funeral.  

Lot of love and respect to all of you. See you later. When I come again to this forum I will log under his avatar so you might know. I decided to no to change anything from his personal info page. I just can't. I want to try to "walk in my father's shoes" and live with him through his avatar in this community.

I also wish I had that kinda relationship with my father I live with him but other than when we work together we cant stand being in each others presence not always but way to often we yell at each other we both have anger management problems. Even when I was in basic training for the army we still would on occasion yell at each other altho the 600+ mile difference did ease things. My mother and I are close were more like best friends than mother/son at times and it also is part of the reason my dad and I don't get along often but its because of her mostly we have yet to get in a real fight not that ill ever really want to hit him anyways he is my dad and ill never get another so I try.

 

I do know what your going though sorta 2 years ago I lost my dads father we weren't close when i was going up but after he fell ill (black lung) we did everything together I didn't leave my house for 3 days after. A week after on of my moms brothers had a wedding we were told we didnt have to go but we all went when my uncle asked how i was doing I broke down again I still do at times when I look at photos of him or think of him. Also when I was in advance training on of my dads brothers past away we were really close hes the reason I joined the army in the first place. I had a cellphone but it was dead and the charger was busted I could power it up and check voice mails I did just that. My mom had called while I was asleep my classes were from 12am-6am. When I got the message I bolted to the phone room barely holding together when I got in touch with my mom I broke down the drill sergeant on duty could hear me. I tend to be a very emotional guy guess its the bipolar but it does take something like what happened to you. 

 

I wish in times like this skyrim was a mmo we could maybe "hold" a funeral service i've seen and been part of things like that before in mmo's. I play dungeons and dragons online to a few years ago we held a wedding ceremony on our server for a couple who met in game,.

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darkminxi

darkminxi

Posted
Posted

I'm so sorry to hear about your Father, Adam23.

My thoughts are with you, specially today.

 

Germanicus always made me smile with his posts and he teased me one time and made me laugh so much.

 

But today I cry with you, as I know many other will be too.

He influenced many folks lives in such a positive way.

 

This world has lost a truly great man.

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Snazzishoez

Snazzishoez

Posted
Posted

I'm very sad to hear this.  I did not know your father, but I remember seeing his avatar often with kind words to fellow users in this community.  I was recently, yesterday, on another site that also noticed the news of your father's untimely departure.  He obviously had an impact on many.  Again, I didn't know your father, but it's nice people like him that make the world a better place and enjoyable to live.  I can see you and your father were close and so he will live on in you.  He'll be missed.  May he rest in peace.

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Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted

Dear friends,

 

thank you very much for great words of encouragement, support and love you expressed to me and my father. You are so wonderful. I really haven't had idea how amazing is this community. You really touched my heart.

 

My father's funeral went well. It was short, 30 minutes. We all said something about him and recalled his best moments in our life. But we were all very shocked and emotionally stressed. Seeing my father in casket before it was closed and placed to ground shaken us all. We couldn't hold our grief so we moaned and cried aloud. Before they closed the casket, I gave him my last good bye kiss. After the funeral, we went to our place where many friends came that place was overcrowded. We all cried and laugh when remembering him being goofy or when sharing anecdotes from his life. Quests and mum and sister left half hour ago and I'm with my girlfriend typing from my father's computer.

 

Again, you are wonderful community and I will never forget your kindness and gesture you showed to me. I'm closing this thread with special thanks to yui and the great pictures he made for my father. Yui, I love you man. I'm sure my father would love them if can see them. I do too.

 

P.S. I'm amazed and touched with the great support posts by the members who didn't know my father. Thank you.

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Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted

Dear friends,

please forgive me for bringing up the theme about my father again. It is the last time, I promise.

By this post I want to share some short overviews about me and my father. My next login will be under his avatar. Thank you for accepting me.

 

About me:

 

 

First, let me apologize for my English since is not my native language, and I apologize for grammar and typing mistakes in further text. I speak Croatian.

About me: My name is Mathias (Matthew in English) and I'm almost 23 (my birthday will be next month). I graduated 4 years ago as the professional photographer but never worked in my profession since there is no job for photographers in my country. I'm working in the restaurant as a weather. I have a girlfriend and we are in serious relationship. We lived with my father until he died and now will stay in that place.

 

Why did I log as Adam23 and not as Mathias or any other more appropriate nickname that will connect me to germanicus, my father? Well, when  my grandfather was alive, he called my dad Adam because, as he use to tell him laughing: "Dammit son, you look like my older brother Adam. You have same body configuration, walk, face, hair, talk ... everything. When I look at you I see him and that makes me wander if I'm your true father...(laugh)" So although my father's name was Michael (as all males from my father side) he called him Adam. Some kids, and later some folks accepted that and since then, many friends who knew him since his childhood called him Adam.

 

Now, why 23? When my grandparents divorced (I never met any of them because they died before I was born), my father ended up in orphanage at the age of 5 or 6. The very first day in the orphanage they replace his name with number 23. So, nobody called him Michael but 23, except the kids from orphanage. They called him Adam since all of them had nicknames and were addressing each other that way. He wear that number name until he was released from orphanage when he was 18-19.

The orphanage was more like a prison then children home. The teachers in the orphanage were very rude to the children. They were physically abused (being beaten daily), forced to work hard with limited time or not time at all for having fun and play. Their day started at 4.00 am and finished at 9 pm.  They weren't allowed to play with other kids, those who weren't in the orphanage. Once they came from the school, they had to work various jobs. School kids and teachers also didn't like kids from orphanage. Most of the time they were mean to them and punished them for slightest error. Later, after I'm born and grew to certain age, my father told me why he always use the number 23. It's because he learned the value of hard work and to treasure small moments and enjoy in small things. Therefore Adam and number 23 seemed appropriate nick for login. thanks to him, I learned to respect life and the value of hard work although my father never forced me to anything.

 

Now, I'm much like my father. I love to make friendships, love to drink coffee, play RPGs, to have fun and to laugh, listen to rock music, being romantic, but also, love sex a lot. All kind of sex, but oral and anal are my favourite. (I guess I inherited most of my father's genes). I also love high, skinny, small breasts, long legged tinny butt girls. As a matter of fact, my present girlfriend is just as I described. So, I will not try to imitate or copy my father, but to continue in his spirit of friendship attitude, not accusing or attacking anyone. It's not my style thanks to my father who was a great example to me how to be rather supportive then destructive. He's all life regret was that he forgot German language. Since he didn't speak German, he asked me to learn it and I promised I will. Already attending some classes for German.

 

 

 

About my father, germanicus

 

 

My father had very difficult life. Born 1964 in Germany never met his mother. His parents divorced when he was born. Until his age of 1, he grew with his ants and my grandfather until he moved to Croatia (1965-1966) and met a lady that he lived in warlock with. They lived in poverty. After few years they split. My step grand mother ended up in mental institution and a grandfather became an alcoholic mostly living on the streets. So my father ended up in orphanage (1968-1969). He's been there until was 18. After he finished high school (1983) he applied and was received at college for psychology and philosophy. Then he had one year of break due to military service that was obligated by the law. He met my mother there, they fall in love and after a year they married. Within six months his father died and then his step mother. After 4 years of studying he went next 2 years in master college in the same area (graduated 1988 at college and 1990 at master degree). All 6 years he work hard for his education since he hadn't had any scholarship. He worked various heavy jobs and studying in the same time. He learned to speak English during his college time and he learned to play guitar. By the time, he was so good that he became known but not famous musician and composer.

 

After one year of marriage, (still being on the college) my older sister was born (1987). Something went wrong and my sister got cerebral palsy, deafness and mental retardness. My father loved her as she was normal. Never mistreated her but protected her from bullies and rappers, always being very gentle to her. After the master college my father work with troubled youth and drug addicts for 15 years. He also establish society for of amateur musicians and guitar school free of charge for all who want to learn to play and develop his/her talents. He also gave private instructions for small fee. When civil war came to our country, my father work as the psychologist and spiritual advisor among refuges in Austria,  Germany, Croatia and some other European countries. He established regional Humanitarian organization who fed and sheltered refugees. He also worked some time for UNPROFOR as a clerk.

 

After the war, he continued to work with troubled youth and drug addicts, but also as quest teacher on some German colleges teaching about marriage, sexuality, pre marital relationships and he worked as marriage councillor. I was born in 1993 in Zagreb, Croatian capital.  My father always did best for us although he was mostly absent due to his work. 2008, he finished IT school and became licensed master for computers. He also translated many books, articles and songs into Croatian. Six years ago he became very ill. He got very rare sickness that even medicine doesn't have a name for it. That sickness constantly attacked his immunity, destroying his good blood cells, causing constant body pains and occasional skin changes. It also made him exhausted, sleepless, allergic to the Sun and unable to be mentally and physically active as he was before. but being strong in the spirit he played sport (running, soccer, cycling, fitness and similar). As the time passed his physical abilities were reduced. Last several months (6) he got diabetes. Although he had some period of depression, most of his life he was cheerful, always laughing and enjoy in company of his  friends. When became unable to work any more, my mother couldn't take that pressure and she left him. Since my father needed a help and someone who will take care for him when the sickens will progress or had more aggressive attacking periods, I choose to stay with him while my mother moved away with my sister who also needs constant care.

My father never  talked to me about how hard and painful it is for him unless I insisted. He didn't want to make me worry.  Few days ago, his sickness progressed to a new stage and he told me that he doesn't feel well and that he has a feeling he's gonna die. I didn't accept it saying to him that he speak nonsense and that all will be fine. He instructed me all he could about his LL account and expressed his desire for me to take his place. He told me that he informed LL community about his departure and that he deleted all his posts (blogs), Imgur and Tumblr accounts. When asked him why did he do it, he said that by doing it he was hoping that LL community will forget him faster and easer. But, at the end, he told me that it was mistake and how much he loves LL community. Then he asked me to continue where he stopped and pledged me to be even better then him. That night my father died in sleep. I was in my room with my girlfriend when it happened. Since I knew that he will rarely call me for help, I used to knock on the  door of his room to check upon him. If all was OK he will reply to me. This time there wasn't reply. So I enter into his room seeing him sleeping but something told me to cheek his breading. So I did it and there wasn't a pulse. I was shocked. I tamed his face calling his name but there wasn't reply. Then I realized he died. I was heartbroken. ..... He died and then I realized that he told me he would, but I didn't take him seriously and I didn't expected it so soon (within 24 hours)....

 

My father wasn't perfect, but his kindness, warmth, love, ability to quickly forgive and to forget, compassion for others, open heart, dignity and honesty covered all his mistakes and errors. He was never yelling at me, never beat me, never call me names and critized me for misdoings and my errors. He always approached me with gentleness and through the talk he pointed me to the source of my problem and helped me in finding the way out. When I didn't' listen to his words, he still didn't press on me, but I could see that he is sad. Seeing him sad was worst then being beaten for me. That's why I love my father and will try to keep walking the same path as he walked.

 

 

 

Well, here I am. Thank you for accepting me. I hope you'll see me as your friend too.

 

At the end, I need two small favors: can somebody tell me what was the names of his blogs so I can continue his work as well I understood he had a signature, picture in signature. Can someone help me to restore it? Thank you.

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Benmc20

Benmc20

Posted
Posted

@Adam23 > Sorry for your loss, i know actually this situation when you have lost one of your family's member. It has happened to me at the begining of this very year and, well, that hurts. Badly. Take care of yourself and ... try to think of him only with your best moments together.

 

Rest in peade germanicus.

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