Corrupt a Wish

[nyanyanyanyan]

granted you get a copy of oblivion that doesn't crash every ten minutes...oh and it doesn't support mods have fun

 

i wish i didn't have problems sleeping..

 

You now have no problems sleeping assuming you have sex immediately prior to sleeping. However, you can only have sex at near light-speeds. Heres a convenient link as to what would happen everytime you have sex at relativistic speeds

 

http://johnmm.bol.ucla.edu/sexualphysics/procreation.htm

 

I wish a a working copy of oblivion that doesnt crash ever, wont un-install itself, wont become un-responsive, playable by the user, and supports any mod(s).

[Searinglich]

Granted, but as soon as you start playing your computer explodes at the sheer absurdity of a perfect copy of oblivion.

 

I wish I had the technical and mechanical expertise to build a fully operational machine gun turret from spare parts or scrap metal.

[rodvi]

granted but it only works on fallout

 

i wish for unlimited wishes

[Hitman69]

granted but it only works on fallout

 

i wish for unlimited wishes

 

Granted, but you can only spend them on wishes which would end up getting yourself killed.

 

I wish I could also decrease local gravity, wherever I want, to compliment my current set of powers. (Increasing gravity, changing materials, human-torch-ish powers, telepathy and telekinesis)

Note that I do not wish to lose free will in the process.

[nyanyanyanyan]

granted but it only works on fallout

 

i wish for unlimited wishes

 

Granted' date=' but you can only spend them on wishes which would end up getting yourself killed.

 

I wish I could also decrease local gravity, wherever I want, to compliment my current set of powers. (Increasing gravity, changing materials, human-torch-ish powers, telepathy and telekinesis)

Note that I do not wish to lose free will in the process.

[/quote']

 

Granted, everytime you decrease gravity, the area along with all surrounding matter excluding yourself becomes completely zero gravity, absolute inertia-less, and have absolutely zero velocity relative to the universal center/origin. This causes every planet you step foot on to become free from their orbit and motionless as the entire galaxy around it rockets past you at near light speeds.

 

However as you arnt affected by this, you still maintain your inertia and gravity and thus remain in orbit around your local sun flying away from the planet you just stepped on. Enjoy breathing nothing for hours

 

I wish for a perfect copy of oblivion without causing reality to explode and implode at the same time.

[Searinglich]

Granted, but as you have the only perfect copy of oblivion, thousands of avid, bloodthirsty game collectors learn of it and pursue you for the rest of your life.

 

I wish I was immune to diseases, viruses, and any other form of malignant bacteria.

[Hitman69]

Granted' date=' but as you have the only perfect copy of oblivion, thousands of avid, bloodthirsty game collectors learn of it and pursue you for the rest of your life.

 

I wish I was immune to diseases, viruses, and any other form of malignant bacteria.

[/quote']

 

Granted, however, cosmic balance made it so that you're now followed by a giant, who only want's to stomp your head in.

 

I wish for a piece of cheese.

[mer_frye]

Granted, but it's moldy and green and... and ew, what is that?!

 

I wish I could sing. (And that I had never seen that piece of cheese.)

[leddis3]

Granted' date=' but it's moldy and green and... and ew, what is [i']that[/i]?!

 

I wish I could sing. (And that I had never seen that piece of cheese.)

 

Granted, but having never seen that piece of cheese it becomes all you can think about. What did the cheese look like? What type of cheese was it?

In the end it is all you can sing about. You attempt to establish a singing career but your songs about about the cheese you never saw are dismissed as purile garbage by Simon Cowell, shattering your hopes for all time.

 

I wish I could understand Japanese.

[LilDevil]

I wish I could understand Japanese.

 

Granted, but now you don't understand English.

 

I wish for $700 US dollars so I can upgrade my gaming rig.

[Searinglich]

Granted, 700 dollars worth of U.S. money falls on your head in a safe that weighs two tons.

 

I wish my body no longer required sleep.

[tacomarine]

granted, your body gets an infinate dose caffine patch , thus rendering you unablle to sleep but making you extreamly tired nontheless.

 

i wish that i took over the world. and lived.

[Hitman69]

granted' date=' your body gets an infinate dose caffine patch , thus rendering you unablle to sleep but making you extreamly tired nontheless.

 

i wish that i took over the world. and lived.

[/quote']

Granted. You take over the world, and live to tell the tale.

Now you're responsible for everyone. And guess what? Bearing the weight of the world (

) isn't what it's cracked up to be.

 

I wish for rocket-pants.

[polluxval]

granted. but after a few minutes they exploded leaving only ur shoes. but do not worry, ull be remembered just like that chinese emperor that tried to fly sitted on a chair full of rockets.

 

i wish this thread get closed.

[Hitman69]

Granted, however, Ashal decides to re-open it.

 

I wish for a teleporter.

[Searinglich]

Granted, however the device is not calibrated to earth's 24-hour days, so when you use it you are always sent two weeks into the future in the place where you set it to teleport you.

 

I wish valve would release episode 3.

[Hitman69]

Granted, they release episode 3. However, it wasn't finished yet, so the plot is lacking, the placeholder meshes are not yet replaced by their finished counterparts, and the textures for what is finished look like crap.

Edit: Oh yeah, and it's buggy as hell.

 

I wish for time-traveling powers, without sacrificing myself, my family, my friends, my teleporter, or my current set of powers. (just to remind you: Changing material of my body, bursting into flames without getting hurt, increasing and decreasing local gravity, telekinesis and telepathy)

[Searinglich]

Granted, however you can only travel backwards in time, which would leave you no memory of ever having time traveling powers.

 

I wish every string-theorist finally got their pieces of string.

[polluxval]

granted, once the string-theory get all its pieces of strings, humans begin to develope machines to open new dimensions, unluckily the fourth dimension, wich is part of the string-theory, ended up to be the gates of hell. doom-like monsters take all over the earth and u perished during the holocoust from a missile fired by a cyber-demon.

 

 

i wish all the advertisements from web are removed for all eternity.

 

 

[nyanyanyanyan]

granted' date=' once the string-theory get all its pieces of strings, humans begin to develope machines to open new dimensions, unluckily the fourth dimension, wich is part of the string-theory, ended up to be the gates of hell. doom-like monsters take all over the earth and u perished during the holocoust from a missile fired by a cyber-demon.

 

[img']http://www.cslab.ntua.gr/~phib/images/doom/anim/cybr1.gif[/img]

 

i wish all the advertisements from web are removed for all eternity.

 

 

 

since advertisements are the majority of most websites profits to keep the websites running, 99.99% of all websites available on the internet are now down. all that remains is google, which isnt useful anymore as there are no longer any websites to search for.

 

i wish for the ability to reach through my monitor and strangle annoying assholes on the internets.

[Hitman69]

Granted, however, the first asshole you wanted to strangle pulls you completely through your monitor, and the internet, turns out to be a crazed war-veteran, with a massive gun-selection. Have fun.

 

I wish for my very own quantum-computer, with an OS that is Linux-level secure, and mac-level user-friendly (without the nagging for updates and their EULAs), while also capable of playing any game I want, independent of the original device it was made for.

[polluxval]

granted. but a permanent EMP showckwave appears on the surface of earth by mysterious circumstances and all electricity ceased to exist for all eternity, getting us back to the stone age.

 

i wish im able to move my soul to another living being by touching it or moving my soul over the air (exactly like in the movie FALLEN - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119099/ ), keeping all my memories and gaining all the experience of the new host and getting full control over the new possessed body plus I wish my soul its undestructible and unable to be captured by any mean, not like the demon on the movie.

[nyanyanyanyan]

granted. but a permanent EMP showckwave appears on the surface of earth by mysterious circumstances and all electricity ceased to exist for all eternity' date=' getting us back to the stone age.

 

i wish im able to move my soul to another living being by touching it or moving my soul over the air (exactly like in the movie FALLEN - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119099/ ), keeping all my memories and gaining all the experience of the new host and getting full control over the new possessed body plus I wish my soul its undestructible and unable to be captured by any mean, not like the demon on the movie.

[/quote']

 

granted, but you accidentally transfer your soul to someone in a persistent vegetative state and the family finally decides to pull the plug.

 

i wish all the internet trolls would all die a horrible death and all future internet trolls would be magically aborted.

[Vyrce]

 

Granted. But due to the magical nature of the abortions they all end up as jpegs on your HDD.

 

 

 

I wish i was a watermelon.

[Hitman69]

Granted, however, said watermelon was used as ammo for a demonstration of a model of a trebuchet.

 

I wish more people posted in this thread, without endangering the existence of other threads.