Quitting a Habit- How do You do It?

[KoolHndLuke]

 Smoking is the easy assumption I guess when bringing up a subject like this. I do smoke and have ever since I was a teen and really have no intention of trying to quit. That's not to say that I haven't tried in the past with the patches, gum, and others because I was worried about my health for the "future". Now I don't give a fuck because I realize that we are all going to die one way or another and I still enjoy having a smoke- especially after a good meal or sex.

 

So the question is simple; What habits do you have or have had and have quit or would like to quit? And what have you tried so far or what worked for you?

[myuhinny]

I quit smoking. Used those lozenge ones. Bought 2 boxes read the directions and started reading what they think you should do and decided that they are just as bad as the smoking as they want to stretch it out for as long as they can for whatever sucker they can get. I went through one box by the time I was close to being empty I started weaning back from them till the last one and I was done and never did use the 2nd box. Been 4 or so years now.
 

[KoolHndLuke]

59 minutes ago, myuhinny said:

I quit smoking. Used those lozenge ones. Bought 2 boxes read the directions and started reading what they think you should do and decided that they are just as bad as the smoking as they want to stretch it out for as long as they can for whatever sucker they can get. I went through one box by the time I was close to being empty I started weaning back from them till the last one and I was done and never did use the 2nd box. Been 4 or so years now.
 

Would you say that your health seems better? I mean aside from having a bit more stamina? I know that sounds like a stupid thing to ask, but my gramps smoked up until he was about 90 or so before he finally quit.

 

I'm not a heavy smoker myself. From my experience and studies, it's the "side smoke" that really wrecks your lungs. I smoke the kind of cigs that go out after a minute and it really seems to make a difference.

[Gameplayer]

Its a lot easier to start new habits than break old ones.

 

You want stamina and strength go to the gym.

Maybe you wont have time to do the other things that your trying to break yourself from.

 

Exercise helps, met a lot of runners that were former smokers.

Weight lifting actually helps with anger and aggression, gives a focus...Also you get to look better/stronger.

If you find yourself in a situation where you need to be aggressive well it helps.

[myuhinny]

I still move around slow but that's from the weight of all the money weighting me down from not buying smokes every day.?

 

I think one of the things you notice is the breathing gets better and you do have more energy and all your clothes start to smell better. Health is better. I use to smoke full flavor 100's as lights are a joke and make you smoke more. Also smoked some cigars at times. 

[KoolHndLuke]

42 minutes ago, Gameplayer said:

You want stamina and strength go to the gym

You can put together a pretty good exercise routine in your home. I used to do crunches, push-ups, jog and lift free weights twice a day for about an hour. It made a huge difference in my stamina and strength. It's hard to keep that up though I found because it takes motivation or dedication. I lost my motivation and didn't have enough dedication to continue. Why can't we become addicted to things that are "good" for us (I mean other than sex) like spinach or some shit? Everything I love is bad for me!! 

[Pauduan]

I quit smoking because I wanted to. It's really as simple as that. I told myself that it was because of money, or health, and it never worked. I gave up only once I realised how badly I stank to others. It took me ten days, and I simply stopped thinking I ever wanted to smoke at all. That was the key - I did use a pill but stopped it a third of the way in.

 

Been clean 20 years. Not a puff since, not that I ever want one again.

 

I also gave up drinking earlier exactly the same way - wasn't happy with impaired judgement and poor decision-making after a night out, so I decided to sober up. That's been 21 years now.

 

LL, now that's tough to quit.

[worik]

5 hours ago, KoolHndLuke said:

What habits do you have or have had and have quit or would like to quit? And what have you tried so far or what worked for you?

Not a single habit, but generally unhealthy or irresponsible living.

Step 1. I decided that I will change

Step 2. did it with a delay of about 6 months

 

Step 2 is easy if you have someone with you, someone who you look upon and who's opinion is highly valuable, and someone who raises the bar. Each day a little higher.

I had that.

[kapete]

If you smoke, drink, eat trash and totally ignore your health you have to think if you're really ok being physically complete wreck at age 40 and maybe in grave at 50? Its childish to think you're immortal and cool guys don't care about health. Think if do you really love that bad habit that much or maybe its just something you're too used to do.

 

Instead of thinking "this is the last cigarette i ever smoke" think "this is first cigarette that i don't smoke". It took me whole 10 years to turn my life around from disgusting slob to quite healthy athletic guy. That kind of life change can be done overnight but realistically its long process. Exercise can be very helpful to deal with addictions, you just have to find that kind of exercise that suits you. It might be not always fun and easy but it can be very very rewarding.

 

 

 

 

[flutie]

3 hours ago, Pauduan said:

I quit smoking because I wanted to. It's really as simple as that. I told myself that it was because of money, or health, and it never worked. I gave up only once I realised how badly I stank to others. It took me ten days, and I simply stopped thinking I ever wanted to smoke at all. That was the key - I did use a pill but stopped it a third of the way in.

 

Been clean 20 years. Not a puff since, not that I ever want one again.

 

I also gave up drinking earlier exactly the same way - wasn't happy with impaired judgement and poor decision-making after a night out, so I decided to sober up. That's been 21 years now.

 

LL, now that's tough to quit.

wish it was that easy, that 10 days, what was it like  or ?

[V The Heretic]

Well, I had two bad habits. One of them is Alcoholism and another was cocaine addiction. It was to the point where I actually OD'd on cocaine. Was getting drunk, not paying attention, etc. I remember a strong feeling of nausea before everything went black. I woke up in the hospital and a doctor telling me I had OD'd.

What caused me to change, reality check. Since that day, I have been sober. Alcohol, I toned back a lot and only drink on occasion for the taste and not the buzz. Strong mental willpower is key to fighting some habits and addictions. In this case, alcohol and cocaine I repeatedly told myself every morning that I didn't need it. No matter how shitty I felt. (Trust me, withdrawals suck.) "I want it, but I don't need it." After a while, the my body stopped withdrawing and was still geared towards wanting it. Even though I did attend rehab, I feel it was more myself, didn't need the reinforcement because of course, the reality check that hit me was the "game changer." (Wasn't ready to die, etc.)

I still get urges every once in a while for alcohol, especially when it comes to high stress situations. (Alcoholism runs in my family, which is a handicap.) But, even the people around me can attest that I tell myself I want it, but don't need it and continue about my day.

But, that is what worked for me, won't work for some.

[Pork Type]

I'm also a long time smoker, but I really don't do it that much anymore, unless I've partaken of the buds of my sister's weed garden. I can go for days without either, but it's just more fun to partake.

 

What's been most impactful? The elimination of stress from my life. I'm a caregiver to my sole remaining, 86 year old parent. I don't have to struggle with many other people, ethical quandaries associated with working for a soulless corporation, or any of that stuff.

 

I'm actually privileged as hell. I still drink too much. There are holes in my life that I still try to fill with ephemeral bullshit. But I've gotten better, I think.

[kmaaier]

Getting a heart attack on my 54 age will let me realize that I want to live a while longer.

At that moment I realized I wanted to see my grandchildren, now I am very happy to see that the oldest grandson already can walk.

So I quit smoking after 39 years, but quit smoking was the most easy part of my life change. To stop with sugar is a bigger problem. They put it everywhere because it is one of the cheapest products, and with some chemicals it can replace almost all natural products. 

[goaway]

Unless you want to quit an addictive habit by "hitting rock bottom" as the expression goes, the key is to have the right mindset about quitting.

 

Don't even consider that it will be something you can say "I quit, this is the last one ever."  This won't work.  Eventually the part of your brain that generates the stimulus that causes you to seek out this reward will become strong enough that you will slip and give in. 

 

If you build yourself a cold turkey mindset you are going to be a lot more emotionally unstable when you do slip up, because then it becomes a matter of lacking the willpower to accomplish your goal.  Once this happens, it becomes very easy to rationalize the pattern as though you have failed, you can't do it, etc. so that little slipup ends up becoming a full blown backslide.

 

What lets people actually change these habits and overcome an addiction is to keep in mind that they will eventually fuck up, and that doesn't mean they can't do it.

 

This is part of why 12-step programs are actually somewhat effective.  Not so much the "help from a higher power" idea that is ingrained into the program, but the capacity for self-forgiveness that goes along with that set of beliefs.  Shame is a very destructive force and I believe a lot of people get themselves into a cycle they have a hard time breaking simply because of the mental loophole the brain uses to justify the behavioral reward involved. 

 

The reasoning is very consistent amongst people who are struggling with addictions: if you slip up and have a cigarette, then somehow you have "failed" to quit smoking, and if you have already failed, if you already fucked up this life change you tried to make, what difference does it make if you have one more?

 

A far better way to look at it is to look at the big picture.  Say you're an alcoholic, and you try very hard to stop drinking completely, but after 6 months you slip and buy a six pack of beer.  While it is easy to look at this in terms of: you could only go 6 months without drinking, a healthier and more effective mindset is to view it as progress, that in 6 months you have only had six beers.  If you have been drinking a dozen beers a night for the last 10 years, this is a considerable improvement, and progress towards your goal, not a breaking point that caused you to fail.

 

This actually goes for any sort of life-change, not just destructive or addictive ones.  If you want to lose weight, get in shape, etc. you are eventually going to fall short of this life change for the deceptively simple reason that the brain does not re-wire itself overnight.  You have to undo weeks, months, or even years of neural connections that respond a certain way to certain stimulus. 

 

Because of how neuro-transmitter based signaling works, the longer you go without receiving a stimulus, the stronger the feedback it generates.  Dopamine systems are very adaptive for this reason; you produce a weaker response every time you get the same signal in a short period of time, but you build a stronger and stronger response to very weak signals if a cluster of neurons that has been active for a long time suddenly stops recieving input.  In the case of alcoholism or nicotine, eventually the mere *thought* of smoking a cigarette produces such a powerful signal that it takes a considerable amount of inhibitory neuronal feedback to block the behavior connected to it.

 

Now, in the case of someone who has hit "rock-bottom" they have undergone a negative experience so powerful that they can generate this inhibitory feedback, the memory of whatever traumatic low-point helps to produce the inhibitory counter-signal, that turns a "no, I probably shouldn't" into a high volume "NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT, NEVER AGAIN."

 

If it were me, I would prefer to quit something more gradually, keeping in mind that I will eventually take a step backwards along this path, and that it doesn't mean that I should stop trying.  This seems preferable, because the alternative is having to experience a situation so unpleasant that it stays deeply etched into your brain's decision making circuits for the rest of your life.  Even worse if that "rock-bottom" also includes a lifelong health problem, like finding out you have lung cancer.

[Pork Type]

3 minutes ago, kmaaier said:

Getting a heart attack on my 54 age will let me realize that I want to live a while longer.

At that moment I realized I wanted to see my grandchildren, now I am very happy to see that the oldest grandson already can walk.

So I quit smoking after 39 years, but quit smoking was the most easy part of my life change. To stop with sugar is a bigger problem. They put it everywhere because it is one of the cheapest products, and with some chemicals it can replace almost all natural products. 

>sugar

 

The subject of my care is type 2 diabetic (a lifetime of devouring candy corn and Jordan almonds will do that to you) so I'm hyper aware of sugar content when I go shopping. I'll allow a certain amount of starch, but actual sugar is Verboten. I encourage the consumption of nuts, meats and cheeses as snacks.

 

And, it suits ME fine. I don't miss sugary stuff. There are other, more intriguing tastes in the world.

[Pauduan]

2 hours ago, flutie said:

wish it was that easy, that 10 days, what was it like  or ?

No not really. Humans are capable of basically anything, it's just we don't have the right starting point. Once we get perspective, anything is easy. I lost my father a few weeks ago to cancer caused by excess blood glucose, alcohol and nicotine but I had quit long before we even heard of a disease like that, and he drank till the day before he was admitted for surgery, that was six months ago. Fear of death/ill-health is usually very poor motivation to discontinue a habit and rarely works except for those who actually undergo such an event, and in Dad's case it was too late to do anything.

 

To be totally clear, my present lifestyle may be devoid of nicotine, caffeine. alcohol and I don't like sugar - but that still doesn't mean I'm healthy or anything. There's still tons of bad habits consisting of bacon, burgers and a sedentary lifestyle (which is a LOT more sedentary after I started visiting LL), else I really wouldn't have much to live for.

 

To the smoking thing - I basically used the substitution technique - every time you think you want a smoke, have a glass of water instead. It flushes out the toxins and calms the urge for a bit. You do pee a lot (I was 20 cigs a day plus my normal water intake so my bladder was always full). and it took about two months for the urges to stop. I think my kidneys texted my brain to stop that crap.

[spoonsinger]

Being skint, (and not being a nefarious ne'er-do-well), is actually a very good way of breaking the habit. Depending on you local ciggy cost you can live quite well, (food wise), for a couple of weeks for the price of a packet of 20. I wouldn't recommend this option out of choice though.

[Pork Type]

On 1/20/2019 at 7:26 AM, spoonsinger said:

Being skint, (and not being a nefarious ne'er-do-well), is actually a very good way of breaking the habit. Depending on you local ciggy cost you can live quite well, (food wise), for a couple of weeks for the price of a packet of 20. I wouldn't recommend this option out of choice though.

Considering the local cost of a pack of cigs (around 11 bucks) and the cost of a 24 oz bag of pinto beans from the local dollar store (a buck, whouldathunk) you could score 264 ounces of dried pinto beans for the cost of a pack of cigs.

 

But some folks would rather smoke. Or play the lottery.

 

https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/economy/2018/10/26/states-spend-most-per-capita-lottery/38272791/

 

Quote

The five states — Massachusetts, West Virginia, Rhode Island, New York, and Delaware — spend the most on lottery ticket sales per capita at more than $400 per year, according to Census Bureau data. Massachusetts is first at $768.36. Across all states that sell lottery tickets, ticket sales per capita is $225.14.

Bolding by me. Lotttery kiosks are fucking EVERYWHERE here. It's how this bloated ass state makes money -- from the poor. Lottery. 11 dollar cigarettes.

[Ernest Lemmingway]

I used to be on amphetamines. It was self-medication for something I suspected but couldn't get properly diagnosed. One day, after looking through my parents' stuff for something to steal and sell, I had a flash of sanity and realized what I was doing. It was winter, the family had a fire going in the fireplace, I just burnt what I had left and quit cold turkey. It took me six months to get over both the withdrawal and the worst cravings. But I've been sober ever since.

 

Another thing that stops me from going back is a little lesson they never bothered teaching those of us who went through DARE: speed accelerates the aging of our insides. I have the insides of someone in their late-sixties and I'm only 37. My lifespan is no longer measured in decades; I have maybe eight to eleven years left before I'm expected die of geriatric causes. But I'd rather live those years than mourn what's lost.

 

So take my advice. If you have a habit that's killing you, quit now. It'll hurt. It'll hurt a lot! I'll admit upfront that the withdrawal is actually the easy part. Staying clean is far harder. But compared to what you have to lose if you don't quit, what you gain is worth infinitely more. Don't make my mistake.

[KoolHndLuke]

1 hour ago, Ernest Lemmingway said:

I used to be on amphetamines. It was self-medication for something I suspected but couldn't get properly diagnosed. One day, after looking through my parents' stuff for something to steal and sell, I had a flash of sanity and realized what I was doing. It was winter, the family had a fire going in the fireplace, I just burnt what I had left and quit cold turkey. It took me six months to get over both the withdrawal and the worst cravings. But I've been sober ever since.

 

Another thing that stops me from going back is a little lesson they never bothered teaching those of us who went through DARE: speed accelerates the aging of our insides. I have the insides of someone in their late-sixties and I'm only 37. My lifespan is no longer measured in decades; I have maybe eight to eleven years left before I'm expected die of geriatric causes. But I'd rather live those years than mourn what's lost.

 

So take my advice. If you have a habit that's killing you, quit now. It'll hurt. It'll hurt a lot! I'll admit upfront that the withdrawal is actually the easy part. Staying clean is far harder. But compared to what you have to lose if you don't quit, what you gain is worth infinitely more. Don't make my mistake.

I used to steal stuff from my family and stores to support my drinking and drugs. Same as you I realized one day what I was doing and I quit because that's not the kind of person I wanted to be anymore. It's a slow road to recovery and many of the people I burned never really forgave me- which I understand. The only thing I can do is show them that I'm not like that anymore. Still got plenty of flaws that I'm pretty sure I won't be able to change, but the worst part of me is buried forever. I still struggle with self respect and even liking myself some times. At least I can take a little pride in turning my life around from what was quickly becoming a hole I would never dig out of.

 

I really can't compare though, because I didn't seem to do the damage to my body that you apparently have. Still, I hope whatever doctor told you that is wrong and you can look forward to at least another 30 yrs or so of decent living. But, you are right in that it's better not to worry about what's done and try to focus on one day at a time and enjoy life.

[goaway]

On 1/21/2019 at 3:12 PM, Ernest Lemmingway said:

Another thing that stops me from going back is a little lesson they never bothered teaching those of us who went through DARE: speed accelerates the aging of our insides. I have the insides of someone in their late-sixties and I'm only 37. My lifespan is no longer measured in decades; I have maybe eight to eleven years left before I'm expected die of geriatric causes. But I'd rather live those years than mourn what's lost.

I'm not sure who told you this, but I suspect they need to brush up on their pharmacology.  There are a lot of "clinic docs" who barely get into med school and have a fear-mongering mentality about stimulants because they don't want to have to prescribe them.  Amphetamines and other Phenylethylamine derivatives do put a strain on renal and cardiovascular systems but unless you are talking doses in excess of hundreds of miligrams per day, the long term effects are negligible. 

 

Chronic methamphetamine users quite often develop early onset renal failure before the age of 50, because they are using doses measured in grams, but I remember one patient in particular who was an ex-air force pilot that had spent more than 20 years taking very large doses of amphetamines every day and didn't require dialysis until the age of 58, and even then did not have more than a 10 year reduced life expectancy because of it.

 

The major life shortening risk for stimulant use is for people who have undiagnosed cardiovascular abnormalities, or concurrent uncontrolled hypertension.

 

Not to suggest that it is a healthy habit, by any means, and not to sound like I'm in favor of something that was clearly a destructive influence in your life, but if you are seriously expecting your lifespan to be cut short by that much, and you don't have any empirical diagnostic tests (EKG, GFR, SCr) showing altered heart or kidney function to justify it, you may be worrying over nothing.

[gregathit]

As has been stated above, don't go into it half-hearted.  You'll break way too easily and then add feeling guilty on top of whatever bad habit you were trying to get rid of.

Come up with a good and logical reason to stop, make a realistic plan (allowing for some slippage), then grit your teeth and push forward keeping your eyes on your goal.

[Ernest Lemmingway]

21 hours ago, goaway said:

<snip>

I've had all the tests suggested. It's really two systems that are going to kill me: cardiovascular or gastrointestinal. The former because my heart was strained by truly excessive use of stimulants like caffeine in colas and coffee and ephedrine found in diet pills along with the amphetamines; I don't remember exact dosages but my docs say it's a miracle I didn't kill myself. The latter because of an as-yet-unknown tie between the GI tract and mental health, especially Asperger Syndrome and the myriad of issues that are part of it. Specifically to me, stomach cancer and recurring colon polyps. I've already survived one bout of stomach cancer and it's unknown if the polyps are from metastasized cancer or just a coincidence. So far they've all been benign.

 

To this day I can't stomach caffeine--even the reduced amount in "decaf" coffee--because it irritates my stomach and causes angina.  These are issues I really don't like talking about because they're depressing for me. I survived, I'm doing what I can to prevent further problems, let's leave it at that.

[landess]

While I still smoke, I roll my own, and never in advance except a few for travel/work. It's much easier to smoke more when you just reach into a pack. Plus I got tired of tobacco incense.

 

As for Alcohol, That was surprisingly easy. When I played music in bar bands, it was part of the lifestyle, and yes, it caused problems which I never identified until I stopped using it.

 

Once I quit playing in groups, I found I never went to bars anymore, and without an enforced practice regimen to learn new songs, I found I quit drinking at home as well. Only once about 2 years later, found myself bored and decided to go across the street to a local pub. After 2x (shot of tequilla followed with a beer to nurse) I went home, and wanted it OUT OF ME.

 

That was the last time I drank, and it was over 10 years ago.

[LordAureli]

I drink and smoke, but not in excess. I must say my worst addiction was snacking between meals. It was only to deal with stress and school bullies, after I left school it was only for stress. Cookies and chocolate were my preferred snacks to the point a tablet and a pack of them didn't last a week in home.

 

What made me quit was seeing myself in the mirror and realize I was 264 pounds. I couldn't fit in most of my cute dresses and pants, my ankles hurt and I was out of breath. I told myself that I didn't want to see that again in my life and I wanted out. I started eating better and healthier, went to the gym and all and if I got cravings, the image I saw on the mirror came up in my mind and made me stop. It still does.

 

Sugar, at least for me, it's the worst addiction I've ever had.