Questions About BDSM

[Punga]

Questions about BDSM should go here. 

 

Actually, don't bother. Here you'll be ridiculed, insulted and then banned for stating your opinion. 

 

Don't be shy, no one will judge you here. 

 

Ha, looking at that statement now makes me laugh. 

 

[JackBikwik]

Well, I'm not Leon, but I am an experienced BDSM dom.

 

I've always been 100% upfront with all of my partners, but I've also made it clear that if they have zero interest in any kink, it won't happen.  If you want to be with a person who isn't in to what you're in to, you have to be OK with that.  If you don't think you can accept a relationship in which you cannot explore kink, then the relationship is not for you.  

 

I have a little bit of a different situation.  My girlfriend isn't pure vanilla, but she's far less kinky than I am.  However, I am polyamorous so I seek kink elsewhere and she's fine with that.  This arangement took a lot of open communication, mutual respect and honesty.

 

Since you're completely new to everything, I would say start with research.  And not the kind where you just watch porn.  Fetlife can be a good resource and just googling in general.  Adding BDSM in to your life, especially as a dom, is a huge responsibility that you should not take lightly.

 

After you have done some leg work and decided things you do and do not want to try and feel you can do things responsibly, start slow.  Bring it up with a partner casually, make it clear that there is no pressure for them to do anything, but that it's something you've given a lot of thought to.  Since you have done research at this point, you will be prepared for their questions or concerns.

 

If the partner agrees to try things, agree on what to try and stick to that.  Boundaries are incredibly important.  If they say they will try spanking and that's it, don't start calling them a slut and choking them.  Go slow, don't throw yourself in to things that may be dangerous unless you are confident that you know what you're doing.

 

Other than all that, have fun! Feel free to message me if you have specific questions.

Edited November 15, 2017 by JackBikwik

[Leon0803]

2 hours ago, Punga said:

Second question for Leon.

 

The slave in the club's main page, can I see more?

I like the bondage she is in there. 

 

 

sure thing bud

 

[Leon0803]

Bondage with Friends is always a thrilling thing, i tried it with a good friend of mine and also some people from the local BDSM scene (which was more in public tho, if your interested i can give you Pictures to both)

 

 

You could try talking about your interest at first "hey have you ever heared about bdsm? what do you know about it already and what do you think about it?"

 

 

from that point on you can build a conversation and try asking like "you know, id like to try this bondage stuff, would you help me with that? we could also watch a movie meanwhile or something. "

 

and then you make clear that your friend can set limits whats okay , that there are safewords he/she can use, and so on.

 

i think JackBikwik already explained it very well.

Edited November 15, 2017 by Leon0803

[JackBikwik]

5 hours ago, Punga said:

BDSM in the States, or at least in my circle is a very taboo subject. I don't think I can be so direct about it. 

I live in the bible belt in the US.  You of course don't walk up to strangers and ask if you can tie them up, but literally everyone who knows me for more than an hour knows I'm in to some shit.  I have far more trouble being bisexual than I do being kinky.

[Guest]

Do you know what is the most annoying thing?  more than let people know about bisexuality?  my extreme fetish for women's feet.

 

That's funny, people (straight men I mean) are scared about  this "taste" of mine for some reason. 

 

 

Edited November 16, 2017 by Guest

[Leon0803]

Its a fetish like anyother, a commen one even....nothing to be ashamed or discoraged of.

[Yr_Sa]

Hi!

I make animation in the style of BDSM for the SIMS 4. I want to ask the fans of this game - what would you like to see more? Sorry for bad English (Google translator)

[Leon0803]

Consentuality.

[JackBikwik]

I agree with Leon.  Enthusiastic consent with BDSM content would be great.

[Guest]

I haven't the game sims 4 , I have only sims3 then could be great to see some of them. Thank you.

[Leon0803]

22 hours ago, Punga said:

I have to disagree. I want to see forced bondage in a fantasy environment like games. Consent is for RL. 

There are already enougth mods for that.

[Trash Metal Barbie]

Has anyone of any role found their curiosity peak further and further into bdsm as time progresses, such as what was a relatively big deal on your original introduction to bdsm ends up as a more basic foundation whilst your darker inhabitions and desire for adventure grow over time? I personally seem to keep going further and further down the rabbit hole xD

 

As for honesty & approach regarding approaching the subject think of it as simply "something you like" not "something taboo" you would be surprised how many people fantasise about bdsm but dont feel comfortable enough to be openly interested in it, i can think of 3 or 4 friends off the top of my head that ask me questions or have expressed interest & curiosity. I actually met my current partner purely through open bdsm discussion as he wanted to learn rope so i volunteered to be a mannequin to help him see if it something of interest though i did make him research etiquette first and general rules,and here we are 6 months later  :')

[JackBikwik]

3 hours ago, Tifa Lockheart said:

Has anyone of any role found their curiosity peak further and further into bdsm as time progresses, such as what was a relatively big deal on your original introduction to bdsm ends up as a more basic foundation whilst your darker inhabitions and desire for adventure grow over time?

Absolutely.  Sexual expression is very fluid and progressive, even for vanilla people.  It's completely normal to expand one's interests and depth of interest.

[JackBikwik]

7 hours ago, Punga said:

Name one, other than POP, CD, and SD. 

Well, you just named three.  But I'd challenge you to name one in which consent is explicit. And not just in Sims 4 mods, in Skyrim and Fallout as well.  Rape has been done to death (sometimes literally).  It's not that I'm opposed to force in a fantasy setting, but some variety would be nice.

[DeepBlueFrog]

8 minutes ago, JackBikwik said:

Well, you just named three.  But I'd challenge you to name one in which consent is explicit. And not just in Sims 4 mods, in Skyrim and Fallout as well.  Rape has been done to death (sometimes literally).  It's not that I'm opposed to force in a fantasy setting, but some variety would be nice.

Actually SD+ does allow you to submit willingly to a master, both through dialogues (when wearing a collar) and using a surrender key, but I agree the mod doesn’t go very far in making the consensual exprience feel different from the forced experience. That’s something I am mulling over for future updates. The main problem is how to make it generic and entertaining at the same time.

[DeepBlueFrog]

@Inte - I am working on #4. 

 

Sanguine does force the player to serve him for a time at the beginning of SD’s main quest but it is currently just a placeholder for a larger quest where he will indeed act like a Daedric lord.

[JackBikwik]

2 hours ago, Inte said:

Political correctness up the ass even in games.  

You may be taking this a bit too seriously.

[Leon0803]

14 hours ago, Tifa Lockheart said:

Has anyone of any role found their curiosity peak further and further into bdsm as time progresses, such as what was a relatively big deal on your original introduction to bdsm ends up as a more basic foundation whilst your darker inhabitions and desire for adventure grow over time? I personally seem to keep going further and further down the rabbit hole xD

 

As for honesty & approach regarding approaching the subject think of it as simply "something you like" not "something taboo" you would be surprised how many people fantasise about bdsm but dont feel comfortable enough to be openly interested in it, i can think of 3 or 4 friends off the top of my head that ask me questions or have expressed interest & curiosity. I actually met my current partner purely through open bdsm discussion as he wanted to learn rope so i volunteered to be a mannequin to help him see if it something of interest though i did make him research etiquette first and general rules,and here we are 6 months later  :')

Its absolutley normal to be curious and try out new things, would be boring if it wasnt.

[Trash Metal Barbie]

Agreed, I kinda fell lucky with my partner aha, he used to be a scout so hes pretty handy with a rope xD, I guess essentially im relatively surprised at my own hard limits these days, there isnt actually all that many anymore , granted there is certain aspects I hold no interest in at all.

 

I have to say im actually rather impressed with peoples composure / attitude for the most part in here, its refreshing :)

[Darkpig]

What would happen if you put hot sauce on a gag?

>: 3

No evil purpose. Just wondering.

[Leon0803]

Well, the  gagged person would probably eventualy mix hot sauce with saliva and either it would drool out on the sides or the gagged would have to swallow it.

 

[Trash Metal Barbie]

I cant imagine itd be particularly pleasant either way xD made me shudder even thinking about it :3

 

Though part of me admires the creativity from something so simple...

[BloodberrySmoothie]

I was once blindfolded and felt a slightly cool and wet sensation on my lips... guess what. It was a pepperoni. And it burned and made my lips sensitive for a while x)

[cloudstorm37]

Having issues with devious devices. I have the devious devices mod and did all the requirements for it like get all needed mods running FNIS and ever creating the meshes in body slide 2 but still only half of the Devious devices are actually visible, I read somewhere where you can disable certain pieces, I also tried that, atm all I can see is Gags, Masks, arm binder,  vibrators, and circle heels, all of these work fine if you need more info ill be on here for a while so PLEASE HELP.