Corrupt A Wish

[Guest xthejester]

Granted.

 

Granted. And as a complementary gesture, all spy-agencies mark us as "Major security risks". And the party has booth babes, that defecate in my mouth.

 

I wish GenCon would come back to Milwaukee.

[TiredGerman]

What? Oh you cheeky monkey!

 

Granted. They'll come back in 2234 with the Playstation xxv premiering.

 

I wish for a brick to throw.

[Guest xthejester]

Granted. But it's made of pressure frozen nitroglycerine. And its starting to thaw.....

 

I wish I will live long enough to see the final moments of the Universe's existence.

[Advint]

Granted but because the universe is always expanding the distance is too great between you and any other system to see anything but your own sun.

I wish for a sweet new motorcycle.

[Guest xthejester]

Granted. It's made out of solid sugar.

 

I wish I could travel at the speed of thought.

[TiredGerman]

Granted. You are now traveling at the speed of a fleas thought process. With all the jumps in random directions included.

 

I wish for shoulder to stop hurting.

[Guest xthejester]

Granted. The pain is now in your genitals.

 

I wish winter would hurry up and be finished.

[Advint]

Granted. The sun is now a red giant and the earth is now a magma planet.

I wish my friend wouldn't fall asleep leaving skype open.

[Jormungandr]

Granted, he falls asleep and uninstalls skype while being asleep.

 

 

I wish for 365 days winter, forever.

[Advint]

Granted. You're now on Hoth and a Wampa is approaching you.

I wish my sleep schedule wasn't so jacked.

[Rasta the Lion]

Granted, your sleep will be disturbed by nightmares from now on.

 

Rasta wishes for saturday to come faster.

[Guest xthejester]

Granted. Rasta falls into a coma until Saturday.

 

I wish I was fluent in Russian, and literate in the Cyrillic Alphabet.

[Jormungandr]

Granted, but you're now voiceless and blind.

 

 

I wish for a shiny meat bicycle.

[Guest xthejester]

Granted. But it's constructed from the flesh of limbs forcibly amputated from the bodies of your loved ones.

 

I wish I earned 12 cents every time anyone in the world used the word "if". Either in spoken, or written form.

[Arcueid Brunestud]

Granted, but the whole court and justice system collapsed which was established it's entirety on that unspoken word. Here, I gave my part as well; if.

 

 

I wish some good scientist or farmer create a grape which can be peeled-off easily. Yes I'm weird and I don't care.

[Guest xthejester]

Granted. But they taste like ape feces.

 

I wish I could make women have orgasms just by blowing them a kiss.

[Arcueid Brunestud]

Granted. By the next 50 years, human population all around the world have been massively decreased as the result of severe dehydration in female population. The reasons behind the unusual phenomena is speculate to originate from a wish being granted in the past. Currently the wish granter can't be identified nor tracked. The wisher on another hand, was reportedly being beaten to death with pool cue after allegedly blowing a kiss to his wife which kick-started this ungodly disaster.

 

 

I wish I can learn programming a codes just as easily I can blend those foreign language's book and drink the tasteless concoction to circumvent the long and arduous learning process.

[Rasta the Lion]

Granted, you learn programming as easy as breathing but so too, you will forget the knowledge gained as soon as it was comprehended.

 

Rasta wishes for a new pipe.

[Thulas]

Granted, but you will need to pull it out of Tia first.

 

I wish to know if I actually should keep this avatar or should switch back to the recent one.

[Rasta the Lion]

Granted, wait until Rasta tells mistress that her new look is... well.. Rasta is a good pet and will just comply and nods when being asked about that.

 

Rasta wishes mistress will ask him how does she looks.

[Thulas]

Granted, but you need to tell it to me instead.

 

I wish you'll tell me your thoughts without corrupting this wish.

[Rasta the Lion]

Granted, *nods*.

 

Rasta wishes for the morning sun to raise early.

[Thulas]

Granted, but only one second earlier.

 

I wish that second never will pass.

[Rasta the Lion]

Granted, two seconds will pass instead of one for the sun to raise.

 

Rasta wishes for warm sun now.

[Thulas]

Granted, you will be warmed on the sun's surface.

 

I wish there will be a moon on the sun.