Addressing name calling between sexes. How do we keep relationships kinky but not toxic?

[NymphoElf]

On 9/13/2021 at 1:55 PM, stingray1995 said:

 

But what if I disrespect myself and wish to be treated with disrespect?

 

But nobody will inherently know that's what you like. They would first have to ask, hence being the respectful thing to do. Most people DON'T want to be treated disrespectfully. You'd be the exception, not the rule.

 

1 hour ago, stingray1995 said:

It's all about being inside the box; deal with it.

 

Lol, now I feel like you're just trolling.

[stingray1995]

8 minutes ago, NymphoElf said:

 

But nobody will inherently know that's what you like. They would first have to ask, hence being the respectful thing to do. Most people DON'T want to be treated disrespectfully. You'd be the exception, not the rule.

 

 

Lol, now I feel like you're just trolling.

 

No one is trolling; these are open topics.  You're the one moralizing/waxing lyrical on our human "rights"/"social aspects" on an adult sex modding site with a naked female avatar "lewd in the nude" and "hey! eyes down here."  Irony, much?

Edited September 14, 2021 by stingray1995

[stingray1995]

Normal people don't think about any of this so much — the ones who aren't on the Internet all day. They fuck, there's not much else to it. If they don't fuck, it's because one or another person has a stick lodged horizontally up their ass; gender, race, etc., have nothing to do with it. Why are these 'academics' and 'intellectuals' trying to over-complicate human nature?

Edited September 14, 2021 by stingray1995

[catchyorbit]

On 9/10/2021 at 4:11 PM, Darkpig said:

Anyways my thought is that hurting women for no good reason is bad and hurting men for no good reason is also bad.

 

This is kind of obvious. Has anyone been disputing this on this website or anywhere else?

 

On 9/10/2021 at 4:11 PM, Darkpig said:

Truth is society is still getting used to females having the same rights as men. In the same vein society is still getting used to females having the same consequences when females infringe on the rights of others.

 

Which society in particular? I wouldn't call this a problem on a society scale. The problem seems more prevalent amongst men. I accepted female equality ages ago and I promote it amongst other people. But many men still won't allow women to do things their way without men intruding and constantly hand-holding women. I still see a lot of women saying they've got everything under control, while men interfere with "No, let me do this, you're a girl, you can't do it on your own." I don't see women behaving like this towards men. This needs to be addressed.

 

On 9/10/2021 at 4:11 PM, Darkpig said:

What tips do you have when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex while respecting the rights of both sides?

 

The tips are simple. Men need to give women a chance and let them experience freedom to the full. Let women do their own thing already.

 

On 9/10/2021 at 4:11 PM, Darkpig said:

I'm talking about coworkers, family, friends, lovers, strangers, etc.

 

Work is for work. Professionalism is about doing your work right, it's not a place for relationships.

Families usually solve their interpersonal problems by gathering together.

Friendship is based on mutual respect. If respect is absent, then friendship is absent too.

With lovers it's even simpler. Just be straightforward and honest with the lover and there will be no problems. This works with pretty much any person, not just lovers.

Interactions with strangers are based on comity in a civilized sociaty. It's not a problem either.

 

[catchyorbit]

On 9/13/2021 at 10:48 AM, NymphoElf said:

Men and women, as @EvalovesEP said, are two sides of the same coin. On a purely fundamental level they are the same

 

*facepalm*

 

Men and women are completely different, physiologically and psychologically.

 

On 9/13/2021 at 10:48 AM, NymphoElf said:

but they each have unique attributes that are meant to compliment and support the other, which are academically known as "Gender Roles".

 

Their attributes are meant for personal survival, not for survival of their congeners. Gender roles were cancelled quite a while ago, thankfully.

 

On 9/13/2021 at 10:48 AM, NymphoElf said:

Like it or not, men need women AND women need men; they balance each other in ways that cannot be replaced. This applies to many aspects of life, some of which you might not realize. At the end of the day, in the grand scheme, one cannot survive without the other. This will remain true until humanity ceases to exist.

 

Ultimately, we just need to treat each other with respect. "Treat others the way you wish to be treated."

 

Why do men need women? Men are self-sufficient creatures who can survive on their own. They are even psychologically wired to survive on a deserted island. They have everything they need for that. Can women survive on a deserted island? Some probably can, but I have never heard about such cases.

 

On 9/13/2021 at 10:48 AM, NymphoElf said:

they balance each other in ways that cannot be replaced

 

A man is a complete, wholesome persona. What exactly does a man need to have balanced?

 

On 9/13/2021 at 10:48 AM, NymphoElf said:

This applies to many aspects of life, some of which you might not realize.

 

Could you enlighten us about such aspects?

 

On 9/13/2021 at 10:48 AM, NymphoElf said:

At the end of the day, in the grand scheme, one cannot survive without the other.

 

They can. There are plenty of male ascetics in pretty much any culture, especially in Asian cultures, solitary monks being one of the most common examples.

 

On 9/13/2021 at 10:48 AM, NymphoElf said:

Ultimately, we just need to treat each other with respect. "Treat others the way you wish to be treated."

 

Good point, but only a small minority of people practices this.

 

[stingray1995]

"The Golden Rule" is just what your 'moral betters' tell you so they can walk all over you. My Golden Rule: you can pee on me, but I prefer it not to be too golden.

[coolfreaky]

On 9/13/2021 at 8:18 AM, Darkpig said:

We could make it so scientists, journalists and lawmakers will have to jump through a few more hoops to get recognition at least by the the academic community.

 

it seems we already try that for about 50 years and it failed ( scientistes thinks they are god like a shaman few thousands years ago , journalists spread their opinion like we care , and lawmaker are following the wind and their pockets )   it is not just hoops but space travel .

 

and by following and reading all the rest of the posts  i feel like we are ready to fight over words and expressions over an internet box !  ( it is just an off topic thread we are not going to change the world ) .

 

from a gender fight it becomes a pride fight . women and men are exactly the same except the dick and more testosterone the other side is a uterus and boobs . the way of thinking is always the same ( when you feel strong you will run in front , when not you use poison and ruse ) .

 

 

[Darkpig]

9 hours ago, catchyorbit said:

This is kind of obvious. Has anyone been disputing this on this website or anywhere else?

A bit of review never hurt. Sort of like a story recap in books and movies. Besides there have been cases of people lumping others into their fetish such as those who say all girls love rough sex(which are posts not mods).  As to who said it this is a porn site. That is to be expected. This is not a witch hunt.

9 hours ago, catchyorbit said:

Which society in particular? I wouldn't call this a problem on a society scale. The problem seems more prevalent amongst men.

Men are part of society and the women who are also part of society are letting men shit on them. Why? Because that is how it has been for a long time. Point is yes this is a society problem.

Edit: Okay I should clarify. This is not victim blaming. Also this does not qualify for all men and women especially nowadays but there was a time when women didn't have the same rights as men, not even close and neither bothered to change the status quo. When a call for change did happen several men and women spoke out against it despite the several women who wanted rights and the men that supported them. It is that outdated mind set that oppresses women and I would argue they are still trying to push their dumb ideas on everyone. This of course affects more than just women. To that say goodbye to mini skirts and hotpants and say hello to long conservative dresses and possibly a burka. Why? Because men don't want other men oogling their wife the insecure fucks. These people are living in the past and they hate everyone that isn't them.

9 hours ago, catchyorbit said:

The tips are simple. Men need to give women a chance and let them experience freedom to the full. Let women do their own thing already.

Agreed 100%

Edited September 15, 2021 by Darkpig
Clarification

[NymphoElf]

@catchyorbit You talked yourself in a circle. You don't know of any societies that aren't "used to" women's rights, yet you passively suggest that women haven't been allowed to do their own thing. Which is it? Do you think women have the same rights as a man or not? (Spoiler alert: they do).

 

And when I said "fundamental level", I simply meant them being human. Perhaps "fundamental" wasn't the best word. 

 

Quote

Their attributes are meant for personal survival, not for survival of their congeners. Gender roles were cancelled quite a while ago, thankfully.

 

What are you talking about?? It's absolutely meant for survival of the species. You have that COMPLETELY backwards. If individual survival was the ONLY factor, humanity would not exist. We'd be something else entirety. And what do you mean gender roles were "cancelled"? Do people not have mothers or fathers anymore? Did women all, universally, stop trying to be attractive? Did men all, universally, stop trying to be fit and have stable income? 

 

As for men and women needing each other, once again you're not looking at the big picture. You're focusing too hard on the individual. If you suddenly took away all men or all women on the planet, humanity would go extinct in 100 years or less. 

 

For everything else, again, you're focusing too much on individuals. Even then, a child needs a mother and father, or at least someone to fill those roles as they grow up if one or more of the parents die or abandon the child, to grow into a healthy adult that can then repeat the process for their own kids, should they choose to have any. If you leave one of those parental figures out of the equation, you start to have more adults with behavioral, mental, and/or emotional problems. Example: Many people (both men and women) in jail for violent crimes didn't have a father in their life.

 

Lastly, there are many more people practice respect than you believe. Either you've been brainwashed into thinking everyone is hateful, or your understanding of respect is flawed. As to which, I cannot claim to know.

 

Between both you and stingray, you both hyper focused on one aspect of the conversation, which is inherently incorrect when talking about men and women, or rather humanity in general. You can't break down humanity into it's pieces without talking about every other piece it affects, otherwise you start to remove what makes all of us human. We are more than the sum of our parts, therefore you can't focus on a single variable.

Edited September 15, 2021 by NymphoElf
Grammar, Spelling, Formatting

[catchyorbit]

15 hours ago, Darkpig said:

A bit of review never hurt.

 

Fair point.

 

15 hours ago, Darkpig said:

As to who said it this is a porn site.

 

I didn't know that this is a porn website. I thought it's a website of refined arts for sophisticated connoisseurs such as myself. Some of the artwork I have seen here deserves a place at the Louvre Museum.

 

15 hours ago, Darkpig said:

Men are part of society and the women who are also part of society are letting men shit on them.

 

Women only allow alpha males to shit on them. Try shitting on some random woman on the street, the cops will pick you up in no time. I don't see betas shitting on women, usually it's the other way around.

 

But domestic abuse remains a problematic issue indeed.

 

15 hours ago, Darkpig said:

To that say goodbye to mini skirts and hotpants and say hello to long conservative dresses and possibly a burka. Why? Because men don't want other men oogling their wife the insecure fucks. These people are living in the past and they hate everyone that isn't them.

 

This is prevalent in conservative societies. They have a completely different paradigm of values, which is their own interior matter that they should work on without foreign intervention, if they so desire. Their societies are not oppressive towards women specifically. Men have loads of restrictions too. Men get the same punishments, according to Sharia, as women, including stoning for adultery. But when it happens to men, it's not newsworthy for Western media. When it happens to women, the media are screeching about it.

 

Evidently, there is still a lot of work that needs to be done in this field.

 

As for Europe, North and South Americas, Oceania and most of Asia, the women there are getting more liberated every year, their clothing is becoming more revealing.

 

 

 

[catchyorbit]

1 hour ago, NymphoElf said:

@catchyorbit You talked yourself in a circle.

 

No, I didn't.

 

1 hour ago, NymphoElf said:

You don't know of any societies that aren't "used to" women's rights, yet you passively suggest that women haven't been allowed to do their own thing.

 

I didn't say "I don't know". I was asking the TS for clarifications. Nice try though, hehehe.

 

1 hour ago, NymphoElf said:

Do you think women have the same rights as a man or not?

 

In my country, women have more rights and priviledges than men. A lot of rights and priviledges. How's that?

 

1 hour ago, NymphoElf said:

What are you talking about?? It's absolutely meant for survival of the species.

 

People's self-preservation instincts are far superior to any other primary instincts. And I will remind that a man's other primary instincts are (getting food, procreation and domination). You think if a wild animal approached an ancient man and woman who were having sex, they would be more worried about procreation for the sake of the survival of the humankind or they would stop and run for their lives?

 

1 hour ago, NymphoElf said:

If individual survival was the ONLY factor, humanity would not exist. We'd be something else entirety. And what do you mean gender roles were "cancelled"? Do people not have mothers or father's anymore? Did women all, universally, stop trying to be attractive? Did men all, universally, stop trying to be fit and have stable income?

 

Wrong. Personal self-preservation is the overarching factor, not the "ONLY factor". When ancient humans were fighting off wild animals, they were worried about personal preservation. The collective fight against wildlife using unified efforts was not the goal or the main instinct, it was merely a method of achieving that.

 

1 hour ago, NymphoElf said:

And what do you mean gender roles were "cancelled"?

 

Gender roles are now "toxic" and "oppressive" and they are "the tools of the patriarchy to keep the poor women in the kitchen". You must've missed a few decades of what has been going on.

 

1 hour ago, NymphoElf said:

Do people not have mothers or father's anymore?

 

There is an epidemic of single mothers in North America and Europe. A lot of fathers are being estranged from their kids after divorce. The falling birth rates are a clear reflection of aggravations in intersexual relationships and family matters, which is a result of discriminatory antimale laws in many countries. Females liberation is a factor too. Hard-working women are less incentivised to have kids, so the governments passed many laws to make men take the main financial burden while simultaneously preaching about equality of both genders.

 

1 hour ago, NymphoElf said:

Did women all, universally, stop trying to be attractive? Did men all, universally, stop trying to be fit and have stable income?

 

Being attractive, fit and having a stable income are not gender roles.

 

1 hour ago, NymphoElf said:

If you suddenly took away all men or all women on the planet, humanity would go extinct in 100 years or less.

 

And? Is that a problem? You think every man's top concern is about keeping humanity running? You think every man cares what will be of humanity after they die?

 

1 hour ago, NymphoElf said:

Even then, a child needs a mother and father, or at least someone to fill those roles as they grow up of one or more of the parents die or abandon the child, to grow into a healthy adult that can then repeat the process for their own kids, should they choose to have any.

 

Does the current legal system build upon this notion? Over 50% of marriages end in divorce. 80% of divorces are initiated by women. Then why did governments pass laws to make divorces and estrangment of parents and children so easy? Shouldn't the child's interests be above the parents' personal interests? Why do the laws allow kicking the father out of the child's life so easily? Why do mothers have far more say in raising the child?

 

1 hour ago, NymphoElf said:

If you leave one of those parental figures out of the equation, you start to have more adults with behavioral, mental, and/or emotional problems. Example: Many people (both men and women) in jail for violent crimes didn't have a father in their life.

 

Wow. But once again, then why was the legal system designed to incentivise removal of parental figures rather than keeping them?

 

1 hour ago, NymphoElf said:

Lastly, there are many more people practice respect than you believe.

 

How do you know my belief system regarding respect if I haven't given enough information about it? You are free to assume though, I am not against assumptions.

 

1 hour ago, NymphoElf said:

Either you've been brainwashed into thinking everyone is hateful

 

*facepalm*

 

Where did you even get that?

 

1 hour ago, NymphoElf said:

Between both you and stingray, you both hyper focused on one aspect of the conversation, which is inherently incorrect when talking abouten and women, or rather humanity in general. You can't break down humanity into it's pieces without talking about every other piece it affects, otherwise you start to remove what makes all of us human. We are more than the sum of our parts, therefore you can't focus on a single variable.

 

I am a very latitudinarian man. I am open for discourse with all kinds of people and speak out against attempts to shut people up just for having "wrong opinions". I am eager to consider all relevant aspects. And where did I focus only on one single aspect? I was focusing on the points that had been raised. By the way, if we start focusing on every single aspect, this thread will be thousands of pages long, like a scientific paper.

 

[Darkpig]

7 hours ago, catchyorbit said:

I didn't know that this is a porn website. I thought it's a website of refined arts for sophisticated connoisseurs such as myself. Some of the artwork I have seen here deserves a place at the Louvre Museum.

My mistake.

7 hours ago, catchyorbit said:

Women only allow alpha males to shit on them. Try shitting on some random woman on the street, the cops will pick you up in no time. I don't see betas shitting on women, usually it's the other way around.

 

But domestic abuse remains a problematic issue indeed.

True. The government always has ways of oppressing men yet rich and powerful men seem to get away with murder. Crazy stuff.

7 hours ago, catchyorbit said:

This is prevalent in conservative societies. They have a completely different paradigm of values, which is their own interior matter that they should work on without foreign intervention, if they so desire. Their societies are not oppressive towards women specifically. Men have loads of restrictions too. Men get the same punishments, according to Sharia, as women, including stoning for adultery. But when it happens to men, it's not newsworthy for Western media. When it happens to women, the media are screeching about it.

 

Evidently, there is still a lot of work that needs to be done in this field.

 

As for Europe, North and South Americas, Oceania and most of Asia, the women there are getting more liberated every year, their clothing is becoming more revealing.

Media has always looked at women and children most of the time. Fuckin perverts! Anyway you bring up a good point. Maybe media sees it as a societal problem rather than a men's problem. I'm guessing another factor is the macho complex men have keeping them from spreading information about their moments of weakness like when they are raped and beaten they tend to hold it in rather than get help. With that no wonder why people think they are the perfect beings with no newsworthy stories to tell.

[NymphoElf]

@catchyorbit I feel like we're saying the same thing but in different ways.

Edited September 16, 2021 by NymphoElf

[Papitas]

19 hours ago, Darkpig said:

the macho complex men have keeping them from spreading information about their moments of weakness like when they are raped and beaten they tend to hold it in rather than get help

 

Ha! No xD

There's no "macho anything" when you hide your weaknesses. It's about being pragmatic. 

 

You go try to show weakness to other men or (WAY worse) women and then see how it goes for you xD

[Darkpig]

3 hours ago, Papitas said:

 

Ha! No xD

There's no "macho anything" when you hide your weaknesses. It's about being pragmatic. 

 

You go try to show weakness to other men or (WAY worse) women and then see how it goes for you xD

You can hide many things. Weakness is not one of them. Especially not in a relationship. Especially not from me.?

[AKM]

On 9/10/2021 at 9:11 AM, Darkpig said:

coworkers, family, friends, lovers, strangers

 

Relationships with coworkers and strangers are ridiculously simple.  You are there either to accomplish a task (coworker) or transact a trade (stranger), period, end of sentence.  There is no male/female, there is no sexual attraction, there is no anything but the pure business for which you interact.  Complete the transaction and walk away.

She's not the 'hot new intern', the 'woman police officer' or the 'woman firefighter'.  She's 'the new intern', 'a police officer', 'a firefighter'.  That's it.  If the person is in the position, the person is in the position.  The sex of the individual doesn't matter (assuming, of course, that the physical requirements were both the same, and met to obtain the position in the first place).

Family, you just pick your battles.  If you find something that someone's determined that they're right about, and it doesn't matter what your view on the subject is, then it's a waste of time and energy to even attempt discussing it with them.  Find another subject, or just don't talk to them at all.

As for lovers, I have no idea.  I've stayed the hell away from that can of worms.   Last I tried ended in disaster.  NOT doing that again.

[Darkpig]

2 hours ago, AKM said:

Relationships with coworkers and strangers are ridiculously simple.  You are there either to accomplish a task (coworker) or transact a trade (stranger), period, end of sentence.  There is no male/female, there is no sexual attraction, there is no anything but the pure business for which you interact.  Complete the transaction and walk away.

She's not the 'hot new intern', the 'woman police officer' or the 'woman firefighter'.  She's 'the new intern', 'a police officer', 'a firefighter'.  That's it.  If the person is in the position, the person is in the position.  The sex of the individual doesn't matter (assuming, of course, that the physical requirements were both the same, and met to obtain the position in the first place).

Family, you just pick your battles.  If you find something that someone's determined that they're right about, and it doesn't matter what your view on the subject is, then it's a waste of time and energy to even attempt discussing it with them.  Find another subject, or just don't talk to them at all.

As for lovers, I have no idea.  I've stayed the hell away from that can of worms.   Last I tried ended in disaster.  NOT doing that again.

Solid answers.

 

When or if you decide to start a relationship again I simply wish you the best. Romance is strange and it will take continuous effort on both sides for the relationship to work.

[AKM]

5 hours ago, Darkpig said:

Solid answers.

 

When or if you decide to start a relationship again I simply wish you the best. Romance is strange and it will take continuous effort on both sides for the relationship to work.

Appreciate the sentiment.  Not to derail your thread, but there's a simple answer, and an answer that some here (Eva, in particular) may not believe, that is as follows:

Being a male, I am biologically hardwired to want interaction with women/ the company of women.  I understand this, and in all honesty, agree.  My life has, indeed, been lesser for lack of the company of women.  What is missed by those who don't understand my stance is that it's NOT about the fact that it's difficult, the fact that I've had so little success with women over the years, etc..  I've done a lot of difficult things that I didn't have success with for the longest time before finally figuring it out, and I'm well aware that the ONLY way to succeed in any pursuit is to learn from mistakes, modify behavior, and try again.

The problem, at least from my perspective, is that the laws of my country have made it clear, from a very early age (grade school, to be exact - around early teens), that interacting with women brings an extreme legal risk. 

It is NOT women themselves I fear.  It is the power of the State, the government (not to mention the media), that they have backing them and their ability to bear that power with almost ZERO accountability.  Specifically, the ability, at this point in time, for them to accuse a male of something, waste a BUNCH of my time, money, and possibly take my freedom, and yet, should it be found that the allegations were false, they walk away without consequence, while destroying my reputation - having taken my time, money, and freedom.  I've seen this happen to personal friends, and I paid attention.  It's real, it happens, and the ONLY way I have found to make sure I'm safe from this threat is "not to play".  As the saying goes: 'It's a strange game.  The only way to win is not to play.'  It's no fun, it's not an ideal answer, but it is the ONLY answer for any number of men I know, myself included.

Currently, there is a massive disconnect between 'Women are equal' in the workplace and other areas of life and 'Women are women, and should be protected, treated special, etc.' in the romance section of life.  Time and again I've seen women consciously take full advantage of 'Women are equal' (as they should), while turning around, and demanding special treatment because 'they're women' when it comes to so many things, especially dating.  The number of times I've seen 'modern rules when it suits me, but old-fashioned rules when THAT suits me!' is unbelievable.  In short, far too many women, in U.S. culture anyway, want to be 'strong, independent women', and then turn around and wonder why they're not getting treated specially in romance like their mothers (or at least grandmothers) were.  They miss the fact that by screaming 'I'm independent! I don't need a man!  Fish/Bicycle!', they deprive both themselves, and men of the greatest pleasure life has to offer - the company of the opposite sex.  Of course, men are doing the same by not working out, not this, that or the next thing that is (well, was) their side of the bargain.  Both sexes are ruining it for each other.

The worst part about it all is that a lot of this came about from the re-defining of the term 'independent'.  Almost NO ONE is independent.  Unless you live out in the wilderness on your own and built your shelter, hunt/fish, etc., and do literally EVERYTHING for yourself, you aren't independent.  Even so, chances are you're using tools that were made by other people that you paid for in some way, shape, or form, so your not, indeed, totally independent even then.   What society did, is they took the idea behind 'independent-minded', and changed it to just 'independent'.  And people today don't know the difference.

[coolfreaky]

3 hours ago, AKM said:

The worst part about it all is that a lot of this came about from the re-defining of the term 'independent'.  Almost NO ONE is independent.  Unless you live out in the wilderness on your own and built your shelter, hunt/fish, etc., and do literally EVERYTHING for yourself, you aren't independent.  Even so, chances are you're using tools that were made by other people that you paid for in some way, shape, or form, so your not, indeed, totally independent even then.   What society did, is they took the idea behind 'independent-minded', and changed it to just 'independent'.  And people today don't know the difference.

 

i agree there is no independents in this world : born and depending on the mother . depending on social life without interaction no learning and much more loosing it . trying to leave as a bear ; even bears needs security they sleep with one eye open , smelling the danger .

 

the social life is a brain need a physiological need , our hormones are calling for it . the interaction with an other being is a necessity . but in modern life we need to do more efforts to keep the other ( changes are good but not too often ) and it is also importante to keep stability .

 

it is importante ( my thinking ) to be in tune with the other  , to care and or to feel safe with the other .  it is not matter man/woman , man/man , woman/woman .

[Darkpig]

17 hours ago, AKM said:

Appreciate the sentiment.  Not to derail your thread, but there's a simple answer, and an answer that some here (Eva, in particular) may not believe, that is as follows:

Being a male, I am biologically hardwired to want interaction with women/ the company of women.  I understand this, and in all honesty, agree.  My life has, indeed, been lesser for lack of the company of women.  What is missed by those who don't understand my stance is that it's NOT about the fact that it's difficult, the fact that I've had so little success with women over the years, etc..  I've done a lot of difficult things that I didn't have success with for the longest time before finally figuring it out, and I'm well aware that the ONLY way to succeed in any pursuit is to learn from mistakes, modify behavior, and try again.

The problem, at least from my perspective, is that the laws of my country have made it clear, from a very early age (grade school, to be exact - around early teens), that interacting with women brings an extreme legal risk. 

It is NOT women themselves I fear.  It is the power of the State, the government (not to mention the media), that they have backing them and their ability to bear that power with almost ZERO accountability.  Specifically, the ability, at this point in time, for them to accuse a male of something, waste a BUNCH of my time, money, and possibly take my freedom, and yet, should it be found that the allegations were false, they walk away without consequence, while destroying my reputation - having taken my time, money, and freedom.  I've seen this happen to personal friends, and I paid attention.  It's real, it happens, and the ONLY way I have found to make sure I'm safe from this threat is "not to play".  As the saying goes: 'It's a strange game.  The only way to win is not to play.'  It's no fun, it's not an ideal answer, but it is the ONLY answer for any number of men I know, myself included.

Currently, there is a massive disconnect between 'Women are equal' in the workplace and other areas of life and 'Women are women, and should be protected, treated special, etc.' in the romance section of life.  Time and again I've seen women consciously take full advantage of 'Women are equal' (as they should), while turning around, and demanding special treatment because 'they're women' when it comes to so many things, especially dating.  The number of times I've seen 'modern rules when it suits me, but old-fashioned rules when THAT suits me!' is unbelievable.  In short, far too many women, in U.S. culture anyway, want to be 'strong, independent women', and then turn around and wonder why they're not getting treated specially in romance like their mothers (or at least grandmothers) were.  They miss the fact that by screaming 'I'm independent! I don't need a man!  Fish/Bicycle!', they deprive both themselves, and men of the greatest pleasure life has to offer - the company of the opposite sex.  Of course, men are doing the same by not working out, not this, that or the next thing that is (well, was) their side of the bargain.  Both sexes are ruining it for each other.

The worst part about it all is that a lot of this came about from the re-defining of the term 'independent'.  Almost NO ONE is independent.  Unless you live out in the wilderness on your own and built your shelter, hunt/fish, etc., and do literally EVERYTHING for yourself, you aren't independent.  Even so, chances are you're using tools that were made by other people that you paid for in some way, shape, or form, so your not, indeed, totally independent even then.   What society did, is they took the idea behind 'independent-minded', and changed it to just 'independent'.  And people today don't know the difference.

Ah legal ground. The bane of so many so many would be college students who for some reason or another are expected to cite every idea that ever came out of the mouth of every simpleton in history. I get the whole checking your sources part and that would save on so much fear mongering. On that note should give credit where credit is do not because it is illegal not to but it is the right thing to do. But I'll transition to my next point.

 

You do bring up some good points so while I can't say I agree with everything I do see where you are coming from especially with that last part about independence. I have heard of this idea for a possible alternative, I think it was interdependence. Unfortunately since humans thrive in competition it always boomerangs back to independence. Of course this means people are constantly bickering with each other meaning hurt feelings at best and lost limbs at worst. Women are no exception to this rule. I have met some terrible fucking people and some of them are women. Then there are many who are wonderful people. Unfortunately legal issues are not a one way street and many more influential people do get away with horrible things with little more than a slap to the wrist. Maybe we need to find a way for people to sit down with their lawyers and talk this shit out before this turns into a full blown legal issue. Same with lovers. If either party violates their part of the customized contract legal repercussions follow. Maybe it is time for both men and women to move on to move on to the 21st century. Anyway fish on a bicycle I think I'll make it my new bumper sticker to piss off another Chris- anyway. Relationships shouldn't be rushed so to quote the local hippie "Take your time bruh." Or maybe it was a surfer. Whatever.

 

Bicycle bicycle bicycle?
I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle?

[stingray1995]

Have a .38 / .22 caliber Mexican standoff to the head while fucking?

 

* Let her have the .38, so hers is bigger than yours.

Edited September 20, 2021 by stingray1995

[stingray1995]

On 9/14/2021 at 12:35 PM, NymphoElf said:

You'd be the exception

 

I am exceptional, it's true.  

 

* What'd you think I was doing all weekend?  You didn't see me on here, that's for sure.

Edited September 20, 2021 by stingray1995

[Papitas]

18 hours ago, AKM said:

My life has, indeed, been lesser for lack of the company of women.  What is missed by those who don't understand my stance is that it's NOT about the fact that it's difficult, the fact that I've had so little success with women over the years, etc..  I've done a lot of difficult things that I didn't have success with for the longest time before finally figuring it out, and I'm well aware that the ONLY way to succeed in any pursuit is to learn from mistakes, modify behavior, and try again.

 

You are not alone in all things you posted.

 

You seem to be from USA.

It's well known around the world about the risks of engaging in any kind of interaction with women there.

 

I'm from Mexico and we are closely following that same idiotic path (as usual, we are just a bunch of morons that copy the worst aspects of every culture we are conquered by, but never learn the good things).

I can somewhat understand how things are around you.

 

I've had my fair share of stable relationships and each iteration I got better both as a human being and in discerning who would make a good couple, but I still consider my love life to be another aspect of my life that is a total failure.

 

Yeah... I've always been sworn undying love and all that bullshit, but as soon as I get into a rough patch or whatever, I get promptly discarded.

Nowadays I'm used just for sex because I'm tall and athletic, but I would have preferred to be loved and shit. Oh well... I didn't got it so bad, seeing most men aren't wanted even for sex.

I won't deny I would've wanted to live the fairy tale of being "together forever", but I just gave up on that, just like you did and I can bet I did it for the exact same reasons.

 

But I don't really think my life is worse because of the lack of women on it. Nowadays I spend a great deal of my free time playing games and making mods, so I mostly don't notice that fact.

And even if I noticed it, there's so much physical/mental/emotional/whatever pain a living being can endure. Once you cross certain threshold, you go numb and things aren't that bad.

 

[stingray1995]

2 minutes ago, Papitas said:

You seem to be from USA.

It's well known around the world about the risks of engaging in any kind of interaction with women there.

 

Yeah, you pay them here -- and wear a rubber, just in case. 

Edited September 20, 2021 by stingray1995

[AKM]

On 9/20/2021 at 2:22 AM, Papitas said:

You seem to be from USA.

It's well known around the world about the risks of engaging in any kind of interaction with women there.

 

Yes, natural born.  Amazed, looking back, on all the opportunities I had and never took advantage of.  Wondered for a LONG time why anyone would willingly want to move here.  If you're used to seeing it, you tend to just not see it.  It's weird.

I wasn't aware of that.  Typical native born U.S. citizen - very little understanding of how others outside the U.S. think, or what they think of us for that matter.  Notice, I make every effort NOT to say 'American'.  Because you are just as American as I am, as are Canadians, as are Peruvians, Chileans, etc, and so on.  It's got to be the number one thing I despise about my fellow natural born U.S. citizens: This co-option of the term 'American', as if only we are "worthy" of it.  It's ridiculous. *End mini-rant*

But yes, I've seen first hand men get sent to prison because they couldn't pay the fully demanded monies to the women/children.  They were working, they did have a job, they were making some payments... but it wasn't the fully demanded amount, so off to prison with them.  How are they to have any possibility at all of making some payments, never mind full payments, when they're sitting rotting in prison?  Oh, and who will hire them afterwards now that they have a criminal record?  It's debtor's prison, plain and simple (which was officially made illegal generations ago, but they found a way around it with child support/alimony.  Child support I can "kind of" understand, but yet there is no check and balance to ensure that the money is actually going to support the child - and then you get these celebrities paying millions of dollars a month in "child support".  It's bullshit of the highest order.  Alimony is simply "I was used to this standard of living when I was with him, I want him to continue to provide me with that standard of living while I'm off fucking some other guy.").  When a woman can hold that kind of power over your head, even as a simple threat of possibility, you're a fool to get involved with women at all.

Oh, and then there's the "How can I trick my male into getting me pregnant?" web searches.  Not hundreds, not thousands, millions of hits.  Faking pregnancies, "sperm-jacking" (stealing a mans sperm and getting yourself pregnant against his will - but it's NOT rape!) etc..  It's all fine.  - But don't you dare do something like that to a female!  Society will have your head!

The goofiest part of it all is that all of the above, that you yourself see, and yet there a LOT of people here who wonder why there are more and more men like me who are just saying "Fuck it!" and "walking away".  So many men who take mention of these threats, call us names, and laugh off the threats mentioned - only to find themselves in the exact same spot several years down the line.  All one can do is shake your head and wonder.  Because if you're not following the script, you automatically hate women/can't get a woman if you tried/etc. and so on.  For some of us, that's true.  For a lot, it isn't.  I did try.  I tried for years.  I got nowhere, couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong, and simply got tired of putting effort into a pursuit that was gaining me absolutely nothing for all the effort expended.  Then I took a step back and looked at the big picture, which is when all the problems came into focus, and it was basically "Oh!  Gee, I didn't see that before!  Wow.  Maybe having zero success was a blessing disguised as a curse."

Edited September 22, 2021 by AKM