Wife found Skyrim sex lab mods.

[Grimlock277]

Hey everyone. About a month or two ago. My wife stubbled upon my Skyrim sex lab mods and was very angry with me and said she was disgusted by it. It’s not like I went out of my way to hide these things it was just on my gaming pc which she sometimes uses for school.  After the whole argument I ended up deleting my whole Skyrim and everything just to get her to chill out, but I kinda feel like it’s not fair. I was really enjoying my game as it was and I wasn’t using it in the way that I was getting my rocks off to it. I just had a couple mods that I felt made the game more realistic. She never actually seen the mods in use. She pretty much just freaked out about seeing Skyrim sex lab in my browser history on my pc. I want to re download Skyrim and get my mods back in order cause I enjoy playing the game but I feel like it’s wrong now. She shamed me and asked me things like what if your family knew about it and such. I just wanted to know if anyone had any advice or similar experiences thanks. 

 

Thanks for all the responses! I did end up talking to her and explaining what my mods actually do and she is more okay with it now. Still a bit weirded out but says I can install them again. I probably should have just explained it better to her when it happened. I’d say talking it out was the best solution to anyone that has this problem. Sneaking around and lying will get you nowhere good.

[SilentOption]

You could have make a separate user account on your PC for her use that way you have a level of privacy when she has no access to your account.

[jfraser]

it's tough when you're in a relationship where you feel like you can't tell the other person everything about yourself without fear. I was in a marriage like that for 17 years. Honesty and open communication are the keys to a successful marriage. My current wife knows about LL and even knows I made a slavery mod.

 

I'm not suggesting this is divorce-worthy, by any means, but I do think you might want to work on better communication with each other, including possibly going to come couple's counseling, until you're in a spot where you're both comfortable telling each other anything. You shouldn't have to hide who you are.

[Hex Bolt]

18 minutes ago, grimlcok277 said:

I was really enjoying my game as it was and I wasn’t using it in the way that I was getting my rocks off to it. I just had a couple mods that I felt made the game more realistic. She never actually seen the mods in use. She pretty much just freaked out about seeing Skyrim sex lab in my browser history on my pc.

 

This is the key part.  Why don't you show her what it's about and explain how you were using it?  Help her to make an informed decision.  You have nothing to be ashamed of, and this way you're not sneaking around behind her back after she's been clear with you about these kinds of mods.  Honesty is best.

 

If she still doesn't like it, then keep Skyrim but leave off SexLab and related mods.  It's not worth the harm to your marriage in exchange for a bit of realism in some game.

[27X]

1. If someone is intimidated by a video game, they need counseling. Period.

2. Sounds like you both have esteem issues, again counseling.

 

[sfdrake]

I pull off sexlab mods and reinstall them all the time. It is mostly because I getbored of them.  I also find some of them to be a bit too corny at times too

[FlufyFox]

Well i think all people have way to see things, i still pretty young and i am single, but i live with my brother and my mom too, my parents divorced last year, Skyrim can distract us from the rest of the problems, i was off almost all last year in Skyrim but i decided to come back and how things are going, i lost all things i had all mods and my characters, I like Skyrim community in all aspects either in the normal game or in the adult mods they are pretty friendly and always try ti help each other, like hex said you must try to show her the game, you know its just a game to have some fun, in my case my brother obviously knows and my mom dont know how to use the computer so its cool, adult content is very specific for some, each one sees in a different way.

Flickr

[scientistaboard]

Damn that sucks. You should do what you like though. I've got a ish ton of Wicked Whims mods in my Sims game and show them to my boyfriend and he likes them. Maybe she'll warm up to the idea later?

[Guest]

My wife saw my phone's  browsing history some years back while we were on a vacation. Foolish me had been surfing on Joshnz mod Animated prostitution and continued with Chery Hotalings breast and bounce physics. Man, that was a long vacation. But very beautiful place. We actually went there the year after too.

[Wut1969]

Talk.  Just talk to eachother.

 

If playing Skyrim with LL/SL mods is important to you and if she is genuinly interested in you as a person, the both of you will be able to have a meaningful discussion about these mods and why they are important to you. She on the other hand is obviously allowed to thinking that you're weird and obviously she doesn't have to participate in your hobby if it doesn't appeal to her.

You both need to be able to talk -and- listen. If you figure out how to do that I'm sure you'll find a very stable middle ground where you both can respect and love eachother while accepting that in some things you have different tastes.

 

Spoiler

 

Try to avoid insurrections and civil wars, so talk.

 

Did I just... ? Nah, I wouldn't, would I?

 

 

[sikamikanico78]

well my Gf knows about the "pervert" mods i have in skyrim but since i like it she says nothing..i know she would have prefered if i delete everything and make skyrim nice again with flowers and bright colors like her skyrim is...heheh  but she knows it is not going to happen..i dont hide it and she dosent search the screenshots....i think..  ..any ways i agree with you your wife is wrong and unfortunatelly this is not how a realasion succeds... you dont have to be forced to do things you dont like...she should have respected your enjoyments and needs my friend

[PastelBlackKittyCat]

Why do you marry people who do not accept you??? I don't understand. Hell, marry someone who will have fun with Skyrim mods WITH you. I could understand if she was insecure and jealous, I have that problem sometimes, but shaming??? You deserve better. 

[Lyman the Lunatic]

Sounds a lot more like an overreaction than anything else. Try & see why she felt that way maybe? She could be projecting some of the things she has a hard time telling you & ended up venting. You didn't do anything wrong so there's no reason to feel guilt or ashamed. Maybe you acted like it's a secret to her as well so that didn't helped? I don't know, I never make it a secret about how I use mods in my game.

[panthercom]

 Let her create her own character in Skyrim and give her some privacy, then see if she changes her tune

If she's one of those ladies that likes to read romance novels, or watches Outlander it will probably go better...

 

 My adult stepsister visited from out of town; I hadn't seen her for a few years. I found out she was a gamer

too, and had a beefier PC than I did. I asked if she played Skyrim - 'yes', have you modded Skyrim - 'no'

Oh my, we have such sights to show you... I turned her loose with my player character. She asked, 'Can I fuck

Vilkas?' and I showed her how to make it happen. Watching her reaction was one of the funniest moments in

my life. Then I asked her if she wanted to make my character fuck a horse; she said no (aww, too bad!)

 She has worked as a stripper, so I wasn't exactly corrupting the innocent, and no, incest is really not my thing.

I did give her a link to Loverslab, and she is a pretty smart girl, so maybe she's having fun in Skyrim - not that

it's any of my business.

[Guest]

On 1/20/2021 at 4:35 PM, SilentOption said:

You could have make a separate user account on your PC for her use that way you have a level of privacy when she has no access to your account.

 

Given that she's mad over sexual content in a video game, sounds like she's got trust issues over things that are absolutely trivial. I would bet money that if they had separate accounts, that wouldn't do any good. I'd hate to be in his shoes. She's probably smashed his PC by now.

[Baltasarr80]

1 minute ago, endgame † addiction said:

 

Given that she's mad over sexual content in a video game, sounds like she's got trust issues over things that are absolutely trivial. I would bet money that if they had separate accounts, that wouldn't do any good. I'd hate to be in his shoes. She's probably smashed his PC by now.

 Absolutely agree with your assessment. My Fiance knows about my fetishes and my how i call it "Sexrim". She doesnt like it but i said to her ... xxx you get what you see and this is me its fine if you dont like it but dont tell me what i can or cannot play or do ... some flexibility in a Relationship is ok but ... deleting because my better half doesnt get my needs? Sorry no cant/wont do

[griffinpyros]

My suggestion? Go talk to your family about it, as an adult. Literally talk about it as that and not has some perverted hormonal teenager. If that's what she's holding over your head, take that away from her so she can't use it as a method to abuse you in the future. I don't know what your relationship is like with her, but if she's freaking out over something that small, there's likely a communication breakdown between you two. There's nothing wrong with you or her enjoying adult materials. If it's due to something like religious beliefs, that's a landmine you don't want to step on, defuse that situation and find a way to work around it. There's no reason either of you should not be able to enjoy the hobbies either of you have. I'm not sure what other advice to offer, just be honest with her and demand she be honest with you aswell. If you two can't talk about these things as adult, then the relationship wont survive the real storms that come with being married (coming from personal experience). My wife knows I play Skyrim with these types of mods in it, and when she sees something she feels awkward about, we talk about it and everything is fine after, but it only happens if both parties are willing to come to the table as adults willing to understand and not just wanting to fight. Again, not sure what else to add, hope things for you get settled.

[Azailahab]

I feel your pain. Communication is key. My wife and I are in our early 50's and pretty open about what we like and don't like. Now, my wife understands I am not a misogynist, nor do I actually endorse bestiality, rape, brutality etc in real life. Yes she fully realizes I am modding my Skyrim experience around severe sexual behaviors that are pretty much criminal in real life. She accepts this because it is fantasy, I do not let it in any way take from my time with her, nor let it impact our life in any way. It is my hobby, although she thinks my true hobby is modding the game more than playing the actual game. She rolls her eyes when I show her some of the mods, and surprisingly her biggest issue with the mods I use are the unrealistic breast sizes of some of the models, she is baffled at how they can stand up LOL. 

 

Someone else mentioned making a mod for her, or letting her experience the game as you experience it, this can be a good way to show her what you are interested in. My wife is not interested in the extreme stuff, however, she wants me to create a long romance type quest for her, so am learning how to create quest mods (so much stuff to learn). 

 

Again honest communication is key to it all. Explain why you want to play with and explore these types of mods, how it does not reflect who you are in real life, most of all explain how it is not a replacement for her or in any way a disappointment with who she is. Hiding it, or being dishonest about it, NEVER works out in the long run. You have best results if she does not view your fetish as competition in any way.