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"That Armor is unreliable friend, take this instead."




Ms.Heavy-Iron: Ah Riften, home of the Thieves Guild.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hopefully the people here will like this Iron Bikini Armor.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hello sir, would you like some Iron Bikini Armor?
Priest: Sorry, i'd love to get it, but i'm low on funds, maybe another time.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Okay.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hey sexy, would you like something to make you sexier.
Commoner: Sorry, not interested.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Okay.
Riften Guard: What manner of armor is that?
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Iron Bikini Armor.
Riften Guard: Looks nice, where can i get it.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Let me write you up and i'll have it shipped to you.
Riften: Thank you.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Excuse me, Would you like some Bikini armor for a friend.
Veteran: Sorry not interested.
Noblewoman: Such whorish looking armor, you should be ashamed.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: What a bitchy looking face, i can offer you a mask.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hmmm, not many orders here.
Commoner: Look at that body.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Oh wait.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: The Market should help, i know people there.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hey Brand-Shei, would you like some new Iron Bikini Armor to sell.
Brand-Shei: Oh hello Emily.

Brandi-Shei: Sure i'll take a few.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Great i'll sign you up as well.

Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hey Grelka.
Grelka: What Slut?
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Broke as usual i see, tell you what.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: You buy this armor i'm selling, and for once you'll actually get business, deal.
Grelka:....fine, whatever, sign me up.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Thanks.
Grelka (background): Damn slut.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hey sir, would you like some armor.
Merchant: Oh is that Bikini Armor.
Merchant: I heard about that through a courier, yes i'd love a few sets.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Great, i'll write you up for a few.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hey Madesi, its not jewelry, but want some new armor.

Madesi: Hmmm, if they start selling a version of that with jewels, i'd be happy to.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: I'll see what i can do.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Be sure to keep an eye out for thieves, they've been more active lately.
Madesi: Oh i've noticed.
Dinya: Mara Praises your butt child.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hey Balimund, how are you.
Balimund: Hello Emily, nice armor you have there.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Thanks, its up for sale in sets, do you want one to sell at your shop.
Balimund: I'll take a few, they'll sale like crazy here.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Wonderful.


Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hey Marise, would you like some sexy Iron Bikini armor to help sell your vegatables.
Marise: Hmmm, it would help with customers, very well i'll take one.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Great.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hey Mr.Guard, would you like some Iron Bikini armor for a friend.
Riften Guard: Sorry, i have no one like that, but i appricate the offer. Also you look beautiful in it.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Why thank you, you're too kind.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Okay i think that's everyone in Riften.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Time to head off.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Excuse me, can you take me to Whiterun.
Sigaar: Sorry, i only go to Falkcreath and Windhelm, but you can take the carriage from Windhelm to Whiterun.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Great I'll do that.
(A few hours later)
Ms.Heavy-Iron: You're staring again.
Alfarinn: Sorry its....the Jiggling, i can't.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: I don't mind if you look or even touch, just watch the road please.
Alfarinn: Yes of course....wait did you say touch.





Ms.Heavy-Iron: Ahh, back home, time to show off this Dragonplate Bikini.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Feels a little Empty without my Necklace, oh well, i can get changed later, lets just go to work.
Adrianne: Oh hello Emily, what's that you're wearing.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: This is Dragonplate Bikini Armor.

Ms.Heavy-Iron: I'm selling it, would you like to buy a few.
Adrianne: Sure, i'd like to get one for myself as well.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Nice, you'd look ultra sexy in it.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hey cutie, want some Dragonplate Bikini armor for a friend.
Commoner: Well, i.
Whiterun Guard: If he doesn't want one, i'll take one, and you too.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: I'll have to pass on the second one for now.
Nobleman: Excuse me young lass, but where did you get such beautiful armor.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Its not up for sale yet, i can sign you up.
Nobleman: Great, i'll take a few of those.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hey Jon, how are you.
Jon: Good, what is that armor you are wearing.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Dragonplate Bikini armor, perhaps you want one, maybe to see Olfina wear?
Jon: Yes, i'll take one.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Great.
Merchant: Whoa there you lass, are you up for sale, i'd like to buy you.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Maybe another time.

Ms.Heavy-Iron: But you can order this armor for other girls to wear for later.
Merchant: Then i'll take 2.
Merchant Guard: I'll take one myself.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Perfect.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hey Fralia, how are you doing.
Fralia: Oh hello sweetie, wearing clothes today i see, well in a way.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Yep, selling armor, want some.
Fralia: Sure, i'll take one.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Sweet, i'm sure Eorlund will be pleased.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hey Anoriath, want some Dragonplate bikini Armor.

Anoriath: Sorry, i don't, but if you happen to be selling a Dragonbone bow with it, i might buy 2.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: I'll do my best to see what i can do.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hey Carlotta, want some armor to make men really eat out of your hands, might help with sales.
Carlotta: Hmmm, well i suppose it'd be a good investment, sure.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Great.

Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hey Guard, want some Bikini Armor.
Whiterun Guard: Sure, if you plan to model it for us more later.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hmmm, maybe later this week then.
Whiterun Guard: Then its a deal.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Great!
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hmmm, maybe i should try to sell some to Heimskir?
Heimskir: And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people!
Ms.Heavy-Iron: On second though, fuck Heimskir.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Lets see what Ria and Aela think of it now.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hey Aela.
Aela: So Eorlund got some fool to model it huh? Should've known i'd be you.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: your just jealous.
Aela: Of what?
Ms.Heavy-Iron: That i can rock this look better than you.
Aela: I'm not.....fine, where can i get one.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Sign here please.
Ria: Wow, that looks better than i thought, still whorish, but you can pull it off.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Thanks, i'm gonna go show Eorlund, i'm sure he'll love to see it. Want me to write one up for you too.
Ria: Sure.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Great!
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hey Eorlund i'm back, what do you think?
Eorlund: I think i picked the right person for the job.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hehe, thanks.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: This is some nice armor too, you gonna sell it too.
Eorlund: Of course, i could ask you to model it for me as well when people ask.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Heh, sure.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Thanks again for recommending me this job, i really appreciate it.
Eorlund: Any time, the daughter of Luna Shatter-Fist is always welcome here.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Heh, thanks Eorlund.
Eorlund: I wish i could get Fralia to where such a thing.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Oh, well i guess the gods answers you're prayier then.
Eorlund: What do you mean.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Nothing, Oh, its getting late, I should go.
Eorlund: Okay, Thanks for showing me the armor, i'm thankful.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: No problem.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Have a good day Eorlund.
Eorlund: No problem. Be safe on your way home.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: I will.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Ah, time for a good nights sleep.





Ms.Heavy-Iron: Alvor, i'm back!
Alvor: Ah, Emily, glad to se-!
Alvor: Ysmirs Beard!
Ms.Heavy-Iron: What do you think?
Alvor: What is that mask!?
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Something i found on a dragur, i thought i'd look cool.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Guess it was a little too much, i'll take it off.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Thanks again for the job by the way it was pretty fun.
Alvor: No no thank you. I appreciate the help.
Alvor: Did you get a lot of names.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Sort've, i only got a few.
Alvor: This is over 50, small but a good start, the amounts per person is surprising.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: I convinced them a little.
Alvor: I see, well thank you, by the way.


Alvor: You said you got that Horrifying mask off a Dead Dragur.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Yeah, it was a big one too.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: "I read through the Dragonbone book and found it lead me to Hamvir's Rest, it said their'd be a giant there but when i got there."
Ms.Heavy-Iron: "I found a giant dead Dragur with this mask and cloth, i guess someone got there first, lots of slash marks too."
Alvor: I see, well this was a secondary task which was to kill Rahvok, a former warrior who invented this armor years ago but got angry because he couldn't wear it.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: That's just....weird.
Alvor: Indeed, I was going to ask you about but seeing that you tried to go and take care of it on your own i'm very greatful. Eorlund sure did send the right person for the job. Going to try to do the task anyways, thank you.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Aww, you flatter me.
Alvor: I need a good bonus for you.
Alvor: I know, how about i give you all the armor i made, you can keep it and modify it as you wish.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Whoa, Alvor you don't have to.
Alvor: I insist.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Thank you very much Alvor. I don't know what to say.
Alvor: No, thank you, my friend will be very grateful. He will send you the money by Courier. Thank you very much again.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: No problem Alvor, here are your books back too.
Alvor: Thanks.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Have a great day, and thanks again for the job and armor.
Alvor: Have a good day Heavy-Iron.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hmmm, still though.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: I wonder what killed that Draguar. Normally i'm the only person in whiterun tough enough to fight some of that level, it looked stronger than a Deathlord.

Ms.Heavy-Iron: Well, whoever you are thank you for the new armor, best of luck to you fellow adventurer.





(Two Days Earlier, Hamir's Rest)
Ther1pper: What?
Ther1pper: the Fuck
Ther1pper: Am i about to fight?
Ravhok: BIKINI!!!!
Ther1pper: AH IT BURNS!!! YOU DICK!!!
Another character has shown up, who is he, is he good, is he strong, is he important main character, why did he fight it, find out.....


Right Now!
-HA HA, FUCK NO! Background and minor only.
-I came across this asshole at random, still suffering 2nd degree burns. He killed me while i was trying to make this. 3 hits=Dead.




Part 1: http://www.loverslab.com/blog/407/entry-2461-shitty-armor-13/
Part 2: http://www.loverslab.com/blog/407/entry-2549-shitty-armor-23/


Hope you enjoyed another shitty story, thank you Nisetanaka, Someone, Diablo, and Koffman77 for making these sexy armors, can't wait for the next one. Which is part of the reason i made this now, i couldn't wait. PATIENCE IS NOT A VIRTUE!!!


I will be taking a short break while i come up with the next story. The next one will try to be more of an actual story too rather than an excuse to show off sexy poses in armor, though that's fun anyways.


Bonne Journee!


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Mara bless her butt, indeed. Nicely done, sir. Good story - finally we know her name (or I overread it ever since).

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Guest Donegan


I love your story, she is so beautiful and naughty. Next time she can consult the best blacksmith of Skyrim, Seline, she can forge many things that you have no idea.

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Haha, a very funny and sexy story you made there, she looks great in the bikini armors :D

Also, the last little bonus story made me laugh really hard xD

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I just went through the other parts, good read. Was kind of hoping she'd run into a troll or some horny beast during her journey, but oh well.

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I just went through the other parts, good read. Was kind of hoping she'd run into a troll or some horny beast during her journey, but oh well.

I don't have any beastality mods.....yet.

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Very nice story! Loved all the parts and this one was my preferred, make-me laugh kinda hard on Heimskir and the bonus part.

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I don't have any beastality mods.....yet.



"yet" hahaha!! I can't wait for the next part, you got me hooked on it.

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