Chapter 10: Shitty Armor (1/3)
"That Armor is unreliable, take this instead."
(Whiterun)
(Skyforge)
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Yes, Skjor keep it up.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Ahhh!
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Just like that!
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Yes!
Eorlund: Kids.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Come on, Skjor, keep it up.
Skjor: I can't hold on much longer.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Don't worry, i can move, just relax.
Skjor: I can't.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hold, on, almost there.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: yes, yes
Ms.Heavy-Iron: YES!!!
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Mmmmm
Ms.Heavy-Iron: That was good.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Thanks for this business
Eorlund: You know, you could simply join us, we've heard of your skills the Hunt enough for you to join without an inciation
Eorlund: We've got beds and good business too for the most part.
Eorlund: and you won't have to whore yourself out either.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: thanks for the offer, but i'm fine on my own.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: I have plenty of money, i just love having sex so i simply made a business out of it, i'm not doing it because i have to, but because i love to.
Eorlund: Very well, but if you ever need help just let us know.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: I appricate it. Also don't you guys already have an archer?
Eorlund: Aela, yes but she's about our only good archer, so having a second one wouldn't be too bad.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: I see, i'll think about it. By the way i do need a good job, a rather high paying one too, i need to fix my house.
Eorlund: Why, what happened?
Ms.Heavy-Iron: I'm not going to go into details, but the short story is i had a skeever problem and my method of solving it made more of a mess. So do you have anything.
Eorlund: A job to fix a house, no there hasn't been o-!
Eorlund: Actually one did pop up, but no one has wanted to take it. It might be your type of job actually.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Oh?
Eorlund: Alvor of Riverwood sent me a messege saying that an aquinence of his is looking to pay a large amount of coin to anyone willing to help him with something called Bikini Armor.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: what's a Bikini?
Eorlund: No idea, but apparently they want someone to go around skyrim wearing the armor to show it off.
Eorlund: They are requesting females only, both Ria and Aela have seen the armor and decided not to take the job due to it being "Whorish" looking.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: So you think that just because i actually am a part time prostitute that i'll take a job like this at the drop of a hat.
Eorlund: Sorry, i wasn't trying to off-
Ms.Heavy-Iron: I'm just kidding, i am what i am.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Don't worry, i'll take the job, seems simple enough.
Eorlund: Thank you Emily, i appricate it, just tell Alvor i sent you. And heres the paper with the information.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Thanks, I'll be off then.
Eorlund: Be safe okay, and try to show me at least one of the armors okay!
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Will do!
(Riverwood)
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hello Alvor.
Alvor: Hello Emily, haven't seen you in awhile, how are you?
Ms.Heavy-Iron: I'm doing good. How about you.
Alvor: Pretty good, so what can i do for you.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Eorlund sent me, i'm here to help with um...
Ms.Heavy-Iron: "Wearing Shitty Bikini Armor" So what's a bikini and why are they calling it shitty?
Alvor: Its a female swimsuit similar to underwear, as to why they call it shitty, i'm not sure ask them.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: I see, so i'm basically modeling them.
Alvor: Yes, its a strange request, but good pay. They want you to go to 7 different cities, Falkcreath, Morthal, Soltitude, Markarth, Whiterun, Riften, and Windhelm modeling each of these 7 armors. Be sure to ask people if they want them and recommend them to me, and make sure you talk to blacksmiths if you can, to connect them to me so other people can get this armor made in their city. Make a list of people as well. Also i'd avoid entering stores, they might not like look of the outfits in their shops.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Okay, i'll all that, remember that, i already got some paper too.
Alvor: Good, also here are the books on them, i've already premade the armor, i can give you a horse if you like.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: No thanks, i can conjure them to a chest, it might have just enough space, probably can't care more than that though.
Alvor: Okay. Also since this is the first set, feel free to give people discounts, so long as its not too low.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Alright, that should help a lot.
Alvor: Thank you again Emily, we really Appreciates this.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: No problem.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Okay, off to Falkcreath.
(Falkreath)
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Wow, suddenly got cold. Rainy too.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Oh well, not that cold anyways. Time to model this Wolf Bikini Armor.
Goat: Baa!!!
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Awww, hello there, aren't you cute.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hmm, so i'm supposed to model this, how should i do that.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Oh, right, i should try to pose cutely as i talk to potential customers, should get them more interested.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Who should i go to first, ah theres one.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hello, would you like to buy some wolf armor.
Noblewoman: No.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Excuse me sir, want some armor.
Nobleman: Nope.
Child: Whoa, her butt is so big!
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Excuse me would you like some armor.
Tekla: Maybe, where could i get it?
Ms.Heavy-Iron: I'm making a list, it should be sent to you.
Tekla: okay.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hey Lod, want to make a bunch of money.
Lod: No, you find my dog?
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Nope.... so want to make money with new armor.
Lod: Sure.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Excuse me, would you like some armor.
Noblewoman 2: Sorry, not interested.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Fellow adventurer, would you like some armor.
Adventurer: Hmm, that might look good on my wife, i'll take one.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Great, i'll add you to my list.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Would you lik-.
Thadgeir: No, i need more wood.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: um....okay.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hmmm, who else. Ah there's someone.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Excuse me sir, i'd like to talk.
Mathies: Sorry sweetie, i'm married.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Oh i'm not selling that, i'm selling Wolf Bikini armor.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Maybe you want one for your wife to wear.
Mathies: Well, sex has gotten a little stale, sure i'll take one.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Great, i'll add you to the list.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Okay i think that's everyone.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Time to go.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Markarth here i come.
(Markarth)
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Damn, my equipment is taking up too much space.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: That magic chest i have can't hold anymore either, I guess i can just leave it with Kelppr for now, i'm sure he won't mind too much.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Ah, much better.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Lets see who wants some Bikini Blades armor.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hello there, would you like some Wolf Armor.
Hogni: This is a meat stand, i only buy or sell meat, so sorry no, now leave, your distracting my costumers.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Okay, relax, don't get all fussy.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hello Kerah, would you like some armor.
Kerah: Sorry, i don't have the money for it.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Are you sure, your Husband might like it, and i can probably get you a discount as its the first set.
Kerah: Well, when you put it that way, sure right me up for some.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: A good choice.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Where to now, maybe Ghorza would like some.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hey Ghorza, want some new armor sets to sell.
Ghorza: If that's armor i'm Malakath. But sure, these idiots will buy anything.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: I want to argue with that....but i can't.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hello Miss, would you like some sexy new armor.
Stormcloak Soldier: No thanks, this is the only sexy armor i need.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: You and I have two different idea's on what sexy is.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Want some armor.
Hathrasil: Sorry got metal to shape.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: How about you Mulush.
Mulush: No.
Mulush: and if you interrupt my workers again i will beat your pretty face in.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Oh Mulush, remember the last time you tried to fight me.
Mulush: ...........I-I'll take three.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: A wise choice.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Would you like some armor.
Adventurer: No thanks.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hey there Vilglent, you and your friends need some new armor to fight Daedra in?
Tyranus: Sorry, we're good on armor. So about this house.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: For the 80th time no.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Okay, i think that's everyone time to get my stuff.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU LOST IT!!!
Kleppr: I'm sorry, one minute it was there, the next it was gone.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Really!
Ms.Heavy-Iron: I trusted you to look after my armor, how could it be gone.
Kleppr: Well, we can double check my room where i stored it to see.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Lets do that.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: So this is where you stored it.
Kleppr: yes, but i actually do know where your equipment is, i brought you here for a different reason.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: excuse me?
Kleppr: I've been very pent up lately, my wife hates me for some reason too and refuses to stay in the same bed with me, and i was wondering if you could have some fun with me, feel free to say no.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Kleppr i will do many things, one thing i try to avoid is helping someone cheat, your married, you should stay loyal, besides this would just make your Wife hate you more.
Kleppr: Your right, your right, i'm sorry, i don't know what i was thinking. I just wish i could have some time with my wife again.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Its alright, we all make mistakes.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Tell you what, i have an idea, stay right here i'll bring Frabbi here.
Kleppr: W-why?
Ms.Heavy-Iron: You'll see.
(Few minutes later)
Ms.Heavy-Iron: So that's how he's feeling.
Kleppr: I'm sorry about what i tried to do i just.
Frabbi: I'm sorry, i didn't realize i made you feel that way.
Frabbi: I'll try to be less hard on you, we can be like when we first met, screwing all night.
Kleppr: Sure, but its been awhile.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: and that's why i'm here, come here Frabbi.
Frabbi: What are yo-!
Frabbi: Ahh
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Kleppr look at how wet your wife is, looks like she's been iching for it as much as you have.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Heh, you hear that, the sound of your husband masterbating as he watches his wife get turned on by another woman.
Frabbi: you!
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Oh, that set you off, mmmm.
Frabbi: your pretty wet yourself.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Kleppr stop masturbating and come over here, lets have some fun.
Kleppr: Y-yes.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Mmmm
Frabbi: I Forgot how big you were.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: He's a pretty good kisser too.
Frabbi: Yeah, i can't hold on anymore, i have to put it in now.
Frabbi: Yes!
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Oh, you are pretty good at eating too.
Frabbi: Yes, keep going!
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Hey, mind if i try that?
Frabbi: Go ahead.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Oh he is big, hmm.
Frabbi: Yes, eat it you lazy bum!
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Oh he got harder, ohhh, he's like that.
Frabbi:mmmm
Ms.Heavy-Iron: your pretty good at deepthroating, but enough messing around, you two get on the bed and have some fun.
Frabbi: Oh yes, Kleppr.
Kleppr: Dear, this feels go good.
Frabbi: Oh yes!
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Aww, how sweet.
Frabbi: Harder, yes!
Ms.Heavy-Iron: I hate to interupt, but could i have my weapons and equipment back now.
Kleppr: Under*gasp*, the bed.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Thanks.
Kleppr: I love you Frabbi!
Frabbi: I love you too Kleppr, now fuck me like a bear!
Kleppr: Yes!
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Have fun you two.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Ah, that was a nice short fuck.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Alright time to go.
Ms.Heavy-Iron: Sweet Almost there.
Lots of pictures, More to come.
Part 2: http://www.loverslab.com/blog/407/entry-2549-shitty-armor-23/
Part 3: http://www.loverslab.com/blog/407/entry-2550-shitty-armor-33/
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