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Chapter Two


renferal

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Back on solid ground, Sirrae attempts to seek refuge from the war at Solitude. There she runs into an ambitious young adventurer who wishes to join forces with her.

 

Spoiler

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Additional Credits:

Spoiler

I would be remiss not to mention the fabulous follower mod that was used in this chapter. She quickly became an important character in the story of Sirrae once I found her.

 

Chaconne can be found on the Nexus, and for this chapter I used the most recent variant (1.4 at time of writing). Chaconne by rxkx22

 

 

Edited by renferal

13 Comments


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Wow, that was really enjoyable and great read! 
I love your ease of storytelling. As your main character and a choose of a follower.
Interestingly enough, few people raise the topic of racial discrimination in the narrative and place such an emphasis on it, although it seems to me that this is an acutely social topic.
Great story, Renferal! 

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such a nice story, i love the two characters supporting each other ❤️

not very wholesome - but skyrim is a dangerous place ^^

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thank you great story telling again , i hope the girls also get some revenge on the bad guys  ?

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Yay? I love Chaconne

 

She and Jahiya were my first  Custom NPCs I used in Skyrim!

I’ve  wanted to use Chaconne in my stories but I think she was too cute for my dark tonal stories


 

Love your night shots btw. Screenshoting scenes in the night while keeping the characters and action visibly lit is not easy to do.

 

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Interesting chapter ; more nuanced than the good ending/bad ending of the previous one. The rapes felt a bit too easy however, aside from Chaconne (who was already undressed), I'd imagine that assaulting a woman in a crowded inn wouldn't go that smoothly. Yet, let's just admit that Sirrae isn't the most combative elf and had drank a bit, but that contrasts with her team beating the necromancers rather easily (which for some reason wasn't shown, while it would've been a good occasion to shed a different light over your characters skills). The twist of the final assaulter thinking his victim looks alike his daughter... because she is was twisted as hell however. Nice one. XD

 

Second, it's still quite pleasant for you to go by the effort of a comic style story. However, that shouldn't be made at the expense of clarity : sometimes you do use fused bubbles (which suggest the locutor doesn't stop talking), and sometimes separate ones (which on the contrary imply a pause before replying back), while you're in fact nearly always in the second situation. Separating the bubbles (would it be solely with a small tail)  or staying with separate bubbles would make things clearer.

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Separate bubbles :

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VS fused bubbles :

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Problem being the replicas are in fact followed by pauses in the second case as well.

 

 

Also, Sirrae's empty framed fonts might not be always easy to read when going for smaller onomatopoeia. Considering you've better compressed your images, you could try to display them full width to improve the presence and legibility (as explained at the Storytellers, in part III of the tutorial).

 

It would give something like that :

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Instead of

 

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Anyway, nice work, and awaiting for chapter 3 ! :D

 

 

 

ldyMRSUy_o.png  « I  knew that going around in her underwear would cause problems, uh. Sirrae clearly needs lots of expert advice. million_dollar_baby.gif

 

                1 - First you should get better clothes. Here ->SR-icon-clothing-Clothes9(f).pngIt'll also keep you warm and make you look like an expert, yes.

                2 - Second, you should find better friends. Like him -> QDAsCZMe_o.png or her -> w9npn7Jo_o.png . People won't bother you when they're around, no. :classic_lightbulb:

               3 - And third, you should keep a knife on you, and move a lot so they can't grab you, like this -> c3e73f48d9d2b6f0b0886f64a5340e64.gif

 

               And it should go very better, yes:classic_sleepy: »

 

 

 

 

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How did she end up getting her silk skirt back? Did she steal it back from the guard or did find another laying around somewhere?

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On 4/11/2021 at 5:37 AM, Nyx Morrigan said:

How did she end up getting her silk skirt back? Did she steal it back from the guard or did find another laying around somewhere?

 

Originally I had a scene where she bought a new one from a local merchant (she is in solitude, after all), but it got cut from the final version of this chapter.

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On 4/10/2021 at 7:52 AM, Tirloque said:

Second, it's still quite pleasant for you to go by the effort of a comic style story. However, that shouldn't be made at the expense of clarity : sometimes you do use fused bubbles (which suggest the locutor doesn't stop talking), and sometimes separate ones (which on the contrary imply a pause before replying back), while you're in fact nearly always in the second situation. Separating the bubbles (would it be solely with a small tail)  or staying with separate bubbles would make things clearer.


That's an interesting point. I hadn't really drawn that conclusion between the two. I'll keep that in mind, thanks.

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On 4/8/2021 at 6:03 PM, devious-Drunna said:

Love your night shots btw. Screenshoting scenes in the night while keeping the characters and action visibly lit is not easy to do.

 

Facelight Plus has been a GODSEND for night shots. Most underrated mod ever.

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Hey just wondering if it could be possible to get a link to the armor Sirrae is wearing in this chapter please.

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