Female members of Loverslab

Nikita · June 15, 2013

dark vergil

you could say the same for women but imo they are worse women always go for the badboys/egocentrics and get betrayed and hurt then they run back to them or find another badboy even worse they find a women beater which they end up marrying

apparently nice guys are "too nice" so they like the above or they want to be kept treated mean there is saying "treat them mean keep them kean" or some BS like that i guess nice guys do finish last

the truth is women dont know what they want until they are about 40

anyway i dont really like talking about this sort of stuff usually just ignore it but when someone says men like this, that blah blah just annoys me when your geander is just as worse at picking a partner

I once watched a guy I knew insult a girl to tears, and continued insulting her afterwards for fun. He was smiling and laughing the whole time. Next thing he did start rubbing...certain parts of her, and they had sex immediately. She was still crying when his advances started, but she had sex with him any damn way. They got married, and had a kid. They're divorced now. Hmm, I wonder why?

i dont know if your taking the piss or being serious either thats messed up and females usually realise there with assholes when its too late and they have had children etc

why didnt you say or do anything?

I was expecting her to at least try to, I don't know...leave? He wasn't exactly keeping her there, and she wasn't making the slightest attempt to stop anything he said or did. Nothing. She's the type that wouldn't put up with shit like that, but this was different, some reason. It's almost like all of the insults were only turning her on...very strange, but I've wanted girls who have been mean to me, so I suppose it's not impossible. You could sort of tell she wasn't as bothered by it as she SHOULD have been. This one was a bit rediculous though. Shoulda said no outta basic principle and self-respect, dignity! No! Get away from me, or something. I'd have said something had it gotten any worse, but this was all in a matter of like 1 minute. He made fun of her because of someone she had previously dated, then he called her cheap and easy and shit because she hooked up with this guy (he hated this guy a lot), so she started crying. After like 2 more quick jokes at that guys and her expense, he started getting on her. She was very "responsive". Definately a willing participant. Tried a few times later on in life to get her ditch him, but she claimed she loved him. Absurd.

thats just.... i dont know what to say?

atleast you tried

some girls want to be treated like cattle or slaves..... for sexual reasons. So some will seek that out, a I have found many men who cant be both caring and viciously dominant in sexual situation. Its are to find the best of both worlds.

(had to change my font size because I didnt want it looking like my quote from another user was my own writing, guess the quote thing messed up)

AwfulArchdemon · June 15, 2013

data-author="Nikita">
contenteditable="false">Quote
data-author="Nikita">Nikita, on 14 Jun
2013 - 11:03 PM, said:

data-author="dark vergil">dark vergil,
on 12 Jun 2013 - 8:13 PM, said:

data-author="AwfulArchdemon">contenteditable="false">AwfulArchdemon, on 11 Jun 2013 - 9:19 PM, said:

data-author="dark vergil">dark vergil,
on 11 Jun 2013 - 8:18 PM, said:

data-author="AwfulArchdemon">contenteditable="false">AwfulArchdemon, on 11 Jun 2013 - 7:49 PM, said:

contenteditable="false">Quote

data-cke-saved-href="http://www.loverslab.com/user/103171-dark-vergil/">dark

vergil

you could say the same for women but imo they are worse women always go for

the badboys/egocentrics and get betrayed and hurt then they run back to

them or find another badboy even worse they find a women beater which they end

up marrying

apparently nice guys are "too nice" so they like the above or they want to be

kept treated mean there is saying "treat them mean keep them kean" or some BS

like that i guess nice guys do finish last

the truth is women dont know what they want until they are about 40

anyway i dont really like talking about this sort of stuff usually just

ignore it but when someone says men like this, that blah blah just annoys me

when your geander is just as worse at picking a partner

I once watched a guy I knew insult a girl to tears, and continued insulting

her afterwards for fun. He was smiling and laughing the whole time. Next thing

he did start rubbing...certain parts of her, and they had sex immediately. She

was still crying when his advances started, but she had sex with him any damn

way. They got married, and had a kid. They're divorced now. Hmm, I wonder

why?

i dont know if your taking the piss or being serious either thats messed up

and females usually realise there with assholes when its too late and they have

had children etc

why didnt you say or do anything?

I was expecting her to at least try to, I don't know...leave? He wasn't

exactly keeping her there, and she wasn't making the slightest attempt to stop

anything he said or did. Nothing. She's the type that wouldn't put up with shit

like that, but this was different, some reason. It's almost like all of the

insults were only turning her on...very strange, but I've wanted girls who have

been mean to me, so I suppose it's not impossible. You could sort of tell she

wasn't as bothered by it as she SHOULD have been. This one was a bit rediculous

though. Shoulda said no outta basic principle and self-respect, dignity! No!

Get away from me, or something. I'd have said something had it gotten any

worse, but this was all in a matter of like 1 minute. He made fun of her

because of someone she had previously dated, then he called her cheap and easy

and shit because she hooked up with this guy (he hated this guy a lot), so she

started crying. After like 2 more quick jokes at that guys and her

expense, he started getting on her. She was very "responsive". Definately a

willing participant. Tried a few times later on in life to get her ditch

him, but she claimed she loved him. Absurd.

thats just.... i dont know what to say?

atleast you tried

some girls want to be treated like cattle or

slaves..... for sexual reasons. So some will seek that out, a I have found many

men who cant be both caring and viciously dominant in sexual situation. Its are

to find the best of both worlds.

(had to change my font size because I didnt want it looking like my quote

from another user was my own writing, guess the quote thing messed

up)

This quote thing is screwy sometimes. Anyway, just wanted to point out that this applies to both genders. Guys and girls, for the most part, are usually 1 type of person. Nice, or mean, and often an extreme version of the type.

I can actually be both, but I can't be downright mean about it. Being aggressive and dominant is one thing (I can do that), but some things girls seem to want...worries me. For example. I've had more than 1 girl specifically tell me to rape her, in those words. They didn't appear to be kidding either (I can't do that). Taking off their shirts, and saying things like that to me (1 time in front of a friend of mine. His dumbass was like "I'll do it". He's really weird. REALLY weird. She was like "No! I want him (me) to do it) was just...disturbing. 2 different girls, 2 different times. Would a girl, any girl actually want that? Or was this like, 2 extremely rare occurances? (sigh) Why me? Why the AwfulArchdemon? lol

Should I have been turned on? 1 of them was hot, and the one who acted up in front of that weird guy was just fine as hell! Kinda seems like I should have been. I mean, I use sex mods (mostly rape) in Skyrim and Fallout: NV, and I like them (if you know what I mean), so it sorta seems like I should have thought of this as a once in a lifetime opportunity or something. I have the fantasy in game, but not in RL, it seems, even when it's her idea. Instead, I took a moment to put this girl's shirt back on (wtf? :huh: Was I feeling okay?), and I explained to her why it's a bad idea to just go telling someone she doesn't know very well to do...that. I had only met her 2 other times before that. I knew she liked me, but damn!

What to you think, ladies? If you were her, would you be more mad/disappointed if I did as you (she) asked, or if I didn't (and then gave that little lecture)? She certainly wasn't happy about my decision! :exclamation: (she got PISSED!) The answer's probably pretty obvious, but you never know. Maybe someone has a unique opinion.

(btw, that girl ended up being my girlfriend a week later, when she outright proclaimed her :heart: for me) :blush:

Nonsense667 · June 15, 2013

dark vergil

you could say the same for women but imo they are worse women always go for the badboys/egocentrics and get betrayed and hurt then they run back to them or find another badboy even worse they find a women beater which they end up marrying

apparently nice guys are "too nice" so they like the above or they want to be kept treated mean there is saying "treat them mean keep them kean" or some BS like that i guess nice guys do finish last

the truth is women dont know what they want until they are about 40

anyway i dont really like talking about this sort of stuff usually just ignore it but when someone says men like this, that blah blah just annoys me when your geander is just as worse at picking a partner

I once watched a guy I knew insult a girl to tears, and continued insulting her afterwards for fun. He was smiling and laughing the whole time. Next thing he did start rubbing...certain parts of her, and they had sex immediately. She was still crying when his advances started, but she had sex with him any damn way. They got married, and had a kid. They're divorced now. Hmm, I wonder why?

i dont know if your taking the piss or being serious either thats messed up and females usually realise there with assholes when its too late and they have had children etc

why didnt you say or do anything?

I was expecting her to at least try to, I don't know...leave? He wasn't exactly keeping her there, and she wasn't making the slightest attempt to stop anything he said or did. Nothing. She's the type that wouldn't put up with shit like that, but this was different, some reason. It's almost like all of the insults were only turning her on...very strange, but I've wanted girls who have been mean to me, so I suppose it's not impossible. You could sort of tell she wasn't as bothered by it as she SHOULD have been. This one was a bit rediculous though. Shoulda said no outta basic principle and self-respect, dignity! No! Get away from me, or something. I'd have said something had it gotten any worse, but this was all in a matter of like 1 minute. He made fun of her because of someone she had previously dated, then he called her cheap and easy and shit because she hooked up with this guy (he hated this guy a lot), so she started crying. After like 2 more quick jokes at that guys and her expense, he started getting on her. She was very "responsive". Definately a willing participant. Tried a few times later on in life to get her ditch him, but she claimed she loved him. Absurd.

thats just.... i dont know what to say?

atleast you tried

some girls want to be treated like cattle or slaves..... for sexual reasons. So some will seek that out, a I have found many men who cant be both caring and viciously dominant in sexual situation. Its are to find the best of both worlds.

(had to change my font size because I didnt want it looking like my quote from another user was my own writing, guess the quote thing messed up)

This quote thing is screwy sometimes. Anyway, just wanted to point out that this applies to both genders. Guys and girls, for the most part, are usually 1 type of person. Nice, or mean, and often an extreme version of the type.

I can actually be both, but I can't be downright mean about it. Being aggressive and dominant is one thing (I can do that), but some things girls seem to want...worries me. For example. I've had more than 1 girl specifically tell me to rape her, in those words. They didn't appear to be kidding either (I can't do that). Taking off their shirts, and saying things like that to me (1 time in front of a friend of mine. His dumbass was like "I'll do it". He's really weird. REALLY weird. She was like "No! I want him (me) to do it) was just...disturbing. 2 different girls, 2 different times. Would a girl, any girl actually want that? Or was this like, 2 extremely rare occurances? (sigh) Why me? Why the [/size]AwfulArchdemon[/size]? lol

Should I have been turned on? 1 of them was hot, and the one who acted up in front of that weird guy was just fine as hell! Kinda seems like I should have been. I mean, I use sex mods (mostly rape) in Skyrim and Fallout: NV, and I like them (if you know what I mean), so it sorta seems like I should have thought of this as a once in a lifetime opportunity or something. I have the fantasy in game, but not in RL, it seems, even when it's her idea. Instead, I took a moment to put this girl's shirt back on (wtf? Was I feeling okay?), and I explained to her why it's a bad idea to just go telling someone she doesn't know very well to do...that. I had only met her 2 other times before that. I knew she liked me, but damn!

What to you think, ladies? If you were her, would you be more mad/disappointed if I did as you (she) asked, or if I didn't (and then gave that little lecture)? She certainly wasn't happy about my decision! (she got PISSED!) The answer's probably pretty obvious, but you never know. Maybe someone has a unique opinion.

(btw, that girl ended up being my girlfriend a week later, when she outright proclaimed her for me)

BEHOLD MY GLORY AS I FIX THIS FUCKING MESS Of QUOTES. XD

And now for the post I made.

========================

What this is getting into, is not gender relationships (And I am very pointedly not getting into any of the things you guys have brought up, for the record.), but D/s dynamics. There is a whole community around this, and there are safer practices around it, and not so safe practices. (Edit: Or, people who are just plain un-educated when it comes to kink.) What's being talked about, are people who engage in the not so safe practices. From someone who is into all that, the rape-play, the using and abusing, the being used and abused. Holy shit, that stuff is god damn amazing. But just doing it? Right then and there? With a random person? That's a dangerous game. And hell, maybe they even like that, that it's not safe. But in my opinion, there are some much better, safer, and honestly, I'd even say more fulfilling, and even more erotic, ways to do it. It's moments like these that I wish Cozy or Queen Bee were still active. They know so much more than me on this stuff, and quite frankly, are just plain smarter about it all.

(And for the record, sometimes, when quoting people, once you post, it can break. Preview the post first. It will go ahead and break it. Then you can go in and fix the code itself, if you know what to look for. Unfortunately, you guys have carried on with the broken quotes for so damn long it means more to search through for me, hah. Thanks. And All the quotes under spoilers under the quotes aren't helping. But Dammit, I'm gonna fix this mess. )

Edit: The situation of the girl being molested/raped/howeveryouwanttolookatit by the asshole driving her to tears reminds me of a post by Cozy, and a girl in a terrible situation.

http://www.loverslab.com/topic/6427-whats-your-fetish/page-13?do=findComment&comment=354593

Yes, it's a long post. I would strongly suggest reading the whole thing, if you want. But, If you don't, I'll try and reduce it down to the part I'm talking about.

Yes, this is the short version. Yes, you should still read the whole thing. No, I'm not crazy. That last part is debatable.

So anyway we go to the meeting, I see some familiar faces, and some newbies including some fat old guy, and this one particularly shy young woman about my age. I was like 26 at the time. Figured she was one of the many college students that attended the meetings for research at first. Anyway forget what the subject was, since I wasn't really paying attention. Then it comes time to introduce ourselves. When they got to me and my Sub, I introduce myself and her and we explain our little dynamic and sit back down. When the old fat guy gets up, he introduces himself and then goes on this long schpeal about how he wants to "control women" and how "women don't know their place anymore" etc... I mean I think I vomited in my mouth a little. Sadly he didn't sound all to dissimilar from some of the posters around here every so often. Not going to name names. But pretty much everyone there even the Mistress moderating the group was disgusted by him, even though she tried to play it cool I could tell.

So we come along to shy new young woman, and she starts talking about how she's a submissive but scared of the lifestyle because of this guy she met on the internet. She was vague, but summed it up in that she had a bad experience and wanted to understand what went wrong. This happened years ago so it's still kinda blurry but I remember somehow I got involved in the conversation and was talking about how I was a Dominant and stuff, and how I used to be a Pro-Domme. When I mentioned male submissive's, fat old guy interrupted me and said something like, "see this is what I mean she should never be dominating men, women don't know their place." I could tell the moderator was getting pissed since this was the second time he interrupted someone. She reminded him not to interrupt, there was a term for it, but I didn't attend enough meetings to remember it. Anyway I continued, and somehow got into my first time in a Dominant role with my mentor. "Two women on a man, and he paid for this?! What kind of man would let women do that to him BLAH BLAH BLAH!" Before the moderator interceded, I said something snarky like, "hey why don't you let me tie you up and play after the munch, I bet you'll like it." Not an exact quote but it was something along those lines only fit better with the situation, mind you I am paraphrasing mostly since my memory is fuzzy. He gets really pissed off and starts yelling, and finally the moderator kicks him the fuck out! The second he leaves the room, everyone in the group starts clapping!

So the group ends and typically after a group meeting everyone was invited to go to a munch at a local restaurant. You didn't have to go or anything but it was a nice way of meeting new people, or you could just go to a munch without attending a group meeting like I would usually do. I was tired though and felt like going home. Now I am usually observant but I missed something. My sub pointed it out to me. It was when everyone was getting their things and talking among themselves before leaving for the munch or just heading out. It was the girl with some kind of bad encounter, she was still sitting in her chair and kind of hugging her bag. The moderator noticed it too evidently, I knew the moderator, awesome woman, awesome Domme, she taught me quite a bit too boot. Anyway the moderator was talking to her, and she was just kind of nodding. We couldn't hear what was being said.

After she was done the girl gets up and starts to collect her stuff, my sub asks the moderator what was going on there. Apparently she had some kind of bad experience and that fat prick from earlier scared her or something so she wasn't going to go to the munch. I felt kinda bad not noticing that it upset her that much. I mean guys like that would show up from time to time, it was anything unusual. I mean during my first meeting I had some idiot yelling at me for being a female Domme even though I clearly stated I was trans, though I don't think that part sunk in. Come to think of it same in this situation.

I mean here's the thing. I've met some really awesome people in the BDSM community. Just totally awesome, compassionate, open, loving, sweet people. Sub, Domme, and switch alike. Grant you there are also plenty of petty rivalries and then there's the political BS with the organizations don't get me started. I always kept out of that kinda crap. Too much ego... Overall though I met some really great people. Sadly while the core community tries to prune out bad apples with a vengeance they do exist. They are very unwelcome but that doesn't stop them. Whether it's pushy subs, idiot dommes that don't think things through, or the most dangerous entitled, and wannabe dommes.

Okay I gotta stop trying to remember details, and try to nutshell this or I will be typing all night. Anyhoo my sub being the bouncy, bubbly, whacky, ball of energy she is decided to go talk to the girl, while I was talking to the moderator about something. I think she was asking why I didn't attend many meetings or something, which happened often. Always had to BS my way out of those conversations, since I didn't want to say that they usually bore me to death.

So yeah my sub, somehow managed to talk her into going to the munch with us. She noticed the Naruto key-chain, and well being total dorks we both watched Naruto. Funny enough this was the icebreaker. So when we get to the munch I mention Gaara is my favorite character, not sure if he still is or not, but he's up there. Moot point MUST FOCUS! Right anyway she loved Gaara too. Somewhere down the line it's brought up that I am trans, even though I mentioned it in my introduction, again no one pays attention. She asks questions about that, like, "you mean you were born a boy? But how? blah blah blah..." Then My sub almost typed her name again, starts rambling and interrupting me so I snap my fingers and say, "<insert my subs name> gag now!" She rolls her eyes and puts it on. We were in the back booth of a restaurant familiar with the organization. No norms could see us, so I figured no big deal. Then this girl seemed really curious about my relationship with my sub, like she saw that we both found humor in the gag thing, and that we got along, that it wasn't like I was the big bad Domme hurting her.

So after the munch is over we take a walk towards Penn Station. She starts to explain that she used to go online a lot and roleplay when she was a teenager. That she met her former master in one such RP. Basically what happened with this girl is she met some idiot who's only experience with BDSM was via online roleplay. Over the internet she became his r/l sub without ever meeting him! I'm thinking to myself /facepalm. Then to make matters worse she goes to be his "slave" in quotes in r/l. OMG /Double facepalm, but I could also tell she was really traumatized. She did mention she had a genuine interest in it all, but that she thought that the sub just had to do whatever the Domme wanted. I asked about safewords she said he didn't believe in them so she just took his word back then. /Triple facepalm So instead of catching my train, I park myself outside of Penn Station and loiter with her and my sub. She begins opening up, and while the play wasn't particularly extraordinarily violent, there was no aftercare, and well the way she described it she basically let him rape her, because she figured that's how it worked. She thought she would like it but she didn't. She also mentioned something called Gore, apparently later on after she became her internet master this was the RP in question that fueled their roleplay.

Gorian stuff as I learned isn't uncommon but it's based on the idea of women being slaves to men, based on some shitty novels written ages ago, that some people are into. Her so-called master got her into it. Then when she tried to leave evidently he wouldn't let her. She wanted it to stop, but he then got violent. I mean this girls story was just tragic, but I'll be the first to admit she had absolutely no idea what she was doing, and acted foolishly! She admitted as much but apparently she was very insecure, because she was a little heavy, and this guy on the internet took a shine to her, and indulged her fantasies. She isn't to blame, she's the victim, don't care if she made bad decisions, she was also coerced.

Once again people Fantasy and Reality are two different animals. She didn't seem to get this, and you know what? I've heard about this kind of crap happening before. Hell just watch some day time trash tv, every now and then they have a story similar to this. Instead of research on BDSM, she read shitty Gore novels. Yeah that's really filled with helpful facts about a healthy D/s relationship. In the end she did wind up getting restraining order against this creep, and I know plenty will say it's her fault, but look while she made some bad decisions she was victimized. No matter what, when she started to say no to this asshole that she wanted out, that should have been the end of it. Instead he tried to scare her into staying and when that didn't work he stalked her. Anyway she was like 27 when I met her, I was 26. She met this guy when she was 16 in a chatroom, and moved in with him when she was 19. She said she lived with him for about 6 months before she left, and got the restraining order when she was 21.

This girl went through hell! The guy was 8 years older than her no less, so when they first met in that chatroom she was a minor. This could help fuel my point about how age when it comes to the under aged girl post too. About naivity, yes can be no. Not knowing better etc... etc... The thing is this girl was incredibly naive and used by a total scumbag that I hope dies of rectal cancer! Now if some scumbag out there want's to blame this on her, DIAF! Look you take an insecure kid with no friends, and an adult coercing them and playing on their most shameful fantasies and accepting them, even after she's 19 you have a bad mix a brewing he had plenty of time to groom her. Yes she made poor choices, but the guy on the other side was in total control and loving it no doubt. It just makes me sick when people blame the victim, and she was a victim. She was still in therapy when I met her for for christ's sake. She realized she made really bad choices, but she really thought this guy loved her.

Ailsa · June 15, 2013

@ AwfulArchdemon - I personally feel your behaviour was superb but then I am a survivor of rape and it took me quite some time to find my balance and not to want to accuse all men of being monsters. It also took me even longer to understand that fantasy rape is totally different from the real thing and to accept that it is quite a common fantasy.

Nikita · June 15, 2013

dark vergil
you could say the same for women but imo they are worse women always go for the badboys/egocentrics and get betrayed and hurt then they run back to them or find another badboy even worse they find a women beater which they end up marrying

apparently nice guys are "too nice" so they like the above or they want to be kept treated mean there is saying "treat them mean keep them kean" or some BS like that i guess nice guys do finish last

the truth is women dont know what they want until they are about 40

anyway i dont really like talking about this sort of stuff usually just ignore it but when someone says men like this, that blah blah just annoys me when your geander is just as worse at picking a partner

I once watched a guy I knew insult a girl to tears, and continued insulting her afterwards for fun. He was smiling and laughing the whole time. Next thing he did start rubbing...certain parts of her, and they had sex immediately. She was still crying when his advances started, but she had sex with him any damn way. They got married, and had a kid. They're divorced now. Hmm, I wonder why?

i dont know if your taking the piss or being serious either thats messed up and females usually realise there with assholes when its too late and they have had children etc

why didnt you say or do anything?

I was expecting her to at least try to, I don't know...leave? He wasn't exactly keeping her there, and she wasn't making the slightest attempt to stop anything he said or did. Nothing. She's the type that wouldn't put up with shit like that, but this was different, some reason. It's almost like all of the insults were only turning her on...very strange, but I've wanted girls who have been mean to me, so I suppose it's not impossible. You could sort of tell she wasn't as bothered by it as she SHOULD have been. This one was a bit rediculous though. Shoulda said no outta basic principle and self-respect, dignity! No! Get away from me, or something. I'd have said something had it gotten any worse, but this was all in a matter of like 1 minute. He made fun of her because of someone she had previously dated, then he called her cheap and easy and shit because she hooked up with this guy (he hated this guy a lot), so she started crying. After like 2 more quick jokes at that guys and her expense, he started getting on her. She was very "responsive". Definately a willing participant. Tried a few times later on in life to get her ditch him, but she claimed she loved him. Absurd.

thats just.... i dont know what to say?

atleast you tried

some girls want to be treated like cattle or slaves..... for sexual reasons. So some will seek that out, a I have found many men who cant be both caring and viciously dominant in sexual situation. Its are to find the best of both worlds.

(had to change my font size because I didnt want it looking like my quote from another user was my own writing, guess the quote thing messed up)

This quote thing is screwy sometimes. Anyway, just wanted to point out that this applies to both genders. Guys and girls, for the most part, are usually 1 type of person. Nice, or mean, and often an extreme version of the type.

I can actually be both, but I can't be downright mean about it. Being aggressive and dominant is one thing (I can do that), but some things girls seem to want...worries me. For example. I've had more than 1 girl specifically tell me to rape her, in those words. They didn't appear to be kidding either (I can't do that). Taking off their shirts, and saying things like that to me (1 time in front of a friend of mine. His dumbass was like "I'll do it". He's really weird. REALLY weird. She was like "No! I want him (me) to do it) was just...disturbing. 2 different girls, 2 different times. Would a girl, any girl actually want that? Or was this like, 2 extremely rare occurances? (sigh) Why me? Why the

AwfulArchdemon? lol

Should I have been turned on? 1 of them was hot, and the one who acted up in front of that weird guy was just fine as hell! Kinda seems like I should have been. I mean, I use sex mods (mostly rape) in Skyrim and Fallout: NV, and I like them (if you know what I mean), so it sorta seems like I should have thought of this as a once in a lifetime opportunity or something. I have the fantasy in game, but not in RL, it seems, even when it's her idea. Instead, I took a moment to put this girl's shirt back on (wtf? :huh: Was I feeling okay?), and I explained to her why it's a bad idea to just go telling someone she doesn't know very well to do...that. I had only met her 2 other times before that. I knew she liked me, but damn!

What to you think, ladies? If you were her, would you be more mad/disappointed if I did as you (she) asked, or if I didn't (and then gave that little lecture)? She certainly wasn't happy about my decision! :exclamation: (she got PISSED!) The answer's probably pretty obvious, but you never know. Maybe someone has a unique opinion.

(btw, that girl ended up being my girlfriend a week later, when she outright proclaimed her :heart: for me) :blush:

Well some girls (I included) have a dark part of my sexuality that wants to be used, and being raped is essentially that. if the rape part bothers you in RP then think of it as you just using her like the bad little smut she is haha. While I would never outright say anything of the sort to someone I barely know unless we have discussed these types of hardcore sexual actions before hand. Its not for everyone, but some girls to like it, whether it be a pure random indugence or if theres a darker reason in their pasts that these women have been driven to these desires, but I assure you, those 2 aren't the only ones. I would have been disappointed, but not mad. But then again like I said I would have brought it before sex.

Nikita · June 15, 2013

@ AwfulArchdemon - I personally feel your behaviour was superb but then I am a survivor of rape and it took me quite some time to find my balance and not to want to accuse all men of being monsters. It also took me even longer to understand that fantasy rape is totally different from the real thing and to accept that it is quite a common fantasy.

haha as I was reading this post, I was about to mention how different actual rape is to the fantasy in a controlled environment, but when you when ahead and said it yourself! I just want to say, for someone who has had an experience with the real deal its good to see someone who can still understand the fantasy. Kudos to you Sir!

leddis3 · June 15, 2013

I have had a bit of a hard time reconciling my feelings on the subject.

Being a feminist, always striving for equality and such, but being turned on by fantasy rape and slavery.

But then I'm also a peaceful person who gains satisfaction when I kill something in a videogame. If decapitating someone in a game doesn't make me approve of murder, then putting my character in situations that may lead to rape for example doesn't mean I approve of the real thing either.

Yes this is me repeating "It's fantasy, stupid.". Redundancy aside it is something I've had to come to terms with because society in general tries to obligate us into feeling guilty about it.

lordofthedread · June 15, 2013

Actually for BDSM people there is the use of a safe word that you decide first and let you know that it went too far, because yes sometimes it just does.

I really think that rape fantasy and role play is way different than the actual act and that noone (being a woman or a man for that matter) truly wants to get raped no matter what.

I personally think that rape is the most damaging thing you can do to another human being before crippling him and it might even be up for debate.

AwfulArchdemon · June 16, 2013

My...thank you all for the replies! See, when I mentioned that there was another time a girl asked me to do that, nobody asked me what I did...I'm glad it didn't need to be mentioned.

Alrighty, now that I said that, and you're all like "Tell me you didn't!", I'll just come out and say that this request actually came during the act, but it wasn't spoken, it was just obvious. She'd start physically trying to stop me, but when I stopped, she looked at me as if to say "wtf? Don't stop!". Then the same thing happened again. She like...struggled, but I slowed down a bit, and the more I did, the more piercing that look of hers got. Most confusing sex I ever had. :huh: Even then, I totally stopped. Dammit! Sometimes I should just be the bad guy! Another disappointed girl.

Mogie56, about the other guy, he's basically the...comic relief, in just about every situation. I wouldn't say this was any real attempt to get with her (talking about the fist girl now), nor do I believe he would even be capable of raping her. She was an avid kickboxer. Really nice, but that doesn't make her any less of a kickboxer.

She was pissed because she was disappointed. I can't believe she actually meant it!

I'd rather not describe what she looked like. Might lose serious points here. :-/

Oh, and I never second guessed myself. Just wondered if anyone here thought I shoulda done what she asked. Curiousity, I guess.

Thanks again everyone!

Just thought I'd throw in another BM song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSrj0kpnBAA&feature=player_embedded

AwfulArchdemon

leddis3 · June 16, 2013

I can understand how in the heat of the moment someone can get excited and really want it.

However if she was disappointed it was really her own fault. There's nothing wrong with rape roleplay as long as both people know what they're getting into. People are extremely varied in our kinks and there should at least be some discussion about it before just putting someone on the spot like that.

Granted, my opinions on being so upfront hasn't exactly helped me in the finding relationships department but it beats expecting too much too soon.

Nonsense667 · June 16, 2013

Alrighty, now that I said that, and you're all like "Tell me you didn't!", I'll just come out and say that this request actually came during the act, but it wasn't spoken, it was just obvious. She'd start physically trying to stop me, but when I stopped, she looked at me as if to say "wtf? Don't stop!". Then the same thing happened again. She like...struggled, but I slowed down a bit, and the more I did, the more piercing that look of hers got. Most confusing sex I ever had. Even then, I totally stopped. Dammit! Sometimes I should just be the bad guy! Another disappointed girl.

No, seriously, fuck her. And not that way. If she has the kink, if she has the fetish, then she needs to open up a dialog with you about it. You need to have a mutual understanding of each other's turn ons and turn offs. Like what leddis said. Expecting someone she's with to "Just go with it" when she's resisting, is absolutely bat-shit-insane, if you guys haven't talked about it before. So, she wants to get raped by you? She wants you to keep going when she is saying no? Okay. Obviously, during the act, telling you to continue is a bit of a clash against the fantasy. So, after she wanted it, but you didn't proceed, because like you said, she was being confusing about it, she should have talked to you. Said "Hey... when I say no, sometimes it doesn't mean no." I've had a very similar conversation with someone. And you know what? That sort of dialog between two people can lead to some fucking amazing things. But you have to fucking talk about it. If she's disappointed, it's her fault. It's up to her to establish to you what her kinks are. I mean seriously. How much of a dick would I be if I got pissed at a woman for not biting my cock during oral, if I never told her I liked that? I feel like I'm repeating myself, hah, but it seems obvious to me. You're not the bad guy. Honestly? She is. What if you misread her? What if she didn't actually want that? What if you ended up actually raping a girl. Talk about it. Period.

AwfulArchdemon · June 16, 2013

Alrighty, now that I said that, and you're all like "Tell me you didn't!", I'll just come out and say that this request actually came during the act, but it wasn't spoken, it was just obvious. She'd start physically trying to stop me, but when I stopped, she looked at me as if to say "wtf? Don't stop!". Then the same thing happened again. She like...struggled, but I slowed down a bit, and the more I did, the more piercing that look of hers got. Most confusing sex I ever had. Even then, I totally stopped. Dammit! Sometimes I should just be the bad guy! Another disappointed girl.

No, seriously, fuck her. And not that way. If she has the kink, if she has the fetish, then she needs to open up a dialog with you about it. You need to have a mutual understanding of each other's turn ons and turn offs. Like what leddis said. Expecting someone she's with to "Just go with it" when she's resisting, is absolutely bat-shit-insane, if you guys haven't talked about it before. So, she wants to get raped by you? She wants you to keep going when she is saying no? Okay. Obviously, during the act, telling you to continue is a bit of a clash against the fantasy. So, after she wanted it, but you didn't proceed, because like you said, she was being confusing about it, she should have talked to you. Said "Hey... when I say no, sometimes it doesn't mean no." I've had a very similar conversation with someone. And you know what? That sort of dialog between two people can lead to some fucking amazing things. But you have to fucking talk about it. If she's disappointed, it's her fault. It's up to her to establish to you what her kinks are. I mean seriously. How much of a dick would I be if I got pissed at a woman for not biting my cock during oral, if I never told her I liked that? I feel like I'm repeating myself, hah, but it seems obvious to me. You're not the bad guy. Honestly? She is. What if you misread her? What if she didn't actually want that? What if you ended up actually raping a girl. Talk about it. Period.

Um...edit: That girl is someone I had been with a bunch of times, btw. Don't know if I mentioned that. And no, she sure as hell didn't talk about it, even during sex. She certainly seemed determined to do it ""right"" though... :-/

She was a major freak ( :lol: ), but a loyal one. And, btw...that girl sorta...

proposed marriage to me Not the getting down on one knee thing, but she... proposed the idea. Mentioned kids...all that.

Wouldn't you like to know why that one didn't work out?

Nonsense667 · June 16, 2013

Right.. Sorry, maybe the "Fuck her" was a bit harsh... but at the same time, I kinda stick by it, at the same time, you know? And no no. XD Screw not talking "even" during sex. The best time to talk about sex doesn't have to be during it. Just, you know, a dialog about kink. Hell, over dinner or something. I don't purport to be any sort of guru, expert, or anyone who should be listened to... just saying what I feel, hah.

Adam Jensen · June 16, 2013

Alrighty, now that I said that, and you're all like "Tell me you didn't!", I'll just come out and say that this request actually came during the act, but it wasn't spoken, it was just obvious. She'd start physically trying to stop me, but when I stopped, she looked at me as if to say "wtf? Don't stop!". Then the same thing happened again. She like...struggled, but I slowed down a bit, and the more I did, the more piercing that look of hers got. Most confusing sex I ever had. Even then, I totally stopped. Dammit! Sometimes I should just be the bad guy! Another disappointed girl.

No, seriously, fuck her. And not that way. If she has the kink, if she has the fetish, then she needs to open up a dialog with you about it. You need to have a mutual understanding of each other's turn ons and turn offs. Like what leddis said. Expecting someone she's with to "Just go with it" when she's resisting, is absolutely bat-shit-insane, if you guys haven't talked about it before. So, she wants to get raped by you? She wants you to keep going when she is saying no? Okay. Obviously, during the act, telling you to continue is a bit of a clash against the fantasy. So, after she wanted it, but you didn't proceed, because like you said, she was being confusing about it, she should have talked to you. Said "Hey... when I say no, sometimes it doesn't mean no." I've had a very similar conversation with someone. And you know what? That sort of dialog between two people can lead to some fucking amazing things. But you have to fucking talk about it. If she's disappointed, it's her fault. It's up to her to establish to you what her kinks are. I mean seriously. How much of a dick would I be if I got pissed at a woman for not biting my cock during oral, if I never told her I liked that? I feel like I'm repeating myself, hah, but it seems obvious to me. You're not the bad guy. Honestly? She is. What if you misread her? What if she didn't actually want that? What if you ended up actually raping a girl. Talk about it. Period.

Um...edit: That girl is someone I had been with a bunch of times, btw. Don't know if I mentioned that. And no, she sure as hell didn't talk about it, even during sex. She certainly seemed determined to do it ""right"" though...

She was a major freak ( ), but a loyal one. And, btw...that girl sorta...

proposed marriage to me Not the getting down on one knee thing, but she... proposed the idea. Mentioned kids...all that.

Wouldn't you like to know why that one didn't work out?

Because you don't like being tied down?

AwfulArchdemon · June 17, 2013

Because you don't like being tied down?

lol I get it! But no. The reason is......she was already married. And, oh yeah, she had a daughter. Soooo...yeah, didn't work out. Remember when I said all women around here were taken? Apparently, that includes my women. If a guy wants a date, he'll be going on a date with a taken girl. Better not be the jealous type around here...

_{I gotta move}

Thulas · June 17, 2013

Because you don't like being tied down?

lol I get it! But no. The reason is......she was already married. And, oh yeah, she had a daughter. Soooo...yeah, didn't work out. Remember when I said all women around here were taken? Apparently, that includes my women. If a guy wants a date, he'll be going on a date with a taken girl. Better not be the jealous type around here...

_{I gotta move}

How about a sexchange? Just imagine how many datingopportunities you'd had!

On the secound thought, that might be a dumb idea.

So, yes, move it.

And yes, I am way too bored right now.

M.BISON · June 17, 2013

dark vergil

you could say the same for women but imo they are worse women always go for the badboys/egocentrics and get betrayed and hurt then they run back to them or find another badboy even worse they find a women beater which they end up marrying

apparently nice guys are "too nice" so they like the above or they want to be kept treated mean there is saying "treat them mean keep them kean" or some BS like that i guess nice guys do finish last

the truth is women dont know what they want until they are about 40

anyway i dont really like talking about this sort of stuff usually just ignore it but when someone says men like this, that blah blah just annoys me when your geander is just as worse at picking a partner

I once watched a guy I knew insult a girl to tears, and continued insulting her afterwards for fun. He was smiling and laughing the whole time. Next thing he did start rubbing...certain parts of her, and they had sex immediately. She was still crying when his advances started, but she had sex with him any damn way. They got married, and had a kid. They're divorced now. Hmm, I wonder why?

i dont know if your taking the piss or being serious either thats messed up and females usually realise there with assholes when its too late and they have had children etc

why didnt you say or do anything?

I was expecting her to at least try to, I don't know...leave? He wasn't exactly keeping her there, and she wasn't making the slightest attempt to stop anything he said or did. Nothing. She's the type that wouldn't put up with shit like that, but this was different, some reason. It's almost like all of the insults were only turning her on...very strange, but I've wanted girls who have been mean to me, so I suppose it's not impossible. You could sort of tell she wasn't as bothered by it as she SHOULD have been. This one was a bit rediculous though. Shoulda said no outta basic principle and self-respect, dignity! No! Get away from me, or something. I'd have said something had it gotten any worse, but this was all in a matter of like 1 minute. He made fun of her because of someone she had previously dated, then he called her cheap and easy and shit because she hooked up with this guy (he hated this guy a lot), so she started crying. After like 2 more quick jokes at that guys and her expense, he started getting on her. She was very "responsive". Definately a willing participant. Tried a few times later on in life to get her ditch him, but she claimed she loved him. Absurd.

thats just.... i dont know what to say?

atleast you tried

some girls want to be treated like cattle or slaves..... for sexual reasons. So some will seek that out, a I have found many men who cant be both caring and viciously dominant in sexual situation. Its are to find the best of both worlds.

(had to change my font size because I didnt want it looking like my quote from another user was my own writing, guess the quote thing messed up)

yeah i know that but we wasnt talking about sexual fantasies

AwfulArchdemon · June 21, 2013

Aww, I miss seein' ladies post here! :blush: Don't worry, I think ZeKollektor is outta here..._{(I think it's safe) shhhh.....}.AAAAAH!!! RUN LADIES! RUN FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR SANITY, IF NOTHING ELSE!!

Right, I failed to read the 2nd and 3rd pages of the thread before I got involved. Whoops! Just wanted to post my 1st relevant response...(ahem)...Women don't think much differently than us by nature. It's the way they're catagorized that forces them to "choose" a "title", and that will define them from here on out. If a girl has sex with 3 different guys in a month, she's immortalized as a dirty hoe.

They have reasons to say no to us, so they are more likely to want a "creative output" with which to fantasize. We, however, can't control our urges, which is why we're the one's creating them. It's like having to take a piss...it must happen now! Don't you think I'd like to have a better argument!? It's okay though. I'm moving soon! :lol: Here I come ladies! I'm finally freeing myself of this sausage-factory of a state! WOOHOO!! :lol: :heart: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=9XXnutQmWPE

Erinaea · June 23, 2013

Long have i dwelled in this forum and i´ve came across many female members and everytime i´ve asked myself :

Why would a female , who has the ultimate power of getting Intercourse with almost no effort, get on a site for video games where Sex mods and other adult mods are created and shared ?

Why not having Real life sex all the time instead of using a game like this to only have virtual fun and using them to masturbate(in my case).

I am here because i love to make my Games as realstic as possible and make the experience more immersive.Of course i use them also for stimulation , if you know what i mean

But i would immediatly abandon any kind of porn or sex mod activity , if i would be in the position of having sex all the time.

Please give me your thoughts and dont be offended, im just a horny man who is confused by all kinds of irrational behaviour of women.

Not sure if my reply counts, seeing as I am transgendered and not sure how others will take that..but I will give it a go!

I joined this site for the mods, primarily, the ones that cannot be found on Nexus.

I might get hate for this, but I generally dislike porn as it feels artificial and is devoid of any romance, passion etc..that's just how I feel about it, please don't take offense if you're into porn.

So..as another poster remarked, this site has a bunch of mods that are not featured on Nexus that are not sexual in nature and enhance the experience.

Regarding the specifically adult mods, some of them add more depth to the in-game romances the character I play has and I find that to be enjoyable. I like options.

Essentially, like you, I am here because I want my game to be as realistic and immersive!

Also, contrary to popular(?) thought amongst men, women cannot just run around and "get sex" whenever. Unlike in games, there are emotions involved, for the most part, in real life sexual relationships regardless of whether it is a relationship spanning many years or just one night and not everyone wants that. So even just being able to be someone else, in another world, in another life, and have your character experience some kind of romance could be a fulfilling experience. There are also health concerns.

So yup, hope that clarifies some of your questions a bit. I didn't read the other pages because I didn't want anything I said to be swayed by what others said. Hope that doesn't bother anyone and I am sorry if I repeated points already made.

StayFrosty · June 26, 2013

Also just because this site is tagged like an adult site, doesn't mean we are here for porn.

O_o ...

I certainly am here for the Porn Mods....I am a 43 year old female, happily married to an awesome man with a very healthy sex life and have three teenage daughters.

I like the Porn Mods for two reasons....:

1/ Realism....People eat, sleep, drink, have sex, etc...And so does my Dovahkin, he does all of these things, plus a number of other realism Mods and game play choices involved, all to add to the realism....He is something of a pr*ck, rapes women and men, why? Because such activity and behavior feels very fitting considering the world he lives in....he rapes to dominate and humiliate and sometimes simply because he likes what he sees, so takes what he wants if that person is alone....Skyrim is very Medieval in feel with a lot of brutal undertones and so my Dovahkin fits that world.

2/ Watching him in action is very erotic...he is designed as eye candy for me and I enjoy watching him....I don't feel any need to stimulate myself while watching him, but I enjoy the view and the realism.

Cozy · July 10, 2013

Wow! I missed out on some really interesting discussions in this thread since I've been MIA. Some of the posts made I really wanted to give likes, but once again I seemed to have capped my like quota... happens a lot, since, well there are a lot of intelligent things said around here... and a lot of stupid things too, but I like to focus on the former, so call me an optimist I guess.

I picked a bunch of quotes in no particular order, not sure if I missed any, but here it goes...

Edit/Disclaimer: Before I start I'm going in order to properly converse I'm likely going to have share certain aspects about myself that the status quo would consider taboo. So this is a little disclaimer warning you that I'm involved in the BDSM lifestyle, and like Erinaea I too am a MTF TG. Unlike her I am not going to apologize for it. I've lived half my life essentially as female, beginning Hormonal Replacement Therapy at the age of 16. In that time I've come to accept who, and what I am with no shame whatsoever. If you have a problem with me because I happen to be different, do us both a favor and just skip my post, and ignore me. Believe me when I say I will be happy to extend the courtesy. If however you are secure enough in your sexuality to put up with a Kinklet Male to Female Non-Op Transsexual (technically speaking) that identifies as Genderqueer in terms of personal gender identity, Panssexual in terms of sexual orientation, and sort of Demisexual meaning I need to have a close emotional connection with someone in order to get intimate, cool beans I hope we can be friends.

To note I usually don't make these kinds of disclaimers, but after some sexual insecure "germ" (his screename) got awfully nasty towards me for kindly answering a question for him about my gender, I'm just trying to ensure that potential trouble makers for me will leave me alone, while I will graciously do the same.

Okay now with that out of the way,

Long have i dwelled in this forum and i´ve came across many female members and everytime i´ve asked myself :

Why would a female , who has the ultimate power of getting Intercourse with almost no effort, get on a site for video games where Sex mods and other adult mods are created and shared ?
Why not having Real life sex all the time instead of using a game like this to only have virtual fun and using them to masturbate(in my case).

I am here because i love to make my Games as realstic as possible and make the experience more immersive.Of course i use them also for stimulation , if you know what i mean
But i would immediatly abandon any kind of porn or sex mod activity , if i would be in the position of having sex all the time.

Please give me your thoughts and dont be offended, im just a horny man who is confused by all kinds of irrational behaviour of women.

Not sure if my reply counts, seeing as I am transgendered and not sure how others will take that..but I will give it a go!

I joined this site for the mods, primarily, the ones that cannot be found on Nexus.

I might get hate for this, but I generally dislike porn as it feels artificial and is devoid of any romance, passion etc..that's just how I feel about it, please don't take offense if you're into porn.

So..as another poster remarked, this site has a bunch of mods that are not featured on Nexus that are not sexual in nature and enhance the experience.

Regarding the specifically adult mods, some of them add more depth to the in-game romances the character I play has and I find that to be enjoyable. I like options.

Essentially, like you, I am here because I want my game to be as realistic and immersive!

Also, contrary to popular(?) thought amongst men, women cannot just run around and "get sex" whenever. Unlike in games, there are emotions involved, for the most part, in real life sexual relationships regardless of whether it is a relationship spanning many years or just one night and not everyone wants that. So even just being able to be someone else, in another world, in another life, and have your character experience some kind of romance could be a fulfilling experience. There are also health concerns.

So yup, hope that clarifies some of your questions a bit. I didn't read the other pages because I didn't want anything I said to be swayed by what others said. Hope that doesn't bother anyone and I am sorry if I repeated points already made.

Welcome to Lover's Lab Erinaea! As kind of the unofficial MTF TG matriarch of this forum, as far as I am considered if you have the brain body mapping of a female it counts.

Oddly enough I dislike porno, in the sense of you know real life porno. Two actors fucking on camera. It feels kinda forced in most I've viewed and I just don't really enjoy it. However this is not to say I dislike erotica all together. Smutty novel's, comics, art, that I can get behind. But yeah not much for r/l stuff unless it's real life and I'm there, likely with a riding crop making my little subby tear up and beg his mistress for more. *ahem* I'm kind of kinky, which I don't believe I've mentioned yet to you. It's strange though I do get more pleasure from a scene, which for the most part doesn't involve any sexual intercourse than I do *ahem* sexual intercourse. Though mixing the two on occasion, especially if I am in a submissive role with a Dominant that happens to be my girlfriend whom I love dearly and trust with everything, and YAHOO! *ahem* Right I'm wandering again aren't I?

Unlike you I did sign up for this site for teh kink! Specifically ZAZ. Yeah what a shock right? :lol: While such mods don't really get me off or anything, hell it takes and awful lot to do that to tell the truth. I do kind of enjoy roleplaying my character, and a kinky narrative is all the more fun. Naturally I am also a fan of Sanguine's Debauchery. So my character has a rather dominant companion. Mehhh. Anyway yeah. Women, genetic or trans have a right to enjoy smutty mods as much as anyone else I feel. But as you said there is indeed more than "just" smutty mods on this site, which I could see as another draw for a more vanilla crowd. In fact I've downloaded likely more vanilla mods than I have adult mods. For me, much like yourself it's all about the immersion.

Also I agree with you 100% on the sex thing. I mean for me at least there absolutely has to be an emotional attachment to someone for ANYTHING sexual to occur. As I mentioned most recently in another post, in that regard I am somewhat demisexual. I say somewhat in that I can be attracted to someone I don't know, based on certain physical characteristics, but generally it's what I would call kind of low volume attraction. Where as if there is an emotional bond with someone that attraction is amplified tremendously, and I really don't get hung up on looks too much. I am far more attracted to someone's personality and character than I am their appearance. Appearance is secondary for me. Though it doesn't hurt to be with someone who's also kind of my type physically as well, as I said if there is an emotional bond it just gets amplified.

I digress, some of this has been mentioned but who cares. Don't be so shy many here are very welcoming even if many of us are perverted a bit. You should check out the "Adult Stuff 18+" forums. I've kind of by accident started up some interesting conversations about transgenderism in there that you may be interested in, and you're not the only TG on the forum.

Once again welcome, always nice to see another open trans individual about.

I am a woman on LL. Why am I here? First I came to see the mods I heard about. I then found the forums.

People like Cozy and Queen Bee made me feel like I was with family. They listened and made great comments and made me feel just a little less like a freak.

My only regret is that these people are no longer active on the forum, and I miss them.   I have developed friendships with several members here and I still enjoy the mods from the many talented people here. I have a job that can be quite stressful at times and this is my little cave where I can go to relax and be silly or intellectual if I wish and very few people judge me.

It is true for the most part, right now because I am young and yes, I will say it, gorgeous, All I have to do is look a man in the eye and he is mine.

20 years from now, when I do the same thing 60% of them will run away and another 30% will think of me as a second choice.

Trouble with most men looking for woman is that they ignore the obvious. Most men only look for the 8,9, and 10's which compose of only 5%.

Now I know that you have to have standards so let us ignore the 1"s, that leaves 2,3,4,5,6,and 7's, these woman are lonely and would love to have some man even look their way. And they compose 93% of the women out there. So quit trying to win the lottery by betting on the long shots, go where the odds are in your favour.

Here is something all men should know:

   If you take a 10 to bed, she will have no idea why she is there, and will expect you to do all the work.

   If you take a 3, or a 4 to bed, she will know exactly why she is there and she will rock your world.

So gentlemen, quit trying to find a custom fit in an off the rack world.

Okay, okay first off DAWWWWWW! :heart:

To be reading a random topic and find that out of nowhere made me feel all warm and fuzzy! I love you right back hon.

Warning: If this crazy gender malarkey is not something you want to read just skip it it. I'll tell you when it's done.

Anyhoo, hmmm in terms of Erinaea's concern over being qualified, while I know I am qualified in that I live as a woman, pass as a woman, sound like a woman, even give off female pheromones and all that due to being on hormonal replacement therapy for half my life pretty much. It's common knowledge to those that know me that, I don't exactly identify as a woman. Sure I am feminine, and maternal and stuff like that, and while I thought I was a total transsexual for several years, I never really felt or believed myself to be a woman. This is not to say I think myself to be a man, oh good lord no! (no offense to men it's just how my brain is wired.) I mean I deliberately started self medicating when I was 16 with hormonal replacement therapy to chemically castrate myself as fast as humanely possible. I lived as a boy, and I had about 2 years of male puberty and it was just WRONG! I hated it so I stopped it, and the very thought of being a man repulses me. It repulsed me so much I stopped it from happening since I never completed puberty by a stretch. Rambling...

So anyhoo, with that said not male, not exactly female in terms of gender identity even if chemically on a physiological level when it comes to my endocrine system I am more like a female than a male. I'm what's called an Androgyne, or what many call Genderqueer in that I don't feel I fit into a binary gender. Grant you I have a few bigendered traits as well, even though I really don't feel I am truly bigendered. But it's odd when I am in a Dominant role I tend to be kind of a Femme Fatale type. So while generally my gender is kind of androgynous in that the concept of gender to begin with has always been this alien thing to me, I do kind of play around with certain male and female binaries. Like for example you have the Femme Fatale Domme, but I have kind of a super femmeboi sissy kind of headspace in some submissive fantasies. Weird stuff... Where was I going?

Gender Malarkey as ceased!

Overall I live as a female, and as such I seem to be, based on empirical data seen as a rather attractive female. I mean I used to model a little, and I do get guys hitting on me A LOT! Here's the thing though most of those guys you're talking about Airdance based on experience are usually complete douchebags, and I never give them the time of day. Still, I mean it was funny when I first went full-time that the same kind of guys that loved to push me around in high school for being what they perceived as a faggot, would kinda throw themselves at me. But they did so in such a clumsy way. Also and I am going to get into this more in the next quote, they are such obvious asses, and I've had genetic female friends who just allow these bastards to walk all over them. I mean I'll warn my GG (Genetic Girl) friends when they meet a certain kind of guy that they are trouble, but they won't listen. What they forget is I lived my youth as a boy, and as such I got kind of a behind the scenes look that most women never get to see, so I can usually clock a total DICK a mile away, but still... I mean not all my GG friends are like that, but some are.

I mean my main submissive was like that. She was bi, anyway I remember this boyfriend of her's. I tried to warn her because I knew he was trouble, and I was very protective her. She did listen at first, and it was a long distance relationship since he lived in Texas and only visited from time to time. She even broke up with him, which was a relief. But when she moved to Texas to go to school, what happened? She wound up moving in with him anyway as she originally planned. /facepalm Sure enough everything I warned her about came true, it was actually kind of traumatizing for her to the point she came back to NY to stay with me for a month. This asshole kept ringing her phone, I would just hang up. I remember we got into argument, and I lectured him about boundaries and how he was by not stretch of the imagination a dom (lowercase d on purpose) as he claimed. He was just an internet poser who wound up abusing her. He called me a shemale and this and that I didn't care, and I wound up getting her a new phone with my own money so he wouldn't have her number anymore.

After that she trusted Mama-Lion's judgment about men a bit more. Actually she took it pretty far, to the point she actually brought her new boyfriend all the way to New York to meet me several months later, to get my approval. He didn't know that, but ummm... Well she was and always will be little subby-cub. :heart: He was by all accounts kind of nerdy but a really good guy, and she's still with him. Which lead me to the next post.

you could say the same for women but imo they are worse women always go for the badboys/egocentrics and get betrayed and hurt then they run back to them or find another badboy even worse they find a women beater which they end up marrying

apparently nice guys are "too nice" so they like the above or they want to be kept treated mean there is saying "treat them mean keep them kean" or some BS like that i guess nice guys do finish last

the truth is women dont know what they want until they are about 40

anyway i dont really like talking about this sort of stuff usually just ignore it but when someone says men like this, that blah blah just annoys me when your geander is just as worse at picking a partner

Indeed you can. Not all mind you, but I mean some of my female friends, are quick to go with the bad boy, or hotshot, and as I stated in my previous post they are usually total and obvious DICKS! Trans women in my experience are very careful when it comes to men. Well that only makes sense, for one we had a look behind the curtain when were young, or in some cases a tad bit older, I transitioned at an insanely young age. Still while we aren't guys, we have a better grasp on certain male behaviors being forced to live as one for whatever amount of time. Secondly a lot of guys, especially THOSE kind of guys are friggen dangerous! Those guys that hit on me and come off all cool, I know not only that they are total assholes, but that they are also totally insecure with their sexuality and even if I don't come on to them at all, which I don't, if they find out I'm trans I'm as good as another statistic on the Day of Rememberence website.

Though there are some trans women who do go with the wrong guy and aren't upfront about being trans. That is like playing Russian roulette, especially if you are pre-op. Anyway I am always upfront with any male I show any interest in, if they do not already know. I won't even really hug them until they know. Oddly most guys I have been in relationships with in some form or another have been, while reluctant at first willing to give it a shot. Very few actually turned me down. Now gay guys always turn me down, because... Well here's a little secret, while gay men like male genitalia, they also really like masculinity. Even twinks are still essentially male. Me? Not so much, I am too feminine for any gay guy I have ever had an interest in, as I have been told. So I've only been with straight, and bisexual men. All of whom knew well in advance.

I would reason they were willing to give me a shot mainly due to the fact I pass so well I suppose. I've had some great relationships with guys. Also every guy I have ever dated has been the sweet, caring, shy, nerdy type. My first boyfriend, oh he was a gem and so cute. He came from Quebec so he had a thick French accent, and he was just this angel. He was a pudgy nerdy guy, but that didn't matter to me. It's the guys like that, that actually care about you. It's the kind guys that are really looking for love, and not a piece of arm candy, or someone to fuck for bragging rights that you want. The kind of guys that know how to treat a woman as a human being and not as a simple sexual object. Basically mature guys. They exist do exist you just need to look carefully. But yeahh... Guys like the one my sub dated that I mentioned in the last quote, that I warned her about. The self proclaimed meathead macho bad asses are the ones you really want to be iffy about.

My...thank you all for the replies! See, when I mentioned that there was another time a girl asked me to do that, nobody asked me what I did...I'm glad it didn't need to be mentioned.

Alrighty, now that I said that, and you're all like "Tell me you didn't!", I'll just come out and say that this request actually came during the act, but it wasn't spoken, it was just obvious. She'd start physically trying to stop me, but when I stopped, she looked at me as if to say "wtf? Don't stop!". Then the same thing happened again. She like...struggled, but I slowed down a bit, and the more I did, the more piercing that look of hers got. Most confusing sex I ever had. Even then, I totally stopped. Dammit! Sometimes I should just be the bad guy! Another disappointed girl.

Mogie56, about the other guy, he's basically the...comic relief, in just about every situation. I wouldn't say this was any real attempt to get with her (talking about the fist girl now), nor do I believe he would even be capable of raping her. She was an avid kickboxer. Really nice, but that doesn't make her any less of a kickboxer.

She was pissed because she was disappointed. I can't believe she actually meant it!

I'd rather not describe what she looked like. Might lose serious points here.

Oh, and I never second guessed myself. Just wondered if anyone here thought I shoulda done what she asked. Curiousity, I guess.

Thanks again everyone!

Just thought I'd throw in another BM song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSrj0kpnBAA&feature=player_embedded

AwfulArchdemon

Yeahhh Nononsense is right in what he said about laying out ground rules beforehand, however I do think he went a little far with the "fuck her!" comment! :lol: Nevertheless some people do like rapeplay, and there's nothing wrong with that. However when it comes to a scene as it's called. It's kind of important to know you're in one before you start it. I worked as a pro-Domme for a while, then I moved to California met the woman I love and while she gave me permission to see other people knowing of my kinkiness, when I was with her she was all I needed, and believe it or not we never even had any sex yet. :lol: Though she and I did kind of have a subtle, yet very cerebral D/s relationship. In this rare situation I was the sub for once in my life. I should clarify that I am a switch. However most of the time I take on the role of the Dominant. This is because I have some massive trust issues I won't go into that makes it very hard for me to get into subspace. To be honest I think at my core I am more of a submissive than I am a Dominant, but it takes a special someone to make me feel safe enough to let my guard down. She was and is that someone. Sadly we had to "temporally" separate due to economic pressures. I moved back to NY to get back on my feet financially after being laid off, but then fell rather ill as of late, and well... We're still together, just long distance. Talk all the time, she still makes giddy. Anyway when I moved back I did take advantage of her privilege of allowing me to see other people, and got involved heavily into the BDSM community again, until I fell ill. Long story...

I digress, even if you're not in a D/s relationship or anything hardcore. If your girlfriend wants to do some kind of rough play, like say rapeplay, which can be very intense, it's kind of a good idea to talk about it beforehand. I mean this is kind of a rule of thumb in the lifestyle, because without proper communication things can get ugly. Also when you're in a Dominant role during a scene it isn't all fun and games, your primary objective is the safety and psychological well being of the submissive party. It's very important most of the time to engage in a practice called aftercare. Basically say after you have a rape scene with your girlfriend, when it's all done it's important to be her anchor and just be there for her, and kind of comfort her and love her and reassure her bringing her back down to earth and out of the submissive headspace, since that kind of thing can get kind of intense and mess with a sub psychologically if not properly given aftercare. Also safe words are very important as someone mentioned. I usually use the Yellow Light, Red Light system. Basically Yellow Light means things slow down, and if need be you talk and communicate with the sub to see what's what. Red Light means the scene stops then and there.

This is all kinda hard to explain to someone who knows nothing about it. However your girlfriend is interested in intense rapeplay and if you want to placate her, you two should discuss it, how to go about it, what the boundaries are, etc... The main rule is Safe, Sane, and Consensual. But with stuff like that, that may have a very strong psychological impact I think aftercare is especially important with rapeplay. I would suggest reading some articles on BDSM on Sexuality.org. There is some good stuff there to get you started if your girlfriend wants to spice things up. I mean I am not saying go all out whips and chains, but I mean even with just spicing things up rapeplay is pretty damned intense. I dunno it depends on what you want though, if it isn't your thing and it makes you uncomfortable she needs to respect that. Again boundaries. It always goes both ways. The Dominant, and sub are equals, that simply compliment each other. But if this kind of thing isn't for you just tell her.

Actually for BDSM people there is the use of a safe word that you decide first and let you know that it went too far, because yes sometimes it just does.

I really think that rape fantasy and role play is way different than the actual act and that noone (being a woman or a man for that matter) truly wants to get raped no matter what.

I personally think that rape is the most damaging thing you can do to another human being before crippling him and it might even be up for debate.

Rapeplay can get VERY, VERY intense. I've seen it done, but it's all controlled of course and the submissive always has the option to stop it at anytime, and the Dominant if they posses any shred of competence knows how important aftercare is when it comes to a scene like that. Especially if you're dealing with a rape-victim. I had a sub... Ohhh this one really goes into some crazy gender stuff I won't go into specifics, but she wanted me to do Rape-play with her, and she was was raped, horribly by her previous so-called Dom. Who was just a sick deranged fuck who should be in jail for messing her up so bad. A good Domme needs to be able to say no sometimes. You need to know your subs limits sometimes better than they do, and in this subs case, she was not up for it. There were a couple of times I had to tell her no, you're not ready this won't be good for either of us. I was very protective of her, well I am protective of all my subs, but considering her history I really knew that I had to tread carefully. In the end I did help her out a lot, and she's actually married now. Eerrr long story I posted it in the fetish topic in the Adult 18+ forum as a cautionary tale.

In terms of rape, as in not play but RAPE the act! ughhhh... It's something that I feel should warrant death. I was a rape victim more than once, and that's all I will say about it. But it's very damaging, crippling in fact. I suffered from agoraphobia for over a year. I had night terrors, and still occasionally do... Again I won't go into detail and I don't feel I am the victim anymore because I don't want to let the fuckers win! But it certainly screwed me up, and no it's not what made me trans. I knew my gender was screwy the second I was told I was a boy and that was a girl.

I have had a bit of a hard time reconciling my feelings on the subject.

Being a feminist, always striving for equality and such, but being turned on by fantasy rape and slavery.

But then I'm also a peaceful person who gains satisfaction when I kill something in a videogame. If decapitating someone in a game doesn't make me approve of murder, then putting my character in situations that may lead to rape for example doesn't mean I approve of the real thing either.

Yes this is me repeating "It's fantasy, stupid.". Redundancy aside it is something I've had to come to terms with because society in general tries to obligate us into feeling guilty about it.

Human sexuality is bizarre as hell, but so long as no one is actually getting hurt. So long as you practice safe sane and consensual religiously, why guild trip people for taking pleasure in something that is hurting no one? I knew a switch, an older woman who taught me a few things in terms of my technique who was a rape victim who enjoyed rape-play with her master. Yet she mentioned to me a few times it helped heal her, that it was theraputic to know that she was safe while it was happening, and helped her basically get rid of a lot of baggage. It gets confusing I suppose. Still, you shouldn't feel guilty about your fantasies, whether they're in your head, or you're roleplaying them with a partner. People are quirky.

Our entire society loves to make us feel guilty for taking pleasure in things. So many taboos, what about just live an let live? Leddis I've respected you since the moment I met you, and I was rape victim. So here I am telling you, DON'T FEEL GUILTY for having these feelings. You're a brilliant, compassionate, good person as far as I've seen. So if it counts for anything let me absolve you of your guilt, or at least try. Unless you've don't something actually wrong that, actually hurts someone don't feel guilty.

And that's that... I know this may be tl;dr for some, but I felt like conversing, and saw a plethora of interesting topics, which to discuss.

So in closing, my best wishes to all,

~ :heart: Your Friendly Neighborhood Cozy

Edit: I apologize for the typo's and manic nature of the post. I am kind of manic right now for some reason, and the sun is up?! o_O

AwfulArchdemon · July 11, 2013

@Cozy, please use a

Oh...you opened it? Sooo yeah...use a spoiler

Your reply is more of a thread than a post.

AwfulArchdemon post-111270-0-63892500-1366289101_thumb.

A Bunny · July 14, 2013

I got tired of being a feminist. I think I just ignore the questions about my sexuality and why I play adult-games when I could (I guess?) get better service in real life because of my gender. Yay?

AwfulArchdemon · July 14, 2013

I got tired of being a feminist. I think I just ignore the questions about my sexuality and why I play adult-games when I could (I guess?) get better service in real life because of my gender. Yay?

If I didn't know any better, I'd almost say you'd prefer Adult Games over sex. You know...if I didn't know any better.

If that were true (hypothetically speaking of course), then you'd be a bit like me. I loathe to say this, but sex only seems to be desireable to me if I get to do whatever I want, without interruptions, skeet, then move on. Otherwise, sex is...a lot of work. A LOT...of work.

Every girl I've been with seems to wanna go AAAAAAAAAALL day. Last time lasted 8 hours strait. I felt like Al Bundy in that episode where he tries to have a baby with Peg, and she keeps using birth control so she can keep getting sex, and Al turns into a feeble, gray-haired old man within days.

nordwhore · July 14, 2013

I'm female, 25, and here because I like to act out my sexual fantasies and fetishes in video games. Simple as that. Women are, contrary to popular belief, sexual beings too with a libido every bit as strong as men even if we are raised to repress it.

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