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I'm done.

Queen Bee

By Queen Bee,
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Queen Bee

Queen Bee

Posted
Posted

I came here almost a year ago with the enthusiasm of a diehard TES fan and the perhaps naive belief that that's all I needed to involve myself in the modding community. I made friends, close ones that I thought would last a good long while, and I enjoyed myself immensely for a time.

 

But that time has come to an end. Those friends I made are gone, none of whom have deemed me worthy of continued interaction outside of this forum. What posts I make now are highly criticized, taken too seriously or outright blown out of proportion. And to be perfectly honest, this site bores me now. I got into it because of Skyrim, but I don't play Skyrim anymore. If I had any other reason for sticking around, I can't think of it now.

 

It's not that I thought myself important. I am, all things considered, nothing more than a vocal fan. I don't produce anything mod-wise, and I don't contribute to other mods other than to make suggestions or requests. The most I could ever offer people was a good idea or two, at best. But the connections I had made here seemed genuine. It's a real pity to discover I was wrong.

 

So there's that, and my lack of contribution, and to top it all off it seems I'm now incapable of posting anything without pissing someone off so bad they demand I stop talking to them. Whether they're just overly sensitive or I'm not sensitive enough is up for debate. All I know is the thought of continuing to post here in any real capacity makes me tired. And jesus fuck, am I tired. I'm tired of the bickering, the needless posturing, the pretentious attention-seeking, the cliques, the tards, the crazies and the whiners. I'm not saying you're all like that, but it seems lately that's all I hear from.

 

I miss my friends. I wish they'd message me. But more than that, I wish this place made me feel the way it did all those months ago, when I showed up with a proverbial smile on my face and the urge to belong. Well, I don't belong anymore, so I'm going to go looking for a place where I do.

 

Or, to put it in the words of one of my childhood idols, it's been swell, but the swelling's gone down.

ChancellorKremlin

ChancellorKremlin

Posted
Posted

I'm sorry you feel that way, Queen Bee. I really am. 

 

I don't know about you, but I do think of you as a close friend here on this board, though lately I've been getting a lot of the same negativity you yourself have spoken of. I'm not directing this at anybody (least of all you) but sometimes on boards like these, there are good times, and sometimes there are bad times. Perhaps these are bad times, for all of us?

 

I'll keep this short as I don't presume to lecture you on something you probably know better than anyone given your background, but "don't let the bastards grind you down" - that is applicable to any situation, this one included. That extends both to people and modding in general. If you're stuck with Skyrim, perhaps a change of scenery is in order?

 

Anyway, I do hope you reconsider. 

 

 

buttnine

buttnine

Posted
Posted

What about new friends? I only recently came to know you, Queen Bee, and I found you to be genuine, quick-witted and likeable. I friended you because you were interesting. I don't know what your past is here and I don't know anything about the difficulties you've had with others, but you have a friend in me and I'd like you to stay. I enjoy the Skyrim community and I enjoy this forum and I think both are better with you around.

Guest airdance

Guest airdance

Posted
Posted

before you go diagnosing yourself with depression, make sure that you are not just surrounded by assholes instead.

 

always loved you

Rayblue

Rayblue

Posted
Posted

 

So there's that, and my lack of contribution, and to top it all off it seems I'm now incapable of posting anything without pissing someone off so bad they demand I stop talking to them. Whether they're just overly sensitive or I'm not sensitive enough is up for debate. All I know is the thought of continuing to post here in any real capacity makes me tired. And jesus fuck, am I tired. I'm tired of the bickering, the needless posturing, the pretentious attention-seeking, the cliques, the tards, the crazies and the whiners. I'm not saying you're all like that, but it seems lately that's all I hear from.

 

Which place? If it's the Nex, then I don't hang around there because of what you have described. Personally I find LL a lot more saner than that other supposed "community".

 

Here, if it's the politics or off-topic sections, you have the right to withdraw from any heated debate, avoid those sections for a while, and go some other part of this forum to relax.

 

It doesn't matter at all whether you contribute a mod or not, as long as you happily socialize with us.

 

Otherwise, I wish you luck and much thanks. :)

Happysparkles

Happysparkles

Posted
Posted

Sadly I never managed to got to know you to formulate an opinion. But opinion or not, I do not see the need for people to try to take you wrong as your posts do not seem to be trolling or anything like that. Actually I often like some of your post because I like where your head is at.  With this I can only guess and I feel comfortable saying that you seem rather genuine.

I really am sad to see that you are going as I often see your name in postings.

I do know how you feel though, I've been through the same things. In 2 months I've made 300+ postings at first people seemed to understand my postings but after a while I felt that people just do not understand me nor give to flying fucks about my opinion.  But despite it all I do lurk and stick to only certain threads. (And mod too I guess)

I will say that and I hope you do not take me wrong here, but maybe you did not meet the right people?

I have also seen the same situation of people only wanting forum relationships but this is understandable since this is the internet and while we tend to break our molds of our real selves; due to the state of  anonymity we get from the internet we still tend to be more reserved to reaching out to others in person.

 

I do hope you reconsider this position.

Just do not be ashamed to try to meet new people here.

One thing I've learned is that some of the less vocal people can be the most humblest (with no disrespect to any of you social guru's ofc).

No matter what you decide I wish you much love and the best of luck and many many levels of happiness as well.

 

-Happysparkles ;)

Demonhunter

Demonhunter

Posted
Posted

I hope you reconsider :)

I don't know you but i have read posts from you and found nothing wrong with them. i often get a giggle or two from them too. 

 

But as i usually say. "Lets blow this Popsicle stand" :)

 

cya

 

 

 

ElvenScoundrel

ElvenScoundrel

Posted
Posted

Queen Bee's fucking awesome! The fuck would honestly make her feel hated? We all loves ya Queenie, and I hope you linger at least to feel the love from people that think you're awesome and enjoyed your posts thoroughly.

Ailsa

Ailsa

Posted
Posted

We have never inter-acted but I would like to wish you happiness with whatever choice you make and I sincerely hope that you find people who appreciate you as a unique and special person.  Each and every one of us has experienced people who respond negatively at some time and I hope you find a way not to let them get you down.

 

Good luck with the path you choose, and, speaking for myself, I have enjoyed the posts you have made that I have read.  

 

On another note I did not know there was a "friend" option here o_O

El Sparrow

El Sparrow

Posted
Posted

As far as I can remember, we've only interacted properly twice. That said, I remember both as pleasant experiences, and I've found you easy to respect and like, so I hope you'll change your mind. I always enjoy reading what you have to say. But, hey, stay or go, I hope your future internetscapades leave you maximally happy, minimally pissed off, and in possession of cake... the cake is optional of course - I'll be happy to take it if you don't want it.

ChancellorKremlin

ChancellorKremlin

Posted
Posted

For someone who has left, she keeps logging back in.....

Until there's a forum rule that states you HAVE to leave if you say or suggest you are, she can do whatever she pleases.

 

I also don't see how statements like that are helpful, at all.

Happysparkles

Happysparkles

Posted
Posted

Agreed with kremlin. I really don't see why she cannot log in. It is her choice just as much as she chose to not post anymore. Also why are you even tracking that?

windpl

windpl

Posted
Posted

Agreed with kremlin. I really don't see why she cannot log in. It is her choice just as much as she chose to not post anymore. Also why are you even tracking that?

 

It can been seen as drama queen behaviour?

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