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Chapter 3: A Bard's Pride

I might have had this ready for upload yesterday, but Devianna suggested adding Facelight in. I did, and was much happier with the shots, so I ended up doing another set of reshoots.

 

Thank you to her and Triloque for all of the helpful suggestions they've added along the way. I don't know how good this actually is, but I do know it's a lot better than it would have been without their help and support. This is the first time I've tried something this ambitious, so I'm still learning a lot along the way.

 

If you haven't read the first two chapters, you might actually be okay. I think this chapter does a good job of setting up and recapping the main plot points. 

 

So, enjoy!

 

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Thank you to all who read! 

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Your Thora is charming, quirky and it looks like she isn't afraid to speak her mind. You obviously put a lot of thought into her character and personality and it really shows. She's extremely entertaining.  🥰

This being LL we get quite a lot of brothel-related content but very few actual good stories with it. Yours is definitely shaping up to being one of the good ones, so keep it up! 🤗

 

You have a good eye for screenshots and your scenes flow smoothly from one to the next, some with very humorous twists. These two were my favorite: 😅


 

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If I could make a small suggestion, the yellow border around the dark text boxes is a little too bright and reading the actual text in them becomes difficult due to high contrast.  It might be better to tone down the color to something more neutral. 🤔

 

Aside from that, I really like your story and I'm looking forward to seeing how meeting with Erikur will go.

Thank you for sharing your work with us! 🤗

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8 minutes ago, Devianna said:

Your Thora is charming, quirky and it looks like she isn't afraid to speak her mind. You obviously put a lot of thought into her character and personality and it really shows. She's extremely entertaining.  🥰

This being LL we get quite a lot of brothel-related content but very few actual good stories with it. Yours is definitely shaping up to being one of the good ones, so keep it up! 🤗

 

You have a good eye for screenshots and your scenes flow smoothly from one to the next, some with very humorous twists. These two were my favorite: 😅


 

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Thanks so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed the chapter, thanks for the compliments on my screen shots! There are a few I think I could have been done better, but overall I'm pretty happy with how this turned out. The first shot in that particular pair is probably one of my favorites because I love the expression on her face. 😆 

 

As far as the yellow on the borders I do agree and was thinking along those lines as I was reading through. It's gonna be a much more subdued color going forward. 

 

Again, Thanks! 

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Ohh wow 🤗

 

You actually pumped up the production, compared your previous and especially the first chapters things improved quite a lot from the comic style to the visuals even to the character design. 🤩

 

That is very much appreciated, also showing you take it seriously and put effort it in, I like it 😊

 

Your protagonist outside of the Dibellan approved outfit, she improved visually a lot and in designs, she looks much more cuter and has actually more character in look, posing and facial expressions of yours helps a lot in that, but the look is good now. 

 

I consider it massive improvement over her previous version, she is now a cutie 😉

 

Gwynolda approves her.

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She looks pretty, but her job is heretical.. that brothel need a purge... and she need to be cleaned by dibellan ways

 

While the brothel concept and prostitution stories are not the most uncommon story type here, you startin put some darker side of themes there, with the slave girl and now the corrupt nobility who try avoid the imperial punishment.

 

Things got interesting, looking forward for the next parts 🤔

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44 minutes ago, Resdayn said:

Ohh wow 🤗

 

You actually pumped up the production, compared your previous and especially the first chapters things improved quite a lot from the comic style to the visuals even to the character design. 🤩

 

That is very much appreciated, also showing you take it seriously and put effort it in, I like it 😊

 

Your protagonist outside of the Dibellan approved outfit, she improved visually a lot and in designs, she looks much more cuter and has actually more character in look, posing and facial expressions of yours helps a lot in that, but the look is good now. 

 

I consider it massive improvement over her previous version, she is now a cutie 😉

 

Gwynolda approves her.

  Reveal hidden contents

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She looks pretty, but her job is heretical.. that brothel need a purge... and she need to be cleaned by dibellan ways

 

Thanks Resdayn! That means alot to me.☺️ 

 

I did put a ton more work into this chapter and it was so worth it. 

 

I know brothel/prostitution content isn't exactly rare here and, to be honest The Princess was originally just going to be a jumping off point for the rest of Thora's tale, but as I started to think about the characters, and the themes of her story things began to develop. This brothel won't be her entire story by any means, but it has kind of evolved in my mind and turned into its own arc. An arc which is going to have a major influence going forward. 

 

Also, I'm glad Gwynolda approves!☺️

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Wow! Huge leap up in quality from the last entries! The switch to a comic format and addition of an ENB are great moves and the dialogue and inner monologue are well written and funny. Even the overall premise seems to have really gained some steam and found some new hooks and points of interest. Looks like you are really getting your footing, great to see a GOOD new blog, we sure could use more of that  around here 😩.

 

Some of the PC expressions do seem a touch over the top from time to time. If I recall you said you were adjusting them manually in racemenu. Are you aware that mfg commands can also be used on the PC? Might give you a touch more ease of control and save you a few hundred hours per entry (doing everything in racemenu does not sound too pleasant).

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36 minutes ago, SpyVsPie said:

Wow! Huge leap up in quality from the last entries! The switch to a comic format and addition of an ENB are great moves and the dialogue and inner monologue are well written and funny. Even the overall premise seems to have really gained some steam and found some new hooks and points of interest. Looks like you are really getting your footing, great to see a GOOD new blog, we sure could use more of that  around here 😩.

Wow! Thanks! That means a lot! I'm really glad my humor seems to be landing. It's so easy to think you're doing humor and come to learn YOU are the only one who thinks you're doing humor. I honestly consider myself a writer and have done some fanfic off and on in the past, as well as original, but this has been so much more rewarding so far than just writing up a fic. Definitely more work, but well worth the effort. 

 

36 minutes ago, SpyVsPie said:

Some of the PC expressions do seem a touch over the top from time to time. If I recall you said you were adjusting them manually in racemenu. Are you aware that mfg commands can also be used on the PC? Might give you a touch more ease of control and save you a few hundred hours per entry (doing everything in racemenu does not sound too pleasant).

You know... I'd honestly gotten so used to using race menu on Thora's expressions, it didn't honestly even occur to me to try the console on her. 😯 

 

I'll probably start taking screens for Chapter 4 later tonight, and I think I'll give it a try. 

 

On an unrelated note, I haven't had time to comment yet, but after reading the first part of The Miseducation of Erik, I went back and read everything from the beginning, including The Ghost of Solitude, and the Morgan chapters. So I'm current through part 2 of Erik now. 

 

Absolutely love your work! 😍

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2 hours ago, LexiAJ82 said:

Wow! Thanks! That means a lot! I'm really glad my humor seems to be landing. It's so easy to think you're doing humor and come to learn YOU are the only one who thinks you're doing humor. I honestly consider myself a writer and have done some fanfic off and on in the past, as well as original, but this has been so much more rewarding so far than just writing up a fic. Definitely more work, but well worth the effort. 

 

You know... I'd honestly gotten so used to using race menu on Thora's expressions, it didn't honestly even occur to me to try the console on her. 😯 

 

I'll probably start taking screens for Chapter 4 later tonight, and I think I'll give it a try. 

 

On an unrelated note, I haven't had time to comment yet, but after reading the first part of The Miseducation of Erik, I went back and read everything from the beginning, including The Ghost of Solitude, and the Morgan chapters. So I'm current through part 2 of Erik now. 

 

Absolutely love your work! 😍

Hey thanks so much! 

 

Making these SKyrim stories is definitely a lot of fun and quite a bit different from most methods of making and sharing stories. There's always something new to learn and half the fun is figuring out how to make a janky old game engine do the things you want 🤣

 

Using the console is definitely the standard for expressions but try it al out and see what works for you. 

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7 hours ago, LexiAJ82 said:

Thanks Resdayn! That means alot to me.☺️ 

 

I did put a ton more work into this chapter and it was so worth it. 

 

I know brothel/prostitution content isn't exactly rare here and, to be honest The Princess was originally just going to be a jumping off point for the rest of Thora's tale, but as I started to think about the characters, and the themes of her story things began to develop. This brothel won't be her entire story by any means, but it has kind of evolved in my mind and turned into its own arc. An arc which is going to have a major influence going forward. 

 

Also, I'm glad Gwynolda approves!☺️

Yeah the work and effort is showing, glad to see that 🥰

 

You started making more interesting and your story look already better, even in the most overused concept you can make something re-freshing take 😁

 

Gwynolda approves cute girls.

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5 hours ago, Resdayn said:

even in the most overused concept you can make something re-freshing take 😁

 

 

 This is definitely true!

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12 hours ago, Resdayn said:

Yeah the work and effort is showing, glad to see that 🥰

 

You started making more interesting and your story look already better, even in the most overused concept you can make something re-freshing take 😁

 

Gwynolda approves cute girls.

 

7 hours ago, SpyVsPie said:

 This is definitely true!

Sex is an important part of what makes us who we are. It influences us and who we are in almost every way. But it's still looked away af taboo and so a lot of people label anything with sex as porn. I happen to believe, and I've seen it done, that sex can be part of a real story. 

 

There's so much more going on at the Brothel and sex is just one of those things. I mean, we're going to go there, but there are so many other aspects; the characters (first and foremost) the relationships, and maybe even some aspects that are just day to day life there. 

 

The brothel is just the first act of Thora's story, and while there will be sex along the way, this is primarily the story of a poor girl coming to Skyrim to pursue her dream, the trials she faces, and how she does or doesn't cope with them. 

 

I'm trying not to get to far ahead of myself, so I'm mainly focusing my thoughts on this arc and the immediately following one, but I do have a lot of potential ideas for the future. (Many of which will require me to get much better at manipulating the game! 😬)

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5 hours ago, LexiAJ82 said:

I happen to believe, and I've seen it done, that sex can be part of a real story.

Sure, there are plenty of examples around here that prove it 😃 (unfortunately there are also quite a few examples that seem to want to prove the opposite 😩🤣).

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8 hours ago, LexiAJ82 said:

 

Sex is an important part of what makes us who we are. It influences us and who we are in almost every way. But it's still looked away af taboo and so a lot of people label anything with sex as porn. I happen to believe, and I've seen it done, that sex can be part of a real story. 

 

Of course it can be part of a real story, I find eroticism quite important aspect and it enchances a lot of games, stories as well haha 🤗

 

Sometimes it makes things way darker or lighthearted or merely just more interesting, as long as its fitting the story and narrative.

 

Like Spy said, there are many examples what try prove the opposite.

 

In the right context some sensuality can be pure horror, saw some examples and it was awesome 🤩

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A here is the whole chapter ! I agree with what's been said, in terms of ergonomics the pleasure of reading has improved quite a lot, with bubbles efficiently queued and your own touch of fantasy in the captions. Your heroine also shows some personality, with thoughts and dialogues often humoring the situation in one way or another. My favorite pun though is the client's one about drenching his sword in imperial blood. 🤣 The posing and facial expression are also rather good, highlighted by the quite demonstrative lips of your character.  Technically, the screens are vivid and well lighted, so I guess Devianna's advices regarding facelight indeed paid-off. And scenario-wise, the events unfold rather slowly, but the incentive to know what happens next is definitely there ! :smiley:

 

Malicia : «Thora looks like she's very intelligent and very good at talking. That'll make her to become very successful, yes. :classic_sleepy: »

On 3/4/2020 at 8:56 AM, SpyVsPie said:

Some of the PC expressions do seem a touch over the top from time to time. If I recall you said you were adjusting them manually in racemenu. Are you aware that mfg commands can also be used on the PC? Might give you a touch more ease of control and save you a few hundred hours per entry (doing everything in racemenu does not sound too pleasant).

While it's somewhat excessive at some moments, I find that considering his protagonist affirmed mindset, and past as a prostitute, it increases those traits. So while not intentional, I don't see it as a mistake here, on the contrary.

 

17 hours ago, LexiAJ82 said:

Sex is an important part of what makes us who we are. It influences us and who we are in almost every way. But it's still looked away af taboo and so a lot of people label anything with sex as porn. I happen to believe, and I've seen it done, that sex can be part of a real story.

A big +1 for this. Game of Thrones is a proof of it if needed. But the quality of the story itself is what's make it good or not, and so authors who invest themselves in improving it could reach more than those focusing purely on the sexually arousing/porn part, IMO. :classic_smile:

 

 

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8 hours ago, Tirloque said:

A here is the whole chapter ! I agree with what's been said, in terms of ergonomics the pleasure of reading has improved quite a lot, with bubbles efficiently queued and your own touch of fantasy in the captions. Your heroine also shows some personality, with thoughts and dialogues often humoring the situation in one way or another. My favorite pun though is the client's one about drenching his sword in imperial blood. 🤣 The posing and facial expression are also rather good, highlighted by the quite demonstrative lips of your character.  Technically, the screens are vivid and well lighted, so I guess Devianna's advices regarding facelight indeed paid-off. And scenario-wise, the events unfold rather slowly, but the incentive to know what happens next is definitely there ! :smiley:

Thanks!  There was definitely help along the way. The writing, screen choices, and ordering of shots was mine, but the overall quality of the presentation and look of the story benefitted so much from the suggestions you, Devianna, and of course Malicia, gave during those first few posts. It wouldn't have looked nearly as good without all of your input, and I'm grateful for that. 

 

I always worry a bit about my pacing because my work usually tends to be kind of a slow burn, but the consensus based on past comments seems to be that as long as it's informative, or important to the characters or story people don't mind because I usually leave them wanting to know what's next. So hopefully that continues going forward from here.

 

8 hours ago, Tirloque said:

 Malicia : «Thora looks like she's very intelligent and very good at talking. That'll make her to become very successful, yes. :classic_sleepy: »

 

Here's hoping! But yes Thora is meant to be charismatic, with very strong social skills. (Basically her saving grace as, at the moment she's mediocre at best with most other aspects of life). 

 

8 hours ago, Tirloque said:

 While it's somewhat excessive at some moments, I find that considering his protagonist affirmed mindset, and past as a prostitute, it increases those traits. So while not intentional, I don't see it as a mistake here, on the contrary.

 

Thora's personality and mannerisms are based, at least in part, on aspects of how I am IRL. So while the expressions and gestures can be a bit over the top at times, it's kind of grounded in reality. I can see how this might work for some, but not all readers in the comic format though. I'm definitely thinking about whether I'll keep that up going forward, and appreciate all of the thoughts on that so far. 

 

8 hours ago, Tirloque said:

 A big +1 for this. Game of Thrones is a proof of it if needed. But the quality of the story itself is what's make it good or not, and so authors who invest themselves in improving it could reach more than those focusing purely on the sexually arousing/porn part, IMO. :classic_smile:

I love Game of Thrones (for the most part) and it's actually kind of an inspiration on how to handle sexual content in story telling. (Though even GOT could be a little excessive on occasion). But people are at their most vulnerable during sex. What better time to explore their character? There are so many sexual scenes in GOT that informed the characters so well and even affected your (or at least my) opinion of them, even itst in small ways. That's kind of what I hope to do here with sexual content I include. 

 

8 hours ago, Tirloque said:

 Your heroine also shows some personality, with thoughts and dialogues often humoring the situation in one way or another. My favorite pun though is the client's one about drenching his sword in imperial blood. 🤣 

Yeah. That one actually came to me right in the moment while I was actually asking the dialogue to the scene. I was pretty happy with it as well! 😂

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On 3/5/2020 at 3:20 PM, Tirloque said:

But the quality of the story itself is what's make it good or not, and so authors who invest themselves in improving it could reach more than those focusing purely on the sexually arousing/porn part, IMO. :classic_smile:

Then again I hear there are actually people who think some of that crap is irreproachable 😉🤔

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9 minutes ago, SpyVsPie said:

Then again I hear there are actually people who think some of that crap is irreproachable 😉🤔

It's not a matter of being "irreproachable" or or not, it's not reprehensible to have kinks. The thing is that if you do limit yourself to it, you'll end up stopping to develop beyond that limit. That's fine if arousal is your sole objective, but not if you wanna learn something you'll be able to carry on elsewhere. :classic_smile:

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9 hours ago, SpyVsPie said:

Then again I hear there are actually people who think some of that crap is irreproachable 😉🤔

 

8 hours ago, Tirloque said:

It's not a matter of being "irreproachable" or or not, it's not reprehensible to have kinks. The thing is that if you do limit yourself to it, you'll end up stopping to develop beyond that limit. That's fine if arousal is your sole objective, but not if you wanna learn something you'll be able to carry on elsewhere. :classic_smile:

I think there's room for both, and I don't think there's anything wrong with haveing sexual content in a story for the eroticism of it, on occassion, but if you're doing it often it becomes a completely different kind of story. 

 

And there's nothing wrong with that type of story or content. Many people check the blogs looking for exactly that. It all really comes down to personal taste and what each person is looking for in the moment. 

 

I personally prefer a story, and if I had to choose between the two I'd take story over sex any day. (Fortunately, I don't have to choose because there are some very well done stories on this site).

 

I think the biggest "Turn off" for me is a story riddled with typos. It's one thing if English isn't your native language, that's completely understandable. But in other cases, all those typos and errors just show a lack of care and effort. 

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10 hours ago, LexiAJ82 said:

 

I think there's room for both, and I don't think there's anything wrong with haveing sexual content in a story for the eroticism of it, on occassion, but if you're doing it often it becomes a completely different kind of story. 

 

And there's nothing wrong with that type of story or content. Many people check the blogs looking for exactly that. It all really comes down to personal taste and what each person is looking for in the moment. 

 

I personally prefer a story, and if I had to choose between the two I'd take story over sex any day. (Fortunately, I don't have to choose because there are some very well done stories on this site).

That's one of the reasons our little community is so good, we can have both stories and sexual content at the same time. Just what Malicia likes ! :classic_wink:

 

But if one day some of us should wonder about sharing her or his work on a larger scale, sexual content should have to be toned down. Which would leave purely sexual content creators with nearly nothing left. :classic_smile:

10 hours ago, LexiAJ82 said:

I think the biggest "Turn off" for me is a story riddled with typos. It's one thing if English isn't your native language, that's completely understandable. But in other cases, all those typos and errors just show a lack of care and effort. 

Some languages are very different from english, so that only bothers me if the author doesn't tries to improve it. The true value of the story often lies elsewhere, unless you're into pure text works.

On 3/6/2020 at 6:14 AM, LexiAJ82 said:

Thanks!  There was definitely help along the way. The writing, screen choices, and ordering of shots was mine, but the overall quality of the presentation and look of the story benefitted so much from the suggestions you, Devianna, and of course Malicia, gave during those first few posts. It wouldn't have looked nearly as good without all of your input, and I'm grateful for that.

Malicia : « You're very welcome, Mrs Lexi. » :classic_sleepy:

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Great job! I love the idea and the scenario and I'm very curious to see where this is going. :thumbsup:

 

On the sex vs "real story" content I think you can have both in the same story. I started out a lot more on the sex side and gravitated more and more towards the story side. Doing purely erotic content leads you to do more and larger stories around it to give the sex scenes more meaningful context. (Different characters, different location, different relationships etc... )

 

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11 hours ago, Alter Native said:

Great job! I love the idea and the scenario and I'm very curious to see where this is going. :thumbsup:

Thanks! Always appreciate the encouragement! I'm also very curious to see where it's going! 🤔 

 

Actually, I have a pretty good outline of where things are going short term (with some room to play around if anything jumps out at me as we go of course).

11 hours ago, Alter Native said:

On the sex vs "real story" content I think you can have both in the same story. I started out a lot more on the sex side and gravitated more and more towards the story side. Doing purely erotic content leads you to do more and larger stories around it to give the sex scenes more meaningful context. (Different characters, different location, different relationships etc... )

Completely 100% agree. This is what I was talking about in an earlier post, but you've summed it up much better with one word: Context. That's really what it boils down to. 

 

Thanks again! Adding you to my growing list of authors to check out as time allows! (I wish I had more of that by the way!) 🤨

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On 3/6/2020 at 8:37 PM, Tirloque said:

It's not a matter of being "irreproachable" or or not, it's not reprehensible to have kinks. The thing is that if you do limit yourself to it, you'll end up stopping to develop beyond that limit. That's fine if arousal is your sole objective, but not if you wanna learn something you'll be able to carry on elsewhere. :classic_smile:

 

I was just ribbing you for praising the hottest of garbage, no need to get serious or anything 😩

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7 hours ago, SpyVsPie said:

I was just ribbing you for praising the hottest of garbage, no need to get serious or anything 😩

Malicia : « Then you should very stop looking serious when you're ribbing, 'cause guys are very silly, so they don't understand anything, you see ? :classic_excl:

 

                Or do you ribbing only with someone who's very expert at understanding. :classic_sleepy: »

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