Afraid of women, help me guys and girls

[shirow]

So confidence huh?

 

Can one of you, describe what confidence actually means to you? The only thing I can think of when it comes to confidence is douchebaggery, and that I dislike... enormously, but that might be just my submissive personality.

 

Can a submissive be confident?

 

Hmm... according to some dictionary definition confidence is “self-assurance arising from an appreciation of one's abilities.” IDK

 Now  I'm asking myself if I can be confident .

But the only thing I know is that  I can grow a pair of balls sometimes if people piss me off too much.

[Queen Bee]

Can a submissive be confident?

 

Oh, yes they can. A sub isn't always submissive 24/7, and very often uses the role as an out from stress from their daily lives. Subs can be anyone, even high power businesspeople, doctors, lawyers, politicians...there's no set type, just like how there's no set type to be a Dom/me.

 

The problem is most people tend to think of subs as weaklings or cowards, and that couldn't be further from the truth. First time Dom/mes often make the mistake of assuming a sub will do whatever they say, only to find out it simply doesn't work like that. A sub can be strong and confident yet bow to the greater authority of their Dom/mes, like how an army soldier can be strong and confident but still say "yes, sir/ma'am" to a superior officer. It depends on the person, of course, but for the most part subs are confident and strong willed. It's why it takes a special person, a Dom/me, to make us submit.

 

 

 

 Now  I'm asking myself if I can be confident .

But the only thing I know is that  I can grow a pair of balls sometimes if people piss me off too much.

 

 

I'm tempted to go off on a diatribe about how stupid it is to say "grow a pair", as if the lack of testicles denotes automatic weakness, but I'll save you the wall of text. Instead, I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes, incorrectly attributed to Betty White.

 

"Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are soft and weak. If you want to grow something, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding." -Sheng Wang

[fizzybutt]

 

 

 

"Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are soft and weak. If you want to grow something, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding." -Sheng Wang

 

 

Sheng Wang may have said it first but it's quite a bit funnier when Betty White says it.

[Queen Bee]

 

 

 

 

"Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are soft and weak. If you want to grow something, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding." -Sheng Wang

 

 

Sheng Wang may have said it first but it's quite a bit funnier when Betty White says it.

 

 

It would make for a pretty sweet Betty White quote, but according to some people, she went on record as never having said it. Apparently this joke "goes just a bit beyond where (she) would step professionally". Oh well.

[fizzybutt]

 

 

 

 

 

"Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are soft and weak. If you want to grow something, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding." -Sheng Wang

 

 

Sheng Wang may have said it first but it's quite a bit funnier when Betty White says it.

 

 

It would make for a pretty sweet Betty White quote, but according to some people, she went on record as never having said it. Apparently this joke "goes just a bit beyond where (she) would step professionally". Oh well.

 

 

I could have sworn I remembered her actually saying that somewhere. But I can't find it. I thought she had said it on Off Their Rockers a couple years back. I've been watching her my whole even though I'm only old enough to remember Golden Girls. She's a frickin' hilarious old woman. Her innuendos get pretty dirty and she's made Ferguson blush.

[LordJerle]

I occasionally sit down too hard and land on one of my balls.  Not a wonderful feeling at all.

[Loveryus]

I have kind of the same situation as the guy who started this thread. First I used to fall in love with girls. They never loved me back. The first time that happened, I was heartbroken for about a year and couldn't even really get my job done. The next girl helped me lose my virginity, which was cool, but no, she didn't love me. Afterwards I got to know a really hot girl (a nymphomaniac) and we had a lot of hot sex, kissed and liked each other. She was disgusted by dicks though, so she grabbed mine with two fingers to put it back in while we had sex. So the pleasuring was a little bit one-sided. She had a boyfriend who was okay with us by the way. Later she started treating me like shit, cause I had a dizzy phase where I wasn't talking smart stuff all the time. That was about the time when I stopped keeping contact, cause I realised that I was in the situation my parents were in before my mum threw him out... I found out that loveless sex wasn't what I'm really looking for, cause I need harmony in my life. Than I started enjoy being single and kind of gave up on hoping to get a girlfriend, cause of the pain of rejection and bad treatment. A few unlucky tries to make a girl like me happened now. Nothing big, cause I kind of expected it to fail.

 

I got to thai massage's once every month after a while. This is where it started to get really fucked up. I was raised with a lot of morals and stuff and one day the cute asian woman massaged me and I had a big boner and she offered me to help me with it for free, cause she liked me. I grabbed her breasts and it turned out to be a very loveless situation. She mechanically masturbated and I was thinking, that I could do that better on my own. After I came I was shaking as if it was really cold. I could barely speak cause me teeth were chattering. I don't really know why... Maybe, cause I kind of paid for sex and killed one of my self-inflicted rules?

 

Whenever I get close with a girl now (that I like and haven't friendzoned) this annoying chattering and shaking starts, which is quite disturbing for both the girl and me.

 

I don't even know if a psychatrist could help with that... I wonder if porn consume has something to do with my mental mess. Maybe I have to read self esteem books again.

Any ideas or advices about this?

[Molevalence]

As stereotypical and generic as this sounds, all you need is confidence and to be yourself. If you have both of those communication with women is simple. Most women like confidence and when you are being your true self and not pretending to be someone you're not you are up front and once again expressing confidence in yourself. Also falsifying about yourself will come back to bite you in the ass later on. 

[Ezarr]

I don't know if you still need help with this but here's my go on the matter.

 

About that fear/hate you are feeling towards women now, since you yourself don't know whats wrong i would say that your perception of women got overwriting in your subconscious from those past events where you felt hurt and rejected by them. So now every time you approach a girl even if you are not thinking about it, your subconscious brings back to you all those hard feelings from the past and is in some way creating a barrier between you and women. All on the sake of protecting you from harm again. So now you have this internal struggle cause your mind and your subconscious mind are not aligned. They are not on the same page, one wants to get near to women and try to get in a relationship with them, while the other one wants to stay away from them and is avoiding to get hurt again. For this to happen means that you where through some serious pain before and now your subconscious has created this "auto-lock". You see, the mind is weird like that, even if your conscious mind has already gotten over the pain, your subconscious mind is still living in the past.

 

If you want to fix this and get them to work together you'll have to do some meditation or introspection whatever you wanna call it and try to put it at easy. Think of it has a little kid who is afraid and is your call to tell him not to worry about it, that everything is gonna be all right and that you won't let him to go through all of that again. If you need a start, try asking yourself this: "why are you so afraid/hateful of women?" and just wait for your own mind to come up with the answer. Of course this conversation is going to take place on your mind, so don't speak the words, just say them in your mind. Do this in solitude, find a place and time where you don't get distracted by noises or other people, you just need to be able to hear your own thoughts clearly. laying in bed facing the ceiling is a good position for this to work better (remember that psychologist sofa from movies). In some cases people can't do this by themselves and find it easier to have and actual person to talk it out, that's why psychologist exist. So don't hesitate in seeking professional help if you are in need.

 

By the way, don't fear rejection! rejection is a GOOD thing. I know it sucks and it can get painful sometimes but it also means you were able to convey your feelings and that takes some courage man, believe me getting rejected is always a better scenario than the never knowing one.

[Darkpig]

Don't date lesbians unless you are a lesbian. (Or is that too obvious?)

[gregathit]

Your problem isn't women.  Your problem is YOU.  You have zero self confidence.  Before you can learn to love others, you need to learn how to love yourself.  Sounds stupid and corny, but it is the truth.  Ask any female you respect if they are drawn to or want to be with a guy with self confidence issues.  You'll come back with a big fat goose egg.  Learn to love who you are and enjoy being you.  Once you do, attracting women will be the least of your issues.

 

 

By the way, I'm afraid of clowns.  Yep.  Why else do you think my head is up my ass?  

[Guest]

I have kind of the same situation as the guy who started this thread. First I used to fall in love with girls. They never loved me back. The first time that happened, I was heartbroken for about a year and couldn't even really get my job done. The next girl helped me lose my virginity, which was cool, but no, she didn't love me. Afterwards I got to know a really hot girl (a nymphomaniac) and we had a lot of hot sex, kissed and liked each other. She was disgusted by dicks though, so she grabbed mine with two fingers to put it back in while we had sex. So the pleasuring was a little bit one-sided. She had a boyfriend who was okay with us by the way. Later she started treating me like shit, cause I had a dizzy phase where I wasn't talking smart stuff all the time. That was about the time when I stopped keeping contact, cause I realised that I was in the situation my parents were in before my mum threw him out... I found out that loveless sex wasn't what I'm really looking for, cause I need harmony in my life. Than I started enjoy being single and kind of gave up on hoping to get a girlfriend, cause of the pain of rejection and bad treatment. A few unlucky tries to make a girl like me happened now. Nothing big, cause I kind of expected it to fail.

 

I got to thai massage's once every month after a while. This is where it started to get really fucked up. I was raised with a lot of morals and stuff and one day the cute asian woman massaged me and I had a big boner and she offered me to help me with it for free, cause she liked me. I grabbed her breasts and it turned out to be a very loveless situation. She mechanically masturbated and I was thinking, that I could do that better on my own. After I came I was shaking as if it was really cold. I could barely speak cause me teeth were chattering. I don't really know why... Maybe, cause I kind of paid for sex and killed one of my self-inflicted rules?

 

Whenever I get close with a girl now (that I like and haven't friendzoned) this annoying chattering and shaking starts, which is quite disturbing for both the girl and me.

 

I don't even know if a psychatrist could help with that... I wonder if porn consume has something to do with my mental mess. Maybe I have to read self esteem books again.

Any ideas or advices about this?

I liked your story about the cute asian woman. I'm all disagreeing with some of the posts here but who died and made me judge and jury? If a person isn't confident, they're being themselves (dammit) you can't have it both ways, feigned confidence and being yourself.

There's also something I read a long time ago about birds, a hand and a bush, and I disagree with that too, bushes are better than hands, but who died, etc.

forget about "most women" or "most men", just remember that old saw about horses and riding them after you fall off.

Some where there's a nice lady for you, but you might not meet her for a bit.

That's my bit, "Keep trying"

[Loveryus]

 

I have kind of the same situation as the guy who started this thread. First I used to fall in love with girls. They never loved me back. The first time that happened, I was heartbroken for about a year and couldn't even really get my job done. The next girl helped me lose my virginity, which was cool, but no, she didn't love me. Afterwards I got to know a really hot girl (a nymphomaniac) and we had a lot of hot sex, kissed and liked each other. She was disgusted by dicks though, so she grabbed mine with two fingers to put it back in while we had sex. So the pleasuring was a little bit one-sided. She had a boyfriend who was okay with us by the way. Later she started treating me like shit, cause I had a dizzy phase where I wasn't talking smart stuff all the time. That was about the time when I stopped keeping contact, cause I realised that I was in the situation my parents were in before my mum threw him out... I found out that loveless sex wasn't what I'm really looking for, cause I need harmony in my life. Than I started enjoy being single and kind of gave up on hoping to get a girlfriend, cause of the pain of rejection and bad treatment. A few unlucky tries to make a girl like me happened now. Nothing big, cause I kind of expected it to fail.

 

I got to thai massage's once every month after a while. This is where it started to get really fucked up. I was raised with a lot of morals and stuff and one day the cute asian woman massaged me and I had a big boner and she offered me to help me with it for free, cause she liked me. I grabbed her breasts and it turned out to be a very loveless situation. She mechanically masturbated and I was thinking, that I could do that better on my own. After I came I was shaking as if it was really cold. I could barely speak cause me teeth were chattering. I don't really know why... Maybe, cause I kind of paid for sex and killed one of my self-inflicted rules?

 

Whenever I get close with a girl now (that I like and haven't friendzoned) this annoying chattering and shaking starts, which is quite disturbing for both the girl and me.

 

I don't even know if a psychatrist could help with that... I wonder if porn consume has something to do with my mental mess. Maybe I have to read self esteem books again.

Any ideas or advices about this?

I liked your story about the cute asian woman. I'm all disagreeing with some of the posts here but who died and made me judge and jury? If a person isn't confident, they're being themselves (dammit) you can't have it both ways, feigned confidence and being yourself.

There's also something I read a long time ago about birds, a hand and a bush, and I disagree with that too, bushes are better than hands, but who died, etc.

forget about "most women" or "most men", just remember that old saw about horses and riding them after you fall off.

Some where there's a nice lady for you, but you might not meet her for a bit.

That's my bit, "Keep trying"

 

 

Thanks a lot!

[Cema]

Thread is 2 years old guys

[joemonco]

Don't date lesbians unless you are a lesbian. (Or is that too obvious?)

 

There is a lot of really bad advice in this thread (especially the smile thing), but this is actually good advice.  The only advice I'd add is not to be a doormat.

[Rod Broward]

lol

[Chaos63]

I know, I kissed a girl once when I was young and the very next morning I woke up with leprosy and triple dick cancer.

True story man women are scary as fuck, best to steer clear of that shit.