squall1151 Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 hi so this might be not the place to put this but I use this site a lot and wonted an outsiders perspective. so basically the shortest version ever. im 24 live with parents. and family 10 minutes away. no job. no education, no gcse ect. no conferdance. no experiences. I have a few friends 360 milles away. and none where I live now. there are no colleges where I live. I wont to do IT but cant. if I move I might be able to do an IT course there. I have my hole familys secrets in my head and its driving me mad. I know its up to decide ect but im just wondering. has any one ever moved from your home town miles away, to just basically just live on there own, in the middle on no where. ish aka a city.
flutie Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 If it is a chance to better yourself or follow a dream then do it. Besides if you stay where you are at, you may regret not making the move down the road.
gregathit Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 I am in construction and have had to relocate numerous times with work. Often those relocation's involved moving to cities were I did not know another person. It sucks and can be kind of scary, but that is unfortunately how life is at times. I would recommend moving only if you can find work however. Moving just to get away from family with no money source will just add to your stress level and make you even more miserable than you are now. Just 2 cents from an old dog.
nonusnomeni Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 without proper education or at least any education there is no future for youngster anywhere on this planet and after all that is your live and your future and don't worry i think your parents will support your wish for better future and what greg say find your own source of income
dobmc Posted February 16, 2014 Posted February 16, 2014 It seems that theres a surge of adults living with their parents recently. There's a good reason why, and moving far away from your parents might lead to a harder life. But what is the worth? My personal suggestion: Don't think about the consequences, just do it. And when I say this, I mean be careful of course, but don't pressure yourself with negative ideas. Remember, don't do it because you were told to. Do it because you think it's right. That's one step towards gaining confidence. But yes, as the previous poster said, having a education is necessary. Maybe a decade ago it was good just graduating highschool, but today? It's going to be hard. But its not impossible, there are people who have reached success despite the circumstances. Just don't expect it. As for stories, I don't have. People tend to stay in cities where I live. Think well, and good luck.
prideslayer Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 has any one ever moved from your home town miles away, to just basically just live on there own, in the middle on no where. ish aka a city. I moved (read: ran) a few hundred miles away when I was 16. When I turned 18, I moved a few thousand miles away (WA -> PA). I'm a high school dropout that never went to college. I didn't have anything except a dufflebag full of clothes, a beat up old car, some gas money, and a destination. I honestly do not think I'll ever understand who so many today continue to live with their parents into their 20s and 30s. Do whatever you need to do. If you don't try things though, you'll never fail, but you'll never succeed either -- and your self confidence will always be in the shitter. Failing builds character, succeeding builds confidence. A person needs both.
Kendo 2 Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 Find a job in the area first. Then move. I wouldn't walk into a situation blind and I wouldn't rely on friends outside of them being your friends, if you know what I mean. I moved out of my parent's house the day I turned 18. It was just how we did things back then, but I'm old school. My friends and I were all working stiffs and we went into the man's world fresh out of high school. Seriously, who wants to live by mom and dad's rules when you can go out and make your own? Having a job and struggling to pay rent and eating fast food for meals and blowing what spare money you have on partying is part of growing up. If you don't have a skill or a craft go get a job somewhere where there are journeymen and become a helper. Power plants, pipe lines, the oil fields, big iron construction jobs, etc. You'll make more being a helper with a job like that than your friends with office jobs do. Don't be afraid of the man's world or the world in general. There is no future in sitting at home with mom and dad and them paying for everything.
gvman3670 Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 I was in the Navy then spent over 20 years in construction. For about 18 years I lived out of a suitcase (although I did have a home base to go to between jobs). I am in the Union now and don't have to travel like that anymore. I kind of miss it to be totally honest with you. I'm actually glad that I've been able to move around and see a lot of this country and quite a bit overseas. Expanding your horizons and seeing/doing new things is an important part of growing as a person.
squall1151 Posted February 17, 2014 Author Posted February 17, 2014 thank you all very much for the replys. I hope I can get some more.
Lagoon0654 Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 I'm rather curious about what sort of secrets your family hides.
frozenbacon Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 My life philosophy is that no one knows how to handle your life better than yourself. You got a better idea than anyone else as to what you need to do because you know your situation better than anyone. If you think that moving out of your parents house will help you then go for it. With that said and done, you need life experiences. If you can afford to move out of your parents house, do it. When I moved out of my parents house my savings went to zero and I was seriously stressing about how I could survive for the next month. Had to take up some jobs I wouldn't even consider when I lived with my parents. But the process of becoming independent gave me grow so much as a person that I think the stress was worth it.
RitualClarity Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Your 24. Do what you need to do. You don't have a wife or kids to support right? Now is the time to set yourself up for life. If you decide to move away, great? You change your mind, fine. If you do decide to move make a plan. If you can't do it now start planing on what you need to do to be able to do it. Need some savings for the move, work some side jobs. Going to take some IT education, learn what they require. Can you get admitted? Can you do something in the mean time to further make that decision successful? Like read books on the matter, practice, perhaps even help someone else in the area with real world experience. (both money and experience ). You can be your own man regardless if you are living with your mother in the basement or off on your own. Make your decisions, rely on your ability to find out answers and make proper decisions. Be assertive in your actions towards family and friends. Protect your wants and desires. They are your wants and desires, if they care for you they will respect them. If not then ignore there actions. Anything that isn't helpful gets ignored. as the sayings go "accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative and don't mess with mister in-between To answer the question on moving from the family. If they are causing you grief and negativity you should eliminate or minimize interactions. It would only bring you down.
aRuthSA Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Speaking from experience-I've moved many times, sometimes seven+ times a year, sometimes thousands of miles away from family. At the age of 24-you are stuck in an area, gauging from your description, with little opportunity for personal growth. My knee jerk reaction-you should have moved six years ago. Now, for a more level headed response: I've moved to areas where I knew people. Although the experiences were not overtly negative, I wish now, that I had moved to an area I wanted to live, and then made friends with people there instead of moving to sub-optimal locations that people I already knew lived. That way, I'd live in an area I found interesting, and could surround myself with people with whom I could make a fresh start. Not to say you should turn your back on the people who are in you life now (those who bring positivity and support into your life always keep close). People who make you feel ashamed of yourself, or them, or who drag you into negative things-you should distance yourself from them. Rule of thumb, if someone in your life doesn't want to see you happier, healthier, or more successful, then you need to put distance (emotional or physical-or both) between you. Also-regardless of if your family has been uplifting you-sometimes knowledge of where you have come from is invaluable-to measure how far you've come, to learn forgiveness, or-in some cases, to mend the hurts. Also-keep this in mind: you are 24, I'm guessing unmarried, and without children from your post. If you are going to make a big change in your life, then now is the time. You should go into a move with a plan, a place to stay, a budget, a job...to make sure you keep yourself safe, provided for. Your job doesn't have to be incredible, you can survive on min. wages for a while-but you must make it priority to be able to feed yourself and keep a roof over your head-without depending on someone else. You need to work towards independence. Relying on someone else in not a valid option in the long term. Being homeless is not a good option. (I've been homeless, so I know what I'm talking about, for how that happened, see above point about people who don't want to see you happier, healthier or more sucessful). My personal story aside, when you move, make a consorted effort to get involved with people that have common interests, and get yourself into school! If you can't get into school right now-lack the prerequisites, or whatever-then work on those first before relocating. Without an education, no one has much opportunity. And a side note-what you choose matters, but doing well, and making personal contacts matters alot. A flawless GPA in the STEM field with zero references doesn't look good. And-although many may not push this-trade schools offer cheaper (money wise) educations in careers that are often in high demand. You can get a job almost anywhere if you know a trade. So if university is not an option yet, trade school is not a bad way to go. Whatever you choose-MAKE SURE all proper accreditations are held by the school-that way you don't end up wasting your time and money. TL:DR-Do it, but be smart. You have your whole life ahead of you, make it yours. O.P.-if you have need to discuss this more, please pm me, I'm here if you have questions or wish to talk.
Rayblue Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Do it, it's better than being distracted or handicapped. At such an age, you have a better chance than I do. Best opportunity to use your head. To go indie is to test what you've learned in the last 20+ years of your life, anywhere from daily routines, to dealing with illness, to find work, to pay the bills, to find ways to socialize with like-minded people and network, and so on. And of course, figure out a way to date a girl.
Veladarius Posted March 2, 2014 Posted March 2, 2014 I ended up moving 2000 miles from my family some time ago (20+ years?) with some friends, probably one of the best things I did. It got me to support myself and I also ended up meeting the person I married while I was there. I ended up moving back near my family 10 years later and bought a house. If you feel like you are not getting anywhere a change like that can be good.
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